Under the Bloody Moon
by MizzMarie729
Summary: Sesshomaru has spent awhile searching for Naraku with Rin and Jaken. Now that Rin is grown up will she become a target? When Sesshomaru must participate in a battle not his own can he face his struggling heart and the fact his ally is trying to court Rin?
1. Tied together with a smile

Under the bloody moon…

Chapter 1: Tied together with a smile 

Authors note + Disclaimer: I do not own INUYASHA or ANY of the characters. So sad.

Well I didn't know how to start it or any so be patient please and PLEASE REVIEW. NO FLAMERS. Constructive NICE criticism is ALWAYS welcome. I promise this will have more direction next chapter. The starters is almost always as important as the ender lmao!

Rin followed her lord faithfully. It had been so many years since they had heard any news about Naraku. Rin swallowed nervously as she fiddled with the sleeves of her kimono. She was tired and thirsty; they had been traveling a long time for just a little information on Naraku's whereabouts. Rin knew her lord wanted to defeat Naraku badly now that Naraku had recently set up a trap for them. Rin nearly died saving Jaken in the process. Sesshomaru seemed so out raged because of this, before he was angry but now he was livid. Rin was now seventeen and growing to be quite a woman. It proved hard for Sesshomaru to look after her the way he once did for she had grown a mind of her own, and he had grown a heart of his own… a heart that could not send her away. He did care for Rin… but Sesshomaru would never admit it out loud.

"Rin," Sesshomaru said stopping and peaking behind him. She hadn't been paying attention, being a growing girl she began to daydream, and while doing so ran into her lord and fell back onto her butt with a thud. Rin blushed as Sesshomaru looked down at her, "pay attention Rin."

"Yes my lord," she said before he turned around and walked away. Rin jumped up dusting herself off as Jaken walked behind them guiding Ah-Un. Finally they had found a good stopping place. Sesshomaru patrolled the parameter as Rin set up a fire and the tents. Jaken found Sesshomaru lying against a tree in the forest surrounding their camp.

"My lord," Jaken said respectfully, "you seem worried."

"Help Rin," Sesshomaru said plainly as he thought about what waited for him at home. Sesshomaru knew that the rest of his lands and the world were plunging into another war with some demons off to the north. Soon someone would call upon him for help and he'd have to go. Jaken sighed before turning and walking back to camp seeing Rin staring up at the lowering sun.

"Rin I think something bothers lord Sesshomaru," Jaken said sitting beside the girl he had grown to love and admire. Such determination she had. She would never leave their side, never… no matter how much pain she was in.

"I know," Rin said before picking at a flower, "I noticed also."

"I tried to talk to him," Jaken said pushing a stick in the glowing fire.

"What did he say?" Rin asked in curiousness.

"What do you think he said," Jaken said in frustration, "our lord is so stubborn, and never trusts in this Jaken."

"He trusts you Jaken. He just keeps his burdens to himself, our lord is strong I suppose," Rin shrugged, "maybe I'll try to talk to him…"

"Rin," Jaken was to late she was already crossing the ground with such speed yet lack in speed. Rin felt the wind rushing past her. Rin saw her lord sitting there the wind blowing his hair around. Rin's heart thumped wildly in her chest making her hand fly up gripping her kimono as she watched the last of the sunset glow upon him. She let a small smile slip before her lord spoke.

"Why do you stand there?" Sesshomaru said not even looking back at her. Rin swallowed before walking towards him.

"Lord… Sesshomaru," Rin said noticing how amber his eyes were. She slowly slipped to her knees a look in her eyes that caught Sesshomaru by surprise.

"Why are you looking at me like that Rin?" Sesshomaru asked curious as the growing girls change in mental state brought curiousness to that Sesshomaru.

"Oh… sorry," Rin said looking away before biting her lip. She was back to normal; it was a momentary lapse in reason, which happened here in there with her growing mind.

"Why did you come out here Rin?" Sesshomaru asked trying to hide a small smile. He knew recently he made her nervous, and with her he got stronger. He had to be more firm with her, if he didn't she could remain too soft and trust anyone and he could fall into the same trap as his father and half brother. Humans.

"Something has been bothering you my lord and though I am still young I am not blind," Rin said a thought coming to her head, 'I am clearly no longer blind… to anything about him it seems.'

"Rin why do you blush?" Sesshomaru asked making her cheeks pinker before turning away completely, "is there something wrong with you Rin?"

"Sesshomaru what is bothering you," Rin said her back turned to him making him smile. Should Sesshomaru deny her an answer and push her away as usual? Or should he tell her of his fear?

"Rin for so long you've been led around like a pony in a ring, this has never been your price to pay and still you've always been drug down. I will not drag you down any longer," Sesshomaru said unable to deny not only her change of attitude, bravery, loyalty, her attention, or her body… but he also did notice the falseness in her smile. Something he had once talked to Jaken about, at that time he wondered whether sending her away would save her but Jaken growing attached to the girl begged Sesshomaru not to send her away, "do not think I do not notice the fake smile you are tied together with. You are already starting to fall apart Rin."

"Sesshomaru my lord," Rin said quickly not wanting him to be angry with her, "I assure you I am all here. You've always been able to confide in me do not let my momentary state be what hinders you from telling me."

"Rin it is true I have told you things no other has ever been allowed to hear for the sake that I know your loyalty. It is not that I fear you won't hold it, I fear not it being let out. It is how you will take it," Sesshomaru sighed thinking of her protection. He learned that with humans they were easily broken and damaged. He'd have to protect her body… and her heart now, which was more responcibilty then that Sesshomaru wanted sometimes. Rin had grown quite attached to Sesshomaru… perhaps it use to be too much for him and quite annoying but he began to enjoy the company in his dark and lonely life. You'd think he would see this girl as his daughter and Rin see him as her father. But Sesshomaru was a powerful youkai and Rin was a human girl, he'd never think let alone claim a human child as his kid for he could never have a human child. It would be a hanyou if all else, Sesshomaru was always too busy with his duties to spend much time with her except when he'd be traveling to check on assets and finding Naraku. He couldn't trust to leave her there alone for long periods of times for the simple fact that Naraku so many times had used it to his advantage. It wasn't until she turned fifteen that he noticed how much she had grown up and so began to confide in her more. He saw her as his personal diary, he would tell her all that bothered him and she'd not say a word unless he asked which was rare but had happened.

"My lord do not worry for my sake," Rin said sitting next to him. He looked off into the white moon thinking about the small seventeen-year-old sitting beside him. What a mind of her own she had grown, "I am stronger then you like to think."

"I will shortly be called for war Rin," Sesshomaru said as calm and smoothly as ever. Usually in public he wasn't much of a talker, but with Rin he didn't have to worry about her being a blabbermouth. She had seen what he did to betrayers and not only being loyal to him for saving her life… she didn't want to risk making him take back the life he had given her.

"Sesshomaru no," Rin said forgetting the no speaking role. But Sesshomaru did not scorn her; "please take me with you lord Sesshomaru."

"I cannot," Sesshomaru said resting his arm upon his knee that was up in the air as the other leg laid flat on the ground.

"What about me? What will I do?" Rin said more to herself then him. He looked to her and paused a moment. So innocent, so young… and so loyal. To think he had nearly not saved her life what a waste that would have been, "then Sesshomaru all I can say is I know you'll come up on top and prevail. Stand your ground, stand up when it's all crashing down. Stand through the pain you won't drown."

"That isn't all Rin," Sesshomaru said knowing this would break Rin's heart even more. He was not blind nor dumb he could see Rin's affection growing to more then just loyalty with every passing stage of her life. Rin didn't say anything only stared at the ground with such heart broken brown eyes, "I am engaged."

"What?!" Rin said her dark hair flying everywhere as she turned her head to look at him, "when? Why?"

"Rin silence," Sesshomaru barked, "it is what is best for my lands. I cannot always be here and need someone to rule in my stead. It is a good opportunity and as much as I'd rather not it benefits my home. Not that I have to answer to you."

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru-sama," she said tears filling her throat and cracking her voice. Sesshomaru sighed looking away, "I just…"

"What is it Rin?" he asked as she swallowed before getting up, "where are you going?"

"To feed Ah-un it is getting late," Rin said that smile he loved to see had disappeared some how. Sesshomaru knew it was for the best.

"I could never have given you what you desired even if this wasn't the case Rin," Sesshomaru said making her stop before looking back. There was a surprising gentleness in his voice.

"What are you talking about my lord? I'm alright," she said a fake smile crawling across her face. The bigger it got the faker it looked. Sesshomaru just gave a small noise before Rin turned around letting the fake smile be wiped off her face. She wiped the tear from her eye before attending to Ah-Un.

'She never slows down, she doesn't know why but she knows when she is all alone it feels like it's all coming down. She won't turn around, the shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear then the rest won't stop pouring down. Poor Rin… such devastation she must feel. She won't make a sound about it though, alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down. She wants to be found, the only way out is through everything she is running for. This Sesshomaru only bring her down. It is her who must stand up, her who must stand in the rain,' Sesshomaru sighed before looking away from her back.

Authors note:

Short first chapter I know. I hope you enjoyed thank you for reading let me know what you think for the first chapter. Next chapter will have more action u could say!


	2. The butterfly effect

Chapter 2: The butterfly effect

Authors note: Thank you to those who have been reading. And thank you to the three who have been reviewing! YOU ROCK!

Rin spent a couple of days being cold and distant as they walked down the dirt road that would shortly end and take them through a valley. Sesshomaru hated that Rin was not bursting with bubbly-ness like usual. It took a couple days of traveling and Rin to realize she'd be fine.

'Why do I care? Why?' Rin thought as she kicked at a rock hearing it scatter as it bounced across the dirt road. Rin watched as two men drove a wagon down the road noticing the demon lord, the toad looking youkai, and the tiny human girl.

"Is there anything we could help you with? This is our wagons of goods," one of them said with a smile. Rin smiled gasping at all the objects.

"Is there something you like?" Sesshomaru asked standing away from the cart not wanting to be near the pathetic humans.

"Oh… no," Rin said looking back before turning to walk away. Jaken looked at Sesshomaru as the two boys snickers.

"What do you find so funny?" Sesshomaru asked as Jaken led Ah-un trying to catch up with the marching girl.

"Female troubles we can see," one of the brothers said looking at his brother, "we have something that can uh… help you out mate."

"I'm sure you cant," Sesshomaru said before slowly turning to walk off.

"I wouldn't be so sure," the youngest said jumping off the carriage rummaging through the stuff until he found a golden box, "wait mister!"

"What is it?" Sesshomaru said before turning around and seeing the golden box in the kids hand, "what is in it? Or are you trying to sell me a crummy box?"

"Nope," he said before opening it showing a beautiful ruby and diamond necklace. It was a silver change with a red ruby that took the shape of a crystal as a diamond dangled underneath it, "a girl like that would sure appreciate such a wonderful gesture. But…"

"How much?" Sesshomaru asked annoyed with the humans already. But humans were slightly stupid and as much as they thought they were working him… he was working them.

"Huh?" the boy asked dumb founded. Sesshomaru stood there plainly knowing that he had been left behind. 'Rin deserves more then I've given her. I have the money… and I've never thought about buying her anything. Then again she's never asked for a thing in her life,' Sesshomaru thought.

"How much is the necklace?" Sesshomaru asked plainly.

"Well," the boy looked back at his brother, "erm… how about ten gold pieces?"

"Five," Sesshomaru said seriously.

"Nine and two silver," the boy said before Sesshomaru turned around slowly giving him time to quickly think, "fine six!"

"Hmmm," Sesshomaru looked at them as if he might change his mind.

"Fine five and four silver I will go no lower!" the boy yelled angry before Sesshomaru pulled his money out tossing it to them. He took the necklace stuffing it in to a tiny brown bag and tying it to the place he held his money. He left the boys who were pouting over the fact they had been pretty much ripped them off for the price of the necklace. He sighed looking off to the east thinking about how the battle would go down. When he finally found Jaken and Ah-un they were setting up camp. Rin was deep in her thoughts, but Sesshomaru knew she'd notice him walking off. Rin bit her lip wondering if she should talk to him, the sun hadn't dipped fully yet so they had another good hour of sunlight left. Rin slowly slipped away from camp, Sesshomaru made it easy for her to follow his trail so he could discuss with her what he had expected of her… but she surprisingly didn't even try looking for him. Sesshomaru caught her scent fading and quickly went to follow. There she was… somehow she always managed to find a field of wild flowers. He watched the breeze blow against her as she bent over to pick flowers. He smiled softly as he watched her crouching above the ground gently plucking the flowers as if they were tiny babies. Some how picking flowers calmed her? He sat down against a tree feeling the sun beat upon his face as he watched the girl stand in the gentle breeze. How amazing… how different. Sesshomaru sighed before looking away.

'Why am I here watching her?' he thought to himself as his eyes lifted up to hers again, 'I know she loves me. Deep inside I know she does. But does she LOVE me… the way… no…' he quickly pushed it out of his mind, 'do I keep waiting for her to not be angry at me? Or am I wasting time? Why do I care?"

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked turning so her hair blew across her face as the sun shown bright and rich behind her.

"Rin are you ever going to stop being angry with me? I cannot read your mind so what ever it takes for you to stop being angry tell me," he said calmly as if it really didn't matter. He had spent so long acting as if he didn't care, or things weren't important that it was hard to make his face look the same as his mind.

"I don't want you to read my mind my lord," Rin said fully standing straight, "I want you to… stop acting as if I am a child. I want you to care and if you do care then act like it every now and then."

"Foolish," Sesshomaru said still looking at her, "I care for no one."

"Exactly," Rin said sighing, "I've known you for a long time and so I excepted that answer. No one has ever given you a reason to care for them…"

'Except you,' he thought catching himself off guard.

"Which is why it scares me when you talk about those things. That means at any moment you can coldly and uncaringly tell me to leave. I fear that one day you'll no longer have a need for me…" she was cut off by Sesshomaru.

"I've never had a need for you Rin," he said coldly making her gasp as she looked away and at the ground trying to stay strong, "but that didn't mean I was going to make you leave. Your growing up you can make your own choices. I will neither make you stay nor will I make you leave. What ever choice you make I will stand by."

"Really?" Rin asked happy that her lord wasn't rejecting her after all. She knew he'd never love her the way she wanted him to… but he didn't want her to go. Rin watched him as he stood up not breaking eye contact as he walked towards her.

"You're the only one I will ever talk to," he said standing before her as the wind blew the tall meadow grass into their legs and thighs.

"You're the only one I'll ever listen to," she said before leaping into his arms catching him off guard. He didn't hug her back, but he didn't push her away. She didn't care she was just going to burry her face into his chest… her friend. Friends forever. At least that's what she tried to convince herself it was all she wanted.

"Then don't ever choose to leave," he said softly catching her off guard as his hands gently touched her back. It was light enough that she could barely notice they were there, but strong enough that she could feel them there. He sighed before pushing her away, "You should get back to camp."

"What if I don't want to go back without you?" Rin asked looking up at him as she took a step back.

"You shouldn't get anymore attached to me then you already are Rin," he said looking down into her youthful face.

"I think I am as attached as I'm going to get my lord," Rin said looking at him, "I already wish you wouldn't go…"

"Here…" he said swallowing before handing her the tiny brown sack.

"Ohh what is this?" She said dumping it out into her hand. The necklace slid out gleaming and sparkling under the lowering suns last golden goodbye for the night, "Sesshomaru…"

"It's nothing," he said quickly hearing her gasp, "I simply picked it up. It was laying on the grass and I figured you'd like it."

"Sesshomaru?" she said smiling before he looked away trying to not look at her, "why not your fiancée instead of me? Wouldn't she have liked it?"

"Look do you want it or not!" he barked at her making her shake her head quickly. She had always gotten nice things, whatever she wished… but never anything this nice.

"Yes my lord I want it very much," she said playing with it as it lay sprawled out on the palm of her hand.

"Then why aren't you putting it on," he said not looking at her as he tried to hide a smile. That child always amused him.

"Oh… YES. Um… erm, heh," she began to turn red and looked away from her lord.

"What is it!" he said realizing her cheeks were red.

"Will you uh… I don't know how," Rin bit her lip feeling stupid, "I've never had one of these before."

"Oh," he said thinking about it, "turn around."

"What?!" she said looking at him backing up.

"Just do it damn it! Rin I'm not going to hurt you!" he said feel irritation take over. He wanted to see how it looked on her! Wait… he did? 'Since when?' he though before sighing. She smiled at him comforting him slightly before turning around. He reached his hand over her shoulder touch her chest bone as grabbed her hair putting onto the other side of her neck. He shuddered looking at her bare neck trying to peel his eyes away. 'Why?' he though finally looking away. Why did he feel so tormented? He snatched it from her hands feeling angry with himself. He leaned over as he wrapped his arms around her so he could grab the other end of the necklace. He swallowed feeling her push up against him as he felt her shutter he knew that she too was slightly uncomfortable… with her thoughts of the moment. He latched the necklace before his hands fell onto her shoulders and his face went into her hair. Rin swallowed before he pushed off her turning and walking away trying to control his feelings… and the beating of his heart. Never before had it beat like that. Never before had it felt like that. Rin sat there unable to move her breath shallow as she replayed it in her head. What had her lord been thinking? Why had he pulled her so close to him like that… more close then had been needed yet she wanted more? Why was her heart beating so wildly? Why was she having those feelings… what was the butterfly effect she was feeling about?

Authors note: Sorry this is so short I am heading for the cost and I wanted to get something up! I know it isn't much I promise action in the next one. That is a promise to you all! Thank you all for reading!


	3. Nighttime melody and the power of

Chapter 3: Nighttime melody and the power of a heart…

Authors note: Thank you to ArizonaBay for looking at both of my stories! And thank you Crimson Beast for reading and reviewing! And thank you JENN2418 for reading and reviewing both of my stories. YOU ALL ROCK!

Rin walked through the cold night trembling at the thought of seeing Sesshomaru after thinking the way she had. Should she be so scared? If only he knew she had him memorized for so long. Yet she was the only person he'd ever consider letting himself cry in front of. He was a piece of work, as was she. Two souls both lost… but together whole. Rin pushed past the trees stopping before entering the camp. Sesshomaru wasn't there. But there was master Jaken snoring beside Ah-un as usual. Rin smiled before hearing something break behind her. Rin jumped turning around to see a pair of glowing amber eyes. Sudden relief rushed through her as she let out a sigh and shrunk back into her original comfortable posture.

"Did I frighten you Rin?" Sesshomaru asked standing before her eyes slowly adjusted to the light he brought in the darkness.

"I'm alright Sesshomaru-sama," Rin swallowed trying to not look him in the eyes.

"Then why do you not look me in my eyes," Sesshomaru asked towering over her. How she had grown so much, she was nearly as tall as he. He was only a head taller then she was. She slowly looked up into his eyes swallowing as she bit her lip, "what are you thinking?"

"Huh?" she said looking at him curious. He sighed pushing the thought out of his head.

"I mean what were you thinking about staying out so late? What if something came and attacked you?" Sesshomaru asked looking down at the moonlight shining on her porcelain skin. She smiled up at him.

"Then you would have rescued me like you normally do," Rin said smiling a sweet smile that made him sigh.

"Yes I would have," he said smiling at her, "but I may not always be around to…"

"Please don't say that… not yet," Rin said looking down at the ground, "honestly I'm not strong enough yet to hear those words."

"Rin?" he asked looking at the girl in surprise. So much obvious devotion, dedication, and love that girl had for her lord.

"Yes Sesshomaru?" she asked itching her nose making him smile as he pulled her hand away.

"Tonight will you sleep near me? So that we can talk?" he asked looking away from her, "it's rather cold out. I figured you could use the extra warmth from my blanket… you being a fragile human."

"Yes lord Sesshomaru," she said swallowing nervously. She grabbed her stuff following him to where he normally would sleep. Rin climbed to the ground next to her lord. He closed his eyes pretending he was asleep, "my lord?"

"Hmmm," he said not opening his eyes. He wanted to but refused to, he was already letting himself go which he couldn't allow. But this calmed his nerves and that was what he needed.

"Are you scared?" she asked tucking her hands under her head. Sesshomaru swallowed before sighing. He didn't open his eyes as he began to feel slightly uncomfortable, though he did care for her he couldn't be so close to her without feeling anger with himself. He knew he was setting himself up for a downfall, falling for humans was in his blood… something he swore he'd never let happen. He knew he was in danger. And worst… so was Rin. Because one day he wouldn't be able to control himself, but he knew he could never let that happen. He sat up making Rin look to him with curiosity. He elegantly stood up and began to walk off. He couldn't sleep around her… he couldn't be around her. She was the only threat to that Sesshomaru. And he knew it, and yet he was too afraid to fear it. Rin sat up quickly and jumped up. Had she said something wrong? "Lord Sesshomaru?"

"Rin go to sleep you need it," he said softly not wanting to look back at her.

"What did I say wrong?" Rin said nervously. She was so tired of saying the wrong things all the time.

"Nothing Rin go to sleep," he said stopping to look out at the clear patch of trees where the moon and stars shown down through.

"I am sorry Sesshomaru, if I was wrong to ask you if you were scared," she said swallowing nervously. She was so his if only she had known her own true hears desires instead of pushing them down. But that was normal for a girl to be nervous like that.

"Rin," he said a little harshly making her snap out of her daze and swallow nervously. She quickly turned around and began to walk back before Sesshomaru realized he was always so harsh on her. She only cared, but that was the problem. He had no place with a human to start with and he let that human care for him. The worst part was… he wanted her to care for him. He wanted her affection, her attention, and her dedication because it made him feel powerful. But not the powerful feeling of owning all of the western lands because he already felt that, but he felt a power that he had never felt before. The power of choice. He never had the choice to take after his dad. He never had the choice to go after Naraku. He had to. Because his father died and Sesshomaru had to take over all the power his father carried. Sesshomaru sighed before looking back at the girl walking back slowly.

"Yes Rin," he said softly making her stop and look back. He watched her soft human eyes glow under the moonlight as the soft breeze gently lifted her hair almost to tease him of things he would not let himself do.

"Yes what lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked timidly. She had lost some of her spirit as she got older and more into pleasing him.

"Sometimes I am afraid, not of death Rin… not of dieing for a cause. But leaving something behind that I'd regret leaving behind the moment I died," Sesshomaru said surprising himself, he just revealed his most interment feeling to Rin… to only realize perhaps he could have been referring to her.

"Sesshomaru," she said smiling at him a warm smile before slowly walking to him, "it wont be good bye."

"What?" he asked looking down at the tiny girl who grabbed at the armless sleeve at his side. He had people working on a way to get him a new arm and they were getting closer and closer. One day he'd be back to his original glory… and the next time Naraku and him met Naraku wouldn't see another day break.

"It's not going to be good bye my lord. You won't leave and not return," she said smiling at him warmly. She showed such confidence even her eyes were doing a good job of lying, but Sesshomaru was not easily fooled he get smell her fear. The fear that she may never see him again.

"Don't lie to me," he said looking down at the ground feeling weak for once. Rin looked at him before touching his chest.

"I'm not lying to you," she said a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Your lying Rin," he said calmly. Rin looked at him and let her true emotion show. Rin shook her head no.

"Not to you my lord, to myself," she said this time she was looking at the ground. Sesshomaru smiled at her. How tall she had grown he had missed her growing up… it was almost as if she transformed over night. He reached out touching the bottom of her chin as he slowly lifted her face to meet his. His eyes locked on hers before she gasped leaping into his arms squeezing him tight, "I'm so scared."

"I know Rin," he said his arms slowly and unsurely wrapping around her back.

"I don't like this feeling of fear, it makes me feel unwell Sesshomaru. For a moment right now I am happy, but when I am alone… no one hears me cry," Rin said her eyes getting watery and her voice cracking, "my life has been changed forever, I know I should know better but there are days when I am just not okay. I don't want to let go. But I need you to know that I am still fighting towards the light some days, and I need you to promise we'll be okay that we'll make it through another day."

"Rin," he said softly so comforted, "you should know your not on your own Rin I told you this. I don't know when but I know now we will make it through some how. But Rin… you have to let go. If I do not return I want you to know that you will be in my will. You will be taken care of even after I am gone, this I can do for you."

"That's not what I want," Rin said unexpectedly.

"That's all I can give you," he said pealing her off of her. She stood there looking at him blankly. He turned to walk away.

"You're my hero lord Sesshomaru," Rin said softly but loud enough for Sesshomaru to hear and turn around.

"Go to sleep Rin," he said before journeying off into the forest. Rin sighed turning around and walking back. Rin laid down in her bed knowing Sesshomaru was not coming back from his midnight walk. Rin looked to her side sighing.

"No one talks to him about the way he lives. He thinks the choices he makes are just his, doesn't know he is a leader with the way he behaves. Does he not realize others will follow the choices he's made? The choices he makes change even my life," Rin said before trying to push her lord out of her mind.

---

For a couple days they traveled uneventfully, which worried Sesshomaru. Rin noticed how many times her lord had sighed and stopped counting after 23. It wasn't until they stopped to rest that she'd ask him. Jaken wasn't ready to stop though he was home sick and really wanted to get back to the castle. They had a four-day trip ahead and Rin feared more and more everyday returning there and losing her lord as usual. What did she have to do to keep him there? What would she be willing to do to keep him there? Sesshomaru would be to much for a simple girl to handle as her lord alone, let alone the feelings she was growing for him would make her crumble underneath all of his power… and if she only knew the things Sesshomaru feared for her. She was an easy target, if only she had known each near death experience she had was because of him, because of all those who hated him. So many times he wanted to send her away for her safety but knew it would only cause more trouble and probably her own life. He knew he couldn't ever bring her back to life again… if she ever was claimed by death. He had cheated death and brought her back to life… and he knew that death would not forget the soul he stole from it. The beautiful bubbly soul who always managed to melt his heart a little more and more, that beautiful soul he did not regret saving from a dark and cold road alone. The only human who ever cared for him, even when he acted and really didn't care about her or anyone else, Rin was tough. If only he knew he'd be this attached to her, that spending more time away from her to avoid that fate his father and brother fell down… would only lead him more on that path.

Sesshomaru watched as Rin walked to a beat he could not hear, that she clearly did. He hid his smile as she looked over to him and smiled. She was already seventeen, how time flew by for those humans. Every inch foot more Sesshomaru and Rin parted and distanced themselves from each other, Sesshomaru would become hollow until the moment they traveled together again. He never understood why he looked so forward to getting out and going on his journeys with Rin. Rin's smiled made him happier then he had felt in awhile, she was back to herself.

"How long until we are home lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken asked making Rin look down sadly.

"Four days approximately," Sesshomaru said looking to Rin who for some reason didn't look happy to hear it, "are you not happy Rin?"

"With what my lord?" Rin asked swallowing nervously.

"Returning home?" Sesshomaru asked also not wanting to return.

"Oh… um I'm fine," Rin said swallowing nervously cowering under his powerful gaze. Why was her lord always so serious?

"That wasn't the question," Sesshomaru said stopping.

"Um… well… heh," Rin went red trying to answer without lying, yet knowing the truth would get her into trouble. Sesshomaru tried to not smile at how hard she was trying to decide.

"Let's stop for the night," he said turning his back to her and facing Jaken and Ah-un, Jaken quickly got to work not wanting to feel his lords boot against his head. Rin quietly and quickly got to setting the fire together gathering tiny sticks around the site that was off the open road. Rin let her lord light it as she got to unrolling bags and feeding Ah-un. Sesshomaru unconsciously watched Rin here and there as she set things out.

"Master Jaken?" Rin asked as Sesshomaru had taken off to check the area for monsters.

"Yes Rin child," Jaken said fluffing his master's bed making Rin giggle. He smiled at the girl he had watched over as she grew up, he had seen her as family to him for she would never leave his side. Never.

"I'm going to go out and look for some extra wood or something. Maybe pick a couple of flowers on the way," Rin smiled before waving.

"BE CAREFUL!" Jaken yelled loud enough for her to hear as she waved at him more, "because if anything happens to you it's my head…"

Rin sat at the top of a hill looking at the castle far off in the distance. She sighed as she leaned against the tree hugging her knees. The win blew around her making her long dark chocolate hair tickle her face and neck. She pushed some of her hair behind her ear. Rin turned her head to see her lord walking slowly through the forest. Rin went to stand up in respect but he placed his hand in the air dismissing her.

"We aren't in public Rin," he said walking closer, "why did you hesitate today when I asked you if you were not happy with returning home?"

"I'm sorry my lord," she said quickly standing up nervously, "I just… I uh…"

"No Rin tell me the truth. You cannot lie to me," he said giving her a strong look, "are you not happy with us anymore?"

"No I love you and Master Jaken," Rin said frantically as her heart began to race fast as she thought he was angry.

"No Rin us, you and I," he said normally making Rin's face go into one of confusion, "what about us Lord Sesshomaru? Aren't we just Sesshomaru and Rin?"

"Rin we are… friends," he said saying the word with distaste. He never considered anyone a friend, "we are more then Sesshomaru and Rin. We have history Rin. I saved you and you… saved me in someway maybe. What is it Rin?"

"Nothing," she said still with a smile that made him look at her in confusion. She quickly wiped off the look, "thank you."

"For what?" Sesshomaru asked knowing exactly what it is she was thanking him for.

"Nothing," she said fiddling with her dress. She looked out at the castle, "I'm scared to go back…"

"Why?" he asked standing besides her looking over his lands.

"Because the minute we step foot in their you and I won't be anything anymore," Rin said looking down fiddling with her kimono. Sesshomaru swallowed softly before looking down and then over to Rin.

"How foolish," he said softly making Rin look to him, "things won't change…"

"You'll be leaving… and you'll have her," Rin said looking at her lord as he stared off at his castle.

"Who?" he asked before looking down at the girl gazing up at him her eyes were so captivating and for a moment he was afraid she could see… she had given him a soul.

"Whoever your future wife or mate is," Rin said crossing her arms. Sesshomaru had completely forgotten about her. Sesshomaru grew speechless and so he grew cold. He turned and slowly walked away dismissing her fears. Rin never felt so alone as she turned to look at the castle where the end of her world awaited. What if she were to just leave and not to return? But that meant… never saying goodbye to Sesshomaru or Jaken. She sighed before falling to the ground crying. She heard the cracking of a twig as she cried into her lap thinking it was Sesshomaru.

"Why issss ssssuch a pretty girl sssssuch assss you sssself crying?" a voice asked behind her making her jump she quickly looked to the side to see two people sitting there.

"Who, who are you? What do, do you want?" she asked looking up at them as she sniffled.

"We just want to talk," the other said without a lisp unlike his friend. Rin swallowed before standing up.

"I have to go my friends are waiting for you," she said backing up before they ran at her. Rin screamed as unfamiliar hands wrapped around both her arms. Her screams were muffled by the wind and the sound of the trees blowing. To think the world could ever turn on her in such away. Rin struggled her hardest as she stomped on one of their foot and then elbowed the other in the nose making both release for a moment as she ran for word feeling the world push her down. What had she done to deserve it? What she done to make the world give her the cold shoulder and stop her screams from being heard. Rin felt hands grip into her hair yanking her back like a yoyo. She screamed in pain as she flew back onto the ground. Rin looked at the ground before slowly looking up at them. She let a tear roll down her face knowing she was falling apart, and this was her consequence. Rin felt the one with the lips grip her shoulders lifting her up. He grabbed her by the hair dragging her along painfully before she had even fully gotten up.

---

"Rin should be back by now," Sesshomaru said looking up at the sky deep in thought.

"I wonder where that child is," Jaken said dusting his hands off as Ah-un finished his meal.

"Something doesn't feel right," Sesshomaru said looking to where he had left in anger, 'why am I always so prideful?'

"She never takes so long. Should I look for her my lord?" Jaken asked standing up. Sesshomaru looked at Jaken before standing up.

"She'd be killed if she needed help and it was you who came to help her," Sesshomaru said walking casually off to the woods. Jaken crossed his arms angry his lord underestimated his powers especially when it came to his Rin's life. Sesshomaru waited until he was a good distance to start running looking for her sweet scent that he couldn't find anywhere, 'oh please Rin where are you,' his heart dropped when he heard a muffled scream. He quickly ran off into the direction his feet unable to out beat the beat of his racing heart. Sesshomaru could smell the smell of tears in the air, Rin's tears. All the horrible things possible were running through his mind.

"Get off!" she screamed trying to push one of the guys off as the guy without the lisp laughed in amusement as his friend tried kissing on her neck. She kept pushing him hoping he'd give up, but instead she got a slap to the face. Rin screamed as he was ripped off. Rin saw a flash of white and whips slashing through the man on the grounds turning him into nothing. The other growled before transforming making Rin gasped. Sesshomaru just laughed as if it were nothing. Sesshomaru looked at Rin. Rin stood against the tree nervously touching her chest feeling her heart beating. Sesshomaru pulled out his sword Tokijin and was ready. The man spat fire at him as Sesshomaru stood their not effected by the blow. Sesshomaru was surprised when his opponent blocked his attack. Sesshomaru was surprised thinking it a mere small demon cruising for a bruising. Sesshomaru laughed a cold laugh.

"You may not know me but I know you lord of the Western Land," the creature said standing there. It's true form you could tell was not it's demon form.

"Who are you?" Sesshomaru asked as if it really didn't matter. Rin swallowed nervously.

"Do you think this was a mere coincidence? Oh no I was just lucky enough to run into the fool you killed. A stupid drunk unable to see through my spell," the man said a deep wicked voice booming, "and we got so lucky to find a tiny girl… and not just a girl. Your girl. That pathetic human, surprising she actually fought back with her puny humanly attacks. I would have killed her on the spot but I figured the smell of fear and tears would bring you before the smell of blood would. Besides what use is she to you dead? Just to think this stupid human was a trap for you."

"Lord Sesshomaru… I'm so sorry I didn't know," Rin cried making Sesshomaru's heart beat wildly in his chest.

"Silence Rin just wait for me. This won't take long," Sesshomaru said pulling his sword from the ground. Rin shuttered before backing into the tree the wind blowing her hair in her face.

"Sooryuha!" Sesshomaru yelled flinging his sword before the enemy lifted his sword sucking in the spell. Sesshomaru looked at him with curiosity. Sesshomaru then attacked the man sword against sword, steel against steel. The man knowing he was losing to Sesshomaru quickly transformed into a giant lion. Sesshomaru transformed into his demon self-biting the other in the neck. Both rolled sinking their vicious poisonous teeth into one another. Rin coughed covering her mouth the fumes of the poison slowly leaking around. Rin backed up feeling slightly dizzy. She walked away wanting to watch so she climbed the nearest clime able tree. Sesshomaru was so glorious it was nothing for him, this opponent was nothing but easy pray. Sesshomaru grabbed a hold of it by the neck ripping its flesh before flinging it across the ground making the earth shake. The man transformed breathing heavily covered in his own blood. He pulled his sword out and pointed it at Sesshomaru smiling wickedly, "your no match for me."

"I was told I might not by the one who sent me. So he gave me something that would help if I were to lose," he said still holding the sword towards him. Sesshomaru looked at him curiously.

"Who sent you?" Sesshomaru asked seriously but calmly making the guy laugh.

"Oh there will be others, I won't be the last… Kayru!" He yelled sending a blast of liquid mixed with Sesshomaru's Sooryuha. He blocked his attack but the liquid strengthened it and did something to Sesshomaru as the sword blew up blowing up the carrier. Rin screamed before jumping out of the tree. Sesshomaru fell to his knees feeling his body becoming paralyzed. Rin shook as she slid across the floor on her knees not caring she was ruining her brand new kimono. Rin grabbed him before he fell over. Rin gasped crying as she held his head to his chest. She couldn't move him what was she suppose to do? Rin looked around before dragging him to a spot she could lay him. Rin quickly searched for all the herbs she could find hoping the forest carried the ones she needed. She was in luck barely but she managed to find many different herbs that could possibly help.

Rin nervously unlatched his armor and took off his fur her hands shakily as he watched her. She had him propped up against a tree. Rin searched for the source of the problem and found a tiny shard in the side of his neck that his hair had been hiding. Rin grabbed it and closed her eyes before ripping it from his cold flesh. The smell of blood filled their noses, and blood spilled onto his clothing and in his hair. She quickly ripped off some of her kimono and placed it onto the spot. Rin then placed licked a funny looking leaf and placed it on his neck. It stuck to his neck so she could slow the bleeding while she cut and crushed the herbs. Rin let out a soft noise that had told him she was crying. She closed her mouth trying to control her breathing. She quickly pulled the leaf off staring at the stick blood that was resolving to chunks. Her hand flew to her mouth; he had in fact been poisoned. She quickly got to work placing them all on his neck before biting her neck knowing what she had to do. She looked at him with his eyes closed; she was losing him… the coldness in his hands told her of it. She shook nervously as she moved his hair revealing the wound more.

'Stop being a baby Rin, your lord needs you right now. Act like an adult… be brave for him,' Rin thought to herself before breathing heavily. She bent down as she placed her hair behind her ears. Her lips met his skin and though he wasn't conscious he could feel it and he knew it was Rin. A tiny smile crept on his face. She nervously began to suck on his wound trying to get the poison out. She'd spit the icky purple stuff out that was mixed with his blood. She went back down her lips meeting the soft broken skin on his neck as she used her fingers to apply pressure making it harder for the poison to spread anymore then it had. Rin spat the mouthful of blood and poison out. It burnt her lips and mouth. She could feel it burning her gentle and soft lips. She didn't care she wasn't stopping until he awoke again. She jumped when he jumped awake making her nearly swallow his blood with the poison in it. She coughed and sputtered it flying out of her mouth burning her throat. Sesshomaru looked at her and touched his neck slowly.

'Was she trying to save me by sucking the poison from my neck?' he asked himself slightly astounded. Feelings were rushing through him that he hadn't felt. He looked at her as she coughed and sputtered trying to get the rest out before wiping her mouth smearing the blood. Purple stuff lay across her the ground and her dress as he looked at her. He softly gasped, "Rin…"

"Sesshomaru," she said quickly turning around so he wouldn't see her tears. She tried to control her breathing but he could hear her hyperventilating from trying to stop her tears.

"Rin don't be ashamed to be afraid," he said not realizing that she was afraid for him, "you did your best and you unselfishly saved me."

"But you nearly died I was more then afraid… I was heartbroken," she whispered the last part as if it were a secret she didn't even want him to know. She looked picked up the rest of the herbs feeling her body tremble as she turned around not looking him in the eyes. Sesshomaru couldn't take his eyes off her that moment. He may not have been conscious but he could feel her lips on his and he knew it was now a desire to have again. He'd probably do anything to have it… to have her. Right there right then. She stopped when she was in front of him still on her knees. He looked on her with that same emotionless expression but the look in his eyes were different. Rin curiously prodded at them with her own eyes. She touched the grindy paste and gently pushed it into his wound. He winced a little, but if only she knew that he barely felt any pain and it was her touch she wouldn't have asked…

"Does it hurt at all?" Rin asked biting her lip as that damn tear disobediently fell from her eye.

"I assure you I'll live," he said plainly not blinking. Rin swallowed applying more on before fiddling with her ripped, dirty, and torn kimono.

"Sesshomaru I am too much of a burden. I nearly got you killed," Rin said looking at the ground letting her long hair gracefully fall over her shoulder. His hand slowly moved up to touch her hair; he could feel his body slowly take over being helped by Rin's medicine. Rin looked at the hand gently gliding through her hair. So gently his hand grazed her face sending the chills down her back.

"Your no burden," he said softly making her jaw tense as she slowly looked up into his eyes. Her heart began beating faster as her breath got shallower, "you give me something I never had…"

"What could the lord of the western land not already have that I could give?" Rin asked softly here eyes slowly meeting his as hand gently lay on her cheek.

"Happiness," he said softly before slowly moving forward. Rin nervously sat there knowing it was wrong but she wanted it so bad. She felt his lips gently push against hers as his hand moved from her cheek to the back of her neck. His kisses got a little deeper making Rin realize she shouldn't.

"I can't," Rin said pulling away and looking down. He looked at her with confusion; she was the first to ever turn him down. Was this not what she wanted?

"Why not?" Sesshomaru asked into much pain to be angry. He looked at her with eyes she felt were not his as she slumped trying to ignore the buzzing of the crickets and the trees swaying in the deep nights breeze. Rin bit her lip trying to keep it under control, "Are you afraid it isn't me? Because it is Rin."

"No I know it is you, I just don't understand why now. Not to mention… tomorrow you won't remember you ever said this. This secret will be stuck with me," Rin said looking at him with deep sorrow.

"I could never forget Rin, nothing could make me forget," he said touching her face. She couldn't help but fall victim to him, her hand flew to his in attempt to remove it but she couldn't bear to. Her hand gently rested on his. He replaced her cheek with her hand as he gently kissed trails on it, "I've been fighting it for so long Rin. I just wish I would have known this was what I was fighting from. These feelings I feel are almost heart wrenching. Please… I never thought I'd admit to feeling any pain but the further you are from me the more pain I feel."

"Sesshomaru it isn't fair," she said looking at him, "the medicine I gave you is one of the strongest. It makes normal humans forget things for months but cures them instantly. But you are stronger then that so you'll forget the rest of the night. Maybe even a couple of hours prior to it you never can tell."

"See you said you never can tell maybe I'll remember," he said kissing her hand and smelling her hair. Rin looked up at him curious if he would. Rin bit her as he moved forward a little Rin met him half way. Their kisses were so soft and gently. His hand found her face mesmerizing her lips, as he slowly found away to get his tongue inside her mouth. She timidly met his with hers. Rin felt him sit straight so his body was against hers. He could feel her chest against his and he felt as if he wouldn't be able to control it. He began to kiss down her neck softly nipping at her skin. Rin had a feeling she would be making a mistake but she loved him. She did and at that moment she knew she did. Because she just decided she was willing to do anything for him… anything. He softly pushed her down as her arms wrapped around his neck. He felt a sharp pain and stopped nearly falling over. Rin looked up before quickly sitting up straight. She helped him lay down.

"Your still not well," she said realizing something was wrong with his side. She look noticed a tare and saw another tiny green shard thing. It was tiny though but she managed to grab it. He smiled feeling her hand down by his waist before pulling it out making him twitch, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," he said looking at her a little disappointed the moment had been killed, "perhaps this is meant for another time when you are fully prepared."

"Hmmm," she said smiling at him laying down beside him

"Lay… close to me Rin," he said looking at the girl was laying beside him.

"I am laying next to you," Rin said propping herself up so her upper torso was un in the air and the rest of her body was laying straight.

"I know you are, but lay with me… lay on me," he said softly never thinking he'd want anyone to do that. Rin realized it could be the only chance she'd ever have with him. She scooted closer squeezing into the crevasse of his body as her head lay on his chest. His arm curled around her protectively, "I'll always protect you with my life."

"I know," Rin said with a smile, "because you're a better person that anyone believes. Does this hurt at all? Are you uncomfortable at all?

"No Rin I am not," he lied feeling pain all over. He didn't care it felt better to have her their and causing more pain to his body which would heal, then to have her lie anywhere else and have her causing permanent pain to his heart. He slowly drifted off to sleep as Rin looked up at him tracing the lines on his broad chest. She sighed before comfortably falling asleep.

Morning came and with it the sound of a hundred birds, and the yells of Jaken. Sesshomaru stirred feeling the hot beams of sun on his face. He felt this weird pain before looking down to see Rin? Why was Rin laying on him? He looked around him wondering where the hell he was. He looked back down to see Rin on him. He shook her awake a little hardly making her stir and look up at him.

"Rin get off," he said making her look at him before realizing she was right. What a fool… she let herself get wrapped up. Rin got off sitting on her but wiping her eyes, "where am I? What happened? Did I…"

"What are you doing?" she asked as he grabbed her hair tossing it revealing both sides of her neck.

"Did I… did we… what did I do?" he asked looking at her seriously unable to understand. How had he blacked out? Last thing he remembered was them traveling and her being angry.

"You did nothing to me," she said looking down thankful they hadn't gone through with it.

"Then why is your dress torn up and why is it all dirty? And… why am I so sore?" he asked looking around before seeing Jaken walk through the clearance.

"There you guys are!" Jaken said frantically as he saw the heartbreak in Rin's eyes he knew something had to have happened. Rin jumped up and stormed back to camp afraid of them seeing her tears, "lord Sesshomaru what happened last night?"

"None of your business," Sesshomaru said grumply as he popped Jaken in the head on the way back to camp. What had happened? What did he say? What secrets did he give awayt hat he'd have to deny? And why couldn't he remember? What happened?

Authors note: Sorry to leave it there but truly I must go lol! I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG. Lmao I totally made it so he is messing with her mind because right now that is what I can relate to. Damn that boy messing with my head grr never mind you don't need to hear me rant and rave. I am off to the coast people's so thanks. I won't re read this chapter I'm just gunna put it up!


	4. Forever means forever

Authors note- Yepsters I am back! How is everyone? Sorry it has taken this long once again to work on another chapter, my other computer crashed so we had to by another one… my family goes through computers like they go through bread. Well enough of my gibber jabbering on with the story.

Chapter 4- Forever

Sesshomaru and Rin did not talk while they packed up camp. Jaken grilled Rin with questions, and her not wanting to lie to him told him everything EXCEPT for the part about Sesshomaru and her. Rin couldn't help but watch Sesshomaru as he placed all the stuff on Ah-un'a back. Rin idolized him as she memorized every strand of silvery hair, and every swirl in his golden yellow amber eyes.

"What are you looking at Rin?" Sesshomaru asked coldly making Rin jump out of her day dream.

"Nothing lord Sesshomaru," she said swallowing nervously before spinning around to grab one more bag and running after them as they started walking. And there it was the dreadful castle, the place where she spent her time waiting for her lord to come home and take her on another adventure. The group walked no one talking as they found the dirt path leading them to their final destination. Rin wanted to stop and pick some flowers, but they were on a deadline Sesshomaru still had to pack his things for the leave. Sesshomaru snuck a peak back to see Rin dazing off at the flower fields. A smile crossed his face before he turned off. If only she knew that he could not run anymore, that he wanted to give himself to her… that he was sorry. He was so sorry he had to leave her, if only she knew that heart he had been given by her. He hated being so stubborn, so prideful, so frightened… him? Frightened? What had happened? Was this his fathers doing? Was his father some were around working this out as a lesson for his son? Was this his fathers greater plan? Did he know he'd fall down before a human? That he would love such a feeble creature?

"Jaken?" Sesshomaru said not looking at Jaken.

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru-Sama," Jaken asked as Rin trailed behind them guiding Ah-Un.

"I have some important things to attend to when we return to the castle. I need my space so could you keep Rin occupied?" Sesshomaru asked instead of demanded for once.

"Well… ye… yes Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken said surprised that Sesshomaru did not demand it but asked it. This was not like his lord, "are you alright lord…"

"Do not question me if you do not want me to hurt you," Sesshomaru said walking faster making Jaken swallow nervously.

"What is wrong with our lord?" Jaken asked Rin as he walked beside her, "he seems so different…"

"Maybe lord Sesshomaru realizes that all we've ever done is helped him… maybe he cares about us," Rin said walking beside Jaken. Jaken snorted a laugh.

"Lord Sesshomaru cares about no one not you not I nor the world," Jaken said making Rin look down sadly, "that is what makes him so powerful Rin you must understand he can never care about anyone but himself. It is time to fantasize about someone else, perhaps another human man?"

"Your right Jaken I do need to think of someone other then him," she said before looking over to him, "but I do not fantasize about him that is just foolish."

"You can hide it from yourself and you might be able to hide it from our lord, but you cannot hide it from me young one," Jaken said looking up at the girl, "how did that happen…"

"Huh?" she asked looking down at Jaken.

"How did you get so tall? You use to be the same as me, my how you have grown Rin," Jaken said letting out a sigh that made her smile, "your growing up."

"I'm still that little girl who use to race you through the fields," she giggled making him smile.

"Yes only I have no chance now," he said not knowing Sesshomaru was ease dropping on their conversation.

"You never had a chance," she laughed. There it was, the laugh he missed. The laugh that brought back memories of her happy years with them.

"What?!" he squawked making her giggle again, "oh you little brat!"

"I always tried to let you win every now and then and yet you still couldn't," she smiled a bit glowing grin that made Jaken smile before sighing again/

"I feel so discouraged," he said dropping his head. Sesshomaru smiled as they closed in on the castle. They walked up the steps and through the golden doors. Rin swallowed nervously as everyone stopped to smile at Rin, she was quite the popular girl. Rin looked over at her beautiful lord as he walked past everyone and straight to his chambers.

--

Rin sat in her room contemplating about everything. She rolled over facing the window which had a beautiful view of the small garden. She wished there were more flowers around there, you had to walk for a little while to get to the field of wild flowers. A thought of Sesshomaru crossed her mind again making her bite her lip as she tried to push it out of her head. She tried to fight back the tears that so wildly threatened her eyes with great harshness.

'Why does he do this to me? Does he not know I am in agony?' she thought to herself as she cuddled with the blanket. A tap at the door made her shoot up and swing the door open, "Lord Sesshomaru?!"

"Sorry Rin," the little green Jaken said looking up at her, "you've grown so tall Rin."

"What do you want?" Rin asked slumping down before climbing back into her bed.

"Get up out of bed Rin it is still a bright day out and you look a fright now. Our lord has an announcement to make," Jaken said looking at the girl, "brush your hair fix your clothes move it child."

"I already know is announcement and I cannot bare to hear it again," Rin said burying her head into the pillow.

"Stop being foolish he requests that we all be there," Jaken said ignoring the signs of heart break.

"He is going to announce he is leaving us and he is taking a mate," Rin said her words muffled by the cotton fabric, "constantly I ignore this pain consuming me, only this time Jaken it cuts too deep."

"Rin child," Jaken said sitting on the bed beside her, "do not show him this weakness, he has never had a place for humans yet he has excepted you as one of us… I have grown to be fond of you and do not wish to see you sent away Rin. He is our lord and we will abide what he says even if it hurts us or kills us."

"I know," she said sitting up as she looked at herself in the mirror, "I will be on my way down."

"That's a good girl Rin," Jaken said before walking out of the door. Rin readied herself before she walked the door and down to the main room in the giant castle. Sesshomaru sat at the head of the table beside a youkai female with golden hair. She was beautiful she was exquisite and Rin knew she had no chance. The way he held Rin, the way he touched her face, the way he looked into her eyes, and Rin knew that girl was going to be stealing her kisses from him, her looks from him, and stealing her love from him. Though Sesshomaru did not remember that night, Rin had not forgotten. It tormented her, boiled her blood, tortured her soul, and tore apart her heart.

Sesshomaru spoke with power and elegance, without falter, complete perfection his facial features never changing as he explained his up coming absence as well the marriage that would be taking place when he got back. He placed his future mate in charge while he was away. Rin did not smile once that night, the very next day Sesshomaru would be leaving. Rin stood up walking out once lunch was over, she began her long walk to the flower field. Sesshomaru watched her leave and waited a few moments before getting up himself to follow her. Rin let her hands glide across the top of the tall grass as she finally entered the meadow. Slowly making his way Sesshomaru watched her as she fell to her knees looking up at the stars. The first one fell and with that tear the rain began to fall. A large gust of wind swept through the field sending some stray wild flowers at her as her long black hair danced along with the simple melody.

'I hate to leave her behind,' Sesshomaru said the wind catching his hair as well and Rin had a feeling to look behind her. There at the beginning of the field stood her lord elegant and mesmerizing. Was she crying? He took a step into the field the rain still pouring down. His steps were light as if he barely touched the ground the long grass swayed as if almost they wanted to touch him. Rin hated how beautiful her lord was, she was his servant… and nothing more. And a faithful servant that Rin had and always would be.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin said holding a tiny pastel flower in her tiny hands as he stopped a foot away from her. He took it from her hand and placed it in her ear.

'If only I could say to you the things I won't let myself think,' he thought just looking at her.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked as he placed it in her ear. She swallowed placing her hands to her chest looking up into his golden amber eyes. He removed his hand slowly feeling the chill of fall nipping at his once arm, "what is on your mind?"

"Why do you follow so faithfully Rin? Never has your loyalty flailed… unlike many have. So willingly you give your human mortality to serve youkai, creature's that will… a creature that could turn on you at any moment, that will live for eternity and see you as so small. Why?"

"Your not a creature to me Sesshomaru. You've showed kindness to me that no other human or youkai have shown me. I will follow you anywhere," Rin said giving off that grin that he so desperately loved. He wanted to touch her lips, for so long now desires and things that shouldn't be in his heart a heart before he never had slowly popped up out of no where like weeds in the summer time. It would have driven him mad if he had thought about them at all really.

"Why are you trembling?" Sesshomaru asked touching a strand of her hair, "do you not mean what you say to me?"

"Of course lord Sesshomaru I mean every word. Lord Sesshomaru when I was missing you were so scared… but no one else cared. And after every time I awake from a dream I fear, cause I know your leaving. I am afraid of the day you leave," Rin said feeling herself tremble.

"You are strong Rin, you've grown up strong," he said looking down at her wondering what was running through her mind.

"Sesshomaru," she said looking at him with sweet beautiful doe like teary eyes, "I'm strong on the surface not all the way through. I've never been perfect, and I know you know that."

"Rin," he gasped swallowing hard wanting to be cold and distant like usual. But to both their surprise his hands gripped her shoulders pulling her forcefully into his arms, "I keep forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well. Don't be afraid Rin I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made Rin. I want you to know Rin… When my time comes forget the wrong that I've done help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Just please don't resent me and when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory."

"Sesshomaru," she said her hands squeezing his back, "please take me with you…"

"No one can save me from myself, and no one can save me but myself," he said his fingers sliding through her silky black hair.

"I can't imagine me without you," she said her grip on him tightening making him sigh, "because of you my life is worth while. I can't… I cant imagine. It was like you heard me calling, and you set me free. When I found you I was blessed and I will never leave you lord Sesshomaru, I need you…"

"Enough Rin I told you not to get so attached to me," he said gritting his teeth, "but… Rin, I am glad you have. But I cannot endanger your life by taking you. If you are good to your promise on never leaving me… then wait here for me and never leave, never even if I do not make it back. This Sesshomaru never fails, but promise Rin if this Sesshomaru doesn't make it back to you that you will stay and I will live on through you."

"I promise my lord," she said as he pried her arms from around his waist. He looked down at her with a smile.

"You've always been a good girl and done what you were told," Sesshomaru said looking at her not sure what to say to her, he knew he was hurting but there was nothing he could do. He had to leave and there was no turning back, but he really did not want to leave her. Though he wished he could take her with him, he couldn't he could not endanger her anymore then he already had, "but I cannot put you into anymore danger. Without me asking you've always followed faithfully and showed true loyalty in which is a very respectable act. Which is why I cannot ask you to follow me anymore, especially into such a dangerous mission Rin… as your lord I must think of your safety as well the safety of the other around me. You must stay here and await Jaken and my return. Rin…"

"Yes?" Rin asked looking into his eyes but the proud youkai would not fall victim to his fathers same distasteful habits. He would not care for this human more then a mere subject, a friend was even to much to admit to himself yet he did consider her such.

"I do not need to…" he was going to insult her as he usually did to make himself feel better but something in her eyes made his heart beat faster washing away his harmful words. No longer was that Sesshomaru the same cold hearted Sesshomaru he was before he met Rin. After he paused for a moment he gained control of his voice enough to speak, "I must go pack my things. Do not stay out to long Rin, Jaken will not be happy if he has to come looking for you."

"I am not a child anymore lord Sesshomaru," she said slightly irritated with his threat.

"Then act grownup Rin and do as you are told and there will be no need to teach you as such," he said as he slowly walked away. She watched him in the distance with a pout as he made his way back to the castle. He knew she was growing up, he noticed every day the way she changed… especially physically. Sometimes he couldn't even bare to look at her, and other days he just tried to remember her as little Rin.

'I will show him how grownup I have become,' Rin thought as she stood there in the breeze her hand to her chest as she gripped the necklace that hid under her kimono, 'I will follow you lord Sesshomaru… I will follow you and show you. I will never be left behind. Lord Sesshomaru I said I would be with you forever, and forever it is.'

Authors note: I know this took ages for me to get up… but better late then never? I have ideas for where it is going to go, but extra ideas never go un-appreciated. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I am sorry for the wait!


	5. The rivalry

Authors note- Hello here is another chapter! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!!!!!!

Disclaimer- I do not own the Inuyasha series! I only own the plot of THIS story… lol! Kind criticism allowed thanks!

P.S- This chapter has a theme song, the theme song will be said through her mentally. Maybe even out spoken.

Chapter 5- The rivalry 

Rin laid on her soft cozy bed. The world seemed to be so short, and yet it seemed so long when Sesshomaru was away. Not only did she have to deal with him leaving… but she had to deal with his new mate. The woman he'd take as his when he returned, for once she wished that he would not return… and she would be with him when he did not return. She rolled over onto her side so she could let out a sigh. What was she going to do? How would she manage to do this? Ah-Un was off somewhere else, and they would be able to sense the magical creature if she were to use him. What was she going to do?

Rin sat up and stared out at the leaves falling from the trees surrounding the castle. What a beautiful place her "home" was, if she had never met Lord Sesshomru and Master Jaken she would most likely be dead by now. Rin's eyes lowered to the small garden that was built for Rin, Sesshomaru walked out into the sunlight. A smile came to her face as she opened the stained glass window. Her smile faded when a woman with golden hair walked out, it was his future mate. Rin felt her heart nearly drop as the two conversed. Sesshomaru's mouth rarely moved, it was mostly the female youkai speaking.

'_Lord Sesshomaru why her?' _Rin thought backing away from the window. Sesshomaru turned to look at her window to see a flicker of her long graceful black hair. Sesshomaru watched the window a moment hoping she'd look at once more. He was supposed to be leaving soon, '_he smiled at her… it was small and faint, but there was a smile. The way he looked at her, yes she is beautiful… but she only wants to be queen she doesn't want him for him.'_

Rin sighed sitting on her bed hugging her fluffy pillow. What a life she was give, a life she was allowed to live. She was the only human anywhere around for miles and miles. Sesshomaru hated humans, yet he allowed her to be there with him. She should feel lucky shouldn't she? So why didn't she? Why was she so miserable? Was she in love with her lord? For the very thought of him with any other woman human, hanyou, or youkai made her sick.

'_Sesshomaru-sama… she can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile, cause only I've seen it's real wrath. Does your eyes light up when she walks by like mine lights up when you are anywhere around. You cant see me wanting you the way I do, but you are everything to me,' _she imagined herself talking to Sesshomaru in her head. Her eyes squeezed shut very tight_, 'there is fire inside of him, that can't help but shine through. She is never going to see the light, no matter what he does. All I think about is how to make him think of me, and everything we could be. I wish I could show him she don't even know him, she will never love him like I want to. But he just sees right through me, if he only knew me we could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable… instead of just invisible. Like shadows in a faded light, I am invisible. I just want to look in his eyes and make him realize…I just want to show him she doesn't even know him, to let me love him, let me want you. She can't even see the way your eyes light up when you smile..." _

"Rin," Jaken said interrupting her thoughts. She shot up quickly biting her lip as she ran to the door. Jaken peered up at the girl who like his master towered over him, '_how slender and tall our little Rin has grown.'_

"Yes Master Jaken," Rin said without a smile. Why was she so melancholy? What held back that beautiful smile that he and his lord (whether he admit it or not) loved.

"Lord Sesshomaru and I will be taken our leave soon. Are you going to be a good girl and come wish us off?" Jaken asked giving her that look. Rin just shrunk and nodded. She slowly followed behind Jaken feeling her heart pound harder and more violently with each step, almost as like she was sinking into quick sand. Rin followed down the spiraling staircase and out through the door. Sesshomaru stood surrounded by all kinds of youkai. Rin walked down in-between the two lines of youkai towards her lord.

"Jaken are you ready?" Sesshomaru asked plainly his eyes resting on Rin. How could this be… that his heart hurt less to look on her then to look away? There should be no heart beating in his chest, why could he not rip it out? Why did the fact that no smile sat on Rin's face bother him so? The youkai with the golden hair sat looking down from a window high up in the castle staring at the connection between Rin and Sesshomaru. That human girl was going to get in her way, she was could not allow anyone to take away her future spot as queen. She would be a queen, and destroy anything in her way.

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru-sama," Jaken squeaked holding onto his staff tightly, "Rin has come to wish us off."

"I see," Sesshomaru said looking from the little toad like youkai to the tall human girl standing in front of him. Her hand lifted up to her chest where she squeezed her kimono she could feel the outlines of the beautiful necklace given to her by her lord, "behave yourself while I'm gone Rin."

"Yes lord Sesshomaru," Rin said staring at him blinking to hold back tears.

"Farewell," he said before turning around his graceful silvery white hair flowed to its rightful place. Rin bit her lip trying to swallow the lump in her chest. How could Rin live without him. Rin sat watching as her lord gracefully walked away with Jaken running after him. When he was a little ways away and everyone started piling back into the castle she couldn't take it any longer and she took off after him,

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she cried out as loud as possible making Sesshomaru stop as she ran as fast as her long legs would carry her. He peered over his shoulder watching her run to him her arms reaching out. He slowly turned nearly being knocked over by the weight of the girl as she leaped into his arms, "you are so selfish Lord Sesshomaru!"

"RIN!" Jaken squeaked turning in circles in disbelief of what the girl was doing. She was hugging lord Sesshomaru! And called him selfish! Jaken grabbed the girl's kimono trying to pry her off of Sesshomaru.

"Jaken go ahead of me, I will be behind you shortly," Sesshomaru said his arms dangling as she squeezed him tight not letting go. Jaken hesitated a moment, "NOW!!!"

"Yes my lord!" he squeaked running out of there. Sesshomaru grabbed the small woman's shoulders but she would not let go. What was he supposed to do? He sighed before slowly wrapping his arms around her back surprising her. She looked up at him but he would not look down at her. Though he felt a sudden relief and comfort with her in his arms, he no longer felt that tiny hint of fear.

"Rin," he said softly staring off at his castle. Rin slowly loosened her grip before letting go.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she said as he slowly looked down at her with a simple expression.

"Why do you say I am selfish Rin?" he asked with curiosity, "what did I do that made you be brave enough to call this Sesshomaru selfish?"

"You leave me here! You take master Jaken and your leaving!" she said crying into her hands. Why was she crying, did she care that much, "I do not want to be without you!"

"Rin?" he gasped the look on his face was a look of utter shock, "Rin I must go. I would be selfish to take you. I care not for my life nor Jaken's… but yours I do so how does that make me selfish. To want to protect you…"

"Because you may not care for your life or Master Jaken's! BUT I DO!" she yelled silencing Sesshomaru. He stood there looking at Rin for a moment, how she had grown up… and though she was still the same joyful obedient Rin she had also gained a mind of her own. Rin ripped the necklace from her neck shocking Sesshomaru, "this is one of the only possessions that have ever meant to world to me Sesshomaru-sama. I give it to you to protect you, now you have to return… I expect this back one day soon."

"Rin?" he asked looking at her almost in shock, "keep it I gave it to you it's yours you love it."

"Sesshomaru my lord take it with you as a reminder of me. Bring it back to me if you know I love it. I will feel better if you keep it, keep it safe for me. Please," she said looking up at him. How could he say no to her request? Better yet how could he say no to the look she gave him. Rin smiled when he placed it inside his kimono, "you have a reason to come back. A reason to live. That necklace."

"You," he said catching her off guard, "now go back Rin. I am leaving, do not get in my way again."

"Yes lord Sesshomaru," she said smiling at him, her smile made him glance back once more to see it before he took off on his long journey. Rin stood there as Sesshomaru stopped at the top of the tall hill to look back on Rin once more who stood there in the cold autumn breeze hoping for his figure to never leave. He once more turned and went down the hill disappearing from Rin's sight. She let out a soft sigh before turning to head back to the castle. When Rin got into the castle she felt very out of place and unnatural without Jaken or her lord. Rin saw the golden haired youkai walk down the stairs with the fakest of fake smiles.

"Rin… right?" the woman said as she elegantly stopped. She was so beautiful her defined face, curvy yet slender body, and long golden hair that hid her long ears.

"Yes," Rin said shutting the door behind her. She could feel the dark energy the mischievous energy pulsing from the one who would be the mate of Sesshomaru.

"Hmmm," she said finishing taking her last step, "you adore your lord don't you?"

"Excuse me?" Rin asked unprepared for the question, "I see the way you look at him… Rin."

"Sesshomaru is my lord and I've been with him for a very long time. You know nothing of him," Rin said glaring at her. If only she knew how deadly this woman was.

"I don't need to know anything other then humans belong with humans. Youkai have no place for humans, and he has no place for you. If it wasn't for that little squirt Jaken wanting you around you would be gone by now," the girl said her beautiful face no longer beautiful but one of mischief and devilry.

"That is where you are wrong, master Jaken couldn't stand me when I was first around. I knew he would grow to love me, it was Sesshomaru-sama who decided to keep me around against Jaken's protests," Rin said glaring at her.

"Do not stand in my way you little wench," the girl glared, "there is no room for you here."

"There is no room for you," Rin said standing her ground, "you will never be in his heart."

"I don't care if I am in his heart, it is his bed I will be in… and on the throne," the female youkai said with a mischievous smile.

"What are you planning to do to my home?" Rin asked seeing past her "perfect" exterior.

"Human child this is not your home," she said walking past Rin. She stopped for a moment to look at Rin, "anymore. Leave, leave and do not every come back… if you don't leave I'll get rid of you myself."

'_What could she mean?_' Rin thought to herself as the female youkai gracefully disappeared. Rin swallowed feeling a sense of hopelessness. She then knew from that moment she had to leave. She knew from the look of hatred in her eyes, she would surely kill Rin… she was right without Sesshomaru or Jaken that was no longer her home. Sesshomaru brought in another woman and the place had been over taken she must flee. Rin ran upstairs to her room rummaging through her clothes. She grabbed one of her largest traveling bags and stuffed it with her traveling kimono she had no time to change and one of her traveling outfits for when it was cold. She snuck downstairs with speed and raided the pantries grabbing all foods that would last her long as well as filling up some animal skins and little water carriers. She packed it all on her back with speed as she quickly ate so that she could leave with a full stomach.

It was dark and cold when Rin took off down the cold dirt road towards the nearest human village. She would go in search of Ah-Un he wasn't too far off before going in search of Sesshomaru and Jaken. In the nearest village she would obtain herself a weapon and a horse to carry her quickly to Ah-Un. It would be a dark, lonely, better yet scary road to find her lord. Where would Rin end up? Would she be able to find Ah-un before she was caught by something worst? Oh the thoughts that ran through poor Rin's scared mind. Would Rin ever see her lord… her Sesshomaru again?


	6. Youkai have dreams too

Authors note- Sorry you guys it took me so long to get a new chapter up, the damn internet has been off because well long story and that would take away from this chapter. Anywho I'm back and ready to rock sooooo I'ma gettin' to it. Laters yall!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own Inuyasha or Sesshomaru or Rin or any of the most beloved and most unloved characters in the Inuyasha series. However I own THIS story plot and there ideas and thoughts I control MUWHAA HA HA I am so evil I know. Anywho ENJOY!!!

Chapter 6- A youkai's nightmare 

For two and a half days Rin traveled feeling more and more lonely. Finally she had reached a human village. Thank goodness for her she met with no challenges, she had learned to use her smallness to her advantage as Jaken and her had done many times when she was younger. The village was very lively and busy for it being so early in the day. Rin cautiously walked through the dirt roads as people moved things around setting up there market carts, some even were transferring goods to the next village by wagon.

Rin was entranced with the little village and how hard everyone was working. They were so close to the boarder of Sesshomaru's land, they must have had at least a couple of youkai attacks a month. The forest was plagued with all kinds of nasty creatures, but the world was full of worst. Naraku, though he was in hiding do to a deadly blow from Inuyasha, was still amidst and plotting things. There was a NEW threat out there, one of Naraku's minions everyone assumed… but no one knew.

All that was told was that he was waging a war with the lord of the southern sun. The lord was growing weak of old age and his son was taking the throne, but the young youkai lord was still very inexperienced and with no belief in his son the great youkai lord sent for Sesshomaru the lord of the Western lands. Supposedly Sesshomaru's father had called upon service of the lord of the southern sun and swore that his allegiance would be repaid, but Sesshomaru's father was long dead and so it was Sesshomaru who must take up this task. And now Rin would be left alone to defend for herself.

Rin saw the shop she was looking for and quickly entered the tiny facility. Blades, bows, spears, and all other kinds of creative weaponry laid placed delicately on the walls and in giant well polished wooden cases. Rin was awing in its brilliancy when a squat old man came wobbling out from behind a door. Rin smiled at him sweetly before walking closer to the counter he stood behind.

"My, my, my! What is such a pretty young thing like you doing in a place like this," he squeaked at her. She beamed down at him with a giant smile before replying.

"I am going to find my lord!" she said happily, "he has taken off on a mission to save the world! And I, Rin, am going to go find him… but it is a long and dangerous road. I need something to defend myself, Rin cannot defend herself ALL that well."

"Oh well child then you may need a bow, and maybe a sword? There are many things to choose from take a look around. And I could always give you a quick run through on properly handling them if needed, a demonstration and quick practice before you leave on your long adventurous journey my child."

"Oh no thank you just a quick practice will be fine, I've already taken up classes on the sword and bow a couple years back. I gave up though because lord Ses… I mean my lord would not let me engage in any fights, he over protects Rin too much," Rin said with a smile. The old man patted her hand as he then knew who she was.

"Your lord Sesshomaru's right hand girl aren't you? Yes we know very much about him, since you've been around he's been a little less harder on our wishes. He's kept demons from attacking us so much. He is not a good man, for he is no man at all, but I think that he is not as evil as people claim him to be. But do be more careful about blurting your allegiance to the young lord, that could get you killed or worst taken, tortured and used as leverage against your mighty youkai lord. So is it true, are you only a human girl?" the old man asked with a smile.

"Yes I am just a humble human girl who follows her lord Sesshomaru blindly and faithfully," Rin smiled it felt nice to be free, "by the way is there a place to buy a horse anywhere around?"

"Well yes I sell them myself as well," the old man said before pointing out back to a spot where three horses grazed, "one happens to be quite mysterious. If you can catch him… he's yours for free, you'd be doin' me a favor."

"Really?" Rin squealed with excitement, "which one?!'

"That gray beast there," the old man pointed to one who stood away from the tiny heard. The horse looked dominant and prideful, almost as if no one could touch him. Rin quickly grabbed a sword that she liked and wasn't all too expensive and a small bow and a quiver full of arrows. Rin paid the man some gold coins from her personal stash that she had been saving up to by Sesshomaru something nice when she had enough. But this was more important! Rin walked outside with the older man and walked through the gate into the pasture where the gray horse stood. Rin slowly walked to him catching his attention, he's ears pricked at the sound of her tiny foot steps as she became closer to him.

"Hi," she said to him making him look at her. She put a hand out to touch him but he bolted, Rin nearly fell back into the muddy patch of the pasture. The old man laughed as she sighed before walking up to where he stood again, "I'm not going to hurt you…"

"Watch out!" the old man yelled as the gray stallion reared making Rin fall back into the mud in surprise. With a high pitch scream from Rin, she made a loud splash into the mud as the gray stallion pranced around almost tauntingly. The old man laughed as the stallion stopped at the gate next to him, he patted the gray horses neck as Rin got up feeling complete frustration, "I think he'll let you take him now."

"That was not funny," Rin said as she looked at her muddy kimono. Tears welled in her eyes as she started to cry a little, "Lord Sesshomaru is going to be so angry with me, I ruined the nice kimono he bought me."

"Oh don't cry, look what you did to her you silly beast," the old man said to the gray stallion who turned his head to look back at her. With a snort from the gray horse he turned around and slowly walked to Rin. Once he had reached her he lowered his head. Rin reached out and touched his forelock in shock before putting the halter and rope on him, "I don't think he will be TOO much of a problem for you any longer young one."

"Really?" Rin asked still sniffling. She made sure to walk through the drier part of the pasture with the gray stallion trailing beside her.

"You may stay the night with my wife and I. We will give you a fresh kimono to borrow while she tends to your current one," the old man said still chuckling before wobbling back into his business.

"What shall I do in the mean while?" Rin asked looking at the gray stallion, "where does he go?"

"You must break him in of course! Take a nice little ride around town and get to know each other, you will find that he of all creatures has the most personality. He will look after you, but he will also test you," the old man said grabbing a blanket and tiny packing saddle. Rin looked at it with curiosity she had never ridden a horse before, she had only seen them in passing by villages and admired their beauty. Rin paid close attention as the old man saddled the horse very tight to make sure she did not fall. Rin followed the old man's instructions on how to get on top of the horse. Fear rose in her as she looked down at the ground, this horse was slightly smaller then Ah-un's height so why was she so terrified? "You must turn these reins this way if you wish to go in that direction, and this way if you want to go in that. If you wish to stop pull back and say whoa. But remember to release as soon as he stops otherwise he'll start going backwards…"

"Backwards!" Rin screeched making the gray stallion nervous and start prancing around nearly knocking Rin off, "No! I want off! I want OFF!"

"Don't worry do not show fear, you must be brave young ward of the great lord Sesshomaru. Any horse will treat you the same, you must be strong and go slow. Encourage him when he does things right, and scold him when he does wrong," the old man said very seriously as he patted her ankle.

"Kind of like master Jaken does with me?" Rin asked with a smile, "only master Jaken barely says anything when I do things right, but he always scolds Rin."

"Well Rin you must scold your stallion the same. Oh you must give him a name," the old man chuckled, "I nearly forgotten!"

"Oh um how about Sesshomaru? No… my lord would not be pleased with that. Hmmm how about Sesken after Sesshomaru and Jaken they will never guess it!" Rin said excitedly.

"Very nice," the old man said with a smile, "now go ride… I have costumers to attend to."

"Alright," Rin said timidly as she slowly turned the gray stallion to her left. Very slowly she walked the horse through the town until she got more comfortable and quickened the speed to a fast walk, then a trot, then a very sloppy canter. She would not even attempt a gallop yet! But she practiced all day until she was sore and the sun began to lower into the earth. She rode Sesken back to the weaponry shop before meeting up with the old man. He showed her to his home where she was give something to wear for the night as the old woman washed Rin's kimono and repaired a tare. After a good meal Rin laid in the dark on a small mat rolled on the floor for her as she began to think about her beautiful lord Sesshomaru. She thought to herself, '_I'll be with you again soon lord Sesshomaru. I'll be with you soon, I promise… _'

----

Sesshomaru laid under the stars fiddling with a small weed. He ripped it from the earth and observed the beautiful white flower bud at the tip of the weed. He let out a sigh which turned to frost in the cold autumn air. He twirled the flower between his fingers for a moment before dropping it. He stuck his hand inside his kimono and pulled out the tiny ruby and diamond necklace he had bought for Rin, and she had given to him to return to her. He had to return to her, he had to give it back… he had to see her once more. He had an incentive to not die in this battle, and he was determined that he wouldn't.

'_I promise,'_ Sesshomaru swore he heard Rin's voice somewhere. With haste he sat up and sniffed the air.

'_Rin where are you? What are you doing now?_' Sesshomaru thought as a image appeared in his head, a memory of sort. Her sweet long and defined face, her porcelain skin, her waist long jet black hair waving in the wind, her slender body now full of curves he hadn't imagined she'd gain. He sat watching her as she bent down to pick him some wild flowers as she did every adventure that they went out on. He sniffed the air and swore he could smell the flowers, but no sweet Rin's scent. That's alright he could see her, that's all that could matter. This was HIS imaginary dream… one he fell asleep to.

--Dream--

Sesshomaru walked through the field of flowers making Rin jump and turn to look at him. Rin smiled before straightening up and slowly gliding to him. What an angel his Rin was, his Rin? When did he refer to her as his Rin? It didn't matter it was his dream not reality he could have anything or anyone he wished or desire… yet it was Rin who stood in front of him, and Rin who was making his heart pound wildly.

"You've returned to me Lord Sesshomaru," she said looking up into his fire like amber eyes. She stood there the batch of flowers bunched into her hand, "I couldn't find any that could quite compare to you my lord, so… I picked a bunch of flowers I found most beautiful…"

"Rin," he said his deep voice etched with relief to see she was still the same girl. He pulled out the necklace and placed it in her palm. She looked down at it for a moment before looking up at him, "I've returned for you…"

"But lord Sesshomaru…" she couldn't finish her words a look of terror in her eyes as he grabbed her by the kimono pulling her to him his lips locking with hers. She pulled away looking at him frantically blood covering him as he was transforming into his demon self. The flowers fell from her hand as her hand found her mouth as the dead lay around at his feet blood staining Rin's beautiful flower field, "lord Sesshomaru!"

"Rin?" he asked as he looked around at the dead. Why did she look so terrified of him?

"Lord Sesshomaru no!" she screamed backing away from him, "don't…"

"Rin I…" Sesshomaru lost control of him and he began to transform into his more vicious looking side. Losing complete control of himself he unwillingly walked towards her. She gasped as he grabbed her by her arms his long sharp nails digging into her skin causing blood to roll down her arms.

"Lord Sesshomaru please! Someone help!" Rin screamed trying to pull from him as his lips found hers his long fangs cutting her soft lips. She struggled against the out of control Sesshomaru and nearly got away but his hand found her neck but he had felt something. Two fresh marks on her neck maybe a week or so old. Throwing her hair aside he saw that his Rin had already been marked. Rin looked at him in terror as he pushed her away from him, "Lord Sesshomaru… you were gone so long, I thought you weren't coming home! I loved you Sesshomaru-sama and I still do. Please Lord Sesshomaru…!"

His claws slashed out at her cutting her chest making her fly backwards. Inside he was screaming out to her, so she had chosen another man as long as he was better man? No! She was supposed to remain with him forever, unmarked, untouched… she was his whether he made her completely his if he chose, or she stayed by his side to never have a mate. Was that selfish? It did not matter they were to far in it for it to be any other way she betrayed him… but why? Why would he hurt her like that? Rin lay on the ground in a heap of blood on the top of a mound of bodies. Sesshomaru walked up the pile of dead bodies and looked down at Rin who laid there dieing.

"Kill me, you've already broken my spirit, you've taken my life from me, you strung me along and broke my heart to many times. You kept me around knowing that you ruined my chances at a life a normal human life," Rin said her appearance changing into one of an old woman, "I've loved you Sesshomaru and you've known about it, yet you did nothing but let me fall for my lord. So kill me. Do me a favor and end my life…"

'_No Rin say it isn't so. What have I done?_' Sesshomaru said inside of himself. Was this real? Was this really happening?

"You don't even remember what happened that night in the forest, I've been forced to live with that memory in my heart and head. Kill me Sesshomaru! KILL ME!" she yelled at the raging youkai. He slashed his sharp claws once more ending her life. She was gone. Rin's hand fell off her chest and the necklace slipped from her hand rolling down the hill of dead bodies. Sesshomaru calmed down returning to his normal form as he watched the beautiful necklace disappear down the hill and Rin's body slowly disappeared. Sesshomaru bent down to touch her face once more before standing up and walking away.

--End of dream--

Sesshomaru woke up in a deep sweat wondering if he had done the right thing to leave Rin behind. He shrugged it off before sitting up, he should haven't fallen asleep… it was always to good to be true. He was always having nightmares, they were for weak people… he had to stop falling asleep.

Authors note- Yep I know a little morbid but I thought it made things a little more interesting. I have no ideas to when I will be able to post this chapter! Hopefully I'll be able to… but I don't know. Anywho enjoy! I will try to make next chapter a little more action packed, maybe Rin will find her lord and master Jaken next chapter. But definitely the chapter after that.


	7. State of bliss you think your dreaming

Authors note- I forgot to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews they are what keep me going and motivated people so keep them coming. The more I get the faster and more I want to write. Don't be shy you here? Now enough chit chatting and let's get onto another adventure!

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha sadly but that's alrgight if you've gotten this far I am sure you know that and that is good enough for me thanks!

SMALL SPOILER-

"CAUTION"

A little fluff in this chapter so if you don't like fluff then you don't want to read this chapter.

Chapter 7- The state of bliss you think your dreamin….

Rin woke up with a yawn and a stretch before sitting up. Her bare feet met the cold mat that covered the dirt floor. These poor people were so nice, but many didn't have the luxury of a wooden floor like her lord and many like him. But they were still happy not having the riches and pretty things spoiled people and higher authority had. The little old woman and man had each other and for them that was more then enough, if it came down to it could lord Sesshomaru ever live with her like that? Could he ever love her enough to live like them? It didn't matter he was still her home and it was him and him alone she would follow. There came a startling knock at the door which jolted Rin from her thoughts for a moment. The door squealed open a peek.

"Here you go my lady," the old woman said sticking her arm through the door with Rin's Kimono.

"Why do you call me my lady? You've been so kind to me and shown so much hospitality without any expectations. I am no one of important, so please do not think of me as any more then you," Rin said taking her kimono from the old woman. The old woman smiled behind the door at her husband who was already smiling.

"I see a lot of potential in this one," she whispered to her husband, "well Rin get dressed and ready for breakfast. We must see you off for your long journey to the lord, we've heard news of his location."

"REALLY!?" Rin jumped up running to the door in her nightgown startling the old woman. The old woman jumped before Rin apologized and closed the door dressing herself appropriately.

Rin met them in them where they were eating. She sat down and took up a plate politely. They ate in silence for a moment. Rin knew it was rude to just start talking about things while they were eating their breakfast. She would be polite like her teachers back at the castle taught her. Once everyone was finished the old man looked at Rin.

"Are you sure you want to join your lord, for where he goes is in no way safe especially for a brave young human girl," the old man said his head bouncing from side to side as he talked.

"Wherever my lord is I belong," Rin said very seriously. The old man sighed and nodded.

"I figured that would be your answer. He has headed East maybe three or four days ride away non stop. But in order to catch up you must ride with no more then one nights worth of rest," the old man said to her seriously, "your in luck, your horse just so happens to be born of great endurance and long distance champion breeds."

"Thank you both for all your help but I must find him, if I must ride for a year straight to get to him then that is what I shall do," Rin said hugging them both, "you both have shown me such kindness I shall make sure the lord hears of this. Until I return good tidings and blessings."

"Good luck my child, stay safe," the old woman said handing her another pack of food. She smiled at them on her way out as she grabbed the horse that was already saddled and ready to go. She fastened her new bag on and placed her sword around her waist. The bow she fastened tightly to her back next to her quiver of arrows which were firmly strapped in. She climbed up unto the horse sinking in to the seat comfortably for a minute. Her lord would smell her scent once she neared him, besides she knew where her lord was going… she would at least meet him there.

---

Sesshomaru sighed as he walked through the forest trying to keep himself undetected. He would fly but this was supposed to be a secret meeting between him and the lord of the eastern lands, so he could not be seen in the air where he was most expected. Why did he leave Rin? Now all he wanted to do was turn around, and because he couldn't he got angrier and more violent against poor Jaken who took the beatings faithfully. He knew his lord was miserable without Rin, but Rin was much safer back at the castle… wasn't she?

'I leave and she is always there when I return, she is what this Sesshomaru calls patient,' Sesshomaru thought to himself. He began to wonder what she was doing. He got the strangest feeling, he had this desire to stay in there camp for a day, "Jaken…"

"Yes milord," Jaken said stopping in his tracks. Sesshomaru did not turn to face Jaken like he would Rin.

"We are staying here for today. Rest, recuperate for we are almost there and we will engage in a restless battle. You will need your strength," Sesshomaru said turning to scout the area, 'as will I. That is if I am to keep my promise, and see my Rin again…"

----

Rin stayed on the horse as he thundered through the forest dodging the roots, fallen trees, and stumps that made an obstacle course for the pair. Rin was slowly getting the hang of it, move with him. That's all she had to do was move with him. The horse was starting to break a little bit of a sweat, but he did not give out on her. All morning, day, and evening they rode until she could no longer see. She was weary and sore, and her horse was thirsty and tired. Rin guided him to a brook where he drank thirstily. Rin made him a bowl of grain and oats to eat before he moved to the patches of grass on the forest floor. She looked at her horse who stood guard by a tree. His ears moved forward and back making her laugh. He snorted before looking to her both ears moving forward. He just looked at her making her stop laughing.

"Sorry I didn't mean to laugh, honest," she giggled before the horse snorted and stomped a hoof. She stood up spooking him for a moment. She threw her hand up letting him no there would be no harm. She grabbed her spare blanket and tossed it onto his back, "it is a cold night and even you will get a cold. Get some rest."

Morning came and Rin jumped up realizing she slept in. If it wasn't for her horse nudging her she would have slept the morning away. She grabbed some bread and munched fast before packing up and climbing onto the gray stallion. The horse trotted off and then took off with a burst of speed shaking the earth with his mighty hooves. Rin hung on but paid close attention not wanting get hurt. Rin pulled back on the reins when she saw something large cross them far ahead. She looked behind them and sighed. The horse snorted a warning, but Rin didn't want to lose time. Maybe they could just go quietly and what ever it was wouldn't hear them. She let the horse walk cautiously its head hung low. Rin swallowed nervously gripping and arrow in her hand. She nearly flung off when her horse took off… something had jumped behind them. She screamed gripping the horses neck making him stop so she could climb back on properly. The stallion squealed as it felt Rin being pulled off. Something leapt grabbing her and pulling her down. She hit the floor with a thud.

The stallion began bucking and rearing as little creatures jumped all over him. Rin jumped up grabbing her sword and flinging it cutting through the horde of little demons looking for a meal out of her horse. The horse spun around gloriously as Rin chopped at the demons finally freeing her shaking horse. A large thumping noise came crashing through the large bushes.

"Flesh!" it gurgled pointing at them. Rin held up her sword in warning, "stand down girl I do not desire yours. It is that beast I wish to devour… you may leave with your life but leave the beast."

"Never!" Rin yelled jumping in front of the stallion who snorted in surprise. Rin held her sword up higher.

"Your sword cannot reach high enough to kill me," the demon laughed making Rin smile before dropping her sword, "do you surrender?"

"Nope," Rin said pulling out her bow and firing arrow after arrow quicker then he had expected. The beast fell back in surprise crying in pain before running away. Rin smiled before putting away her bow and picking up her sword. The horse looked at her before slowly walking to her lowering his head. Rin looked at him with a smile before petting his neck, "you alright?"

The horse threw his head up and down his dark gray and white mane flapping around making Rin laugh. Were all horses that cool and smart? Rin walked to him and climbed up and turned him back onto there path where they rode all day and half the night. They finally stopped for dinner and short nap. The horse stood watch as Rin laid trying to sleep. Rin tossed and turned as her dreams of silvery white hair and passionate golden eyes in fields.

--Dream--

Rin sat watching as her lord made his way through the fields of flowers. How did she get there? Her lord smiled at her as he took her in his arms. Rin smiled as she pulled away looking into his deep golden amber eyes, his hand found her cheek before kissing her. A wind blew entwining their hair as one. There was a beating against the earth, trees, and her heart that matched the dance of the dreamy wind. When she pulled away he backed away falling into a pit of dead bodies that laid around him. Rin stared nervously.

"Lord Sesshomaru!!!" Rin screamed running after him the sky filling with red like clouds releasing blood that covered him and her. Rin screamed as a pool of blood began to devour her youkai lord who stood there watching her. Rin cried screaming out…

-End of dream-

Rin was woken up by soft nudges from her horsey friend. Rin tried to hold back the tears she had already been crying. The horse looked at the poor girl concernedly before slowly getting onto his knees and laying down beside her. Rin looked at him with curiosity before laying down on him. It was a little comforting, she felt a little less alone at the moment. This horse was smarter then she had anticipated. Slowly she drifted off into a sleepless dream.

They woke up and ate, packed up and left. Rin was growing weary of travel the days were getting colder and Rin was missing them more and more. If it were not for her stallion she would lose it. Rin really missed lord Sesshomaru. She never felt this way before, this emptiness, like everything she does reminded her of him. Rin began to feel a little frantic and pushed her friend to move faster. They began to grow more as a team. They moved together, thought together, and worked together. They grew a bond together, something she began to rely on during that long and crucial travel. Rin had Sesken at a slow prance through the open field and entering a deep dark forest that gave poor Rin the creeps.

Rin jumped at a starting noise in the distance. The horse stayed calm trying to help her at ease through the dreadfully dark and eerie forest. Rin sniffled nervously before sitting up quickly. The horse snorted with all the confidence the world as he kept his balance. Rin heard something behind her making her look back and see a large shape come at her making her kick her horse. Sesken took off in a canter nearly falling into a tree. Rin didn't look behind her to see if it was near or far. Rin ducked as the horse pounded through the trees like a giant gray machine with a destination to important to miss… life.

Rin stopped by a large drop off looking back and swallowing as the horse trotted in place snorting nervously. Rin breathed nervously trying to stay calm as she looked to her side where someone in white stood watching her. Rin let out a breath as she saw the one she searched for. She pulled back on the reins to keep him still as Sesshomaru stood his eyes wide watching her. This time he thought her scent was still just a figment of her imagination. He took a step forward feeling his heart pound… was this real? And just like that she was gone. But… why did he hear her just scream. Something had knocked her and the horse over… her scent was still there, she was REALLY there.

"RIN!" Sesshomaru yelled running as Rin tumbled down the long hill squished between the earth and the heavy horse which crushed her. She screamed in pain as the horse tried to get her off of him. He managed to jump up in pain a moment tossing her off of him before falling back down. The creature on his back, Rin stopped rolling feeling broken for a moment and fell back. It took the scream of her struggling stallion to make her jump up. He was battling a large wolf like creature which moved it's attention to Rin. Rin closed her eyes defenseless as the beast jumped at her. A large whimper hit her instead of teeth and claws. She opened one eye then another… was it a swift death? No… lord Sesshomaru was battling the creature in it's full form. So ugly and disgusting it smelled as the bleeding horse trotted in front of her defensively. When Sesshomaru finished off the creature he walked over to Rin as the stallion defensively reared at him.

"No Sesken he's not our enemy," Rin said touching the horse making him snort but stand down. Rin looked at Sesshomaru as if it weren't possible, "is it really you?"

"Rin… why are you here?" Sesshomaru asked in a tone not knowing what else to say or do.

"There is nothing I could say to you, nothing I could ever do to make you see… what you mean to me. All the pain, the tears I cried still I never really thought you'd say good bye and now I really know how far you'd go. I know I let you down, but its not like that now… this time I will never let you go. I will be all that you want, and get myself together cause you keep me from falling apart. All my life I will be with you forever, to get you through the day… and make everything okay. I thought that I had everything, I didn't know what life could bring but now I see, honestly," Rin said looking up at him with giant wet brown eyes. He didn't know what to say or do… it was all too soon to fast. So she didn't wait for a response, "cause without you I can't sleep, I'm not going to ever let you leave. Your all I got, your all I want. And without you I don't know what to do, I couldn't ever, ever live a day with out you here with me, do you see? Your all I need."

"Rin," Sesshomaru said looking at her unsure what to say to her, 'this innocence is so brilliant, this moment is perfect… please don't go away, I need you now. I wouldn't change a thing about having her with me… it's the best feeling. So… wait… feeling? Sesshomaru does not have feelings. No… it's beautiful and natural. Do I have feelings?'

"Sesshomaru… are you not happy at all to see me?" she said sinking down sadly and terrified of his words.

"This moment is… please don't go away, Rin… I need you now," he said looking down at her with the same old stubborn expression, "you're the one thing I got right, the only thing I let inside, now I can breathe cause you're here with me again."

"Sesshomaru," she said with a smile as she threw her arms around him. This caught the youkai lord off guard his eyes going wide with the grip of her hug and the feelings in his body.

'What in the world?! Why… or what are these tingly feelings, these feelings of completeness and content?... It's the state of bliss you think your dreaming, it's the happiness your feeling inside you idiot…' he let out a breath before wrapping his arm around her making her smile as she buried her head in his chest. Happiness. That's what it was. That's what it felt like. Happiness. So a youkai can feel it after all… who said he had to admit it to the world?

"Sesshomaru did… you miss me at all?" Rin asked a dangerous question.

"I always needed time on my own Rin, I never thought I'd need you there by me… the days feel like years when I am alone without you by my side," Sesshomaru admitted after looking around to make sure no one was around, "I missed you."

"Lord Sesshomaru…" Rin said looking at him with sweet eyes, "when you walk away I count the steps you take do you see how much I need you. When your gone the pieces of my heart are missing you, when your gone the face I came to know is missing too… when your gone the words I need to hear, to always get me through the day, and make it okay… I miss you. I've never felt this way before everything I do reminded me of you. The clothes you left are still on my floor and they smell just like you, I love the things that you do. I'll give forever, and all I ever wanted was for you to know that everything I do I give my heart and soul. I could hardly breathe cause I needed to feel you there with me…"

"Rin enough, you know we can never…" before Sesshomaru could finish Rin interrupted.

"Please Sesshomaru I do not ask for you to feel the same, simply that you never leave without me again. I will not last if you ever do again," Rin said as he pulled away from her. He touched her face wanting so desperately to kiss her and take her as his… never. He turned to walk away.

"Sesshomaru!" Rin said frantically. Sesshomaru stopped not turning to face her, that way she would not see him smile.

"Forever," he said with kindness making her smile.

"Forever," Rin said softly finally feeling whole. It felt good, to finally be there… to finally be with him again. Her Sesshomaru… and his Rin.

Authors note- Well I hope you enjoyed my very rushed seventh chapter that I wanted a little fluff! They deserve it especially poor Rin, she needs to feel a little loved… and he needs confirmation on his feelings and hers. He's not alone… she's hurting inside to! SO what did YOU think? REVIEWS please… pretty please?


	8. Imprisoned

Chapter 8: Imprisoned…

Authors note Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha or any of these characters however I own the plot of this story and the new character or characters I've thrown in. So I hope you enjoy and keep on reading. AS WELL… thank you to those who have been reading and super thanks to those who have been reviewing! You all rock!

Rin laid there unmercifully as her dreams took over her sleep. Sesshomaru looked over at her a little uncertain for moment as the gray horse lay down protectively beside her. The horse let out a snort before laying his head down waking Rin up. Rin smiled before scooting up closer to his stomach making the horse look up. It seemed he did not sleep after that keeping eye on the camp… and a close one on lord Sesshomaru.

'Filthy beast… why did she bring it along,' Sesshomaru thought as he snarled at it. Perhaps it was too close to Rin for his liking that he had a grudge with a human creature. Perhaps it was the fact that while Sesshomaru was away unable to protect her, this creature had taken his place… and so therefore was the one to lie beside her protectively. Sesshomaru sighed not wanting it to bother him, but what was poor Sesshomaru to do? He could never be with her, but couldn't control his feelings about her and her being with others. She promised him though she would be with him forever, and that meant no one else right? He didn't know… but he had to.

Morning came quicker then Sesshomaru had hoped; the sun shone brightly casting its rays upon the group. But the chill of autumn swept all of its warmth away with a quick and sudden morning breeze. Rin yawned before stretching; she rolled over onto all fours and stood up. The horse slowly got onto two feet before pushing himself off the ground and shaking all the dust off making Rin laugh. Sesshomaru wanted to smile for it was that laugh he had so long missed… she was really back, he was really home.

"Rin are you ready for our travel? It is one that we shall reach the territory within a day or two's time IF we travel quickly, we do not want to be held back… can you keep pace with that thing?" Sesshomaru asked in a very dominant masculine tone. His silvery white hair had shown magnificent under the golden sun. Rin nodded happily before quickly gathering her things and then saddling the gray stallion. She climbed up onto the horse getting herself more comfortable as she placed her feet in the stirrups and sat up straight. How glorious she had looked up there in her normal kimono her long raven black hair blowing in the wind shining like a black pearl as the sun hit it just right.

"Ready lord Sesshomaru," she said with a smile as she pulled her hair back into a pony tail and tied it with an orange bow that matched her orange patterned kimono. Sesshomaru watched her before turning to walk off on his original path. It was with speed he walked, anxiousness to get her out of dangerous territory took over. He forgot that the place he now rushed to get to was the place that would once again separate them… possibly forever. But at least he had a little more time with her, with his Rin, "perhaps we should slow down…"

"Are you tired or is your beast tired?" Sesshomaru said stopping but not turning to face her.

"Neither lord Sesshomaru… but Master Jaken looks awfully tired," Rin said sweetly making him want to cave. NO he would not do that, he had to keep moving he had to get her to safety.

"No," Sesshomaru said simply.

"But my lord…"Rin said before he interrupted her.

"Rin… Do you dare go against what your lord's wishes are?" Sesshomaru asked turning his head to share that he was unhappy with her back talk.

"No Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said a little sadly. The horse seemed to almost glare at the youkai lord, "it's just…"

"Rin," he said in a very stern tone. Rin sighed not wanting to argue for he might send her away once again. She never was able to speak her mind with him, she was always afraid of the consequence. Which if she only knew, would never come for he could never harm her in ANY way? Yeah every now and then he'd get in a rage and he would yell at her, sometimes when she was younger send her to her room. But as she got older mostly he would just raise his voice at her. Sometimes though even though he wasn't angry with her she would get caught in the cross fire of his rage. BUT he ALWAYS apologized to her for it… he couldn't stand to hear the tears she hid behind her crackling voice.

"Jaken," Rin's little voice caught both Sesshomaru's and Jaken's attention. Jaken looked up at her slightly confused as he stumbled to and fro.

"What… wheeze wheeze do you want girl?" Jaken said trying to not pass out. Rin laughed realizing how much she hadn't missed Jaken's smart mouth, but at the same time was thankful to be hearing it.

"Here you go master Jaken," Rin said climbing off the gray beast. The horse looked back at her as if to glare at her. Without any warning she picked up the little green toad like youkai against his protests and placed him on the horse's back.

"Rin get me down… Rin. RINNNNN!" Jaken yelled before crashing into the ground. His little legs couldn't reach the long stirrups. Instead of yelling at her or cursing her, or letting filthy hurtful words spill from his mouth he just stared at her which made Rin feel worst.

"I am sorry Master Jaken," Rin cried before running to his side to dust him off. Rin was caught by surprised when his lips started quivering and a few tears fell down. Sesshomaru himself looked taken back.

"Are you crying Jaken?" Sesshomaru asked in a calm and cool selective tone. Jaken just shook his head no.

"I'm sorry Master Jaken," Rin said feeling even worst. Jaken shook his head no as he looked at her.

"Your back Rin!" he wailed making Rin go into shock and Sesshomaru lowered his eye brows a little.

"Yes Jaken," she said smiling at him as he jumped on her nearly making Sesshomaru go to grab him but after his first step he stopped.

"You're all grown up… it's been such a short time it seems, but you grew up so fast I don't even remember it. There was a time when my legs were as long as yours and now I can't even get my head to reach as high as your hips!" he said trying to catch his cool. Sesshomaru sighed finally noticing that Jaken was right… Rin was a woman after all even though her kimonos were baggy enough to hide most of her womanly curves… it could not stunt her growth or her womanly feelings. She had a heart, and his was cold… although it was only her that slowly defrosted it. But she was growing up… he still remembered when she turned fourteen; a small laugh escaped him making Rin and Jaken look up at him. Rin's stare caught his eyes and he couldn't help going back.

---Flash Back---

"Sesshomaru!" Jaken yelled as he ran through the castle with sweat dripping down his face and a look of terror on his face.

"What is it Jaken?" Sesshomaru asked looking up from his table where papers and maps laid spread out openly, "I am close to finding Naraku's hidden fortress… so this better be important."

"Rin and I were in the field just off the boarder of our city…" before he could finish Sesshomaru was up and out of his chair and out the door. His heart beat wildly as he thought of beating Jaken for leaving her alone in danger. If she died… there she was, "Rin!"

"Sesshomaru!" she yelled sitting on the ground tears just flying from her little face. He stopped and kneeled in front of her, "I'm bleeding!"

"What?! What happened?" Sesshomaru asked looking for something to fight.

"I don't know," she cried so loud he thought he would pass out. There was blood on her hand, "I was picking flowers… and… and I got the worst pain and started bleeding!"

"Can you walk Rin?" he said unsure what to do. He didn't know what was happening, so he had no idea what to do.

"No! It HURTS! I'm going to DIE!" she cried out again as she bent forward making him fall back. He swallowed before noticing she had been bleeding. He picked her up into his arms and started running as fast as he could as she clung to his neck letting tears moisten his bare neck. Finally he made it to the castle in what seemed to be forever. Jaken met him with a youkai nurse who had pitch white hair like their lord.

"What happened?" she asked worried about the girl they had all come to know and actually like. But no one had quite like Sesshomaru… who to him she had become everything. He would never admit it but he was wrapped around the finger of a cute little brown eyed girl, she was the center of his whole world and he belonged to that sweet beautiful perfect little girl.

"I don't know," he said running her to the examining room where all the nurses were. Sesshomaru laid her on the bed as she grabbed her stomach in pain. He looked down at his kimono which now had red stains in it. The woman walked into the room shooing him away as she examined her. For an hour he paced back and forth in his study until the nurse walked into the room catching him off guard, "so what happened?"

"Well a human body is much different then our own…" she began before Sesshomaru broke his cool.

"She made it didn't she!" Sesshomaru seemed to more yell then ask that one. She smiled and shook her head yes.

"Human woman have this thing every month where they bleed… it's a sexual thing so I read," the woman said unsure of how to explain it. But by the look on his face she could tell she hadn't explained it well enough, "the thing is when they reach a certain age their sexual parts start to kick in so that they can have a child…"

"But she is so young! She can't have a baby!" he yelled unsure of what had happened that made her get pregnant.

"No my lord she is not having a child, she is now capable of having a child. Although to us she seems but a child, to humans she is at that age she would be considered a young woman and some families even marry them off at her age into higher families," the older youkai said trying to as best explain the world of humans, "so every month the little human egg inside of her will drop and if there is no baby it washes through her and she bleeds."

"Oh… so she is alright?" Sesshomaru said sitting into his seat letting loose all the tension he had in him. She shook her head yes again, "she told me she was going to die…"

"Well she isn't… you have got to remember we are all youkai my lord, she is a human and has no mother or father to explain these things to her. So when she started bleeding the only thing to presume if something inside of you is fatal and you're going to die. You look worried," she laughed, "I've been with you a long time I even was there when YOU were a child and never have I seen you care for anything… especially woman. You've gone through many I am surprised there are any left, and never have you cared for any… you've always despised humans so why do you love a human girl?"

"I don't love anyone," he said coldly, "I promised I'd always protect her."

"So she is the child you never had?" the old woman said making him look at her.

"Absolutely not, for I would never claim a human child as my own nor would I ever think of one as such. I simply have… slightly a little of compassion for the child. She was the only human to ever look at me and not try and kill me or run. Instead she tried to help me, and since I brought her back to a world where she had no one… I guess I took on the responsibility to protect her until she is old enough to protect herself. I do not owe her anything, however I am a youkai of my word and this Sesshomaru never goes back on his words. I said I would never make her stay nor make her leave," Sesshomaru said with such honesty as well modesty.

-End of flashback-

"Let's get moving," Sesshomaru said turning to leave. Rin smiled before lifting up Jaken into the saddle with her. He clung onto her waist as she got the horse to move at a slow trot after Sesshomaru. For hours they traveled until Rin began to space off and her lord too lost track of the two. It wasn't until Jaken woke up that they realized they were lost.

"Rin… RIN!" Jaken yelled snapping her out of it as the horse stopped.

"Yes huh?" she said looking around un-liking the darkness of the forest, "what happened to the light?

"We aren't supposed to be here," Jaken said gripping her waist tighter, "SESSHOMARU!"

"Shhh!" she said hearing the breaking of a twig. Rin reached behind her pulling him off and putting him in the front before loosening the reins a little. Jaken swallowed nervously. As something began to walk out of the forest, but Rin was not going to see what was going to most likely eat them and she accidentally a little roughly kicked the gray stallion hard making him take off with speed. Jaken squealed as the horse ran fast on top of the moist loose black soil. It wasn't until something jumped out in front of them that the horse tried to stop wheeling quickly to the side on his hind legs to run. They were brought to the ground when something was flung around the horses hind legs so he couldn't run. Rin and Jaken screamed as they both went flying off into separate directions. She jumped up trying to get to Jaken but he was already trying to fight off some men who had him held hostage. She grabbed a huge piece of wood and hit one guy in the head with it before another came up behind her grabbing her. Her weapon fell to the ground and she resorted to nails and fists. It was no use for she was out numbered and so was her friends.

'Sesshomaru…' she thought as she tried to see through the dark forest.

Rin and her friends were dragged to a large camp and separated. Jaken was taken off and tied to a post; her horse was tied to some trees as she tried to fight the ropes violently. Rin was taken into a tent and tied up. A man came in about a half an hour later and looked at her quite unsure of her presence.

"What are you doing in here?" the man asked violence and hate in his eyes. She heard the cries of Jaken and immediately was on her feet knocking him over and out the door.

"Master Jaken!" Rin cried as she saw him being beaten. Jaken looked to see the girl whose hands were tied behind her back running towards him.

"RUN RIN!" Jaken squeaked making her look for an entrance as she took off but was tackled again. Rin struggled and was slammed to the ground several times and then dragged back to the tent, "RIN!!!!"

"Rin… right?" the man said throwing her down making her wince in pain but not cry, no she wouldn't cry… that would be showing weakness and her lord taught her better then to show weakness.

"No," she said sarcastically. His large hands found her arm and dragged her to her feet.

"Don't lie to me," he said squeezing her harm tightly.

"Get OFF!" she yelled pulling away. He went to grab her again but she turn to her side so she could elbow him in his stomach making him bend over in pain and giving her the chance to knee him in the face making him fly back. She kicked him in the face making sure he was out before taking off out the tent again, but his large hand found her ankle making her fall harshly onto her face. Blood trickled from her nose turning all the dirt on her face into muddy clumps. The man now in a bad mood grabbed her by the ankles and pulled her into the tent as her nails dug into the thick earth leaving her finger nails full of dirt.

"Bitch," he said as he kicked her in the side making her curl up. Rin coughed trying to not cry or show weakness, "get up. NOW!"

"No," she said embracing herself for the next kick. It took her back to the time when she was young and was beat for lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru.

"Where is that other filthy youkai you've been traveling with?" the man asked her but she would not answer. Another kick came to her and she just closed her eyes trying to go to a better place. He grabbed her arm painfully lifting her up. She felt the back of his hand across her already sensitive cheek making her eyes tighten more. She heard the painful squawks of Jaken as she tried to not cry, "What you decided you don't have a voice now?"

"Jaken!" she cried out unable to bear the sounds of his calls, "stop."

"Tell us where the rest of your party is!" he said shaking her violently.

"NO!" she screamed feeling his fist in her face making her fall to the ground, "stop hurting him. Keep me just let him go…"

"You bleed and have compassion like a human," the man said looking at the red blood that stained both his hands and her face.

"What did you think I was?" Rin breathed heavily on the ground blood dripping to the floor. Rin let one tear go but held back the rest. How strong could she be… she was failing already.

"The same as that filthy beast outside," the man said lowering onto one knee as he grabbed the back of her hair and pulling her head to look at him. Blood and dirt covered her once beautiful skin and face.

"That youkai you call a beast has been my only father since I was but a child," Rin glared at him with the only thing that still held its beauty… her bright brown eyes.

"Well you look as ugly as he now," he said pushing her head painfully back into the floor, "no one is going to save you."

"Please let him go," Rin said gripping handfuls of dirt as the screams of Jaken died and the camp seemed to quiet down. Rin took deep breaths unsure what to do or who was outside the tent door. So with pain everywhere she managed to get onto her feet, she knew she did not have enough strength to make it to wherever their lord was so she would have to free Master Jaken. Rin peeked out of the tent holding her ribs trying to keep her breath as she saw Jaken sleeping the post he had been tied to. Rin looked around and watched as most of the guys were sitting around a large fire telling jokes and talking about all the things they had done with their woman, and the things they had done to youkai. Rin ran to a small fire and bit her lips as she let the rope on her wrist catch fire quickly burning the dried rope so she could put it out before her wrist got permanent burns. Rin tried to ignore the burning feeling on her wrist that left blisters and black marks as she found Jaken and placed her hand over his mouth.

"Rin?" he mumbled under her hand as she shook her head yes. He would have barely been able to tell it was her if it weren't for her eyes and her tattered kimono.

"Come on," she said trying to undo his bindings. Finally she freed him trying to ignore the painful looking marks on Jaken as she led him to her horse. She hugged the gray beast who seemed relieved to see her. Quickly she readjusted the stirrups to his length and pushed him up before slowly backing away, "hold onto the horn and those reins and you should be fine."

"Rin? Rin… aren't you coming?" Jaken asked nervously, "Stop messing around and get on."

"You are a youkai and much stronger then I Jaken. My wounds cannot sustain riding a horse without further damage and I will not be fast enough on foot I will be caught once again. Find lord Sesshomaru and come back for me if you can… if not I understand," Rin said before smacking the rear of her horse making him trot off into the forest. Rin let out a soft cry as she watched him ride off. She then turned back into camp and trying to get back into her tent. Morning came and the man from the night before came in looking furious. Rin knew it was coming, for they knew it was her.

"You wench," he said grabbing her by the hair violently making her reach into his belt grabbing his knife. It entered his gut making him drop her onto the ground as he stumbled backwards. Rin knew what she had done would have major consequences now. Rin took off out the tent door in hopes she would get as far away as possible so that she could hide but was grabbed by many men. Rin struggled grabbing one of their swords and pointing it at them. They all circled around her so she had no way to escape… she was done. Rin pointed the sword out further in warning.

"Stand down," Rin said warningly as she sliced at one of the men and losing her balance. Hands grabbed on her tying her up again once more. They then began the interrogation again.

Author's note- I know tricky place to leave off. I hope there was enough drama in this one for you; I felt it was starting to get slightly boring there so I had to throw in a few painful regretful moments. Thanks a lot you guys!


	9. The garden

Chapter 9: The garden-

Disclaimer- I do not own inuyasha as I have said before. HA. HA. HA. But I wouldn't mind it!

"Where did he go?" the man asked his hand leaving another mark across her face. Rin just went silent not speaking a word as she had the second and first day. Rin just gritted her teeth and gripped at the dirt. How long could she handle this… her light was already fading, "fine you don't want to talk I'll make you… Riko!"

"Yes boss," a larger man said entering the tent as he saw the girl on the ground, "she's still alive?"

"Yes and she still hasn't told me what we need to know. So take her to the men and persuade her to talk," he said walking out of the tent as the man grabbed her lifting her over his shoulders. She didn't fight just laid there limp like a sack of potatoes as he dropped her on the ground beside the men who sat eating.

"We are to get her to talk," the man said trying to think of one of the many ways they had gotten their past victims to talk. He smiled before taking a long hot rod with what looked like an "N" at the end of it. Rin looked at him frightened of what would happen, she wouldn't talk… she wouldn't even utter his name. He stuck the end of it in the fire for a minute while it got extremely hot. All the men then realized what they were going to do. Two men held her still as the man with the poker grabbed the neck of her kimono from the back and tore it so that it revealed the right side of her back as she struggled, "where are the youkai's you travel with?"

"She isn't talking," one of the other men said feeling frustrated. Did she not believe they would do it?

"Fine," the man with the poker said placing it on her back sending the worst pain she ever felt as they held it there and she couldn't hold it back she wasn't strong enough. Her scream seemed to echo through the camp and the woods surrounding it. Finally he pulled it off of her skin making her fall forward as the men caught her. Her skin felt on fire and the air on it made it sting more and tears poured from her eyes onto her dirty face. Sobs caught the air with the smell of tears.

"SesshomaRU!!!!" Jaken screamed from the back of the gray beast. IT was no longer that hard to stay balanced. It seemed like forever even though it was only two days until he ran away from camp. All of his wounds had dried up and he was regaining strength.

"Jaken?" a strong powerful voice came from down the road. Jaken's little pointed ears twitched at the sound.

"SESSHOMARU!" Jaken squealed in shame and excitement. Sesshomaru looked around for Rin but she was no where in sight.

"What happened to you?" he asked looking at the bumps and bruises, "…where is Rin?"

"I'm so sorry lord Sesshomaru…" Jaken started before they heard a deafening scream. A look of terror crossed Jaken's face as he knew it was Rin. Sesshomaru seemed to tense up in nervousness.

"Where's RIN!" he yelled with such violence that he pulled his sword out on Jaken and the horse. The gray stallion reared shaking his head ready to charge.

"Lord Sesshomaru…" Jaken cried before Sesshomaru took off sword in his hand. He wasn't going to let Rin die, this time it wasn't just cramps… this was a scream of utter pain. His heart pounded, his chest began to rise, everything became a blur… he should have known. He should have known that they didn't just get lost for four to five days… he should have looked. How could he have trusted her in the hands of that pathetic youkai toad?

Rin laid on the harsh ground trembling not wanting to roll over from the burn mark. She tried to not cry but things were just so bad and so horrible… what could she do? Her heart beat so wildly that she thought it would explode. Why? Why was it happening to her… why was she there, why wasn't she with her lord? She heard men talking outside and she knew the worst was yet to come.

"What should we do with her she won't talk?" one of the men asked un sure of what other ways to get the girl to talk.

"Well… there isn't much so she is no longer any use to us. Go ahead and kill her," the boss man said walking away leaving two men left. The sun was slipping by some far away mountains hiding unknown lands.

"I bet she's a virgin," one man said with a chuckle as the other looked at him for a moment, "no use in letting a young thing like that go to waste."

"I think you've got a point," the other said thinking about it a moment. Rin squinted her eyes shut gathering all the strength she had to help her fight at that moment so that she would provoke them to kill her. She would not let them taint her before she would die, she would die pure so that she would go to the after life and be spared. So that Sesshomaru would not be disgraced with her death. She would die with valor as the night would claim her cold soul and take it to the carrier. Rin climbed to her knees as the tent flap began to open. She gripped a rock in her hand before lunging at the man who entered. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his arms. All she could see was a white blur and felt the warmth and familiar scent of her lord. He slowly laid her down as she winced in pain. He looked over her as the scent of tears and blood washed over and stung his sensitive nose. He breathed in short heavy breaths as he looked over the girl who lay on the ground before him covered in blood and dirt. Rage took over him and he could barely stand the shaky feelings in his limbs and chest.

"Don't leave…" she gasped softly gripping at his white kimono.

"I'll be back…" he pulled away from her walking out into the camp where he stared at the laughing men who caused so much pain to the only one he ever loved. With rage the demon in him began to take form but he was able to stop from turning into his full fledged demon form for that would also kill Rin. With ease he slaughtered every human and thing in that camp except for one who seemed to be stronger then the rest. He had the man to his knees and realized that he had been the leader or at least one who had hurt her… for he could smell her blood ALL over him.

"What was your purpose…" Sesshomaru growled saliva hitting the ground beside the man's head, "she was nothing but an innocent girl."

"Information from that youkai toad and the girl we thought to be a youkai as well. We were looking for information on your where about," the man said not sure whether he was afraid or not.

"Why did you want to know it?" Sesshomaru growled all the things he wanted to do to this man poured through his mind like a hot burning liquid swished around a pot.

"A man had hired us," the man said simply, "he wanted all the information he could on you… and why you carry around this girl? We thought she was a youkai… but her blood was too human."

"What was this mans name?" Sesshomaru swallowed hatefully.

"If I tell you will you let me live?" the man asked with a smile.

"No… but I will make it a quick death," Sesshomaru said dragging his long sharp nail down the man's arm.

"Uh…" the man didn't know what to say but when the youkai's acid saliva hit his chest and face he screamed the name… "NARAKU!"

"Naraku?" Sesshomaru said taken back as the man shook his head yes. Sesshomaru with the flick of his hand and acid whip cut the man in half with such ease taking his pointless pathetic life within a second. Sesshomaru stood up before walking back to the tent where Rin laid little sobs coming from her as she slowly looked up using every bit of strength as possible. He looked back at the two dead men by her tent door a thought of the things they would have done to her made him growl slice at the tent flap making it fall. Rin looked up more so her eyes would meet his before collapsing back into the dirt. Sesshomaru fell to her side pulling her into his arms as he couldn't help but let a tear fall, "NARAKU!!! You bastard!"

"Sess…homaru?" Rin said not wanting to be there anymore.

"Rin…" he gasped touching some of her rich raven hair which seemed ratted and full of mud, blood, and twigs.

"Please… get me out of here," Rin said shaking as she gripped him, "please…"

"Yes Rin," he said lifting her into his arms and taking off cradling her head into his chest so that she could not see the blood and dead bodies that lay sprawled out on the camp's dirty blood soaked ground.

"Sesshomaru?" Jaken asked as he saw his lord covered in blood carrying a heap of orange red and black with speed through the forest. Jaken had a hard time keeping up with his lord who was running with great speed to get to a place where Rin could be helped. But the need to be with Rin made the gray stallion push on at a very fast canter. Sesshomaru could not let his Rin die… not in that awful place. There it was… the city of Lamathis. His speed quickened leaving behind the others as he rushed into the beautiful city. Past houses of white and nice stone, past carts that would have been open and lively if the sun had been up, and past fields that had been carefully taken care of towards the huge castle of beautiful stone, marble, and crystal windows.

The door was busted open and there stood a blood soaked youkai holding a human girl. It was only natural that the guards pulled out there weapons to defend their prince who stood open eyed and frightened. Sesshomaru ignored this and walked towards them.

"Put your weapons down… Sesshomaru I presume?" the young youkai prince said looking away from his manuscript. Sesshomaru was almost speechless.

"Please…" was all he could manage to get out. This was no time for rough exterior, "someone. Someone!"

"Take her to the healers," the man in charge said as some people came and took her from his arms. He stood there unsure of what to do… never had he been in shock like that. Nothing had ever scared him that much in his life… as the thought of losing her.

"Where are they taking her?" Sesshomaru demanded. The young man just looked at him.

"We have some things to discuss but you and your comrades look like your tired. Get yourself a much needed rest and we will discuss these things in the morning," he said as the gray stallion trotted up the stairs with a bouncing Jaken. Sesshomaru watched as Rin disappeared into a room, "she will be fine I a sure you."

"She better," Sesshomaru growled turning to look at Jaken.

Sesshomaru paced for hours in his room when someone came to get him. He followed the youkai woman down to the room where people came out carrying red sheets and bowls of water. Rin lay on the bed with the sun peaking up at her slowly through an open window that had some pretty white flowers on it. He let out a soft sigh as he closed the door behind him and sat in a chair that was beside the bed. He couldn't control the urge to take her hand which lay there flat on her chest. She was sleeping like a rock; she had the cutest nose and the sweetest eyes that were hidden by swollen lids. For the first time he had seen love that day. He hated that he loved her so, he hated that it broke his heart to see her so beaten up. It wasn't until then that he realized what was important to him. It wasn't his title, or the land he owned… he traveled everywhere and seen many things like mountains and canyons but he could never wait to get back to get back to the one who was waiting for him, and his favorite view was her. He had seen what beautiful was about… when he was looking in, not looking out. She was the most beautiful thing in his life, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or known.

"Rin," he said softly to make sure she was really asleep. He then kissed her hand which he had been holding, "I… want to tell you how much I love you, let you hear every secret feeling I've been holding in. How I can't stand your beautiful scent because I desire to be with me always, how I can't to look at you because I realize how much I need you, I can't stand knowing that I love you but can't have you because of my own foolish pride. But I can't tell you… I will never tell you. But although a lot of things will come and go, love never will. Never leave me Rin… please."

"Lord… Sesshomaru," Rin mumbled in her sleep, "I love…"

"What? This Sesshomaru didn't hear…" Sesshomaru asked quickly as Rin rolled over revealing her bareback he almost passed out with weird emotions and desires until he saw the ugly mark on her back. Through all the hideousness he could see the out look of the initial "N" and he knew what it was. A growl escaped his lips as he grabbed a vase of flowers and threw it across the room waking Rin. She yelped in pain when she sat up to fast before seeing Sesshomaru and knowing she was safe.

"Sesshomaru," she said in short shallow breaths as if she had been running for miles without water or rest.

"Rin," he said feeling horrible for waking her up, "I'm…"

"I'm glad you're here," Rin said swallowing before a woman came in with a pitcher of water and some glasses.

"The young lady now needs her rest if she is to make a full recovery," the woman said pouring a glass of water and forcing Rin to drink. It killed her to see her in so much pain.

"Rin I will be back later," he said almost as if he was demanding it instead of making a statement. Rin just smiled as if nothing was wrong with her. How could she be so strong at this time? The old woman walked out to get her some food, and before Sesshomaru could also leave she spoke up.

"I didn't cry or tell them anything. I fought back," Rin said smiling at him. He could tell she fought back, if she had just given them the info she wouldn't be there and he wouldn't be feeling so bad, guilty, and angry.

"You shouldn't have," Sesshomaru said walking out of the room her smile leaving as quickly as he did. Rin sighed feeling like she couldn't ever really do anything wrong. Why was he being so harsh on her now? If only she knew that she had scared him, she had broken his heart for a moment by not saying a word.

It had been a few days and Rin was starting to feel a little better then before. Many human women and youkai women came in and out tending to her wounds helping her heal. Sesshomaru had not been in to visit her in that time. Rin sat up feeling the light of the day brighten the room. She looked in the mirror at herself as she held up the sheet to cover her nude body. Though her body was sore and damaged she felt stronger then she had felt in awhile. She touched her cleaned face where visible cuts resided on her lip the bridge of her nose and on her eye brow and a bruise on the right side of her cheek.

She decided that she had to find someone so she could get out of that small sick room. So she opened the door and peeked out before walking out into the long hallway. She had no idea on which way she was to go so she took down what seemed the shortest passage. To her surprise someone walked around the corner running into her. She squealed barely catching her sheet revealing her hips and curves as it covered her chest and front. She screamed as he dropped his book in shock for she didn't know who he was or what was happening. The boy fell back onto his but as Rin hugged herself trying to keep the sheet from falling any more.

Sesshomaru heard her scream and came flying down the hall way. He spotted a boy on the floor and Rin… half naked? Immediately he was there throwing his white fur over her and holding it closed. Rin gripped to his kimono frantically.

"Kill him!" Rin cried out as Sesshomaru looked back to the young man sitting on the ground. He stood up picking his book up along with him.

"Prince Halder," Sesshomaru said in respect as he seemed to pull Rin closer into his side. Rin looked up at Sesshomaru's strong defined handsome face before looking to the young handsome man who stood in front of them, "what were you doing with Rin?"

"Calm yourself mighty Sesshomaru," the prince chuckled, "I merely happened to run into this… charming, young lady here. We happened to be turning the same corner when I ran into a woman traveling around my home naked."

"Rin?" he said angry at her which seemed to catch both the prince and Rin off guard. Had he cared if the man seen her naked… why? Rin's eyes went wide in terror.

"I didn't see anything she caught her sheet just in time making me fall over in shock. I saw nothing nor did she let me see anything, if anything she caught me by surprised with her frantic screams… I thought a monster might behind me, then you show up behind me and I realized she was screaming because of my presents. Normally girls don't scream in terror of me, slightly refreshing I suppose," the prince rambled on as if he loved the sound of his voice.

"You talk a lot," Rin said chuckled catching both of them off guard; her laugh seemed to ease the tension in the room. It made the prince smile at her in a way Sesshomaru didn't like, and Sesshomaru not be so angry.

"Let's go Rin you need your rest," Sesshomaru demanded as he pushed her back towards her room. The young youkai prince watched as Sesshomaru ushered the young girl off and a smile came to his face.

"Rin stay in here," Sesshomaru said a little angrily.

"Sesshomaru why are you angry?" Rin asked before he could leave, "I didn't mean to do… I didn't do anything wrong."

"I know," Sesshomaru sighed not looking at her. How could he tell her that he was jealous? "I'll send someone back with clothes."

"Alright my lord," Rin said smiling at him, though he couldn't stand the marks left on her beautiful skin her smile still lit up her face as if no marks ever existed. She was amazing… not even that could take away who she was. Why couldn't he be more like her he always wondered? Nothing changed who she was… nothing not a scrape on her knee, not a broken heart, not a near death experience… or some of the worst things imaginable that's who she was. She was a saint and a sinner a loser and a winner she was steady and unstable young and yet able both weak and yet so very strong even though she was very curious and clumsy most of the time. It was all apart of her that's who she was and… that was almost more then half of what he loved. If only he knew without her he had nothing, he lived for nothing, and he was nothing.

"I've come with your fresh pair of clothes," a woman said handing her a plain cotton dress. Everyone around there wore different clothing then she was used to. It didn't matter it was slightly interesting to her. She looked at herself in the mirror as she twirled, never had any of her clothes spun up in the air… she imagined herself dancing in it and couldn't help herself she had to get out of there. A knock on the door caught her off guard, Rin knew she had to answer it so she made a quick appearance. The young youkai man stood there with a flower making her gasp.

"It's lovely!" she gasped in excitement. Flowers brought her home, "are there anymore?"

"Well you're a woman who knows what she wants. How many more do you want?" he laughed making her notice his defined jaw line like her lords. He resembled him with a darker colored hair and not quite as built and tall however he was quite attractive.

"A field," Rin smiled a very charming smile. No wonder the great youkai lord Sesshomaru was enamored by her… at least seemed to be.

"I know where one is," he said moving out of the way so she could exit the room. Rin was relieved to be leaving the room. She followed him to the entrance and out the door down the path. They walked around the castle to where a beautiful garden held many kinds of flowers, more kinds then she had ever seen.

"You grew these?" Rin asked as she walked through touching a vibrant red one. She looked at him and a large smile crossed her face.

"Do you like it?" he asked as she danced around enjoying the feeling of her dress brushing against her dress.

"I love it," she said feeling like a kid again.

"Good then you have the privilege of taking any flower at any time as many as you want. That dress seems very plain… I will have new ones made for you," he said plucking the first flower he touched and walking towards her. He held it out in front of her when she stopped dancing. She put some hair behind her ear before taking it, "what is your name?"

"Rin," she said looking at him in surprise… she was slightly taken back by him. Why was he being so nice?

"Well Rin my name is Halder. I will have a room prepared for you and I hope you will accompany your…" he said confusing Rin, "Sesshomaru what is he to you?"

"My lord of course… he's taken care of me since I was just a child, he brought me back to life literally. He and Master Jaken have been my only family," Rin said still looking him in the eyes, "they are all I remember of being happy. He refers to me as his charge a lot."

"Well I hope that you would accompany your lord and I to dinner tonight and turn a dull and boring conversation on affairs of state," Halder said his hand placing the flower in her ear.

"Well all though the conversation of state affairs is dull and boring it is very crucial and important. Many lives depend on the choice men of higher rank make… it makes all the difference in the world," Rin said very seriously making him chuckle.

"Well someone seems to care about others, I would be very happy to have you as my advisor," he said giving her a charming smile.

"I guess," Rin said giving him a look of uncertainty.

"So then you will join me to I mean us to dinner?" the prince said making her nod her head yes as if she didn't know how to answer.

"Yes I will," Rin said very deliberately as he smiled.

"Well it is settled then, let me go and make the arrangements for your room as well dinner," Halder said bowing before he left for the castle. Rin stood there uncertain of how to respond to everything… it was all happening so fast.

Rin picked a large bouquet of flowers before returning to the large castle to find lord Sesshomaru who was not wondering the halls as she might have expected him to be. She asked one of the maids where he was and found herself lead to a large room on the top floor where all the royal or higher guests stayed. She knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. Finally he came to the door looking tired, stressed, and warn. He for some reason looked surprised to see Rin.

"What are you doing here?" Sesshomaru asked making Rin blush when she saw him shirtless again. He looked at her funny when she giggled.

"I… brought," she started laughing more, "I brought you flowers lord Sesshomaru."

"You did what? Why?" he asked opening the door so she could walk in with the large bundle of flowers.

"They reminded me of you even in the toughest of weather always standing strong and tall," Rin said smiling at him. He just looked at her with the same expressionless stare as normal.

"Why are you really here?" Sesshomaru asked plainly as if he didn't believe her. Rin looked hurt by that comment.

"Maybe I just wanted to see you and thank you for saving my life," Rin said angrily, "why are you being so rude?"

"Rin I need to think I need you to leave," Sesshomaru said making her feel completely unwanted. He really couldn't stand the hurt look on her face especially though one he would see when he told her that he lost her necklace, the one he swore to protect until they found each other again, "Rin leave."

"Yes my lord," Rin said turning to leave quickly trying to forget the painful feeling in her heart.

Authors note- Jeez what a jerk! How could Sesshomaru just dismiss her like that as if he hadn't really been hoping to see her which we all know he was. The next chapter is going to be a little weird… it's going to be in each one of their perspectives. It will switch back and forth between narrator, Rin, and Sesshomaru which will be a little tricky but I will figure it out.


	10. A new world

Chapter 10: a new world…

Disclaimer- you know the drill I sadly don't own it the Inuyasha!!!

"Rin?" a deep voice caught her attention however it wasn't the voice she wished it to be, "your room is ready come and take a look."

"Really?" Rin said trying to pretend she was excited. He led her down the hall to where a room sat with its door wide open. She smiled as he placed his hands over her eyes and led her into the room slowly. He lifted them and revealed a GIANT room full of flowers all around her. A giant bed lay in the middle with beautiful drapes hanging from the canopy reds and blacks and silvers, master Jaken must have told them her favorite colors.

-Rin-

I couldn't hold back my smile as I stared around the room looking at all the beautiful things he had thrown together for me. I was amazed and couldn't deny I found him incredibly charming and handsome. Perhaps its Sesshomaru's coldness that pushed me to this prince I know nothing about, but he is quite the gentlemen… and I couldn't deny that I do love all this attention and things I am getting. I felt my body go tense as he walked up closer to me so that I could hear the words that he spoke.

"I have had everything made up just for you. It's not fully finished but do not worry I will have it done, but for now I shall leave you to your room," he said to me sending chills down my spine. I couldn't help but smile as he walked to the door still watching me nearly falling over a tiny table with flowers. I turned around to watch him as he caught the vase spinning around smiling. I just chuckled… I loved having someone look at me in that way, it was… what's the word refreshing?

I stood there a moment after he left before a knock caught my attention startling me out of my deep thoughts. I made my way to the door and opened it when a woman walked in quickly nearly knocking me aside. Was she human? She seemed in such a hurry, but stopped and stood in the middle of the room.

"Rin correct?" the brown haired girl asked standing straight. I just shook my head yes before she spoke again, "I will be your personal assistant. I will follow you around the castle and whatever you ask I will try to make come true. But as of right now the lord wishes you to accompany him on a tour of our wonderful nation, and has had an assortment of dresses made for you which is being brought up right…. Now, here they are."

"Oh," was all I could manage to let slip out as I watched eight women carrying two dresses a piece in and two women carrying boxes that might knock them over. What was all this?

"I presume you know how to dress yourself?" the older woman asked me making my ears twitch slightly. I opened one of the boxes and they were very odd looking shoes with pointy things.

"What are these?" I asked making the girls all laugh as they walked out of the room. But how was I to know… I was a simple girl who belonged to a lord and all kinds of beautiful things from my… I mean lord Sesshomaru's lands.

"These are shoes. Well… this place is much different then where YOU come from at least so it seemed by the look of your clothes we found and cleaned but could not repair. We used to be as simple as that, but the lord traveled all around the world bringing many knew things and upgrading our beautiful nation. So this is the latest fashion you should feel very privileged to get out of the old ways even if just for a little while," the woman said to me as if I was just something that brought things of ugliness which made me feel very hurt.

"I am sorry if I don't match your standards," I said unsure of what to say to this woman who had set down the shoes.

"Ignore her miss, shooo Gretchen," the older woman said showing me to where all the dresses were hung up "let me explain this to you. These eight are your festival, your dinner, your well any event that requires dressing exquisitely for. Like tonight and tomorrow… consider them your evening dresses or party dress. These here are your everyday dresses. And at the end of every month you will get rid of these and get a new pair. As of now the lord wishes that you will accompany him on a walk so you would wear one of these sun dresses."

"Really well which one should I wear? I am use to kimonos so… this is really all new to me," I was really uncertain of my new surroundings… I felt oddly alone, where was my lord Sesshomaru? "Do you know where Lord Sesshomaru is?"

"I heard he took off back to the forest where he traveled through previously. I would suggest this one to start with. It's a nice green and bead one it would match well with your eyes and hair," she said grabbing it from its spot and placing it on the bed. She turned around as I put the beautiful dress on. It draped and dangled and where sleeves should have been there were beautiful beads and crystals. It was a beautiful lime green color and a little to low cut for my taste but it did me a lot more justice then my little baggy kimono which the lord was trying to hide my curves which I began to realize was for my protection. How refreshing it was though to see myself for once as a woman… to see myself in a different light so to say, "you look very lovely. Shall I braid your hair?"

"Can you do that?" I asked with such enthusiasm as she grabbed a matching lime green ribbon and began to braid my hair. As she grabbed a matching green collar it seemed it was supposed to be some kind of necklace, but it nearly choked me. How beautiful it was with the lime green lace on it. As she grabbed me a pair of shoes to go with it I spoke up again, "what is your name?"

"My name? Oh… well, my name is Gracie," she said making me smile, "here try these on."

"Oh my," I said as I looked at the green slipper like shoes. They were very comfortable and made of stretchy material but slightly hard on the bottom, "I look so strange."

"You look beautiful," she said as she placed a white daisy in my ear. I swallowed nervously as I looked at myself, and how slim my waist looked in this dress. What weird fashion these people had… but I guess if the lord wants to stay here I could make it work. I giggled as I twirled in the full length mirror on the wall watching the beautiful dress twirl and then fall into place the beautiful beads trying to keep up, "okay I believe you are ready now."

"Really, do you think so?" I asked as I looked in the mirror a moment before walking out of the door followed by Gracie whose job was clearly to follow my every movement doing whatever I so pleased. I had one of those when I was younger… but for some reason when I was getting really sick from the food she was making me lord Sesshomaru killed her. Hmmm I wonder what happened to her, she always gave me sour looks. After that I never had another one of them. I use to make her play with me, but now I am too old to make people play with me. I followed the long hallway to the large door that led to the staircase leading downstairs. To where the main entrance was, a large silver door that was beautiful. Gracie beat me to it and opened the door so I could make it through to where Halder stood waiting for me.

"Glad you could make it," he smiled as I made my way up to him. I stopped giving a shy smile that made his smile wider.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I fiddled with my dress. He shrugged and started walking down the steps waiting for me to follow. As we walked through the streets he pointed out a lot of his favorite spots, the market place where travelers stopped through to sell their things before traveling off again, "why do you like it there?"

"Well because these are people I never seen before so I like to try and get to know them, see what things they bring… and if something catches my eye, a little something like you, then I want to buy it," he said smiling at me. I couldn't help but blush and look down, "I like things that aren't simple."

"What makes you think I am not simple?" I asked peeking up at him. He just smiled.

"I wasn't referring to you, you happen to be very simple quite simple in fact… too simple," he chuckled making me push him over before I laughed myself forgetting how displeases with my behavior Sesshomaru would be, "no honestly I just happen to have this feeling your not as ordinary as every other girl out there."

"No one is. Besides aren't you a youkai? Shouldn't you be despising me?" I asked honestly before he looked down losing his smile.

"It is a shame that some youkai have that demeanor in fact almost all do. But there are those of us on this side of the world who happen to look past that. Take a look around Rin," he said pointing at all the people who were his subjects.

"Some are humans… like Gracie?" I said noticing the difference between people. Both Hanyou, humans, and youkai all lived together without fighting or fear, "how long has it been this way?"

"Since before I was born… it was my father who helped your lords father see a little bit of what he saw, the beauty in humans… that we aren't all that different if we can control our natures," he said smiling at me as I looked around in aw, "we are all the same in some weird way. At the very least we can use each other to our advantages… we can all do our part to live a co-existent life with one another."

"No one liked me really where I am from. Sesshomaru was always killing people because they would try and kill me. Eventually everyone feared our lord enough to leave me be, and most in the castle grew to like and understand me," I said biting my lip avoiding the painful cut on it.

"So Sesshomaru is kind of like your father figure? And you his daughter in some strange way?" he asked smiling some how in aw by that. I just smiled bigger.

"Not at all," I said looking down with a big smile, "not at all."

"Really… then what?" he asked a little worried as I looked up my smile as big as possible.

"Friends, we are friends," I smiled making him smile, "his only friend he claims."

"Really?" he smiled, "he's got a great friend."

"I've got a great friend," I said sighing as I fidgeted some more with my dress. He just shook his head.

"No he has a GREAT friend. He is lucky to have had you rather then no one at all," he smiled as he touched my arm sending the chills down my spine again. What strange feelings these are. What are they? Feelings not quite like the ones I get with lord Sesshomaru… but these are unique in there own little way.

"He saved me though," I said looking a little sad at the thought of what would have happened without him and Jaken.

"Yes he may have saved you thank goodness, but by the looks of it… you saved him," he said taking my hand, "and any woman who can tame the heart of a beast is a strong and powerful woman that the world needs."

"Now you put to much pressure on me Lord Halder," I smiled as I bit my lip again. I seemed to be getting very nervous with him. I never had a problem with talking in anyway but I wanted to watch what I said with this man, but also be open with him. I was always very cautious with what I said to my lord… but that's because he was the only one I cared about losing. I felt a connection however with this Halder; he intrigued me with how much of a gentleman he was. However he could never be to me what Sesshomaru was, I love Sesshomaru and that was it. But Lord Sesshomaru won't ever be with me… so what do I do? Do I pursue Halder who seems sweet and kind someone who is interested in me, or do I wait it out with my lord?

-Sesshomaru-

'What did I do with that damned necklace? How did I lose it? This forest is so dark how will I ever find it, I've been searching for a day now. How can I tell her I lost the one thing that she loves? How could I… I don't even know why I care so much. I've searched this forest up and down someone must have stolen it.'

I traveled a little longer through the forest until I came upon the spot that once held a large crowd of men holding Rin and tortured her. I felt a shutter run through my body as I walked into the camp once more. Something caught my eye as the lowering sun reflected off it. Why do I feel so relieved? I haven't actually found it yet but just the thought of it puts me at ease.

With quickness I walk to the tent where something shines covered by blood and dirt. I closed my eyes trying to get the images that reminded me that I had nearly gotten her killed. The beast inside me wanted to burst out of me destroying everything in my path. My hands dug into the earth something jabbing my left hand, lifting my hand up and opening it I saw the beautiful ruby necklace resting in my palm with dirt. I sighed feeling the beast inside of me being calmed down, almost as if that necklace brought me peace… Rin had worn it around her beautiful neck resting against her chest. It had her essence all over it, her pure essence her strength and power and the secrets in her heart.

I have to get back before it gets dark, I do not want to miss dinner… I want to hurry and give Rin the necklace so that I can get this burden off my chest. With speed I run through the forest watching trees fly behind me as if I am the wind… as if I was air and not something to be feared and yet everything to fear. I am fear itself. I am to be feared. I do fear. Rin…

-- Rin--

I giggled as I danced in the room feeling so happy and delighted. Why wouldn't I feel happy and delighted? Was this love also? Could it be possible I could have a life with someone other then Lord Sesshomaru… of course I will never love him like I love Sesshomaru. Where is my lord? Hmmm strange… there's a knock at my door?

"Come in!" I said as Gracie walked in carrying a bouquet of flowers, "oh what are those?"

"These are for you miss; the prince had these picked for you. He seems to have taken quite the liking to you," Gracie said as she set them in a near by vase. I just smiled unsure what to think of it all. This was a much better situation then back at the castle, so what am I to think of it all? I didn't have an answer at that moment so I kept quiet as I looked at some of the dresses uncertain of what exactly I wanted to wear.

"So what one of these do you think will go best for tonight?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"The red one is a great dress for a night like this one. Everyone will be there tonight and with the way the prince is going to want to show you off you should wear this one," Gracie said pulling the dress down to show it to me. WOW… it was so beautiful. Red satin and puffy… oh but how low that cut on the chest is. The lord might not be happy with it… he's been trying to keep me covered all my life. But this is a new place; I need to be like everyone else. I let Gracie help me fit into the dress as she tied up the back extremely tight nearly making me pass out from the lack of air passage.

"Um I am not so sure about this dress I think it is too tight my breast look as if they are about to fall out," I said trying to cover myself as she handed me some white long gloves.

"That is the look and they are firmly in there. You look amazing," she said messing with my hair trying to find away she wanted it; she ended up simply tying some of it back with a red ribbon. I looked at myself in the mirror for a couple of minutes before following Gracie out of the room down to the court yard where the guests were gathering. I felt people stare at me as I walked past them Gracie following behind me. How was I to know that rumors would spread fast, if only I knew what they were whispering!

--Sesshomaru--

I made my way up to Rin's room so that I could invite her down to dinner with us. We hadn't spent any time together since we had gotten here, guilt had eaten me alive and I couldn't face her. But I miss her. I miss her so much… I wonder what she is doing. So this is her new room? It is very close… too close to the prince's room. I can't help but let out a sigh for my jealous ways as I knock on her door. Why was there no answer? Why was Rin not in her room? So I search the castle for signs of Rin, but all I find is that stupid Jaken.

"Where is Rin?" I ask bluntly getting tired of this escapade through this ridiculous castle. Humans, Youkai… and hanyou all together, despicable.

"She is in the court yard my lord she has been for a little while now. I cannot mingle with those people, there are too many humans for my liking my lord," Jaken said throwing his beak into the air as if he was too good for them. I barely noticed the growl as I took off for the court yard, what was she doing unattended? What was she doing? There she is… Rin?

To be continued…

Author's note-

Hope you all enjoyed… I am going to do this for a few chapters and I hope you can all handle it. I am going to do more of story telling instead of one person narrative or whatever it is called. Thanks yall!


	11. Black and white

Chapter 11. Black and white:

--Sesshomaru--

I barely had enough sense to keep control of the demon with in as my blood began to boil. WHAT was she wearing?! What… what… oh how, I… speechless. I just need to cool down; I just need to… get over there NOW!

"Rin!" I growled making her jump as she spun around making me nearly fall over. What… wow, I mean… WHAT. How, why… she… oh keep control of yourself. I couldn't help but swallow before turning to walk away before I made a fool of this Sesshomaru. Never had I been so totally off my guard like that. I couldn't let anyone ever see me that weak again, but oh no there it was… her sweet voice calling my name. I never thought this could have happened… why did I let this happen? 

"Sesshomaru!" she yelled chasing after me her hands finding my sleeve where once an arm was. Sometimes I felt this made me less… then what I was what I am. 

"Rin…" I stopped when we were away from others ears and eyes, hidden behind a maze of tall bushes. 

"I didn't know you didn't want me here," Rin said worriedly, "what have I done to make you angry?"

"What are you wearing? You've… do you have no shame?" I asked trying to hide the fact that I saw the hurt on her face as she slowly looked down.

"I am just trying to blend in," she said trying to not let me see that she was crying, "You haven't been around lord Sesshomaru. I've been sitting around watching people go by and wondering why you didn't want to be around me anymore. I'm sorry if I have offended or embarrassed you in any way."

"Why couldn't you wait for me Rin? Why would you just assume that I… Rin I left because I lost your necklace and knew how much you loved it. I couldn't face you until I had that necklace. I didn't want you to…" how do I tell her I love her and didn't want her to stop loving me without saying those exact words, "I didn't want to lose your… devotion."

"I love you Sesshomaru always forever near and far everywhere I will be with you, everything I will do for you if you asked my lord," Rin said smiling at him, "I don't need a necklace to feel that way. Devoted or any other."

"Rin…" was all I could say what do I say to that, "what do you want me to say Rin."

"Say you'll always love me forever, never stop never whatever, near or for at all everywhere and everything," Rin said looking up deep into my eyes trying to fish for answers on how I felt for her. I… want to… how I want to but I can't.

"Rin," I started stuttering trying to answer her. All I could do was hand her the necklace, Rin must have caught the way I was looking at her for a brief moment or something because she grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Help me put it on," she said not caring that it happened to be dirty. I looked at her blankly as I took it from the palm of her small hand. She slowly turned lifting up her long hair as my arm looped through her own so I could string it around her neck. I felt as my wrist touched the top of her breast and I felt the animal inside me want to take over. Her hand touched mine taking one end as she used the other hand to hold up her long silky wonderful smelling hair up as I clasped the necklace together. My hand fell to her shoulder turning her around intoxicated by her smell. She looked up at me with deep brown eyes as my hand found her hair as we never broke eye contact, is this what love felt like? Why was I denying it? Why was I letting something so amazing get away? That's right… to protect her. My hand almost found her face before I gripped her shoulder.

"I told you I can't give you what you want Rin. I am your lord and you are my charge, I will always protect you and be there for you no more no less," I said before turning to leave her there not wanting to see the hurt on her face. So close I came to caving, so close I came to letting go… to letting myself be free. 

--Rin--

I sat there for a moment touching the necklace that rested on my chest as I watched him walk away. I stood there with a broken heart; yes I must admit I tried to spell it out for him though it would never be that simple. If he just realized what I realized that we would be perfect for each other. If he could just realize… I'm on his side, if only I could tell him to take time to realize this heart could pass him by. But I can't spell it out for him. What do I do? It doesn't matter because he is so damn stubborn! That stupid prideful… I won't think on this anymore I shall go enjoy the rest of my night. 

"Rin," a deep voice caught my attention making me spin around with quickness. I smiled as I saw Halder standing there with a giant grin. 

"Is everything alright?" I asked as his eyes fell upon the necklace dangling from my neck.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Halder said a look I hadn't seen before. He seemed a little upset, or perhaps the light just made it seem so, "I heard you and Sesshomaru arguing. Did he give that to you?"

"Well yes he did isn't it lovely?" I asked smiling innocently. It faded when he sighed unsure what to say, "Lord Sesshomaru gave it to me some time ago and I gave it to him to hold onto to protect him. A promise between us, we were not arguing… he lost my necklace and brought it back to me."

"Well," he said walking up closer staring at it, "you look very beautiful tonight."

"Really?" I smiled up at him backing away slightly uncomfortable with the closeness. 

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked touching my bare shoulder. I just looked from his clawed hand to his face before shaking my head no, "good."

"It is getting late your majesty I think I should retire to my room," I said trying to be as polite as possible. He just nodded realizing that I was slightly hesitant about him, so he simply took my hand in his and kissed it.

"Well then until tomorrow milady," he said releasing my hand making me feel a little nervous yet intrigued. I wanted to see more of him, he was so nice that I couldn't help but fall for him a little. I smiled before nodding yes and then turning to leave. I went to my room where I thought of both Sesshomaru's rejection and Halder's affection. 

Rin woke up early almost before the sun had risen, and took off out her door. The hard wooden floor was freezing against her bare feet as she snuck down to Jaken's room. Her white long cotton night dress dragged on the floor nearly making her trip when she happened to step on it. It was extremely early, but Rin needed to talk to Jaken she wanted to know what was going on with Lord Sesshomaru. He had taken off once again late at night… it was the third day in a row where he would leave in the night. Rin didn't expect to hit something that knocked her down, looking up she noticed her lord standing there. He had apparently returned from his little adventure without her. 

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said not expecting to see him, especially in her nightgown. He looked down at her without a word before walking past her heading for his room. Rin frowned before jumping up and following her lord who slammed the door behind him. Rin knocked on his door extremely loudly, but no answer so she did it again and kept doing it until she got an answer. 

"I do not wish to be disturbed," Sesshomaru said looking at her with no kindness on his face. Rin just glared at him.

"What have you been up to lord Sesshomaru," she said placing her hands on her hips. 

"You have no right nor place to ask me such a question or in the manner you asked it," Sesshomaru said nearly shutting the door in her face.

"Do not push me away," Rin cried catching him off guard. He stopped in his place the door half way closed, he slowly opened it to see tears in Rin's eyes as she asked, "do you plan on leaving us?"

"Come in Rin," he said grabbing her arm and pulling her into his room. It was very different then hers… it was dark and almost scary. Her lord liked his things that way; even though she did not understand it she respected it. 

"Do you lord Sesshomaru? Are you leaving us again… are you leaving me again?" Rin cried grabbing at his sleeve.

"Rin I never left you," he said catching her off guard. He could not look her in the eyes as she clung to him, her eyes was his weakness it made him want to cave. Rin couldn't help but stare up at him her mind wondering with hopeful dreams that he couldn't let himself cave into. 

"What?" she finally asked making him sigh as he turned to look at her, "I've never left you Rin and nor will I leave you. I promised to protect you and protect you I will do. But I cannot always be there with you." 

"Then where do you keep leaving to?" Rin asked swallowing nervously. He smiled down at her his hand finding her shoulder as he reassured her.

"Protecting you," he said before pushing her aside and walking to his chair and large desk which had maps and parchments scattered across it. 

"From what lord Sesshomaru?" she asked walking to the table. 

"You know about Naraku and the treachery he has caused so many. He has taken so much from so many. Do you remember Kikyo?" Sesshomaru asked sitting in his giant round furry chair.

"Of course she was that miko who liked Inuyasha and he her. The one who Kagome was reincarnated after, I wonder how Kagome is. I didn't like that Kikyo she was very cold… and she never really smiled," Rin said feeling bad for her fate but not liking the fact she had tried to tare Inuyasha and Kagome from each other. 

"Yes well she was that way because of Naraku," Sesshomaru said leaning back as if he was extremely tired from his travels, "well prince Halder's grandfather had two boys by a human woman Halder's father who was a friend of my fathers and a boy who did not want to be king so he took off and had two daughters with a human woman. Kikyo and her sister, that old woman with the eye patch on one eye." 

"Oh really?" Rin said intrigued by it all, "so then Kikyo is Halder's cousin? So then Halder is not a youkai but in fact a hanyou?"

"Yes so you can see how there would be a huge rival between Naraku and Halder's family. And he would not be considered completely a hanyou for he has more youkai blood then hanyou. His father who was a hanyou yes happened to marry a woman who was of high youkai blood," Sesshomaru said disliking the whole mix, "but Naraku has off and on been sending attacks upon Kikyo's family line mostly this one for its high threat to him for many years. My father once needed aid and Halder's father came to his aid which made them have an surprising alliance, so my father gave his word that when ever him or his family was in need his family would aid them in a battle. That is why I am here, and since you are here I must make sure that this place is completely safe and posses no threat to you."

"So then Halder… he isn't such a bad guy?" Rin said shyly making Sesshomaru look at her with curiosity. 

"I grew up with him a little, he is no threat but he isn't a very good man," Sesshomaru said looking at her, "he has a temper and has a short fuse. Believe me I taught him a few lessons when we were a kid. He is an ally, but I wouldn't go as far as really calling him a friend or at least a close one."

"Really?" Rin giggled, "Well he has been really nice to me."

"Has he now?" Sesshomaru said giving her a look that showed a little bit of jealousy but self restraint as well. 

"Yes he has," Rin said smiling making him look down at papers so she couldn't see the anger in his eyes.

"What have you been doing while I've been gone," Sesshomaru demanded more then asked.

"A lot Sesshomaru he's shown me almost his entire kingdom and all the pretty gardens around. We've done a lot of talking he seems incredibly nice my lord," Rin said innocently, "he's been very good company."

"Well he was supposed to be coming up with a strategy for war," Sesshomaru said looking up at Rin, "do not distract the prince anymore."

"Oh," Rin said thinking about it a minute, "but…"

"That is not a question Rin that is an order," Sesshomaru said looking at her seriously, "you are to no longer distract him."

"You leave me here constantly and then take away my only friend it isn't fair!" Rin yelled feeling outraged. 

"He is not your friend!" Sesshomaru said standing up making Rin turn and run away. Rin nearly ran Halder over before he grabbed her arm stopping her. 

"What is wrong Rin why are you crying?" Halder asked both his hands gripping her shoulders. 

"I can't see you anymore," Rin said not looking at him trying to pull away. 

"What are you talking about?" he laughed thinking she was joking.

"I am not allowed to distract you anymore," Rin said sniffling. Halder just smiled a charming smile as he lowered himself so he could look her in the eyes, he reminded her of a full youkai version of Inuyasha almost, "I'm sorry for being a distraction." 

"You are no distraction you are my muse," he said making her smile, "and you encourage me with all of your wild opinions that make so much sense. And no one will stop me from seeing you."

"Really?" Rin asked feeling for once as if someone would do anything to be near her. 

"Really," he reassured her, "and I will go tell Sesshomaru myself right now."

"Oh no," Rin said trying to stop him as he stormed down the hall Rin chasing after him trying to stop him afraid Sesshomaru would lose his temper and kill him like he did to everyone else. 

"Sesshomaru we need to talk," the prince said after pounding on the door and then walking in. 

"How dare you come to me in that tone," Sesshomaru growled dangerously. Rin stood outside of the door clutching her necklace in fear. 

"How dare you tell Rin that she cannot see me anymore because she distracts me, and if she distracts me then that is my choice," Halder said growling back.

"Is that what this is about?" Sesshomaru almost laughed. 

"Yes that is what this is about. You will not stop me from seeing her she is an amazing girl and she inspires me Sesshomaru and you for once cannot stop that," Halder said making Rin bite her lip nervously he was getting dangerously close to flipping Sesshomaru's switch. 

"Is that what this is about are you using her as a way to get back at me for all the times I 'stopped you' from the stupid things you wanted to do because your father put me in charge?" Sesshomaru growled ready to dispose of the little pest.

"Don't be so childish this is not about that, this is about Rin and I…" Halder began and either Sesshomaru was tired of his disrespect or the sound of 'Rin and I' coming out of a man's mouth threw him off. His large hand found Halder's neck and he slammed him against the wall. Rin squealed before running into the room grabbing Sesshomaru's arm.

"Please stop your hurting him!" Rin screamed as Sesshomaru's eyes began to turn as Halder glared back pretending that the fact he couldn't breathe didn't bother him. It was Rin's deep cry that brought Sesshomaru back down, "Sesshomaru!!"

"Get out of here," Sesshomaru threw Halder down as Rin fell to his side, "so you have taken his side then Rin?" 

"I have taken no side," Rin said angrily as she looked up at him disappointed. But only if she knew that it was her that saved him from killing Halder on the spot. Halder stood up glaring angrily before storming off. Rin stopped outside of the door to look in where Sesshomaru sat looking out the door, "Thank you. I will see you later alright?"

"Alright," he said taking her hand and kissing it. Rin turned around and walked back into the room making Sesshomaru's ears prick.

"There's a place in your heart nobodies been Sesshomaru take me there… because I don't understand some times," Rin said laying against his back wrapping her arms around him making him close his eyes feeling a little at peace, "what made you who you are… what's your story?"

"You already know Rin…because you're already in there in my heart," Sesshomaru said catching her off guard. Rin left it at that and neither talked as she sat next to him. 

Rin spent the next day with Sesshomaru, he did not run off this day to go to mysterious places and make sure Rin was safe. She was safe because he was beside her, watching her, protecting her. She smiled up at him as she picked some flowers in her maroon dress with a gold waist. He couldn't help but let his mind wonder as he watched her. What would it be like to take her as his mate? It was very common around this area after all. But where he came from that would be a sign of weakness, they had to keep their relationship the way it was. He sighed wondering what it would be like when the time came when he'd have to live without her. He nodded when she stopped to wave at him before running with a bunch of flowers.

"Here," Rin said handing him a flower before throwing the rest up in the air to fall around them. She was something else, truly… she didn't see all the ugliness in which others did, she looked past his flaws and all the things he did wrong, the mean things he said to her. He wanted to tell her he loved her, he wanted to tell her there was no one else above her, that she filled his heart with gladness, she took away all his sadness, eased his troubles that's what she did. 

"I don't need it Rin," he said looking at the tiny blue flower in his hand.

"I know," Rin said smiling, "but keep it… let it remind you of me."

"I don't need it to think of you," he said accidentally making her smile fade before she burst out laughing at the look on his face. 

"Good," Rin said biting the side of her lip smiling at him before standing up again. She took off through the field again making him smile as she leaped avoiding the flowers so she could get to where she tied up her gray stallion. The way she rode that horse made something in him turn as he watched her movements. He quickly looked down trying to push those perverted thoughts out of his head. He looked back up not wanting to look away again, afraid to miss even a second of it. Would he always have her? She waved as her horse trotted beautifully in a circle and then stopped to stand on his hind legs at her command. She watched him curious at the way he was looking at her as he sat crisscrossed on the ground. If only she was close enough to read in his eyes how much he wanted to soak her, to watch her as if every minute would be the last minute. If only she knew that what she was doing was tearing him apart, filling up his mind, and emptying his heart. 

"Rin," he called out making her give the gray stallion a soft kick so he would trot through the field to where he sat surrounded by the very things he once had no respect or like for… flowers. 

"Yes lord Sesshomaru," Rin said stopping when she reached his side. 

"It is getting late," Sesshomaru said standing up so he could be level with her. Rin smiled big at him.

"Shall we go home?" Rin said pulling the reins back to keep her horse from moving, "it should be near dinner time."

"That is not our home that is not your home," Sesshomaru said a little more harshly then needed. Rin swallowed blinking at him to hold back the fear.

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru I am sorry," Rin said gripping the reins tighter as he turned his back towards her and walked off slowly.

"And when this war is over… we are leaving," Sesshomaru added as she followed behind hurriedly. 

"Welcome milady," Halder said kissing Rin's hand when she walked in a beautiful white and gold trimmed dress that hugged her tightly. Rin just smiled at him sweetly as Sesshomaru walked in behind her a dangerous look in his eyes. He would never admit out in the open he was jealous, but in his heart and mind he was extremely jealous at the thought of her being with anyone else. She was his and no one else's, and he would see to that if he had to. But why if he couldn't let himself be hers openly did he have to make it so she couldn't be with anyone else? He didn't care he just had to keep her to himself until… until it suited him. 

"Thank you for your invitation Lord Halder," Rin said politely before passing him by and taking a seat. Sesshomaru sat next to her and Jaken on the other side of her. Halder didn't mind the obvious attempt at keeping him from her side, but he didn't mind sitting across from them so that he could look at her. She was so charming… so amazing. 

"So when do we plan on marching out?" an older youkai with dark hair said as he took a bite of his food. 

"Well we have men out to the source of our information. We have the whereabouts of Naraku and have needs of a strategy now," Halder said as he faced his peers and servants.

"Why don't we just attack we've been waiting on it!" a man busted out tired of the wait.

"I agree with him the more we sit like sitting ducks the more risks of another and possible greater attack presents itself," a man with long brown hair who seemed to be human said.

"Yes but if you just attack without strategy you leave yourselves vulnerable and your city defenseless," Sesshomaru said engaging in the conversation. 

"Well Sesshomaru where we come from we never leave our city unattended and if we wait to strategize we become a larger target as he grows closer to us," the man argued back. 

"But don't you think that Naraku will expect an out right attack?" Rin asked unable to control her curiosity. 

"Excuse me?" the man asked looking to the girl he had never really seen before. Rin just cowered a little.

"Well Naraku will be expecting you to just go and attack him. Don't you think that he will have an army prepared for battle ready for your invasion? He is not stupid, yes he happens to make mistakes but they end up in his favor… it would be foolish to just stumble into his grasps he will squash any in his path. He will have a plan of his own," Rin said fiddling with her dress under the table; her eyes glanced over to Halder who watched her with his hand on his chin and a small smile. 

"She is correct," Halder said making the brown haired man look at Halder angrily.

"She is just a child, she knows nothing of war and blood shed…" before he could finish Sesshomaru jumped to her aid.

"She has seen a lot of war and blood; she has had to take the wrath of Naraku as long as she has been by my side. Because of me she is the biggest target always has and until he is destroyed always will be," Sesshomaru said plainly making Rin smile at him admirably. 

"How does that make it so she knows about how to handle such a situation?" the man asked challenging Sesshomaru's voice.

"Because I say so," Sesshomaru said before glancing at her from the corner of his eye. Halder watched intrigued by the conversation, Rin smiled looking down at her food. 

"That settles it we shall come up with a strategy," Halder said eating his food, "now everybody eat."

Author's note- About time Sesshomaru stand up for Rin! I figured it was time for him to show a little public admiration and affection in some weird verbal defensive way. 


	12. A hero

Chapter12. A hero:

Authors note- I have been writing these all one after the other taking breaks here and there so I am sorry if there is a lot of spelling and stuff wrong I just want to get as much done by the time my internet is back on and I no longer get the computer. 

WARNING- Fluff alert… there will be some fluffiness with Rin and Sesshomaru in this chapter perhaps more then normal. There will be more and more fluff through out the story from now on… so if you don't like it then I sorries ha ha ha. But yeah… on with the story. 

Rin woke up ready to go meet Halder for their daily walk around the town. Sesshomaru was once again too busy to keep her company coming up with a strategy that would increase his chances of coming back to Rin. Rin was dressed in a yellow and white dress as she walked with Halder through the cobblestone streets.

"So are you not afraid to go back to war?" Rin asked as she fiddled with a white flower she had plucked from someone's garden. 

"No," he said simply as he held his hands behind his back. He looked up into the sky; it was blue with puffy white clouds and a bright yellow sun. Birds were flying enjoying the warming rays as they played with each other. 

"Why not?" Rin asked as she looked over at some school kids playing and smiled missing those days when she was their age.

"Because I know I am protecting the ones and things that I care about," Halder said looking at her as she stared at all the beautiful things in his kingdom. She was most enjoying watching the youkai, hanyou, and human children playing together as equals. 

"But aren't you scared you won't make it back to see those things?" Rin asked before bringing her attention back to him.

"If it is meant to be that I should give my life for theirs I will. Of course I fear dying, but I do not fear death," Halder said making her look at him almost admiring that answer.

"I do not fear dying, I fear and pity death. It is a lonely, lonely thing… I would know," Rin said looking down sadly, "I fear leaving those behind that I cannot live without."

"How would you know death? You are no where near it… I would not allow it," Halder said smiling at her triumphantly.

"Nor would Lord Sesshomaru," Rin smiled making him not feel so triumphant; "he saved me from death once… more like spared me. I was already dead and he brought me back, I was killed by a pack of wolves. After that he protected me killing anyone who wishes me harm… it is Naraku now who is the only one who has ever come close enough to killing me."

"So is that why Sesshomaru despises him so?" Halder said looking down. 

"I am sure that might be a part of it but he despises him because of all the destruction he has brought," Rin said reassuring him, "at least I think that is what it is. He never did quite tell me why he wanted him dead so badly."

"It doesn't matter let us enjoy our day without thoughts of war and death," Halder said before a man came running up completely frustrated, "yes Galto."

"Things aren't going right in the practice court," a young soldier said completely frustrated, "we need your help my lord."

"I have to attend to some things I am so sorry Rin," Halder said clearly frustrated.

"I have nothing to do for the rest of the day… please let me come along," Rin said giving him the sweetest undeniable smile. He nodded his approval and she followed along to the training yard. She was in aw at all the men who were training; there were some amazing fighters… and some very poor ones who would die quickly. This saddened Rin very much. Halder got into deep conversation with some generals as Rin walked to a younger man who was her age maybe a little younger struggling with a bow. He missed the whole target each time, "your frame is very weak."

"Excuse me? Oh… I know I am no good," the boy said almost giving up. Halder watched nearly getting the wrong idea and ready to storm over there when he saw her take the bow from him and place an arrow in releasing it. 

"Wow," both Halder and the boy said when it hid the middle target. Rin smiled standing behind the boy pushing on the middle of his back so that he could get in the right position as she set his arms in the right angle. She then had him release that position and get back into it three times before firing his first arrow. 

"I'm Soton," the black haired human boy said shaking her hand after he finally hit where he aimed for. 

"I'm Rin," she smiled shaking his hand. Halder walked up behind her clapping.

"That was amazing Rin," Halder said placing his hands on her shoulder, "why didn't you tell me you were an archer?"

"Lord Halder," Soton bowed in respect as Halder acknowledged him. 

"I have been for a little while now, I am not so great with a sword," Rin said happily, "I had to learn something to protect me when I left my home to find Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken."

"Here," Halder said handing her a sword. Rin looked at it nervously, "when you've learned to master a human sword then you can learn to wield a master sword."

"But I thought only youkai can do that," Rin said confused as she looked at the sword in her hand.

"Not at all only youkai know the secret, they would have never shared it with human kind. All it takes is good knowledge, strength with a sword, and a good connection to something. Youkai have a good connection with things dark and most cruel so they make their swords out of those things you could say so that is what gives their swords their strength. My sword is made of my father's bones and my grandfather's blade as well a lock of what was left of my great grandfather's mane. It's a very strange combination but my great grandfather was a very strong man, my grandfather a very wise man, and my father a very powerful man. For humans it takes a lot more to create to them what would be a master sword, but you cannot do so unless you have the proper skills. You must KNOW a sword and its capabilities. A sword is like a book it can do many great things and can go so horribly bad you just have to read it properly and use it knowledge to great use," Halder said as he laid his beautiful white sword out on his hand so she could look it over.

"You sound so much like my lord that I'm surprised you two aren't better friends," Rin smiled up at him as her fingers crossed the cold steel of the blade as the light reflected off it.

"Pick up your sword," he said getting into position keeping his sword from transforming. Rin looked at him nervously before holding her sword out, "do not worry I will go easy on you."

"It isn't that because I trust you… I just never really used one," Rin said swallowing as she observed her sword carefully.

"It's never too late to learn," Halder said slowly thrusting his sword at her so that she could meet his sword with hers. He then came at her from a different angle in slow motion, "you're not properly holding it. Here…"

"What?" Rin said as he walked behind her gripping her wrists straightening them out.

"You're a little to relaxed, being relaxed isn't always a bad thing," Halder said as he placed her arms the way he wanted them.

"I am most definitely not relaxed," Rin said trembling as he got a little too close to her. 

"What I mean is you have no structure to your frame here," he said before they heard an angry shout from across the training yard. 

"Rin!" Sesshomaru yelled casually his face normal as he stood under the golden sun light watching the two. Rin just dropped the sword and nervously stumbled to where her lord looked most unpleased.

"Rin!" Halder called after her as he stood there so upset with the spoiled moment. He watched as Rin walked off behind Sesshomaru. 

"Lord Sesshomaru what is wrong?" Rin asked tugging on his sleeve anxiously. Sesshomaru did not say anything until they were completely alone with no one around.

"What were you doing Rin?" Sesshomaru asked trying to act as if he really didn't care.

"Nothing lord Sesshomaru," Rin said a smile on her face until he frowned at her, "he was teaching me how to properly use a sword."

"I did not have you learn the ways of the sword for a reason. I do not want you to know such things Rin," Sesshomaru said angrily, "you've disobeyed me."

"Lord Sesshomaru I didn't! He was just showing me how to defend myself… I had to learn to fight when I came to find you I just wasn't good with a sword," Rin said in her defense, "I need to learn to protect myself. You yourself said you can't always protect me."

"Rin…" Sesshomaru breathed, "Is that what you believe? Rin do you believe I would never protect you?"

"I do believe you, but I have to know how to do something useful. All I do is what you tell me too but you never ask me to help," Rin said feeling sad, "I start to feel useless."

"Rin all I've ever done was try to protect you. I gave you a home I risked my life to protect you, I risked my honor by taking you in. Since you've been around I've been deemed weak but I do not go and make you leave," Sesshomaru said looking down at her angry that she had disobeyed him, "Rin you've never been useless but you have to listen. I need to know you will do anything for me."

"I know you have and I am very grateful, and I will do anything for you Lord Sesshomaru because I'm yours," Rin said looking up at him, "because when you were gone I felt all alone and all I could think of is I want to go and home is where you are."

"I need to know Rin that you're not going to leave me, leave us I mean Jaken and me. You've grown on him and it would devastate him to lose you," Sesshomaru said swallowing, but not letting her see the fright in his eyes. 

"Just Jaken?" Rin asked biting her lip as he sighed afraid. 

"No," Sesshomaru said looking down at her sternly, "and I. Which is why Rin I need to know how devoted to us you are?"

"I am very devoted!" Rin squeaked quickly. Sesshomaru just looked at her a moment before speaking again. She took him away with the look in her eyes, it was almost too much to bear… he was caving.

"Rin, would you Dance if I asked you to dance? Would you run and never look back? Would you cry if I died? Would you save my soul tonight if it meant losing all? Would you tremble if I touched your lips?" he asked as he got closer to her his hand finding her face, "would you swear you will always be mine? Would you lie? Would you run or hide? Am I in to deep? Have I lost my mind? I don't care as long as you promise you'll stay forever. Because Rin I can be your hero, I can take away the pain, I will stand by you forever if you stand by me, because you can take my breath away. Rin… I just want to hold you. You don't have to ever fear anything because I will protect you. But…"

"Lord Sesshomaru?" she asked staring up at him confused by the look in his eyes, "yes I would."

"Rin," Sesshomaru said as his claws wrapped around a lock of her silky hair, "promise me you will never leave us."

"I'd die for you," Rin said gripping at his kimono as his hand slid down her face. The look on his face threw her off.

"That was what I was afraid of, Rin, that's why I will never give you what you long for," he said kissing her forehead before leaving Rin there. 

--Rin--

Perhaps I was just extremely thrown off by the whole situation, or I was just incredibly heart broken whatever it was… it had me glued to the scene. I was so upset that I couldn't even cry, why did he torture me so? Was this his mission? Did he take pleasure in seeing me jump through hoops just to punish me anyways? I gave him a promise and like that he stomped on it… did he not love me back? Is that the problem? Why was he so frustrating? One minute it's like he is finally about to give me what I want… what I need. Then there he goes again pushing me away making me think he doesn't need me, telling me we will never be together. How foolish I feel. To let my heart get so wrapped up in these games! 

I don't know how long I spent out in that open field, but I finally got myself to head back to the castle when it started to get darker out. I was very uncomfortably quiet at dinner, but what did I have to say? Halder was talking about having me train the archers; Sesshomaru was not present at this meeting thankfully for there would have been an argument about it… then again who knows what that argument would have turned into. I ate my dinner and then took comfort in my room. Damn you Sesshomaru! Damn you! 

"Miss Rin?" Gracie asked knocking on the door and walking in. I quickly rolled over so she wouldn't see my red and water logged eyes. 

"Yes Gracie?" I asked sniffling trying to keep my cool. Gracie sat at the end of my bed silently waiting for me to speak, "I don't like men."

"Why is that?" Gracie asked prepared to listen, "and do not worry your secrets are safe with me miss."

"My lord Sesshomaru," I said lying on my stomach holding my pillow under my head tightly.

"What about him?" Gracie asked looking over her shoulder at me. I just sighed unsure how to answer.

"I've loved him so long it seems that I can't remember when it was I first realized I loved my lord more then a friend or a leader. He's always been there for me and I never realized how much he meant to me. Since a child I followed him faithfully, and since a child my life has always been endangered. But still I do not wish to leave his side, and as of recently it seems my lord wishes to tease my affections," I said letting out a sigh that almost shook the bed. 

"It is natural for a growing girl to find comfort in those who've protected her. I am sorry to hear about your lord… but he hardly seems the loving type," Gracie said thinking about the large angelic death machine, "he is a very attractive man do not get me wrong."

"I know what you mean for you are not the first nor the last to think such a thing. But I've been there with him since I only came up to his waist and I've gotten to know him on a personal level. He has a good heart," I said thinking about my lord, "he wishes me to stay away from Halder he says because I distract him but what he means to say is he is jealous. He gets angry every time we are together, and anytime a man comes near me he gets very protective. Yet he tells me we will never be more then friends basically and that kills me. I just don't understand."

"Maybe there is something he needs to find perhaps himself before he can try to pursue a relationship," Gracie said trying to be helpful.

"I don't know about that one he has someone waiting at home for him. She tried to kill me… I never told him because I am afraid he wouldn't care," I said biting my finger as I thought about it.

"He doesn't love her arranged marriages are supposed to be beneficial not personal. A powerful man like that has only known two things in his life to fight and to lead; personal affairs aren't really an option. He wants to protect you I am sure," she said smiling over at me, "he has to find himself… he needs to find something." 

"There was one night… when he was incredibly hurt I knew he'd forget in the morning because of the medicine I made him. But he also made me his… I stopped him because he was incredibly hurt and I didn't want him to regret it… regret me," I said rolling over onto my back. 

"Aw yes that was very wise of you," Gracie said nodding her head unsure how to answer that. I itched the back of my neck before sighing then sat up holding my knees to my chest, "you know Halder has grown very fond of you correct?" 

"Your lord is a good man," I commented thinking of the handsome prince. 

"Perhaps giving him a chance wouldn't be such a bad choice?" Gracie asked smiling. I laughed and nodded.

"Perhaps… my lord can't make up my mind and I need so much more then that I suppose. I do like your lord he is a very kind and wise man," I said biting my finger nail, "although I promise Sesshomaru I would never leave him and Master Jaken."

"Promises are not bound to those who hurt you," Gracie said patting my knee, "he would understand about you looking out for yourself I am sure." 

"Yeah I suppose," I said before lying back down to rest. Gracie smiled and then said her goodbyes before going to her room. 

Rin spent a lot of her time back in the training yard with Halder. He put her to the task of training the younger less advanced archers. She held a group of her own and him of his own making it fun for both groups, they would hold tournaments and see who was better. Rin happened to be a better archer then even Halder himself that was because swordsmanship was his skill. Rin grew a little more of an attachment to Halder, he seemed sincere and kind. He was very amusing, quite the jokester always challenging her. Sesshomaru walked into the training yard one day when Halder and Rin were both facing off against each other, both took aim for a long distance shot. Both hit their mark, but it was Rin who got closest to the bulls eye. Sesshomaru watched intensely as Halder and Rin conversed about her skills. Why didn't Rin tell him that she could shoot an arrow like that? 

"Rin," Sesshomaru said in his deep voice. Rin stood there a moment looking from Halder to Sesshomaru. She knew where her allegiance was so she reassured Halder she would be back after finding out what her lord wanted, "Rin?"

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said still holding her bow and a arrow. 

"You have a very good arm with the bow. Follow me," he said leading her away. She looked over her shoulder at Halder. Sesshomaru led her to a clearing in the forest near by the city boarders. 

"Is this safe?" Rin asked nervously as she looked around remembering all the horrible things that happened out there deep in the woods. 

"I've secured this area Rin. This is where I will train you on the sword, I suppose you are right. I will be leaving shortly and there will be no one I trust here to protect you other then Jaken who you may end up needing to protect. Your life is to important for me to be prideful and stop you from doing what you need to in order to insure your complete protection," Sesshomaru said very casually, "you must know however that I will not be easy on you for the enemy will never be easy on you."

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin said happy more that she would be able to spend more time with her lord Sesshomaru.

"Rin," he acknowledged, "I may not be with you for long but you've got to be strong Rin. We will show Naraku together that even when we aren't together we are just as strong."

"Yes," Rin nodded in agreement before taking the sword from his hand. Sesshomaru lifted his own keeping it from transforming so he wouldn't harm Rin. He worked with her in slow motion so that he could see her status before teaching her the correct muscle movements.

"In order to predict an attack you must be able to know the movements from experience. It must come to you quick and fast before the others," Sesshomaru said as he stood in front of her his hand under her arm making sure she was not lowering herself too much. Rin then sped up once she started getting the hang of it, "it's getting late we should held back now."

"Yes Sesshomaru," Rin said turning around to walk back as he watched her. He was for a moment taken back by the way she swayed, the way her hair moved with her body, and the way she looked back at him as she walked through the cowering tress and smiled. 

"If only," he whispered before he himself slowly walked towards her and the castle. 

Dinner was a little more then what it was the night before, this time Sesshomaru was there to keep Rin happy. Rin smiled as she ate a roll with oats on it, Jaken had his arms crossed glaring at the other humans and hanyous. Rin looked over at Sesshomaru got up to leave for a moment at a young youkai's request; the boy seemed to have what looked like a parchment of some sort. She watched as he read the letter and then slowly made his way back to his seat beside Rin.

Rin was very curious about that stupid note which had her lord's mind for the rest of the night. But she was too entranced by him to notice anything other then him, anything other then his sweet face. He looked over at Rin in deep thought, it was as if he had seen her for the first time in a long time as she turned her head to look at him smiling peacefully before returning to his meal.

--Rin--

I faked a smile so he wouldn't see that I want that I need him and everything that we should be. She's going to get everything I'm going to have to live without. I laugh when he talks to me because it's so funny that I can't even see anyone else when he's with me. I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night… I doubt it or he wouldn't push me away so. He walked by me, wow; can't he tell I can't breathe? There he goes so perfectly the kind of flawless I wish I could be. She better hold him tight give him all her love look in those beautiful eyes and knows she's lucky. As I turn out the light tonight I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight. He's the only one who seems to have it out to break my heart… but he's the time taken up which there is never enough of. He's all that I need to fall into, so once again I will fake another smile so he won't see… how hurt he makes me.

--Sesshomaru--

Wow that smile… why does she do this to me? She could have bowed out gracefully so long ago, but she didn't. She knew well enough to leave enough alone, but she wouldn't. I tried myself crazy trying to stay out of my own way, the messes that I make but my secrets are so safe… because she's the only one who gets me. She gets me… which is amazing to me. Sometimes I come around all broken down and crowded out, and then she's my only comfort. Sometimes the places I go are so deep, dark, and desperate, and she's there by my side. I swear I don't know whether I am coming or going, and yet she is always saying something without even knowing that I am hanging onto her words with all of my might and _then_ I am alright. Everyday she saves my life. She saved my life. She saved me… she's the hero.

Authors note- I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter. I know Sesshomaru is a little more emotion bearing… but hey didn't you hear the man or youkai she saved his life!


	13. Two hearts don't always dance the same

Chapter 13. Two hearts don't always dance the same beat:

Author's note- man I think the reason I love this story so much, is the fact I understand Rin's feelings… its like I am havin' my issues cause of what I am writing. Man some guys these days… I know someone who is being EXACTLY like Sesshomaru is in this its so weird so it's like… wow why can't I be more like how I write Rin? I am a scaredy cat lol. I just sit down and take it, letting him tell me that he loves me one day and then a couple days later he's afraid to be in a relationship and stuff because of this and that. Mostly he's scared, kinda like Sesshomaru… only not as graceful and well you all know. I'm sure every girl has dealt with a girl like that, a guy who is hard to get… but if you really tried then you sure as hell could. Between you and me I think I am more scared of a relationship then he is… which is why I don't make him choose. HA HA HA HA. I think I have a new admiration for Rin.

Rin sat patiently in the training yard waiting for Halder who was running slightly late. He was very busy those days as the war got closer and closer. Finally hours later while Rin was practicing what lord Sesshomaru had taught her with a sword that had been laying there Halder had finally shown up. There was one day when no businesses were open, and the men training had a day off and yet Halder had been held up for such a long time. 

"Rin," he hollered across the court yard. Rin looked up and smiled dropping the sword and walking to him, "you got good."

"Not really I only know the basics… Lord Sesshomaru only had enough time to do that," Rin said smiling up at him.

"Well you looked pretty darn good to me," Halder said as he walked along side her, "I thought maybe we could go for a ride today. I am sorry I took so long; I have a lot to do… I've put it off for awhile now."

"So Sesshomaru was right about me distracting you?" Rin asked looking a little sadly.

"A little… no you're not a distraction because I care about you. I just need to spend a little more time on my duties," Halder said touching her face making her smile then walk past him.

"So a ride then?" asked Rin as she headed towards the stables. 

"Yes a ride it is," Halder said jogging to catch up to her. Rin grabbed her saddle and readied it for her horse as she went to gather the gray stallion.

"So where did my lord go to yesterday?" Rin asked as she tightened the cinch on her horse.

"To secure some things for us," he said looking at her curiously, "why are you so interested?"

"Because he is always leaving without me these days, normally we travel together. I just don't like… not knowing if he's alright or not," Rin said nervously, "other then me you're really his only friend especially around here."

"Yeah I suppose," Halder said as he placed on the bridal and fixed it into position on his horse's face, "you know Sesshomaru he's fine wherever he is."

"Yeah," Rin said before leading her horse out of the large barn, "are you ready?" 

"Yes let's go," he said as he jumped on his horse's back to follow Rin. They rode down from the large training yard into the city where the girls crowded around with baskets of flowers and bread. The girls all ran after him waving and screaming at the sight of their prince. He was a handsome thing, and quite the charmer, no wonder why every girl wanted a chance at him. Rin had to admit she too was slightly enamored by him, slightly really attractive and a possible alternative possibly the only considerable alternative to Sesshomaru. 

Sesshomaru stood in the wake of a powerful attack that sent clumps of earth and bushes everywhere. Sesshomaru was out numbered by quite a few youkai who were not happy by the great lord Sesshomaru's presence. He quickly dodged a direct attack for once finally finding, other then his half brother Inuyasha, a match… go figure it had to be four against once for there to be any challenge. 

"Die!" a youkai with bubbly green skin and large eyes said as he threw what looked liked knives from his fingertips. With ease Sesshomaru sliced through the air with his sword knocking back the attack, which left him open for an attack from a large beast with three heads. Sesshomaru took the attack, but didn't falter… he couldn't show any weakness. One of them had the answers he needed… one of them had Naraku's where about. 

"Which one of you knows where Naraku is?" Sesshomaru asked as he stood his ground many bodies laying spread around him.

"What make's you think we will tell you?" one with a head too small for its body. With one swoop Sesshomaru leaped into the air cutting the evil youkai in half sending disgusting black blood allover the ground. 

"You don't scare us Sesshomaru… we know what your biggest weakness is," the last of the four said. He looked more humanly with a overly large body and long black and red hair. 

"I have no weakness," Sesshomaru growled dangerously.

"Rin," he said with a smile making Sesshomaru loose it and run straight into their attacks ignoring the pain as he took them down and slowly tortured the last for answers. The last scream he ever made was the scream of Naraku's location…

"You're a good rider," Rin commented before turning her head at a terrible screeching noise deep in the forest as birds took flight in fear for their lives, "what was that?"

"I don't know… RIN!" yelled Halder after Rin who took off in the direction of the screams. She slowed the gray stallion down to a stop at the entrance of the forest when she saw her lord slowly stumbling out covered in blood she wasn't quite sure was his or someone else's. She couldn't help but let out a soft cry as he fell to his knees and she kicked her horse. The gray stallion took off up the hill as Rin leaned forward to make it easier on him as he dug his large hooves into the earth running up hill. 

"Sesshomaru!" Rin called out as she gripped her saddle for support. 

"Rin!" yelled Halder as he saw Sesshomaru sitting on his knees trying to stay awake as he used his one arm to support himself. Rin pulled back on the reins as the horse tried to plant his hooves into the earth for a quick stop. What was that? Something shot out from the woods like a blast barely missing her and her horse as he leaped on two feet, "RIN!"

"Halder!" Rin called as she jumped off her horse and grabbed her bow and arrows shooting back, "I have to get Sesshomaru out of here!"

"Watch out!" Halder yelled charging his horse so he could block another attack. Rin laid on top of Sesshomaru who tried to pull out his sword.

"No!" she tried to scream over a loud explosion as earth and plant life fell in chunks around them. She put her arm under his only arm and grabbed him examining the wounds which at times seemed to release a lot more of his own blood. She let out a cry and covered her mouth so no more would be heard.

"Don't cry Rin… that's weakness," he said softly as he winced in pain as he pulled himself up, "it's dangerous I can defend myself… leave."

"I'm not leaving you!" Rin cried out as another explosion hit the tree only this time it was Halder's attack. 

"Get Sesshomaru out of here Rin! I've got your back!" Halder yelled waiting for his opponent or by the looks of it opponents to show up. Rin nodded before walking Sesshomaru to her horse and boosting him up against his protest. He let out a gasp in pain very much uncomfortable. Rin climbed up behind him before talking to her horse.

"Do you think you can carry the both of us?" Rin asked patting his neck. He gave a snort and tossed his head up and down as he tried to adjust comfortably to the weight of two people before trying to go at a slow trot down the hill. Rin leaned back to help him with the adjustment, but it was still a little difficult and he nearly tripped a couple of times when he jumped at the sound of explosions barely missing them. Once they made it down the hill they took off at a gallop trying to make it to town which was a little bit always, "Sesshomaru…!"

"Rin," he said falling forward as she grabbed around his waist to keep him on and hugged him close to her. He could feel the raising and lowering of her breast from her quick breath against his back. His long silvery white hair mixed with hers as the horse galloped through the open field nearing the large gate to the beautiful large city. 

"Hang on Sesshomaru we are almost there," she said feeling her muscles tire from the grip she had on him, but she wouldn't give up… she would get him there safely. Finally they were in the city and people looked as Rin returned with the beautiful youkai lord in her arms bloody. Rin stopped at the castle steps and jumped off grabbing the large bow wrapped around her waist and tying it around his waist and onto the saddle so he wouldn't fall over as she grabbed the reins and led the gray stallion up the large flight of stairs. She pushed the doors open quickly before the doormen could get to it and pulled the stallion into the castle with the wounded Lord of the Western Lands, "HELP!!"

"What?!" A frantic woman ran out with another girl behind her. She was a pretty faced human girl with another older woman behind her.

"I need a nurse or a healer somebody he's hurt!" Rin cried out as she pulled the horse further into the castle and untied him. The ladies help catch him as she pulled him down, and together they carried him into a large white room where the two ladies called for some more people. They quickly changed into their nurse's outfits and helped the healers strip him of his shirt making Rin blush wanting to cover him up. There were a lot of nasty looking burns and deep gashes, but it was fixable. Rin held a hand to her mouth trying to hold back the sobs as she watched Sesshomaru laying there.

"Where is Halder?" the younger woman from before said worriedly as someone took her spot. 

"Halder? Oh… oh no we need to get some men to go and help him," Rin said as the girl looked at him angrily.

"You just left him!" she said upset.

"Sesshomaru was bleeding terribly!" Rin cried before glancing at her sleeping lord before turning to run to where the soldier's chambers were near the training field the girl following behind her. Rin told them where to go before grabbing a bow and arrow and finding her horse. Rin followed behind the men ready to help in anyway she could while her mind wondered to where Sesshomaru was. Halder wasn't looking so great either as he was out numbered by many hideous large youkai. Some men transformed into their youkai forms while others used their special weapons and the hanyou's used their weapons battling the large amount of youkai. Rin trotted to Halder who looked out of breath and wounded, but able to stand his ground and very conscious. Rin saw his horse lying not too far off bloody and lifeless, a feeling of sadness rushed over her before she pulled her stallion to a stop near Halder.

"Rin? You came back…" Halder said looking up at her in a new light. He needed help and she was there to help him. 

"Get on," Rin said as she placed a hand down and moved her feet from the stirrups so he could climb up. He clung around Rin's waist as she shot arrows which didn't do that much damage to the youkai… but helped distract them from their other battles. Finally they had taken down the youkai ridding the threat to his city; the large group turned their horses and creatures and headed back to the large city victorious. 

"Rin?" asked Sesshomaru as the healers bandaged him, "Rin…"

"She's not here right now," one of the healers responded.

"Rin… where is she?" he swallowed blinking trying to stop the light from hurting his eyes. 

"She went back for the prince," an older man said pouring some oil on one of the burns making him growl both from pain and the thought of Rin going back into danger for… him. His supposed friend… yeah right Sesshomaru didn't have friends. He slowly fell back to sleep…

"Halder!" the younger nurse said running out and helping him down. He smiled at her and squeezed her arm gently showing his appreciation for her worry, and then he turned to help Rin down even though he was hurt, "you're bleeding!"

"It's not that bad Sagoe," Halder said smiling at Rin, "are you alright?"

"My lord let me attend to your wounds please," Sagoe said not wanting to look at the look in her lords eyes which showed adoration for Rin.

"It's not necessary," Halder said patting the gray stallion's neck.

"Let her tend to your wounds," Rin said snappy, "you can get an infection. Besides I have to go look after my lord."

"Fine," he sighed before looking over to Sagoe who was already covered in blood, "are you alright?"

"What do you mean my lord?" Sagoe asked looking at him curiously. 

"You're covered in blood," Halder said following her as she began to explain the fact that she had been taking care of Sesshomaru's wounds before standing outside waiting to make sure he returned. She had always been faithful and loyal to him, always worried about him when he'd return from battle… what a good friend? 

"Sesshomaru?" asked Rin as she walked into his room with a couple of bowls and stuff as she shut the door behind her. He was fast asleep when she pulled the table close to the bed so she could set her stuff up. There was four bowls, three with some kind of concoctions and the last with a bunch of cut up fruit, a glass of water, and she had some wet and some dry rags, as well some bandage wraps. She knew how to really take care of and heal someone; with all the spare time she had she was able to learn how to cure people. Rin pulled the blanket down to reveal his chest and abdomen before unwrapping all of the bandages. Rin dipped her finger in a green substance before placing it on some of his wounds really working into the gashes. She jumped when has hand flew up and grabbed her hand, "it's me…"

"Rin?" he asked moving his hand and releasing his grip a little bit, "you weren't here when I woke up, why aren't you with him."

"Sesshomaru?" she asked as he threw her arm from his grasp. She rubbed her wrist as she looked down at him, "I had to go and help him."

"Of course," Sesshomaru said not looking at her, "why are you here Rin?"

"Why wouldn't I be!" yelled Rin angrily as she glared at him.

"You have no right to raise your voice to me Rin," he said turning to look at her hating how her red teary eyes softened his mood and made him feel like an ass.

"Yes I do! Your mad because I went back to help Halder when if it wasn't for him you and I wouldn't have made it back alive! It was the least I could do to show my gratitude for saving your life!" Rin yelled wanting to throw the glass of water on his face.

"I'm sorry Rin," he said looking away from her. She sighed before sitting back in her seat and applying more medicine to his wounds, "why did you bring fruit…"

"I didn't bring it for you I brought it for me it's not always about you don't you know," Rin said trying to hold back a smile and trying to pretend she was still angry. He surprisingly smiled himself making her let her smile roam free on the face he so loved to just sit and look at, "I know your not really a fan… but it will you heal quicker. Just a little is all you need to eat, and believe me you will eat it."

"Alright," he said simply as she applied some sort of pasty chunky goo on some of the worst gashes and placed a bandaged over them and wrapped it up tightly. She then took a sticky oily liquid and gently rubbed into his skin where large black and bubbly marks were left from severe fire damage. 

"Sit up," Rin said making him look at her strangely. But he did as she said and he sat up in pain not realizing on his back was the worst burn of all. She gently climbed onto the bed behind him and massaged it onto the burn, stopping whenever he winced… and then proceeded to rub it in gently. He glanced back at her a couple of times, one time in particular when she tied her hair up so it wouldn't fall into the bowl of oil. He slowly moved his head back forward to look out the window… when really he was watching her reflection in the window, "it might hurt when I wrap this."

"I don't mind," Sesshomaru said as she gently held it in place letting her hand slide around his waist and then stomach making his ears prick and feelings envelope him as he felt her gently hand gliding across his lower stomach so she could gather the cloth with the other hand and begin wrapping it around his waist. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to touch her, he wanted to make her his… he needed to. There was a knock on the door and before he could let himself become weak to her he was saved. Halder walked in looking a little unhappy but ignoring it.

"Halder," Rin said smiling at him.

"Halder," Sesshomaru growled making both Rin and Halder look at him before he nodded respectfully. 

"Sesshomaru," Halder nodded in respect back before turning to Rin and smiling, "Rin. Can I talk to you a moment?"

"Um… yes," Rin said making Sesshomaru look away angrily so that Rin could not see the hurt and betrayal in his usual cold and careless eyes. 

"Halder what is it?" Rin asked when they were away from Sesshomaru's ears. 

"I wish for you tonight to come to my dance I am throwing a big festival for the whole city. I truly wish for you to be there tonight, for I have an important question to ask you," he said taking both her hands in his.

"Why not ask me now?" Rin asked giving off a nervous smile hoping to not show how nervous she really was.

"No… tonight I will ask you, no sooner no later. Tell me Rin, no promise me Rin… promise me you will be there," Halder said kissing her hand and pleading with her through his large brown green eyes.

"I will come tonight," Rin said nervously, "but I cannot promise and do not take offense if I cannot make it."

"Well I hope that you will," he said kissing her lips gently before turning to leave. A small smile that faded quickly came to her lips as she touched them gently. Rin sighed before walking back to the room.

"What did you talk about?" Sesshomaru asked not looking back at her.

"He is having a festival tonight and he wishes for… us to appear," Rin said nervously, "it was nothing really. Would you like to go back to your room now?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru said standing up ready to go back to his room and get out of that bright room. Rin helped him though he didn't fully need it he just liked having her help him for the moment… mostly he liked her touching him. She led him to his room and for a moment she let him go to turn around and shut the door and then he noticed it… how had he forgotten, "Rin…"

"What?" she asked turning around to look at her before he grabbed her arms and spun her around.

"I am sorry," he said as his finger tips glided across the large N branded a little bit under her shoulder. 

"Oh yeah," Rin said softly before turning away so she could look up at him. Her hand fell on his chest gently, "it doesn't hurt anymore. It looks worst then it really is."

"No… I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you," he said touching her face with his finger tips as he looked down at her. 

"But you were with me the whole time," Rin said smiling up at him. He looked down at her curiously, "you were there in my head and heart."

"Rin," he said softly not realizing she thought he was about to push her away again when he wasn't.

"Please don't," Rin said looking down, "I can't bare to hear you push me away again… not again."

"No," he said standing there looking down at her, "I wasn't going to push you away."

"Lord Sesshomaru I need to talk to you," Rin said biting her lip, "I need to know because I can't keep waiting. Do you love me?"

"Rin…" he said caught off guard. Was this his chance to keep her from the arms of Halder, "Rin I… I do love you and I have. But we can't be together… I can't be with you I am not capable of it."

"Don't you realize that I am on your side? Didn't I tell you…? But I can't spell it out for you, no it's never going to be that simple, I can't spell it out for you so take time to realize I am on your side. Take time to realize that this all could pass you by, didn't I tell you? It's never the same if you don't feel it too… if you meet me half way, if you would meet me half way it could be the same for you. If you'd just realize what I just realize that we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another, just realize what I just realized then we'd never half to wonder if we missed out on each other. If you'd just realize what I just realized," Rin said gripping at his shirt as she tried to hold back tears, 'please save me from going with him…'

"Rin we can't be together… but I don't want you with anyone else," Sesshomaru said trying to keep a hold of himself, "I don't want you to be with anyone else."

"Sesshomaru," Rin said biting her lip not knowing what to say.

"Promise me you won't be with anyone else," he said grabbing her arms, "don't be with anyone else."

"Alright," she said feeling her legs shake weakly. Why did she put herself out there like that to get torn down? Why was he denying her when he knew in his heart he was being a fool? When he knew he'd regret his choice later on down the road? Rin just looked up at him unsure what to add in, "I… have to go."

"Rin?" he asked as she stepped backwards nervously. She just gave a fake smile as usual said she was alright and understood, turned and left. 

--Rin--

Why is he so damn stubborn? That idiot! To push me into the arms of another… yet he knows not what he does. That poor stupid Sesshomaru… to ask me to not be with anyone else! How selfish… am I too spend my life alone then for his selfish greed and pride? No I must show him that… no I can't maybe I shouldn't go to this dance for perhaps the lord will ask me to stay and I cannot stay as badly as I want to. I must admit however that Halder I had only thought of a good way to perhaps make Sesshomaru jealous and possibly stand up and be man enough to take me as his, but I've found myself growing rather fond of lord Halder. Perhaps I shall go to this festival and I shall try to look my best, maybe I will have a special dress made for tonight. 

"You call miss?" Gracie asked walking into the room. 

"Yes… I would like a dress made for tonight how would I come to do so?" I asked politely as Gracie smiled and nodded.

"Just a moment miss," Gracie said before leaving my room and entering again with three women. They had bags full of things as they measured me so they could make the perfect dresses for me… one that wasn't loose nor overly tight. I stood still the whole time as they picked through the perfect patterns and the right colors for tonight. I waited patiently throughout the day as they made it and fixed on some beautiful decorations. Gracie finally came in with a large box and a smaller one on top. This was my last chance to show Sesshomaru the woman I have become… so I needed the perfect dress to help.

"It's the perfect dancing dress," Gracie said smiling big as she set it on my giant bed. 

"But I… don't know how to really dance," I said scratching the back of my head as Gracie bit her lip a moment before running out of the room and disappearing for quite some time. When she returned she had a very eccentric youkai with her. 

"I heard that you do not know how to dance?" he said with an accent making me try not to laugh. 

"No sir I do not," I said taking a deep breath trying to push his funny accent out of my head. 

"Well that be no good," he said taking my hand and pulling me off the bed. I jumped as his hand found my waist, "first you must learn to be a swan at the slow dance."

"A swan?" I asked as he took my hand and pushed me back making me nearly fall. I wasn't quite used to being touched like that I must admit, but after an hour I began to take comfort as Gracie had someone play some sort of instrument that was lovely. I began to learn to follow his move as he spun me and brought me in. It was amazing once I got the hang of it, "I feel more like a turtle… I move so slowly."

"No you now be a swan that is what slow dancing is. Now… you must be a goddess or a graceful prancing horse when the music quickens. To truly make a youkai or man desire you first you must learn to dance the secret language of passion," he said making Gracie smile wider and then I realized she had a small thing for the dancing instructor, "something faster sir. Here put on your shoes you must learn to dance in them." 

"Oh yes alright," I said nervously as I put them on my feet and then met him as he stood behind me. 

"Loosen yourself sway to the beat move your hips. No LOOSEN your hips you are being so tense, you must learn to twirl and twist and display yourself!" he said his hands on my hips pushing me as I stood in shoes with weird pointy heels which I had a hard time balancing in, "the first step to dancing is being loose and agile you are young and can still get your body to move in the directions you desire."

"Alright just stop pushing," I said before my ankle bending the wrong way and I fell over hearing Gracie catch her laugh with her hand before running to help me. I had a large angry face on before I started laughing as I dusted my dress off and got back into position. 

"Apparently first you must learn to walk," he said a hand on his chin, "alright walk to that wall and then back ten times. Yes good, good… no shake your hips more when your walk. You need to GLIDE into each step."

"Alright," I said wiping the sweat from my brows as I tried to balance and then swivel my hips. I noticed the more I swiveled into my steps the easier walking in the shoes got. Eventually I had the walk down, and yet it was already the middle of the day I had to work harder other wise this would never work. 

"Good, good, now come here and stand in front of me. To dance with a partner like this you must first learn to dance on your own," he said as he placed his hands on my waist again showing me the hip action slowly before the music started and then he made me move to the beat. He constantly had the beat changing so I could learn to find the beat on my own, and eventually he had me twisting and turning and using my arms on my own. I found a lot of enjoyment in this… and a lot of pain which I would be feeling tomorrow in my hips, thighs, arms, and back, "you are doing magnificent! You are now a young filly… you must now being the graceful horse!"

"Good job!" Gracie said clapping a faster beat which I found myself naturally dancing to spinning and using my feet to my advantage. He then took my hands and joined in… wow he was good. Better yet he gave me even more of a challenge… to keep up with him. His movements were flawless, beautiful, amazing, and on fire, yet he was able to focus on me and getting me to move. I followed his every movement as the sounds of a clap and music caught my steps and helped me move in the way that I needed to until I could do it on my own. I was so enamored by this… it was so different then the dancing I had seen before, he was so different then anyone I had ever met like half the people around this great city as well. Everyone lived in harmony no matter where they came from or what their background was. So many travelers stopped by in hopes of a temporary shelter and found themselves compelled to establish a permanent residents. 

"You are very well on your way to being the goddess of the night," he said as he released my hand and I spun my dress flying in the air as I threw my hands up and then threw my arm out so he could take it and pull me back to him. He brought me close before grabbing my waist with one arm throwing his free arm out as he threw me down and catching me half way down and holding me in that position his free hand finding the top of my chest as he bent over me my hair brushing the floor as I arched my back just right. I jumped up and clapped excitedly jumping up and down.

"Again! Again!" I yelled as I jumped up and down excitedly. The plucking of the instrument and the fast beat of Gracie's clapping got me to move once again. I spun around before stopping and placing my foot forward as I had seen him do with his very precise, strict, demanded feet movements which made him smile as I held my hand out which made him nod his head before taking a step to each and every plucking beat as he circled me grabbing my waist from behind and spinning me around a couple times taking my hand and pacing the other on my hand as he pushed me into a forward dip which I nearly lost my balance too but he caught me by quickly pulling me back and spinning me throwing me back and pulling me in and himself spinning as he released me so I could do my own thing. I danced to the beat like I had done it all my life, I enjoyed this life style very much it was indeed very much so different. I danced turning to my left and then my right my feet dancing to the beat as I spun my hair flung through the wide open air as he came up behind me his arms gliding down mine until they found my waist and then he pushed off of me and spun as I flung my arms out twirling until his hand found mine and he pulled me in once more. 

"Think of it this way my dear… it is a story between two possibly three," he said as he grabbed my hand and spun me before pulling me back and taking me waist gliding me along my floor, "it can be a sad tale of two torn apart, a love that is just a growing, or a love that has lasted forever. It could be a tale of surrender, or a tale of a chase."

"Which one are we doing?" I asked as he gently moved with me two steps to the left then two to the right.

"We are doing a dance of two birds… one wants to fly away and the other the male or the female is trying to keep them," he said pushing me away as I twirled and stopped and watched him as he slowly walked towards me to the slow melody sliding his foot before taking my waist and placing a hand on my chest and pushing me back and holding me. His hand glided up over my neck and grasping it to hold me there as his hand glided up my back to my arm so he could grab it and pull it spinning me in the weirdest beautiful way making me fan out as he quickly pulled me in holding me close as he slowly dipped me again my arm hanging loosely and then finding his arm and sliding up and we held that position for some time.

"Wow," I gasped feeling exhilarated… his movements were so beautiful. He was teaching me in ways I never thought I would learn, "you're wonderful."

"Isn't he?" Gracie shrilled making me look at her and him smile at her, "he's been teaching the prince also! I saw them once and knew he was the best!"

"Have you taken lessons from him?" I asked Gracie whose smile faded.

"No sadly I haven't," Gracie said looking down. I just looked to him who smiled before releasing me and bowing before taking Gracie's hand, "oh no it should be her you dance with sir Pierre she…"

"It's alright Gracie," I smiled nodding before sitting down and watching as he worked with her a little more delicately then he did with me. He just did a slow dance that seemed to make Gracie nearly faint they're indeed a cute couple. 

Authors note- I know this is probably a little weird… any who it was inspired by something which I couldn't remember. But to get the real feel of it like I did while I wrote it… listen to soft and fast tunes that are mostly instrumental… but on the dance of two birds I was listening to a song that goes like "I long to see the sunlight in your hair, and tell you time and time again how much I care, some time's I feel my heart over flow… hello I've just got to let you know. Cause I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do, are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart… for I haven't got a clue but let me start by saying I love you… which is kinda the song in Rin's heart but it is a slow song with a lot of melody and long strung out what nots… lol so its got like violins and organs or something maybe piano or something ha ha ha but it's pretty and slow so I wrote to the beat of it you could say. Any who onto the next phase…


	14. The pain of love

Chapter 14. The pain of love:

Author's note- Hey yall! I am back I was just watching that new T.V series "Sarah Conner Chronicles" it was the series finale… not to bad not too bad at all! I LIKED IT! However I now have to get myself in the "Inuyasha" mode… not too hard who doesn't love Inuyasha? Or perhaps Sesshomaru? Two very cool half brothers... Ha ha ha of course not as cool as my own half brothers! Shoot what am I talking about! Any who on with the story now!

Added Authors note- As you know I now have my internet on! Sorry it took me so long to get these next chapters up, my documents some how got locked! Anywho thank you cheryljb for leaving such a nice review! Thank you for reviewing actually! This is for you! For ALL of you!

-Love4horse

--Sesshomaru--

I walked down to the court yard which was beginning to fill up more and more with the villagers who all dressed in their nicest outfits. It wasn't very often maybe once or twice a year that the whole village gathered for a festival… but for some reason Halder had called all of his people to join us higher people in festivities. How pathetic of an attempt at winning his people's affection… unworthy of the title 'Lord'. A king or a lord should have the respect and dedication of his people for the fact he was king and strong and ruled with wisdom and strength.

"Pathetic," I said as I sat in the corner away from the awful music that was most definitely different then anything I had before, "disgusting."

"I most absolutely agree with you!" Jaken squeaked as he stood beside me his lord, "youkai conversing with hanyou's and humans!"

"He tries to bribe his people with dances and joined festivals," I growled, "and bribes her with clothes and flowers…"

"Rin?" asked Jaken making me look down at him.

"Yeah," I responded before seeing that Jaken was looking at something. Moving my eyes from the little green toad like youkai I found Rin walking down the steps into the giant green courtyard decorated with all kinds of fancy bobbles and decorative candle holders that supplied the beautiful yard and walk ways to the large marble dance floor and the giant table full of plates and all kinds of goodies with golden light. I stood up as I watched Rin walk out into the golden candle light brightening the room with a vibrant red dress… almost like the first dress I had seen her in. Only wow… it held and clung tightly to the curves of her body, with long flowing sleeves. Wow what a… woman? Rin… being a woman was hard for me to believe these days. It was a silk red dress with a silver and black waist band which clung tightly and brought the attention to her figure. She looked so beautiful… and so overwhelming, more like tempting. My sweet innocent Rin… what was she wearing? Who is that behind her? A man and a woman followed behind her faithful, she always had admirers but none that followed behind her. I smiled as I watched her insist they stood beside her instead of behind her… that's my Rin, so modest and honorable.

"Wow," Jaken said jumping up and down trying to look over the crowd who stopped to stare at the newest guest entering, "she looks…"

"Don't finish that sentence," I snapped as I made my way through the crowd who awed at how beautiful she looked. There was a stronger woman in her that I couldn't see before… how didn't I see the woman in her? By the smile on her face it looked like she finally loved herself… finally believed in herself. But I always knew she was a woman… because she was always the woman I loved. I heard a little something different play as the prince came out onto the dance floor ready to speak to those around him.

"Welcome friends and thank you for all joining me tonight! I have an important surprise towards the end of the magnificent night. We have a different theme for this festival… this is something I discovered on my travels I hope you enjoy the wonderful harmony's and enjoyable melody's of these truly amazing and accommodating instruments intertwined to make the perfect dancing music. So I hope you will all join me tonight in some dancing. Please help yourselves to the food and I please make yourselves comfortable tonight," Halder said as he stood on the giant dance floor before walking up the steps to where the crowd stood. Very few went down to dance as they had never heard that kind of music. They were all still getting slightly acquainted to it trying to find its story. Rin stood there as Halder finally spotted her with his eyes, I had to get to her first… but for some reason the man who was with her got to her before either of us did. Was she going to dance? Oh Rin… do you even know how to dance? Do not make a fool of us? Wow this music was so strange yet Rin seemed comfortable with it when she climbed onto the dance floor with this strange older youkai man who had two small horns on his smoothed back oiled black hair.

"Are you ready? The challenging lovers…" he whispered into her ear as the man with the wooden and string instrument began to pluck at it and others with ones like it some with sticks to glide across it and drums… which were not being used. Drums I knew… but the rest were still slightly foreign to me. Wow… his hand is on her waist. Where is my… she is allowing it? Her hand folds in his as the music stops a moment and then gets a little faster paced plucks and beautiful harmonies that made Rin walk backwards with the strange man as he spun her bringing her back and then speeding up twirling her while he spun until the music got more interesting and their feet danced her hips swirling in ways no man should see but perhaps I.

Wow the dress moved with her as he walked backwards pulling her with him as he spun her under his arm twirling her in ways as the dress spun her hair flew and she moved. He pushed her waist so that only their hands were still intertwined and they fanned out before he pulled her back so that she landed no longer facing him his hand finding hers and they walked forward to the beat both moving together. How did she balance in those shoes as he pushed her off again and she spun so fast it nearly made me dizzy.

This was almost beautiful… I had done this when I was younger but found it annoying and vulgar but my father insisted I learned it and appreciated it even if I did not like it. Now as I am older and wiser I can see why my father found it slightly fascinating. The beat quickened and their feet moved so fast that it brought back memories to me as he pushed her and she pushed him back the band moving their instruments faster all the different sounds made it interesting as it slowed down and it looked as if they challenged each other for dominance. It was like Rin and my story… she fought to hold me and I fought to be free of this heart which somehow though I said it would never it bound itself to her. As the music came to a slower pace showing them they were about to stop he quickly grabbed her hand and bent her over one knee as he leaned over her. Everyone clapped as he stood up pulling Rin back to her feet, even me. Jaken's eyes were enlarged afraid of what I might do until he saw me clapping… it was harmless dancing besides he was too old for Rin and by the looks of it the woman who traveled with him adored this strange new guy.

"Another?" he whispered in her ear as he bowed to the crowd it had been so rejuvenating to dance like that for him as well as her.

"Another," she smiled taking his hand and bowing, "let's do two more. Let us do one slow and one fast one… that's if you can keep up."

"Which ones would you like to do?" he whispered in her ear. She looked at him not quite sure as to which one's she wanted to do.

"One really fast one and let's do the one in the room… the dance of the two birds the one where one wants to fly away," Rin said back over the large groups clapping. If only she had known that I had been watching as well as Halder, I am sure she would not have felt so comfortable.

"We shall do the birds first," he said standing behind her and taking one hand and then the other as the music slowly began to start. It was with ease that he pushed her forward releasing a hand so he could real her in as if he was winding up a cord to tuck into his dancing arms. Her arms went into the air as his hands slowly fell down her arms, the long sleeves falling down her shoulders until she spun away and he grabbed her waist pulling her back. She leaned backwards arching her back as he twirled her and lifted her back up. She began to spin away as he grabbed a hand pulling her back into his arms and with the other hand grabbing her open and hand flinging her away. She stepped backwards slowly as he stepped forward slowly before reaching a hand out and holding it there slowly walking towards her. Rin turned her head before slowly backing away. She tried to backup but he took a deep step forward catching her waist.

The music was slow and beautiful as the man with the wooden stringed instrument plucked a beautiful beat that matched their steps. The man grabbed her hands placing his foot behind her feet to keep her feet straight as she fell back her hands in his and he slowly lowered her to the ground where he knelt over her. He grabbed her waist lifting her up with one arm and holding her there with two as the music ended. Everyone whistled and clapped making the man smile as he released Rin from the position.

A faster beat music came on as Rin loosened herself moving her shoulders as he ran to her grabbing her and they span around and around and around her dress flying as the trumpets and instruments got faster and she took his hand moving to the beat. Every man's eyes were on her and everywoman desired to be her at that moment. No one wanted to get on the dance floor for they wanted to watch another performance. Rin spun using her arms as she held a position as he circled her before grabbing her hand and quickly spinning her on her own before pushing her backwards and pulling her forwards. Rin moved with him as he practically ran and then turned side ways to the quick beat as she quickly changed position rapidly her legs never faltering her positions always changing, and my eyes always on her. The music got faster as the room clapped to the beat.

Like a gift from the heaven it was easy to tell it was love from above that could save me from hell, she had fire in her soul and it was easy to see how the demon itself could be pulled out of me. There were drums in the air as she danced, the crowd keeping time with their hands I made my way towards the dancing floor. It was like a piece of a puzzle that was falling into place, she could tell how I felt from the look on her face when she saw me. She began spinning in circles with the moon in our eyes looking at me with every turn as I made my way through the crowd. I walked down the steps slowly as the moon shined down on us; she barely tripped as she watched me instead of paying attention to her partner. I walked onto the dance floor fully where they both stopped to watch as the music kept going I nodded my head to him respectfully before taking her hand. Rin just stared at me so I tugged on her arm making her spin inwards landing a little roughly, but she is light so it didn't bother me none. The music stopped as the band tried to come up with a new song to play.

"Rin," I acknowledged my partner before we danced as I was taught as I heard the melody go soft and soothing so I spun her out gently pulling her back so I could take her waist. My pulse seemed to pound in my neck and wrist as I pulled her close twirling her trying to get used to it the way I used to. It slowly came back to me as we stepped back four times, well I stepped forwards, and then turned to my side and spinning her several times before she released standing there staring at me in surprise. All I could do was smile as I slowly walked to her and took her again pulling her to me and leaning forward so she would dip before pulling her back up and spinning her in circled around me… how graceful her movements seemed to come. If only she knew how much this new technique would help improve her skills with the sword. The music got deeper and more intense as I pulled her to me and just looked down at her for a moment feeling her heart beat so close to mine was so intoxicating. Eventually the music stopped and a new one began encouraging people to attempt to come on the floor and dance, my moves were not quite as great as her first dance partner but he seemed to be busy with the girl who came with them as they danced slowly her head on his shoulder.

"They make a cute couple," Rin said as her hand fell into mine and my hand on her waist as we twirled a moment, "I didn't take you for a dancer."

"I didn't take you for one either," I said memorizing her face, "I learned it at a young age so I am still waiting for it to all come back to me."

"Excuse me may I still her from you a moment?" Halder said interrupting Rin and my dance. I looked at her as she looked at me moment before looking to Halder hoping I would say something. But who was I too say anything? I couldn't stop her though I wanted to; perhaps I am too prideful… I know I will regret it. Don't do it Rin…

"Yeah I suppose," Rin said looking over at me again before nodding respectfully, "thank you for the dance my lord."

"Rin…" I caught myself saying her name desperately catching all three of us off guard, 'help me to ask you not to go. Don't go…'

"Good night Lord Sesshomaru," she said pleading with her eyes to not let her leave. Why don't I… why don't I say something? Stupid! Idiot! You fool Sesshomaru… fool. That is what I am… a fool for Rin.

--Rin--

Halder led me away from Sesshomaru who stood there on the dance floor. Halder took my hand holding it up as we made our way through the crowd… I couldn't help but to keep looking back at Sesshomaru who watched me. His eyes begged me to not go, but his mouth stayed clasped and his teeth in sync hidden behind his silent none moving idiot mouth. Stupid! Idiot! Sesshomaru! Now is our last chance to be together can't you see! Why does my mind race so! GAH!

"Rin?" Halder said catching my attention as the crowd reformed covering Sesshomaru from my sight… oh my cold faced handsome but heart of a lion and lamb to those he dare show, where are you? Halder led me to a large stage that had been set up while I dance apparently for I had not seen it when I entered the courtyard. The music played lively all the instruments making together sweet fun music that made me want to start dancing on the spot. OH what joy it would have brought me if Halder had not stolen me from the dance floor. He stood up on stage before putting his hand down so that I could take it before placing my foot up high and he lifted me so that I too was on the large stage.

"What is all this Halder?" I giggled making him smile, what did he find so amusing about me? Was it the fact we shared a love for flowers? Or perhaps not flowers but riding… or perhaps because I love to dance and he saw it in me in the very beginning. Or does he just enjoy laughing at me… "Are we going to be watching a show from up here? It's beautiful up here."

"Yes it is," he said looking at me with a smile, "it's more like they will be watching a show from down there."

"So we get to see the show up close and in person? Truly you must be kidding it is too much!" I shrieked with excitement forgetting all about my torment and hurt for the moment.

"We are the show," he said taking my hand making me smile before slowly bending down onto one knee. Oh lord… what's he doing? He looked to the crowd who all began to notice and then tap their neighbor so they could watch, "good people who have been with me for so long! I have made this night in celebration of our most honored guest to our beloved city! I wanted to share my love for her in front of the world, and you… my people are my world! So tonight in front of you all… woman, children, and men I ask Rin here to marry me and to be my mate!"

"Oh really… this is too much," I said my eyes getting watery as I heard the crowd clapping. How could I say no now? Oh lord… how do I do this? I looked over to Sesshomaru who yellow eyes glared from darkness.

"I promise you Rin… I promise all of you that I will give Rin everything she wants, needs, and desires if she will make me the happiest youkai lord in the world! Can you people here all give Rin the support and courage she needs to search her heart and tell me yes!" yelled Halder as he stared up at me with his charming smile.

"SAY YES!" they all screamed and cheered excitedly making me smile.

"Who here wants Rin to say yes?!" He yelled as he pulled out a ring from his jacket as everyone cheered and kids giggled and laughed jumping up and down as my free hand flew to my mouth.

"I didn't see this coming," I said my hand still covering my mouth. A part of me wanted to say yes and a part of me wanted to chase after Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru? My eyes quickly turned to him as his back was to me and he walked away Jaken following his head turned towards Rin in shock.

"YES!! Say yes!!" cheers and encouraging things were shouted from everywhere the place was so lively as the music played fast and I bit my finger as I looked down to Halder and shook my head yes.

"Yes?" he asked his smile fading to a look of shock as I shook my head yes again causing him to leap into the air picking me up into his arms and spinning me making the crowd just go crazy with laughs and cheers. When he was done he placed me down his hand taking mine hastily and placing the beautiful giant diamond ring on. Wow and I thought my necklace from lord Sesshomaru was nice, but still for some reason I would risk my life for that necklace… and would freely give that ring for someone else's life or for my own.

--Sesshomaru--

I could hear their cheers as I turned my back on them, I didn't need to see anymore. I was hurt enough for one life time… the cheers got louder damn she must have said yes. I will never know until I must face them. To my room I must go, away from here I must get… the very sound of them pathetic humans and half breeds sickens me, what sickens me more is the very reason they were cheering. I never thought I could be so miserable… besides she was never mine to have. How foolish was I too fall for another woman, I told myself I would never love again… the first time was enough. This Sesshomaru loves no one, never has and never will so by my very skin on my bones… love will never conquer me. When I finally made it to my room I figured out it didn't take long for her to trail behind me… perhaps she said no?

Rin stood at Sesshomaru's door a moment taking a deep breath before knocking. Sesshomaru sat in a sunken in chair made of fur from some beast when Rin finally got the courage to knock at his large oak door. Turning his head he realized Rin had come a lot sooner then he had expected, however it took a moment before he got the strength to call her in.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" she asked as she walked into the room quietly. He looked over at her before standing up, as she turned to close the door before turning to face him.

'Who am I fooling? Love has conquered me,' Sesshomaru thought as he looked into Rin's eyes as she stood there with the saddest brown eyes, "what have you come for?"

"Sesshomaru," Rin said walking forward before he put his hand up to stop her, "won't you speak to me?"

"Rin I can't I'm sorry," he said knowing that at this moment he was weak, "I didn't want you to get close to him because I knew he'd fall in love with you. And I feared you with him more then anything…"

"No Sesshomaru I don't…" she said frantically walking towards him before she looked up at him.

"So then you said no?" Sesshomaru asked hastily.

"No… I said yes," Rin said as his eyes fell to the ring on her hand and he turned away from her unable to look at her, "but I don't love him."

"Then why?!" he snapped turning towards her and grabbing her by the arm tightly and growled, "why?"

"Because I love you!" Rin cried confusing him, "because it's the only way for me to move on Sesshomaru! You've denied me so many times!"

"Rin," he said softly before pulling her to him his lips falling on hers. Rin sank into his kiss before she pulled away and looked up at him, "don't marry him…"

"Sesshomaru," she said in shock as he kissed her again so she wouldn't deny him. She fell for it for a second before pushing away, "Sesshomaru no!"

"Rin," he pleaded, "why not! Let's leave… let's go, but don't stay with him!"

"No," Rin said biting her lip sadly, "I'm sorry… there was no way to tell just how far my feelings for you would have gone and just how strong they would get. I know that some times love ends up one sided, but… there is nothing about you I regret. I want you to find what you're needing more then I want you to stay, I wish you could feel what I'm feeling… but I don't want you hurting that way Sesshomaru. There are two kinds of love in this world the selfish kind that never wins, and as hard as it is letting you go now it would kill me to watch you pretend. So lord Sesshomaru don't worry about me, don't lose sleep, and don't come saving me because the water here is too deep. I wouldn't want you suffering like I have, I don't love you like that… my love is more then that."

"Rin come with me," he said after looking at her for a moment, "but I cannot watch you end up in the arms of another man."

"You see I had hoped for that for awhile… maybe if he saw me in the arms of another, but then I realized if you wanted to be with me you would have done it before I finally ended up with another man. Besides they need you Sesshomaru that would ruin your alliance. These are good people," Rin said looking up at him frantically.

"These people mean nothing to me. I don't want them I want you Rin and we need to leave," he said taking her hand before she pulled it away from him, "I could care less about these people!"

"I do care! And I don't go back on my word I told him I would marry him. Besides these people mean something to me we can't go back on our words," Rin said tears filling her eyes as he turned around angrily as he placed his hand under a table and flipped it so it went flying into a wall spreading papers and his plans everywhere making Rin jump at the loud noise it made, "I'm on your side… and will always be yours in my heart. But we must be good to our word Sesshomaru…"

"You promised me that you would never be with anyone else," Sesshomaru said breathing heavily trying to hold back the demon that wanted to come out.

"It's not the same, no it's never the same… if you don't feel it too," Rin said as she let out a sob, "besides you have someone waiting back home for you."

"It won't be home without you," he said softly as his he dug his claws into the flesh of his palm.

"It wouldn't be home if I was there in the way… watching you with someone else. Didn't you always tell me I had to one day choose whether it was what I truly wanted, a loveless life with no family… or a life of my own?" Rin asked as she leaned against the wall. Sesshomaru turned around walking towards her standing in front of her. His hand shook as he placed his arm on the wall so she was trapped between his arm, chest, and her back to the wall.

"I never meant it," he said staring deep into her eyes, "but this Sesshomaru doesn't beg. If you choose him then you choose him… we are done."

"Sesshomaru," Rin cried grabbing his white kimono and flying into his chest for what felt like the last time. And though he wanted to push her away so she could see how it felt, it felt too good to do so.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, I'm sorry I was too late… I knew I would regret one day not making you mine while I could. Perhaps it was never meant to be, I never gave in… that fault is not yours. I do not blame you for choosing him over I, he is a decent man though I would hope for you better," Sesshomaru said his arm curling around her, "you deserve a man with two arms."

"Sesshomaru," Rin shrieked, "I'd love you even if you had no arms and no legs."

"I guess it just wasn't enough," Sesshomaru said trying to keep his cool, "if we were meant to be I would have told you my feelings sooner… and we would have been. But you should know that he isn't as sweet as he is too you he has a temper and he really only cares mostly about yourself… you might find yourself feeling more alone. He might just leave one day and not come back for many years that's the kind of guy he is. I hope your not doing this only because it seems safer with him…"

"I must go they are probably wondering where I am and don't worry about me," Rin said rubbing her eyes before kissing Sesshomaru's cheek. Sesshomaru sighed as he watched Rin walk out of the door slowly, and he realized he had lost the will to live… simply nothing more to give, there was nothing left for him, and was ready for the end to set him free. He slowly walked to where all his stuff was before he lost it and tore his stuff from the walls and threw chairs, tables, and the drawer over, and sliced through his bed releasing his anger.

Things weren't what they use to be, nothing left inside of him, missing the one in there, he couldn't stand the pain he felt. Emptiness was filling him, growing darkness that he hadn't felt since way before Rin; once again… he learned that love was only for the weak. So once again he was lost in a sad fictional reality where love was the enemy. If only the broken youkai lord knew that love was not done with him yet… only he could decide their true fate. This was merely a trial or you could call obstacle… the hardest part was yet to come, and only by the love he no longer believed in could he save Rin from her terrible fate.

Authors note- Thank you all for reading this… I hope there was enough drama in this little section I worked my rear end off trying to think of the perfect little scenario… don't worry I DOUBT that Halder and Rin will last so don't get angry and stop reading! Sesshomaru and Rin are destined to be together, and Rin learns about how Halder REALLY is when he isn't trying to be all sweet and nice and thinks he's got her locked down, well he thinks he does because of how he locks… why am I telling you? Just stay tuned and tell me what yall think! I know I like Halder a little too much; he isn't going to be a bad guy… just a little bit temperamental, and not who Rin loves. Poor fool… but don't worry there is always a little sweet nurse ready to heal his wounds… don't think I forgot about miss Sagoe… yes I can't think of very good names ha ha ha! Thanks!

-Love4horses


	15. The fool

Chapter 15. The fool:

Authors note- wow I am tired I just got home lol and it is 8 in the morning! I didn't get to sleep until around 1ish AM and then woke up at 6:00 AM crazy!! Well here I got with another attempt.

Rin lay in her room contemplating what had happened, how she had waited for what felt like ever for those words to come from Sesshomaru's mouth… and now all the things she wished she could have said came to mind. It was too late to go back now she had to deal with it all in her head and heart, so she spent the day moping in her room. Gracie walked in with a tray holding hot steamy tea and special cookies, Rin could smell them… but didn't feel like indulging in any small talk.

"What is wrong with you Miss Rin? You've been cooped up in this room for quite some time now three days to be exact… you haven't eaten anything or spoken with anyone. What happened… what did he say to you?" Gracie asked sitting down kindly and setting down the tray by her side.

"What do you mean?" Rin asked sitting up to drink the tea quite thirsty from the loss of water thanks to all the crying.

"I know you had to talk to Sesshomaru your lord. What did he say to make you so sad? Did he not sweep you off your feet like you expected?" Gracie said smiling at her, "I know you love him… so what makes you stay in here and wallow?"

"I talked to him and I told him I didn't want to be with him because I made a promise to Halder and if I left with him then their alliance would be broken and hell would break loose. I care too much for the people to watch them fall, and believe it or not but without Sesshomaru your lord will not succeed… my fiancé won't succeed. He wanted me to be with him, but not only until I was in the arms of another that he decided he wants to be with me," Rin said biting her lip nervously.

"Well at least you know how he truly feels about you. So why are you so upset?" Gracie said smiling at her, "isn't that what you were waiting for?"

"Once again I chose others over my heart and I will always do that, he deserves a different woman then me. I told him that we couldn't be together but its better then leaving and living with grief for what I've done, I'm one up and trying… but I'll always be loving a man or youkai who makes me feel I'm not welcome there only when he's bored, hungry, needs something done or something cleaned. I wish there was more I could say, another fairy tale fades to gray. I lived on hope like a child walking that mile faking that smile, all the while wishing my heart had wings. But from now on I am going to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be. I'm going to love myself more then anyone else, believe in me even if some can't see a stronger woman in me. I'm going to be my own best friend; I won't lose myself again ever no… because there is a stronger woman in me. From now on that's how I am going to be…"

"You're already a strong woman… Halder wouldn't fall for just anyone, your something special. Maybe if you spent time with your future lover then you'd feel a little better," Gracie said with a smile. Rin sighed thinking about it a moment, before rolling over, "thank you. What am I going to do now to forget about him? Because my lord rests on my mind and it isn't fair to Halder. I'm just not ready at this moment to give my heart to him while I am mourning, so I am not ready to marry at this very moment how do I tell him?"

"You tell him to wait until the battle is over so you don't end up fully alone," Gracie said with a smile.

"Sesshomaru glad you could join me," Halder said as he stood up from the large fancy seat he was sitting in surrounded by his military leaders.

"You sent for me," Sesshomaru said holding his posture keeping his normal monotonous expression on his face.

"Yes I had well first I would like to have a word in private with you. Gentlemen will you please give us a moment," Halder said as he walked to a large silver and white porcelain pitcher full of water and poured himself a glass. He waited until everyone was out of the room before turning to face Sesshomaru; he gave a small smile that didn't faze Sesshomaru at all.

"What do you want?" Sesshomaru said not wanting to hear Halder's ranting and ravings about Naraku and another threat he posed against himself as well as his people… at this moment Sesshomaru cared for none of them.

"It's about Rin," Halder said offering Sesshomaru a glass of water which of course Sesshomaru made no move to reach for it.

"What about her?" Sesshomaru growled making Halder look at him curiously.

"I think something is wrong with her she hasn't left her room for three days and no one can get her to eat anything, I've been too busy to check on her myself with the planning of our next attack… do you know what is wrong with her?" Halder asked sipping his water.

"Perhaps you should be a good future ma… husband and check on her. Why would I know?" Sesshomaru asked not letting his voice alter except for when he almost said 'Mate' but couldn't bare to think of anyone else being with her in that way other then him for husband was hard enough for him to think about, "if you love her like you claim to 'though you will never love her like me' then you wouldn't put her behind your plans and people."

"My people must come first I've worked so hard to get to where I am," Halder said looking to Sesshomaru, "surely you must know this for you yourself have your own people to look after."

"I've never put anyone before Rin… everything I have done I have done for her. I only hunt Naraku anymore for the pain he put her through… I've killed my own people for threatening her. How can I trust the only person I love with someone who thinks only of themselves and what they have done, how can I know you will protect her when I leave?" Sesshomaru said glaring at Halder.

"I would protect her with my life," Halder said glaring back, "I would never do anything to harm her and I wouldn't let anyone harm her but she is not in harms way… so I must tend to things around here."

"You are not a good enough man to deserve her and neither am I," Sesshomaru said glaring at Halder, "so if you expect me to allow this to happen you need to wise up and be more of a man… a man who will give her everything she wants and needs."

"She is not a little girl Sesshomaru," Halder said looking at Sesshomaru in shock, "she can decide for herself the man she wants to be with… a woman can sense the man for her."

'And it was me she chose I was just too blind and prideful to give in… a fool this Sesshomaru turned out to be. I always thought I would regret this… but now I finally have,' Sesshomaru thought as he watched Halder, "yes she is a smart and strong girl. She is after all a woman as hard as it is to believe for me."

"Well I can very much so believe she is a woman," he said smiling making Sesshomaru's claws clinch in a fist.

"She has been by my side since she was just elbows and knees… it is hard to imagine myself without her," Sesshomaru opened up a little, "I spent most of my life protecting her even though I wasn't there too watch her grow. Jaken did… he's been like a father to her, and she a daughter to him. You… you just take her away as if there is no one else involved."

"I don't want to take her away, but she is such a great opportunity to let slip by. She is so exciting and rejuvenating… exhilarating even. She is so young though compared to the both of us," Halder said as he watched Sesshomaru stand there, "I know you and your little what should I call him… sidekick? You've been there to protect her all her life and if it wasn't for you I would have never gotten the chance to meet her… but its not as if she won't be in your life. She can always travel to see you and you her."

"Hmmm," Sesshomaru didn't know what to say cause if he could say what he wanted to there would be a war between Halder and Sesshomaru and Rin didn't want that… she was giving herself away to keep that from happening.

"We've been friends for sometime Sesshomaru, not close friends of course… and I know how Rin cares for you so it would be wonderful if you would be there at the wedding, and possibly the best man," Halder said trying to smile, "I know it would mean a lot to Rin she always talks of how close you guys are and how no one is worth losing you over. You are her best friend… so it would be our honor."

'And too think that I could have been asking him the same thing if I hadn't been so prideful and let things get in the way,' Sesshomaru thought wanting to break something… mostly Halder's face, "I will have to think about it. I don't know where I will be around that time… when do you suppose you will um take her as your wife?"

"I hope as soon as possible," Halder said smiling, "so I hope you aren't in that much of a hurry."

"Halder?" Rin's voice rang through the hall before the large doors opened up and she walked in. Rin stopped and stammered a minute as she saw Sesshomaru standing there. Sesshomaru watched Rin a moment her jet black hair flowing down her back as she wore a simple yellow and green dress.

"I am glad to see you are doing alright," Halder said walking to her and taking her hand, "I was just talking to Sesshomaru here about the wedding."

"Really? Well I need to talk to you about that?" she said turning her head slightly so his kiss fell on her cheek.

"Yes well we can converse about that later I have some important things to attend to this afternoon," Halder said kissing her hand, "in fact I most further my conversation with Sesshomaru here."

"I was just on my way out," Sesshomaru said turning to leave as Rin watched him.

"It's about the wedding… I want to wait to do it," Rin said catching both Halder's attention and Sesshomaru's. He stopped to look over his shoulder… was Rin having second thoughts?

"What do you mean?" Halder asked turning to look at her, "You don't suggest…"

"Only that we wait until you come back from war… it is something I need," Rin said biting her lip, "you can't blame me for wanting reassurance… how am I to know you won't come back?"

"Oh… Rin you must know by now that I would do anything for you and if you need this then I will wait even an eternity to be with you as long as it meant I could call you mine," he said touching Rin's face making Sesshomaru grit his teeth before turning his head to walk away. Sesshomaru felt a little heartbroken for the first time as he quickly exited the large throne room. Was this what Rin really wanted? A large castle… large compared to their little homey castle… if that was it then he would build her a new one a hundred new ones all over the land so they could move from spot to spot, was it the fact she was pampered… cause he would give her anything and everything she wanted, was it cause he for a moment spent every waking second with her cause if so he would give every minute he had left to her… or was it in fact that she really wanted Halder? If so he loved her enough to let her go and to let her be happy even though it meant his misery, for she had been his only friend and even though he constantly put her off he just wasn't ready but he did fall in love with her he was just too prideful to admit it and too scared to allow it.

--Sesshomaru--

How did I let myself get this involved? I promised myself I wouldn't ever fall in love again and I am still young enough to go out and do what I need to do. But she is younger… and yes might die way before me, why didn't I ever think about that before? I thought that because I loved and lost it was better to not love at all, now if only I realized she wasn't the one for me because of the fact Kagura and I didn't last… it was always Rin that is why she was sent to me at my darkest hour. Now I've lost her to man no better then I, the very kind of man I was trying to save her from. Though I spent my life with many other woman, none like her… so innocent and yet so much personality. I know it took me so long to fall in love with her; it wasn't until she had gotten older and more curious that I truly fell in love.

She is still so young especially compared to me and though I know this and I times it bothered me to feel the way I did for someone so different in age as me… what have I done? I thought she would be better of with a good man or alone and just by my side, but I was just being selfish and only thinking about myself. Eventually I began to need her by me all of the time and that's when I realized I was falling in love, so I would start to try and distant myself in certain ways hoping she would want to be away from me… I would say some really mean things and sometimes do mean things such as ignore her completely. I didn't do it for her at that time, I did it for me… and then I started telling her we couldn't be together and give her some stupid excuse. But now it's just… I want her near me at all times because of the loneliness she filled in me, because I enjoyed her company and though sometimes I could keep myself cool and collective in the presence of others but she was my best friend and the only one I wanted to have with me at every event.

How was I to know I would find her in the arms of my only other acquaintance or sometimes I suppose a friend? Jaken and Halder were my friends Halder more of an acquaintance and more business oriented, Jaken more of a partner he's been traveling and fighting with me… but it was Rin who was my truest friend and I didn't want to lose that. But now I realize I would rather have her as more then a friend and my friend at the same time, why did it take her moving on to make me realize what it is she meant to me. Why didn't I say what I need to say? Why did I have to be so stubborn and tell her without her asking for anything that I pushed her away with out even really listening deep down? I convinced her so well I didn't want to be more then what we were that I believed it for awhile myself… why didn't I ever show her how I felt so she would try harder? If only she had known that if she had tried harder, had spoken louder, and not just given up… I would have caved eventually. But how was she to know? How was I to know? If it was meant to be it would have been… she always said everything happened for a reason, maybe this isn't happening for a reason.

Why was I being such an idiot such a… why? Why couldn't I do things right, I've been such a screw up… why did she stick by me? No one else had stuck it through with me, everyone left me and I became a bitter loveless… jerk. But Rin still managed to love me, with a love I couldn't see past my own pride and hate for my fathers relationship with that human woman. I thought for so long that things didn't happen because I wasn't meant to be with anyone, my destiny was different then my dads that I wouldn't fall to that level… but Rin showed me something totally different she showed me that I am not my father. I can love differently then my father, I am neither weak nor strong… I am Sesshomaru, and I love Rin. She is neither human nor hanyou and not youkai she is Rin… and she is mine, even if I may never touch her or hold her the way I want to ever again. But I love her, I do… why can't I tell her? Why did I wait? Why didn't I stop her in the beginning when I saw them getting friendly, why didn't I say what I needed to say? This Sesshomaru is the fool. I am a fool.

Authors note- Hey yall sorry this one was a lot shorter but I gotta go lol I didn't really know exactly what to do… so I thought a little insight into the heart of our great lord Sesshomaru and his thoughts and feelings on the past events leading up to where they are at would be slightly a good idea. If you didn't like I am sorry then you probably won't like this story all too much its kind of taking more of a dramatic and as you can tell a more of an emotional journey I suppose you can say. Well Sesshomaru is starting to show more of an emotional side… which I guess is out of character but hey not everyone stays the same when they fall in love. Alrighty I hope you did enjoy though! Stay in tune… and sorry for the grammar and errors cause in this house it is SOOOO hard to just get a story out let alone double checking and stuff. So I am taking the advantage of this time where no one wants on the computer cause there is no internet, and I am trying to get as many up as possible so that I can put them on as soon as the internet is back on… so in some strange way right now I feel as if I am talking to myself.


	16. The dark side of Love

Authors note:

Okay so there is some in appropriate content so for those who don't want to read stuff that has some um lemony fluff then you don't want to read this chapter. But in the next chappy I will put a little summary for this chapter in the begging so no one is lost. Sorry it took so long!! I had a writers block!

**Chapter 16:** The dark side of love…

Rin sat patiently waiting for Halder who was supposed to be meeting her for a ride. This was the forth time out of five they made plans that week and he flaked. Sesshomaru had warned her that he was that way, but it didn't matter because Sesshomaru made it clear he wasn't going to be with her, well at least that's what he said before she ended up with someone else. Foolish Sesshomaru how could he believe she would just say 'Alright my lord because you want me now I will just drop Halder who has been his friend since before I met him,' Rin accidentally shouted "NO!"

"No," Rin sighed as she brushed her beautiful gray stallion and saddled him, 'I won't break my promise to Halder although I love Sesshomaru. How could he let this happen? Why did he have to be so stubborn? Did he honestly believe that no one would ever notice me? That I would stay by him just as we were as his little pet following wherever he wanted? Or did he just think I loved him so much no other was a possibility? Well then he was right, until it became too much… to love someone and feel as if they only love you when it is convenient and amusing? I have a chance with Halder, but I may never love him like I love Lord Sesshomaru. How foolish I am, how is it that he can do this to me? Torment me like this?"

--

"Rin?" asked Sesshomaru as he heard someone walked in, "your one of Halder's servants?"

"I adore miss Rin and it would bring my heart such joy to have her as queen, but break it if it is not in your hands mighty lord Sesshomaru," Gracie said glaring at him, "how can you do this to such a sweet young girl? You are so cold and callused so bitter and selfish."

"I love Rin I never wanted to hurt her, but you have no idea the life I've known," Sesshomaru said turning away from the older woman.

"None like hers lord Sesshomaru," Gracie said glaring at the beautiful lord, "she maybe just a plain girl nothing extraordinary, but she is a great kind caring person, sensitive, young, and in love with a lord who has seen many more summers then her… and all he ever does is think about his self and his sorrows. You're too blind to see you're breaking her in everyway. What pain do you know that out do our woes?"

"To love and lost," Sesshomaru said agitated because she made sense, "I loved and lost. Rin knows this she also knows I vowed never to love again. But that doesn't mean I haven't, I never thought I would feel this way."

"That doesn't mean she isn't hurting… it hurts her to try to be in the arms of another," Gracie said glaring at him, "we've all loved and lost and your about to lose again if you don't stop being so stubborn."

"What do you mean TRY to be in the arms of another? She has already agreed to be and refuses to take it back," Sesshomaru said frustrated.

"Did it ever occur to you to not wait until the last minute to decide that you love her enough to stop her from being with someone else?" Gracie asked sighing, "She is having a hard time trying to be with someone, she is so used to being with you now that you're all she wants. She will try and push you away because of her love for all of our lives for she is such a nice child, and she will tell you she is moving on… I tell you now do not give up keep trying. She is inside out before you Sesshomaru and she can't get away from your memory."

"I don't know what to say… she made a choice to go with Halder instead of giving me a chance to make up for being a fool to think that I could bare her by anyone's side but my own. She chose to be with Halder," Sesshomaru said stubbornly.

"She did it for your friendship and alliance with Halder. It would tear you guys apart if she were to leave with you," Gracie said still standing in the door way.

"He wouldn't have met her if I hadn't brought here with me, why did I ever let him meet her… I didn't think he would fall for her. I didn't think I would fall for her," Sesshomaru said sighing, "I know all she has done is try to help me to protect me in some way, she has wanted me happy… if only I had seen all she did to try and make me happy before this I would have stopped her I wouldn't have pushed her away."

"You still have a chance," Gracie said smiling at him, "but if you stay so cold… you just might lose her. Forever."

--

Rin galloped through the forest enjoying the breeze as she raced under the tiny glimmers of light cascading onto her through the dancing tree tops. It was such a beautiful day as she thought about her lord and his beautiful golden eyes and long silvery hair. It looked easier to push him out of her heart then it really was… why couldn't she seem to move on. Why did she run to his side when ever it seemed he needed her, she would not admit openly to him she wanted him… only those around her that would not tell Halder or Sesshomaru.

"Rin!" a voice yelled nearly making Rin fly off her horse as she pulled hard on her reins when she turned to look behind her.

"Oh good lord Soton I nearly got broke my neck you frightened me so!" Rin gasped with one hand clutching that back of her saddle and the other on her chest.

"I'm sorry miss Rin, I saw you riding alone and figured I would accompany you," Soton said his horse slowing to a trot then an immediate stop trying to avoid Rin's beautiful gray stallion, "may I accompany you or this a ride you truly wish to take yourself?"

"No, no I would thoroughly enjoy some company," Rin smiled at him pleased to have someone to talk to, "I was supposed to share this ride with Halder, but apparently he is busy with more important things."

"Nothing should be more important that you Rin," Soton said looking at her as his horse walked beside hers.

"I don't know what to say," Rin said blushing before turning her head.

"I am sorry for saying that… I am not trying to court you in any way I would never disrespect the prince like that. He is a leader I follow although he is not someone I consider a man let alone a good man," Soton said stairing straight forward.

"Why do you say such things?" Rin asked looking at Soton sadly.

"Because miss Rin, my sister loves him…" Soton said swallowing as he scouted the forest with his hazy eyes.

"Who is your sister?" Rin asked curiously as her horse threw his head side to side proudly with an gracefully arched neck.

"Oh she is a nurse there in the castle," Soton said sighing as he held onto his reins tight.

"Is your sister Sagoe?" Rin asked curiously making Soton look to her.

"Yeah it is… how do you know her?" He asked looking at her as Rin winced her eyes to see a flash of something dash through the trees.

"Yes she seems to not like me much," Rin said her smile disappearing.

"She loves Prince Halder like you love your lord Sesshomaru. You cannot blame a woman for disliking the woman that her love chooses over her. It's within someone's right to hate the one who is your competition, even if it isn't there fault. He miss led her for so many years, made her believe he loved her… then it's just all he cares about is himself. I am very sorry for you, I will do all I can to make you smile as much as I can. For you will be lonely in ways no person should, he is the kind of person you cannot rely on. He sends his men to battle before they are even ready! He acts so selfish and he leaves for months returns for days then leaves again! You will make our people very happy to have someone to go to at all times but you will be lonely and miserable," Soton said looking at Rin who couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Thank you for caring so much," Rin said smiling at him, "you have been a good friend. But it is a life I choose to live to keep the peace between your king and my lord. Although between you and me it is Sesshomaru's arms I truly wish to be in."

"Don't you mean arm?" Soton joked making Rin glare at him, "sorry milady. Bad joke… I was just trying to liven the mood."

"Well the mood can be livened without using my lord's defect to liven it. He may only have one arm, but he is a mighty demon lord who could take down even the deadliest of foe. Lord Sesshomaru is the most strong of all demons…"

"Then why hasn't he defeated Naraku Rin?" Soton asked interrupting her.

"Because every time he gets close enough to face Naraku, Naraku either cowers away or uses me against my lord. It seems I may have been my lords weakness," Rin said with a sigh.

"Well can you blame him? You've been loyal to him Rin, and he unlike Halder shows his appreciate his loyal followers. You deserve to be acknowledged… I am sorry you were forced on our sake to give away your life," Soton said looking forward until Rin stopped her horse to look at him.

"Soton," she said softly with a look of gratitude and sadness in her eyes before a loud noise caught there attention.

--

Sesshomaru had left the castle after over hearing a conversation that Halder had with one of the generals about the troops not ready, but Halder insisted in a week they marched out. The general had reminded Halder of his date with Rin and he confirmed what Sesshomaru feared he would do. He justified why he would stand her up again, it had begun. He would do this to her many more times, this Sesshomaru knew very well. How cocky Halder was… something he had also heard Halder say replayed in his head, 'It doesn't matter at the end of the day she will be in my arms.'

"Not if I can stop it," Sesshomaru growled. He didn't like the idea of having Rin with anyone else, especially a demon cockier then himself. Rin was his and no one elses, how could he let Rin do this. She had to do what he said, she owed him her life… and her life he would force her to give him. How did he seem to get back into his dark ways… how was it that he was taken to the deepest darkest part of his black heart that he had for so long stayed out of. How was it possible that all this time… it was a mere human girl who stopped it?

A scream came from the forest right as Sesshomaru had entered the clearing of it, and it was that one split second that he forgot their issues and once more only thought of saving Rin… HIS Rin. His began to boil as they pumped rapidly through his throbbing veins. This was turning out so horribly… how could this be! He could smell both her sweet scent, tears, and the stench of fear.

--

"Soton!" Rin screamed as he leaped off his horse in front of her so that the thing that which attacked dug its sharp teeth into him instead of her. Rin sat there a moment in shock as the creature took off with its prey clenched tightly in its sharp jaw. It took her a minute to whip out her bow and chase after the hungry demon, and it didn't take long until she could feel beads of sweat drip down her porcelain skin as she bent low avoiding branches as they raced through the trees.

"Rin!" Soton yelled as Rin started gaining on them. The creature glanced back with a wicked smile before taking off faster, this creature made it very apparent it was not losing its mean to some petty human girl. She chased them deeper and deeper into the dark forest until it finally stopped and dropped its meal.

"You were lucky girl to not have become my meal, but now you aggravate me… and I haven't tasted human flesh in so long. You will be my appetizer," it growled as it slowly stepped forward its long ugly talons clicking against branches and roots. Rin let go of the reins to get a better shot at the monster when a flash of white sped past her and a green acid whip slashed out cutting the monster into two. Rin stood nearly pale white as she knew had come to her rescue… she couldn't help but admit to herself that for the first time she was on her own. That Sesshomaru would not come to her rescue anymore, but yet after all there he was in front of her protecting her like he had always done. Rin immediately jumped off her horse to run to Soton, with a lot of effort she helped the boy get to his feet. She felt bad when he winced in pain.

"Thank you Soton for risking your life for mine," Rin said smiling at him. Sesshomaru stared ready to quickly turn so she wouldn't notice he was watching her.

"If you are grateful then why did you come after me? I would gladly give my life for yours, but what good is it if you get yourself killed? I was ready for death and had excepted, although I appreciate you coming after me like that… I am a better fighter if I wanted a fight instead of a sacrifice I wouldn't have jumped in front of you I would have chased it and risked your life."

"Soton," Rin said a look of complete shock all over it.

"No disrespect milady," he said bowing as he tried to no apply pressure to his injured leg. Rin smiled and shook her head no before helping him onto the horse.

"Are you not riding with him Rin?" Sesshomaru asked in his powerful voice sending the chills down her back.

"No I prefer to walk my lord," she nodded respectfully making his ear prick at her words.

"You are soon to be a queen… do not talk of others as higher then yourself. You need to start practicing that," Sesshomaru growled making Rin swallow nervously as he turned to walk away. He stopped a moment before looking back at Rin who stood watching him with a very bright shade of red cheeks, "Are you not coming?"

"Oh, yes, well… I mean of course," Rin mumbled before getting herself a little more together. She quickly and hastily perked up like she did when she was little, grabbed the reins of her beloved horse and followed behind her lord. It wasn't until Sesshomaru heard a snap that he stopped Rin nearly fell over trying to stop so sudden, but she quickly caught her balance although she nearly fell into her lord.

"Lord… I mean, what is it Sesshomaru my… uh Sess," Rin began to mutter and fumble her wounds before jumping when a dark figure started lurking out through the trees. Sesshomaru stood casually as the dark figure appeared looking at them through black eyes. He had long black hair, and all black clothes on… but his skin was as pale as death and very scarred.

"Now look what I've found, the great lord Sesshomaru wondering the woods… with a human girl? And a injured boy?" the creature hissed, "what a fine little collection I seem to have ran into."

"Let them go and we can settle this little… encounter with the death of the other," Sesshomaru said simply. How was he so calm, so collective, so together during times like these where as Rin shook in her very skin?

"The boy and the stupid beast beneath him are free to go," the creature hissed as it stood under the light his every ugly mark visible to them as an odder so foul surrounded them.

"The girl to," Sesshomaru said plainly, "the girl goes free. There is no question in that one."

"On the contrary Sesshomaru… I'm here for the girl," the man said cracking his neck as he looked to Rin making Rin's eyes go wide as she took a step back making him take a step towards her. Sesshomaru was in front of her with in an instant, "what need do you have with a mortal girl Sesshomaru? Or does that weakness run in the family?"

"There is no weakness here merely an investment. What need do you have of a mortal girl?"

"No need just want," he said lie written all over his face as he cocked his head at her.

"Well take your desire somewhere else and get your own human," Sesshomaru growled as Rin poked her head out from behind his back.

"No, no, no this is the one I came for, she is the one I will have… and you are in my WAY!" He yelled before attacking Sesshomaru making Rin yelp as Sesshomaru blocked his attack with his sword. Rin stood there uneasily as Sesshomaru looked at the man who tried to push past his blade, so effortlessly Sesshomaru stood there in mockery. The creature made an angry hissing sound before spitting a poison that did not effect Sesshomaru but got both Rin and Soton. Rin screeched in pain as Soton moaned in more agonizing Pain as the purple poison stung there skin and began to boil. Rin looked at her arm and where whole in it the sleeve of her dress had been made by the poison. Not much had gotten Soton it merely got his dirty cheek. But Sesshomaru lost control of his attention and looked back at Rin when the creature saw it's opertunity and with his knee and the spike on his knee armor stabbed Sesshomaru. He fell to the floor a moment unaware it was also covered in some sort poison that temporarily stung him. He was to strong for it to kill him, so all it really did was make him paralyzed for no longer then a minute. But a second was all the foul man needed to drive his blade through Sesshomaru and kill the great daiyōkai.

"No!" Rin screamed as she fell down on top of Sesshomaru making the man stop in surprise. Why wasn't he attacking Rin also? He grabbed Rin by the shoulder digging his sharp nails into her soft skin before ripping her strong grip from him and tossing her aside, "NO!"

'Rin,' was all Sesshomaru could say in his head as the sound of a thud rang through the forest making Rin gasp her eyes full of tears. All she could do was scream out Sesshomaru's name. He couldn't move he couldn't act all he could see was the giant blade beside his head embedded in the earth. Soton sat on top of Rin's gray stallion her bow in his hand and the previous arrow in the middle of the man's chest. He stumbled back a minute looking at the wound before Sesshomaru started moving again. The man lunged at Rin giant wings sprouting before another arrow hit his hand making him soar too high to snag Rin. Off in the clearing stood Halder and two guards, and Sesshomaru had wished he never appeared. He would once more ruin possibly the last real moment with Rin. Halder dismounted his horse and walked to Rin helping her up.

"Are you alright my love?" he asked making Sesshomaru shiver in anger and disgust.

"I am fine thank you," Rin said smiling at him before turning her gaze to Sesshomaru who began to walk away, "Sesshomaru!"

"Rin?" Sesshomaru stopped to ask but did not look back at the girl with the desperate face.

"Thank you," was all she could seem to mutter. Sesshomaru did nor said nothing but resumed walking deep in his dark thoughts. At one point… he considered killing Halder.

--

It was night fall and Rin lay silently in her bed, a cold breeze blew through the window making Rin roll over in her bed curling into her warm fluffy blanket that reminded her of her one true love. She was not aware that someone lurked in her room, sitting, watching her deep in dark thoughts. Sesshomaru moved closer looking down at the girl and thinking about the days of old when she was his and only his. One time her porcelain skin wasn't so porcelain. She woke up with bumps on her face, she had cried thinking she caught some contagious disease, 'she wouldn't even let me look at her,' he chuckled in his head.

He moved a step closer fighting with the darkness within him that told him to do what he needed to. Those thoughts had never occurred before so he had no idea how to handle them, all he knew was he could not lose her. Time was getting shorter, and she was becoming less and less his. The darkness made the room seem smaller as the curtains flapped around, and when he saw this made Rin shiver… he made his way to the window closing it.

'Do it,' something inside of him told him as he walked back around the bed silently his face rigid and emotionless. It was his last chance… he slowly sat on the bed placing a hand on Rin's arm making her jump ready to defend herself and her honor.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin asked her innocent brown and amber eyes dug deep into his golden eyes curiously, "what are you doing up so late?"

"Rin," he said softly his hand still on her shoulder as he looked at her yawn helplessly. He couldn't control the want for her.

"Is something wrong? Are we under attack? Is someone hurt?" Rin asked frantically as he looked down at her bare arm where purple marks remained. His hand slowly slid down her arm to touch the marks.

"Does it hurt?" he asked for the moment trying to push the thought from his mind. Rin just looked at him swallowing nervously. What was he doing in her room so late? And why did he have such a dark look in his eyes.

"Not anymore," Rin said searching his face for answers. It was a look she used to know very well, one that would have his way, "why've you come to my room so late my lord?"

'Do it…' his mind told him as his hand slid from her arm to her waist pulling her closer to him. Rin swallowed nervously as his face made its way towards hers, and with quickness she turned it so he got her cheek. As angry as that made him he did not let his anger turn him into a monster Rin would not love… so he kissed her cheek and slowly made his way down to her neck.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin gasped putting her hands on his chest and pushing him off of her. Sesshomaru would not take no for an answer as he jumped up after her blocking the door. Rin swallowed nervously as she slowly backed away from him as he proceeded towards her. What was wrong with him? Was he possessed? Or was it even really him? She did not scream merely squeaked as his hand grasped her arm tightly. He was strong enough he could break her arm in half at that moment if he pleased, but he did not squeeze her that hard as he pushed her back onto the bed. Rin slowly crawled backwards until she had no where else to crawl and she lay propped up against the beautiful wooden headboard. Rin sat on her knees uncomfortably as he faced her looking her deep in the eyes. She jumped when his hand found her holding her still as he kissed her lips, Rin wanted to fall into his lips more but knew it was wrong. She tried to move her face, but he had her chin grasped with in his hands careful not to scratch her face. He looked Rin in the eyes as she stared back terrified of why this was happening, and that voice just kept pushing him. He quickly whipped her around off her knees onto her back and he was on top of her. He looked down at her as she trembled beneath him.

"Am I not your lord?" Sesshomaru asked staring down at her with the same expressionless look on his face, but the look of power in his eyes mixed with desire.

"You are," Rin trembled feeling her eyes sting a little. She was undoubtedly scared.

"Then obey me as you always have," Sesshomaru said looking down at the frightened girl.

"Sesshomaru I…" before she could finish his lips fell onto hers silencing hers. He tried to ignore her sobs, but something inside of him couldn't stand even the slightest whimper of sadness from her.

"Do not cry Rin," Sesshomaru demanded as he looked down at her under him.

"What do you expect me to lie here like one of your whores not expect to be upset!" Rin yelled angrily, "why are you doing this!"

"Because I love you! Because you are mine!" Sesshomaru yelled an anger filling up in his eyes as he looked down at her.

"You promised me you would never make me do anything I didn't want to do! You said I could leave when ever I choose!" Rin yelled tears soaking her red cheeks. Sesshomaru just looked down at her.

"You promised you would never leave!" Sesshomaru yelled back, "I begged you not to leave."

"Sesshomaru," Rin said looking up at him with a sadness in her eyes, "you told me no remember? I will be yours for tonight and tonight only. But it is Halder who shall have me as both wife and mate."

"Why must you torture me so?" He asked hanging his head before sitting up, "to talk about being with another man? It is torture Rin… you have hurt me more in a few words then any demon, man, or powerful daiyōkai ever could with their words or attacks."

"Kind of like when I found out about the female youkai waiting back home for you? And all the times you told me you would never be with me, I believed you and now here you are," Rin said looking into her lords eyes and seeing for the first time a true deep heart breaking sadness.

"I thought I could never love anyone more then I loved her other then myself," Sesshomaru said as looked at her, "this Sesshomaru was a fool. For you have more of me then I do. Your breaking me… your breaking this Sesshomaru."

'I've never seen him depressed like this. He looks so…' Rin sat up so she could look in the eyes before kissing his lips and pulling away, "for tonight and tonight alone. I need it to I want you to be my first, but you cannot mark me."

"Rin," he said looking into her chocolate orbs. Rin just sighed before kissing him again as his hand found her back. Her fingers tried to unfasten his clothes, but her hands were trembling so much that she couldn't quite get it. Sesshomaru just watched her as he helped her with his one hand. Rin swallowed nervously as he sat there in front of her with his bare chest shoulders and back revealed. Rin's hand found his strong well built muscular chest with her slender hands tracing the scars that had been left to tarnish such a glorious creation. Rin moved her gaze from his chest to his face her eyes scanning over the moon on his forehead and the magenta stripes on his cheeks. He was so beautiful, so stunning… even when he was angry or at his worst she thought he was the most beautiful thing created.

He swallowed as she scooted onto her knees so she was almost level with him and she gently and unsure of what she was doing kissed his neck and then his chest. Sesshomaru large hand found her chin lifting it up so he could kiss her lips. She shuttered under the power of his kiss as he embraced her with one arm before gently laying her down. She looked up at him as he slowly dropped his hand down to her night gown and began removing it. Unsure Rin tried to cover herself up with the blanket, but Sesshomaru took it from her.

"I want to see you," he said more then asked. Rin just swallowed as he threw the blanket off the bed so she laid there in nothing but her under garment which only covered her bottom half. He looked at her a moment taking her in… she was so grown up and fully figured.

"I've never been naked in front of anyone," Rin said swallowing nervously as she bit her nail. He laid down next to her and placed his hand on her face slowly moving down gently until she felt his finger tips brush over her breast until he curved over it and down to her stomach. Rin's eyes widened and she squealed when his hand went down her under garment, "hey! What are you doing!"

"Calm down," Sesshomaru chuckled making her feel like and idiot, "relax I am trying to get you more comfortable with all of this. It's a process Rin I don't want to just throw you right into it."

"Yeah like it's going to make me comfortable with it," Rin sassed making Sesshomaru smirk before kissing her.

"Just relax… and be quiet," Sesshomaru said his hand going back down her under garments as she squirmed a little uncomrtoably. He just smiled as he looked her in the eyes as his he gently stroked with two of his fingers giving her the chills. She had never been touched before, and especially down there. It was frightening… but exciting for her at the same time! She had always wanted it to be with Sesshomaru. He gently slipped a finger inside carefully not to scratch her making her bite her lip a little uncomfortably so he stopped before kissing her neck and moving down her chest bone to her breast gently licking, kissing, bite, and sucking. Rin smiled a moment before her hand curled around his neck making him smile. He knew it was time he couldn't wait he had to have her. Within seconds the rest of his clothes were off and he was in between her legs grabbing at her undergarment, "are you ready?"

"Yeah," Rin smiled looking down curiously before blushing and looking back up. So that's what a man… or youkai looked like. 'Who knew,' Rin thought trying to not give away she was a little well really nervous. He pulled them off revealing all over her, every bit… all of her flesh. All that he desired lay in front of him, and he had more of a desire to just lay and be with her then to "BE" with her. But his body ached for her, it was ready and it wasn't waiting any longer. He slowly made his way between her legs before kissing her cheek and nipping at her neck. Rin bit her lip nervously as he position himself, he took her hand in his and placed it above her head.

"Squeeze if you need to squeeze. If it hurts too much we'll stop, though I doubt I'll want to," Sesshomaru said looking down at her. She nodded her understanding and then felt his tip gently brushing against her teasingly before slowly placing it on the entrance. Rin knew this was it she gently squeezed his hand tight and waited as he slowly began to push, Rin squeezed her eyes closed in pain trying to tolerate it as it made its way in. It seemed to take forever. Rin was relieved when it was all the way in and he stopped a moment to help her get used to it.

"Go ahead," Rin said gently as he kissed her lips and slowly began push in and out so she got used to the motion. It took awhile but slowly she got used to it… and she loved the way he kissed her. Such passion such furry as his stride got faster and faster, the heat of passion rose as they both began to get taken in by the moment. Her fingers pressing against his skin, his lips against hers, there flesh rubbing against each other and their bodies intertwined. It was the ultimate of acts and they shared it together, and for her it was her first. For him in what his best.

"I love you," he whispered after he finished and laid beside her. Rin breathed heavily her sweat and his mixed as he slid off her body next to her. His arm slid under her head so she could rest on his bare chest. Rin let a tear fall as she bit her lip.

"I love you too Sesshomaru," Rin said softly as he stroked her long black hair and her arm curled around his stomach. He drifted asleep as she lay awake afraid of the night to end… and the consequences of tomorrow.

Authors note- Sorry it took me so long to get a new chapter up. I have just been so darn busy and now I have to work at 8:00 AM and it's already 3:18 AM and no sleep cause I wanted to get this done. Thanks for reading!!


	17. Soulmate

**Chapter 17: ** A Soul mate…

Authors note: Hey you all! Thank you to those who read my chapter! Please review and let me know what you think! The less reviews the less motivated I am to keep going with the story! So let me know what I can work on and ESPECIALLY what you like!

Rin slept peacefully although her dreams held things she didn't want to dream about. She knew what she had done was wrong, but how could something that felt so wrong feel so damn right? It was a mystery… one that she was trying to figure out as Sesshomaru watched her sleep. He traced her every curve and frame as he touched her face making her stir. Her eyes bounced a moment before fully sliding open sleepily. She smiled forgetting for a moment everything else going on around them.

"Rin what is wrong?" he asked as she turned her head thinking back to a short memory she had.

--Memory--

A teen age Rin stumbled out into the courtyard where Sesshomaru stood staring at the wind, something he did regularly when a large wind storm hit. He could smell Rin on the breeze, but he would not turn to face her… he could not look at any woman including her at this moment. A moment he spent thinking of Kagura, and if only he knew it broke Rin's heart… perhaps he would have tried to hide his sadness a little more.

"Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said walking up behind him. Sesshomaru sighed as he felt her presence closing in on him.

"What Rin?" Sesshomaru asked not coldly but with a sadness in his voice that she heard every now and then.

"Does Lord Sesshomaru need to talk?" Rin asked smiling sweetly hiding the pain. That was the day he began sharing his secrets and feelings with Rin and Rin alone. It broke her heart to hear about how he was not happy… so she didn't make him happy.

-End of Memory-

"It's nothing," Rin said turning away from him making him sigh. What happened with in a few moments?

"Something is wrong Rin what is it?" Sesshomaru demanded making Rin puff.

"Nothing… I just began to think about something. About a moment," Rin said staring at the wall, "and how I truly felt."

"What moment Rin," Sesshomaru asked keeping his cool. Rin sighed hugging her pillow as he rolled over so that her back pressed against his strong chest.

"When you were in the yard and I walked out it was the first time you opened up to me. You weren't happy… and you had me," Rin said biting her lip making him sigh. He put his arm around her pulling her close.

"I'm happy when I'm WITH you Rin, I was blind and stupid… I thought what I had with her was something. It's nothing… she never talked to me the way you talked to me. You're my soul mate. Listen to me," he said making her turn around so he could look her in the way, "soul mate until the end of time you're my soul mate. I will love you until I get to where ever I go after I pass… and if I go first I will wait because I know I will never find another soul mate. Your love, there is no telling where I would be without your love. Strumming in the dark would be pretty rough, when I get down you're the one who lifts me up. I am thankful for you. The right one is hard to find which is why I am holding onto you, each and every night when we turn out the lights there is no mistake that what we have is true. Soul mate I hope that we grow old together soul mate, in the good bad even through the heart ache… we got a special bond that will never break. Rin you and I are soul mates. Soul mate… until the end of time you're my soul mate. I'll love you until the end Rin… no matter. Whether you believe it or not we are soul mates, and I know I will never find another soul mate."

"Sesshomaru," Rin said gazing at him with teary eyes, "I told you…"

"All the things I felt and never shared, all the time's that you were lonely with me there. The tears I wouldn't let fall from my eyes, and how I let you go without a fight. Rin the reasons I am alone I know by heart, but without you I will spend forever in the dark. I swear next time I'll hang on for dear life if you ever give me another try… if love ever gives me another try," he said interrupting her. Even though his face was solid, cold, and reserved… his eyes held the truth in his words, "There is no changing things that we regret, the best that we can hope for is one more chance. If the hands of time could just turn in reverse, I wouldn't make the same mistake again with you. The reasons I am alone I know by heart Rin, but I don't want to spend forever in the dark. Rin… just give me another try. If only you would give me another try Rin."

"You are all I can remember after all that we've been through forever in my heart. But I am through… and although I still can't believe it's true. I want to be with you I want to hold you tight it feels so right, but I can't… I've already made a promise. If by some miracle we are speared from our duties… then may we be together. So let's stop this fight Sesshomaru. Why can't true love be forever? Why did my dream explode? Why did you have to decide to late? One more night… I want to be with you where I can hold you tight it feels too right. So I'll leave it up to you, but that is all I can give. Someone is coming," Rin said hearing foot steps. Sesshomaru was shocked when she pushed him out of the bed, "hurry hide!"

"Rin?" Halder's voice came from behind her door as he began to walk. Rin shrieked softly as she scurried to grab her clothes as she watched Sesshomaru try to open her jarred window.

"In the closet!" Rin yelled a whisper pushing him in there and closing it. He growled angrily… never had he been forced to hide. He tried to open it, but Rin pushed it closed again, "if you want this to be happening then stay in the closet for a moment. When he is gone you can leave… and I will allow you back tonight."

"Rin?" Halder asked as Rin slowly lifted her hand from the closet door which he no longer tried to open. Rin walked to the main door and slid it open a bit and tried to act like she had just woken up.

"Halder? Hmmm what a lovely surprise," Rin said trying to look angry with him. He just it open and walked in past her making her sigh before rolling her eyes.

"I can sense you are unhappy with me," Halder said turning to look out the window not noticing the closet door that was cracked open a little bit.

"You didn't show like you promised you would? It was the third time this week," Rin said disappointed in her future husband.

"You know I am a busy man Rin, it is not that I did not want to spend time with you. Indeed I do, but my people and kingdom most come first," he said turning to face her. Rin's eyes nervously glanced to the closet door where amber eyes glowed in the dark. She swallowed before quickly looking back to Halder who had looked over to her bed where Sesshomaru's spiked pauldron (plate armor) that normally was on his left shoulder lay by Rin's feet, "what is that?"

"Nothing," she said quickly scooting it under the bed, "the point is maybe you should not focus on marrying if you cannot find time to be with whom you marry? I cannot marry a man I do not know."

"Do not say that Rin," he said walking towards her as she faced the closet door. He watched her eyes a moment before they snapped back onto him, "what is the matter? Is there something over there you wish to show me?"

"No I thought I heard something that is all," Rin tried to smile innocently.

"Shall I check the closet for you?" he asked turning to walk to the closet. Rin's eyes widened.

"NO!" She squeaked as she grabbed his arm turning him. He looked at her in confusion, "it would make me feel like a child to have you check the closet. I am a big girl I know there are no monsters in my closet…"

'Very funny Rin,' Sesshomaru thought sarcastically.

"Are you sure?" he said turning a little before she grabbed his face so that she could kiss him. Sesshomaru's eyes lowered in anger as a growl accidentally slipped making Halder turn his head to look, but Rin grabbed his face again and then wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her close as he kissed her. She tried to pull back but he followed her backwards until she slipped from his grip and fall onto her behind. She hit he floor with a thud making Halder try to hold back a laugh before asking if she was alright and helping her up.

"I am fine," Rin said shakily dusting herself off nervously. Halder just smiled as Rin walked to the door, "but I need to change."

"Alright my love," he said kissing her gently before walking out as she secretly rubbed her behind wondering whether there would be a bruise or not. When the door closed Rin walked to the closet door and opened it and stared at an angry Sesshomaru. His eyes were a scary red, and she knew he was very upset. She hated when he got like that.

"Lord Sesshomaru," she said stepping back a few steps afraid of what he might do, "you can come out now," she tried to laugh, but it came out weak and nervous.

'What is he going to do?' she thought nervously as he just stood there trying to calm down.

"I want his head," Sesshomaru growled in the dark making Rin look at him afraid. She swallowed before shaking her head.

"No," Rin's voice was weak and crackly, "don't. Sesshomaru…"

"Move," he said as she stood shakily in his way, "I command you to move."

"Sesshomaru Please," Rin cried as he grabbed her and pushed her aside. Rin lost balance and hit the ground with a thud as he walk past her. She slowly pushed herself up placing a hand on her head, "Please! Don't do this!"

"Sesshomaru?" Halder asked as Sesshomaru slammed the doors into the large throne room open and stormed in, "why do you barge in here in the middle of my meeting?"

"It's about Rin," Sesshomaru growled his eyes still red and his blood still boiling. Rin quickly ran to the door her hair all over the place as she watched Halder slowly stand up and walk down the steps do he could face Sesshomaru.

"What about her," Halder growled back making Rin swallow nervously. Sesshomaru would kill Halder without any doubt.

"I am taking her you will not marry her or take her as your own," Sesshomaru growled making Halder's eyes also glow red as he felt anger.

"How dare you come into the middle of the meeting you were supposed to be present in and then insult me by telling me that I cannot marry the woman I already plan on marrying. How dare you! Who do you think you are?" Halder growled getting dangerously close to Sesshomaru making Rin bite her lip.

"Sesshomaru!" she screamed catching both of their attention.

"Rin," Halder said looking at her making Sesshomaru look back to Halder feeling something inside of him telling him to take him out quickly.

"Do not say her name ever again," Sesshomaru growled making Rin run to him and grab his arm knowing he was about to attack Halder.

"Please," Rin begged staring up at the daiyoukai she loved.

"I own you," he said making everyone gasp and Rin feel embarrassed, "you owe me your life. I gave it to you and I gave you a life worth living. I own you, and you will obey me."

"Sesshomaru," Rin said tears filling her eyes as he looked down at her more with vengeance then anything. Was her punishing her. Sesshomaru turned to leave before stopping and speaking to Rin.

"Let's go Rin," he said as Rin looked back at Halder apologetically. Halder shook his head no.

"I will protect you," Halder said taking her hand making Rin glance back before lowering her voice.

"I'm protecting you," she said before turning to follow her lord. Halder and the others stood there in shock as Halder's future mate and wife walked away with their only chance at winning. Hope was slowly fading away for all… and for Rin.

--

Rin followed behind Sesshomaru down the dirt path with her bag of belongings, her horse, and Jaken following behind. No one said a word, but Rin's sniffles could be heard and smelt. He hated the smell of her tears, the smell of her pain… the acknowledgement that she was in any kind of turmoil. Sesshomaru stopped and told the others to pass except for Rin.

"Why?" Rin asked angrily as Sesshomaru looked at her with his same emotionless stare.

"I do not need to explain myself to you," Sesshomaru growled softly but not threatening.

"You owe me that much," Rin said angrily making Sesshomaru stare at her for a moment in the cold darkness. They had been traveling all day… he did owe her this much.

"Because I love you Rin," he said honestly, "this Sesshomaru has never been this desperate. Can you not understand how I feel?"

"No," Rin said walking past him making him grab her arm, "I hate you. I will never forgive you for this…" Rin pulled her arm away from him and continuted to walk leaving her lord standing there speechless. He thought she would be happy they could finally be together. But… she hated him? Why?

Authors note- Sorry it took me so long to get such a short story done. I've been so busy and so many people want on this damn computer especially after our other one broke. Thank you for reading. PLEASE COMMENT. Anything ideas I could add into my already planned out story lol. Man I know where I want to go and I have huge ideas for it… but nothing to fill it in on the way. So I get stuck. Man motivate me guys! Comments really help an writer with writers back. Laterz yall.

-Love4horses


	18. The Bloody Moon

Chapter 18: The bloody moon…

Authors note: Alright so I just finished this chapter… I know it took so long, I just kept getting a damned writers block on top of being busy AND fighting for computer time. Wow I know this is the WORST chapter ever… but I couldn't decide what to do or how to get it to where I want it. So I KINDA rambled innocent smile Sorry once again… and I hope that this isn't too terrible.

-Love4horses

They traveled for a few days and every night Rin would cry. Sesshomaru was beginning to lose his temper, he thought this was what she wanted… to be with him, forever. But if only that Sesshomaru could know her heart he would know that's what she wanted… but not that way not like that. Rin couldn't handle the thought of all those people dying because of them. Because of her.

Rin did not go to sleep on the fifth night, and so she stood up from the spot she lay looked around then walked into the woods where she could let out all her frustration and sadness. When she felt she was far enough away she let out her tears and everything came out in half a scream and half cry as she fell to her knees and hands letting her tears wet the soft soil as her nails dug at it trying to erase the guilt she was feeling. Her sobs broke the silence of the forest as she felt her body shake and her breathing get harder… she had never cried like this before. She knew something terrible was about to happen, she could feel it in her small bones. Sesshomaru's words began to ring in her head… those cold harsh words that made her start to feel cold and hatred. Something she never thought she would feel for her lord… her one true love.

"Rin," his voice broke the silence and she tried to hold back her sobs… but it was the scent of her distance tears that broke him from his concentration as he scouted out their area.

"Sesshomaru," she said swallowing nervously trying to wipe the tears away before standing up, "I mean LORD Sesshomaru."

"Rin… why are you crying? You cry every night…" he said stopping himself feeling himself get worked up, "Rin stand up."

"Yes my lord," she said standing up but not facing him.

"Face me Rin," demanding her in his commanding tone.

"Yes my lord," Rin said turning to face him, but her eyes would not leave the floor even after she had spoken. Sesshomaru could not understand why she was making him work so hard.

"Rin… let me see your eyes," he said as she stood looking at the ground for a moment.

"Yes… my lord," she said before biting her lip and slowly looking up at him. His deep amber eyes that glowed under the hazy black sky and silvery hidden moon seemed to take her away for a moment. How his white hair and white outfit glowed in the night. He was so beautiful.

"Don't say that anymore Rin," Sesshomaru said walking to her, "I've never made you do anything you didn't want to. So why are you crying?"

"You just did," Rin said looking at him her light chocolate orbs dancing with the liquid diamonds in her eyes as she held back the tears.

"I thought you wanted this," Sesshomaru said plainly as he stood there watching her.

"Not like this," Rin said shaking her head, "I didn't want it like this."

"Then how did you want it Rin?" Sesshomaru growled, "it is as simple as that."

"It's not simple at all Sesshomaru!" Rin yelled clenching her fist, "how dare you turn this into something simple. These are peoples lives."

"I don't care about their lives," Sesshomaru said without any hesitation or falseness in his words.

"Then you don't care about me! Or mine!" Rin yelled stepping towards him. Sesshomaru did not move, nor changed his facial expression as hers did.

"I don't need you Rin," he said simply making her face change to one of confusion and disbelief.

"Fine," Rin said staring at him a moment before walking forward and past him. He grabbed her arm with swiftness and growled softly his grip so tight she thought for sure it would crumble in his grasp, "let go! Let go! Let go of me!"

Rin struggled against his grasp pulling and crying until finally she fell and swiftly he caught her holding her close as her legs nearly collapsed. Sobs were released into his chest as he stood there with her in his arm, and he slowly looked down at the top of her head hating the fact she was in pain. Finally her legs got back their strength, but her sobs kept pouring as her arms gripped the flap of his kimono.

"Are you done?" he asked simply as she slowly looked up at him before his grasp loosened on her and she began stepping back. She was speechless for a moment, what could she say to such cold and callous words.

"If it pleases my lord so then yes I am," Rin said glaring at him as the silvery light began to slowly fade away. It was pitch black before a loud crack was heard across the sky and earth shook with fury making Rin lose her balance before Sesshomaru caught her by the arm so she wouldn't fall. Rin clung to him as the earth shook violently, and a scream escaped her lips when the earth began to crack and crumble. He pulled her to his side avoiding a falling tree, and quickly tried to get away from the madness with her at his side.

"Hurry Rin," he said running with her hand in his as she fell behind, "Rin!"

"Your going to fast!" she yelled before tripping over a rock and screaming as she hit the earth painfully remembering when she ran from the wolves… she never was a fast runner. Rin turned around to see another tree falling straight at her, and it would be the end for her once again. '_Goodbye Sessh…_' a large arm scooped her up nearly missing the giant falling tree. Rin opened her eyes to see her lord running with her in his one arm, she knew this was hard on him… only having one arm. He stopped when the earth stopped trembling and placed her down on the ground by his feet. Rin rubbed her swelling ankle as she sat on the ground and Sesshomaru sniffed the air trying to figure out what was happening, "Sesshomaru…"

"What is it Rin?" He asked turning from the forest around him to look down at Rin who sat covered in dirt and her dress torn.

"Look at the moon," Rin said blinking with wide eyes as she gazed up into the sky which was cascading a bright red light, "it's bleeding?"

"Something bad is about to happen," Sesshomaru said feeling something different in the wind.

"Why is it a bloody red?" Rin asked out loud her hand on her chest as she slowly stood up. Sesshomaru stared at it as well for a moment thinking about it, never had this happen in all of his LONG years.

"We should go back Rin," Sesshomaru said looking at her nervously as she stood looking at the sky.

"Back to what? The camp?" Rin asked dazing off as Sesshomaru sighed and grabbed her arm.

"Back to help Halder," Sesshomaru said hating the words slipping from his mouth as Rin looked to him with a smile.

"Thank you," Rin said smiling at him before throwing her arms around his neck. He sighed softly into her hair which tickled his sensitive nose.

"I only do this for you," he said softly enough so that the words could only barely reach her ears and no one else's. She pulled away and looked into his amber eyes feeling her own sting with a silly little sensation.

"I'll always only love you," Rin accidentally let slip making his eyes narrow as he looked down at her and Rin's widen in shock of her own words.

"You'll always be mine and I will always be yours Rin. No man can take that from me, though he may take your body… promise me I will remain owning your heart," he said touching her face before letting his face slowly fall down to hers which stared up at him.

"It will always be yours," Rin whispered as his lips fell onto hers as his arm squeezed her closer to him. He deepened his kiss pulling her as close as he possibly could, her back arched a little to relieve some of the tension on it. They found their way to the ground as he kissed her as if it were the first and last time. He only stopped for a moment to look at her, so that he could freeze that moment and lock it in his memories for the rest of his long and lonely life without her. He knew that they had to go back, mostly because he knew that this threat no longer only threatened Halder and his people. Now this was a world wide threat, and which fore so concerned Sesshomaru… and more importantly Rin.

"We need to go," he said softly making chills run through her skin. Rin nodded feelings her knees shake intensely. Together they made their way back to the camp together, under the bloody moon. What a mystery this was… why was the moon a bloody red? What was Naraku up to? Rin looked over at Sesshomaru who did not look at her, and realized if they went back… that they couldn't be together.

"You know what this means if we go back right?" Rin said looking at him even though he would not look back at her.

"Yes," he said in his usual monotone way. His deep yet intoxicating voice was back to normal, and so was her lord.

For a day and a half the group traveled silently back to Prince Halder's realm, and it was with great surprise that Jaken was disappointed in this. Normally he wouldn't mind less baggage (Rin) on their journeys, but he was saddened more and more at the thought of her not living with them. Rin hated the idea of not being with her lord anymore, she would be in the bed of some other man or well youkai. The sweetest sadness rested in Rin's heartbroken eyes, but she would not show them to the people when she got there. Slowly the large castle began to poke out and eventually the whole city was visible to their eyes. The gates slowly opened as they approached, and then word was quickly spread. Rin smiled as the town all gathered to greet her, and sure enough Halder was out on the steps waiting for them. Not sure what to think or how to react… but clearly something frightened him. And so he and everyone else should be… especially Rin.

Disclaimer-

I do not own Inuyasha nor any of the characters such as Sesshomaru, Jaken, Rin, Ah-un, etc.

THANK YOU GUYS.


	19. True power and love

Chapter 19: True power…

Authors note/Disclaimer/fluff alert:

Alright so this is REALLY long 9 pages… I figured I needed to make up for the last chapter being kinda crappy. So this has some Halder/Sagoe action (not like that) and some Rin Sesshomaru fluff… just to keep the story alive. Anywho I hope you enjoy PLEASE COMMENT AND KEEP THIS STORY ALIVE TOO. Thank you to those who did comment that's what inspired this chapter! Hopefully I did not let you down. I do not own Inuyasha or any of it's characters.

Sesshomaru sat uncomfortably in the large meeting room, he couldn't help but glance over to Rin who sat on the other side of the room with Gracie and the dance teacher. The room was set up where the prince sat at the main table with two men on each side of him and on either side long tables met from one end to the next. The door was closed so that no one could intrude upon the very important meeting.

Rin glanced over to Sesshomaru who sat there as stiff as a board listening to the silence as everyone took there seats. Jaken sat beside him on one side, and Soton joined him on the other. Rin then looked to Halder who sat in deep concentration as he glanced over his followers . No one said anything until Halder spoke, which did not come until the room was full and quiet. Many scribes sat with pen and paper ready there was two scribes for every end of the table recording their side's dialog. Then there was one beside Halder recording Halder's as well as much of the others as possible.

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice," Halder spoke a little shakily. Things were clearly more serious then he had suspected, "I'm sure you have all seen the moon outside. Clearly Naraku is up to something… what he is planning I do not know."

"Then what do you plan to do about it!" yelled someone on his left side, Sesshomaru's side. Rin looked to Halder sympathetically, she knew this must be hard on him. He had never dealt with anything like this it was usually his father who took care with battles and wars while Halder traveled the world.

"I have not yet come up with a plan this is why I have called upon a meeting. I figured this is something that must be discussed among people," Halder said looking amongst all of the other frightened faces.

"Your supposed to be our king?! And you don't have any kind of strategy! You are just a silly boy! Not fit to rule our kingdom!" a older military man who was one of the many non believers in Halder.

"That isn't fair! He is doing all he can!" Rin shouted standing up making Sesshomaru as well as everyone including Halder look over to her. Rin blushed as she slowly sank back down into her seat.

"Your just a little girl what do you know!" the same man from before shouted back at Rin.

"Rin is right," Sesshomaru jumped to her aid when a bunch of voices clashed together to tare Rin down for speaking out, "Halder is doing his best. He has never been one for this kind of thing, he was wise to bring it to council and let the people decide. After all it is there lives is it not?"

"Thank you Sesshomaru," Halder said bowing his head respectfully as everyone went quite. No one dared go against what Lord Sesshomaru had said… the last person to do that when he was there many hundreds of years ago was taken out with his acid whip. That story had carried on for many and many years and so therefore never forgotten. Rin smiled at her lord, but Sesshomaru did not return the smile he merely glanced away.

"Does anyone want to first place an idea on the table before I place mine down?" Halder asked looking to the people as his nerves made his blood boil.

"Send some men out to Naraku's whereabouts before he moves once more and hope that someone makes it back to tell you what is going on," Sesshomaru said sitting back into his seat. Halder nodded in agreement.

"But that would be suicide!" Rin said nervously, "he would soon figure it out and then no one would return!"

"What do you suggest then Rin?" Sesshomaru glared at her making her sink more into her seat before Sesshomaru spoke up again, "that's what I thought. That is why I will be going with."

"No!" Rin screamed out accidentally making everyone look to her. Rin didn't care this time, "you can't!"

"I am," Sesshomaru said not looking her in the eyes, "and you will not tell this Sesshomaru what he can and can't Rin. You are MY ward you take orders from me, not the other way around."

"Yes lord Sesshomaru," Rin said biting her lip before sitting back into her seat.

"Then I shall travel with you," Halder said knowing it was the right thing to do. Rin looked to him as if he was crazy.

"Now that is just crazy!" Rin said looking at him, "what about your people! Who will rule them when he kills you! You have responsibilities!"

"You have an opinion for everything don't you?" Halder chuckled as he watched Rin blush a little.

"Ha!" Jaken squaked making Sesshomaru look down at his little "side kick." before looking to Rin who looked so beautiful to him at that moment. What a woman, a leader, and fighter his little Rin grew up to be, "get used to it. She is more then opinionated, she is stubborn, unruly, curious, and some times all together annoying!"

"Thanks," Rin said giving him a look that showed she was in some way touched but he said a little too much at the same time.

"Yes well," Halder said smiling at her making her blush before trying to look away. Halder smiled before looking back to his fellow councilmen. Rin fidgeted in her seat as Halder and the others began to return to their former conversation. Rin sat in wonder as she watched them all discussing the plans for the route as Sesshomaru concocted his own plan within his secretive mind. Rin knew enough to know when Sesshomaru was planning something deep in his mind. He was going to do something rash something outrageous… something dangerous. It took a couple hours before Halder finally closed the conversation, "well gentlemen… and lady. I think it is time we retire to dinner and then too bed, fore tomorrow is going to be a long day of packing."

"Yes and as you wish," buzzed around the room as every one wearily got up to go home or the dinning hall. It was a very lively dinner as arguments rang through the great hall as others tried to eat in peace. Sesshomaru merely sat there watching them all with his large amber eyes full of a secret that was driving Rin mad. She had to know what he was up to, she had to know what might not bring her lord back to her safely. Rin finished her meal but did not leave the table until her lord did. Sesshomaru stood up as he watched Rin watch him, he was shocked to see her stand up also.

"Good night Rin," Sesshomaru said more as a demand then courtesy. Rin just smiled and bowed before she heard Halder speak up.

"Rin may I speak with you," Halder said catching both Rin and Sesshomaru's attention.

"Oh… well of course," Rin said bowing her head to him also. Sesshomaru was not going to cause another scene, but could not bare what Halder had to say to her so he left. Rin watched her lord leave feeling rather sad that he did not jump in and claim her as his once more. Perhaps her lord had forgotten his love for her, or maybe he never meant it.

Rin followed Halder out into the court yard which was full of beautiful smelling flowers. When Halder turned to her Rin couldn't help but feel her heart beat as he watched her eyes dance with nervousness. Rin smiled weakly unsure of what to say in a situation like the one at hand, so, Halder decided to take the awkward silence as a opportunity to speak out first.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened," he said bringing Rin's fears to life. That was the one thing she had hoped to avoid, "I need to know if you will still be my wife Rin. I figured that since Sesshomaru had shown such displeasure that you would be too frightened to hold up to the arrangement."

"Oh well I…" Rin didn't know what to say. But she knew that at that moment he needed something to return for, and she needed someone who would want her no matter what. Sesshomaru did not protest… he did not care, "I am not frightened. We returned did we not?"

"Good then we shall get married then?" Halder asked looking deep into her chocolaty eyes. Rin smile and nodded yes unable to get the words to pour from her mouth. He smiled before taking her in his arms and hugged her. Rin just faked a smile back before thinking of an excuse to make.

"Well prince Halder I most get my sleep tomorrow is going to be such a long day," Rin said smiling before kissing his cheek.

"Yes, yes it will. I will look forward to returning… so that I may marry you," Halder said kissing her hand. Rin just bowed her head and then walked past him.

"I will see you tomorrow," Rin said turning to smile. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but wanted to try to be as realistic as possible. He just nodded with a smile then turned to wonder through the court yard. Rin quickly exited leaving Halder to himself. He sighed as he turned to look at where Rin once stood and knew her heart was no longer wanting only him… it wavered a little. What happened to pull her away from him? Perhaps he could make her fall in love with him some how.

"Halder my lord?" a girls voice broke through making him jump. It was much softer then Rin's but also much more mature.

"Oh Sagoe you could have startled me," he said as he let out a sigh and a small laugh, "it's been awhile since we'vet met in here."

"It's been fifty seven years twenty eight days since we last met and talked in here. Before your last departure on one of your adventures," Sagoe smiled under the moon light her long golden hair fell down her back. All though she was a hanyou like her brother she looked less human then him. She had more elf like ears and silvery marks on her cheeks. She was very much so beautiful and magical, where as Rin had a simple beauty.

"Well you were always one to remember better then I," Halder said smiling at her as he sat down on a bench. Sagoe sat down beside him.

"No, it was merely you were enjoying your trips away while I would sit waiting for your return counting down the days… hoping they would be shorter then the last," Sagoe said not looking at him.

"I'm sorry to have made you wait so long old friend," Halder said sighing, "I was too busy off trying to make new friends who I would never see again and was too blind as to see who my true friends here were. You have remained loyal, you deserve a better friend."

"Yes perhaps, but it is you who I became friends with so many hundreds of years ago… when we were but little pups," Sagoe laughed before looking to him at her side.

"I suppose you are right… back then I was more of a friend. Then I grew up and took advantage of your friendship… and then I cared only for myself. I am sorry Sagoe that I had become so selfish, I am changing I will be a better man one my father would be proud of," Halder sighed, "one that…"

"He would be proud of you now," Sagoe said making him return her gaze, "I am."

"Thank you Sagoe you have been my most faithful friend and companion. I am sorry if I ever hurt you by leaving the way I did. I was not around much… so… have you, met anyone?" Halder said feeling rather awkward. For some reason he did not want to hear about her holding some affection for another.

"Well…" Sagoe said not quite sure what to say to that, "there has been someone to offer an courtship..."

"He is probably not good enough," Halder broke in surprising the both of them, "I don't know if anyone is…"

"That is not fair to say my lord," Sagoe said looking away and looking down, "how easy is it for you to say. You are taking a human girl to court."

"Yes I suppose you as well many others would see it that way," Halder said a little heatedly, "but she is a great woman."

"And I never was!" Sagoe yelled standing up and looking down at him, "why did you never notice me? I sat waiting for you for so many years to return and you never noticed me never said anything."

"I never knew you cared," Halder said in shock, "I never…"

"Well now you know I did! So do no insult the ones I so choose to let court me or I so choose to choose. You chose a human girl!"

"Sagoe?!" Halder said jumping up as she stormed off. He let out a sigh before slumping back to where he sat, 'she was always so beautiful that all the others wanted her. I left many times so I would not see her with anyone else, so it would hurt less when she took on a mate. I'm sorry Sagoe… I never knew you felt the same.'

--

Rin walked down the hall checking behind her constantly to see if anyone was following her. Rin stood for a moment staring at the door that led to Sesshomaru's room. She thought about knocking but knew he would just say to go away, so she gave it a quick tap and threw the door open to see him sitting at his fixed desk. Sesshomaru looked at her unable to pull his eyes from her, slowly he stood up trying to make himself angry to see her… but something inside him felt more calm with her around.

"Rin," he said not moving from where he stood. Rin just walked in and closed the door behind her.

"I know your up to something," Rin said closing the door and making him growl.

"Get out Rin now," he said not wanting her to know what he planned to do. Rin just stepped forward.

"I demand to know right now!" Rin said putting her foot down. Sesshomaru didn't say anything he just stared at her. Rin looked at him and took a step forward and she swore she thought she saw him hesitate and nearly step back. Rin took another step forward unsure of what to say, "what are you going to do?"

"None of your business. Shouldn't you be with your future mate?" Sesshomaru tried to say coldly. Rin just walked towards him more and he just growled making her stop a moment.

"Shouldn't you be with your future mate?" Rin asked trying to pretend like it didn't hurt her to say it.

"I will be soon enough," he said hoping it would hurt Rin for hurting him. Rin just took a deep breath and glanced at the window.

"So then you will leave when this is all over?" Rin asked not looking at him, "won't you even be there for the wedding?"

"No," Sesshomaru said without any hesitation. Rin just bit her lip and nodded before looking back at him.

"I don't think I can do it without you there," Rin said swallowing nervously as he stared at her with his usual expression. Rin looked past the cold exterior for a moment and stared into his eyes.

"Your going to have to figure it out on your own," Sesshomaru said feeling his breathing get heavier.

"What are you planning?" Rin asked walking so that she stood in front of the desk. Sesshomaru just stared at her and couldn't help but realize that… he did need her. That's why he said he didn't, in all reality… he needed her more then anything.

"To save you," Sesshomaru said still staring at her. Rin's mouth parted a little in shock before squinting her eyes a little. Sesshomaru walked out from behind the desk and Rin slowly turned so that he could face her.

"It wasn't a coincidence that in the forest that creature wanted you. I had warning before that Rin… the worst part of it is I don't know why. It isn't because of me this time, this time… he is planning something to do with you. I never thought this possible Rin, but I am going to be the one to stop Naraku… other wise I will never be able to rest unless I watch him die. Then you can go on… and create a life with Halder," Sesshomaru swallowed before turning away from her. Those words burned him so painfully he didn't want her to see… that he really, really, REALLY did NOT want her with Halder or anyone other then him.

"Don't leave me," Rin said feeling her eyes get watery, "don't go… don't leave. Please stay with me."

"I can't Rin," Sesshomaru said looking down at her, "I have to go I am the only one who can stop him Rin. He is going to think I am staying here with you, so he will be surprised and unprepared when I show up and duel him. Rin you must stay."

"No," Rin said grabbing his arm, "I can't."

"You'll be fine I will leave Jaken here with you, Soton, and some other great soldiers you will be fine Rin," Sesshomaru said touching a lock of her long black hair, "nothing will happen to you."

"I'm not worried about me my lord… I'm worried about you," Rin said unable to hold back the tears.

"Don't worry about me Rin," he said giving a small rare smile, "this Sesshomaru is not afraid. He has something to live for. I will not die unless I know he is dead and you are safe."

"That's what scares me Sesshomaru…" she said sobbing her face dropped to the ground so he couldn't see her tears, "that you'll fight him and you'll be so wounded that instead of fleeing you'll fight until one dies… and then you will die after."

"As long as your safe Rin," Sesshomaru said simply as if he wasn't scared, "I would just to know your safe."

"NO!" Rin yelled hitting him in the chest so that he had to grab her and pull her close, "no, no, no please."

"Rin shhhh," Sesshomaru said sighing as he put his arm around her so he could hold her close. Rin just cried into his chest fearing if she moved he would leave and by gone forever.

"I don't think," Rin whimpered softly before whispering, "that I can live without you."

"You will learn Rin," Sesshomaru said feeling heartbroken, "I'm sorry Rin. If I hadn't pushed you so far away for so long, you wouldn't have had to make a choice. But now I know what my father was asking me… he knew that someday I would have something to protect. I need to protect you. That is my purpose for being, that is my greatest power… it's my weakness. And you're my weakness."

"Sesshomaru," Rin said looking up at him with her water logged eyes unable to break them. Sesshomaru just gently stroke her cheek before she threw her arms around his neck and pushed her lips into his. He did not miss a beat for he had been thinking about the same thing. With ease his hand found the fold of her familiar orange patterned kimono which she wore before they had ever come to this weird place. He revealed her beautiful soft shoulders as he kissed down her neck making her close her eyes and lean into his kisses. One of her hands grasped behind his neck as the other on his lower back. He loved the feel of her tiny fingers pressing against his skin.

Rin helped undress her lord with trembling fingers as he slowly eased her towards the bed. Rin felt her heart pound so loud she thought he was moving to its very beat, which made her turn red. He knew she still was unsure and innocent, and that's what made it so beautiful. Although it wasn't entirely new to him it felt like it was, it felt so different… it felt meaningful. For the first time he realized why his father did what he did… he was able to see true beauty. The only difference was beauties skin was unmarked untainted and youthful… it was not tattooed with demon markings or battle scares. Nor was it centuries old. But still it was a wise and old skin mixed in with youth and innocence. It was so intoxicating so refreshing! He could help but pull her closer as he nipped at her neck so tempting to mark it to claim it as his… but he knew that he could not, he made a promise to her. Rin climbed onto the bed watching her lord as he slowly made his way on as well, but he did not take her there, no, he sat there watching her for a moment. Rin smiled at him feeling her cheeks go red.

"What is it?" she giggled feeling her heart beat. He took her hand and placed it on his heart.

"It beats the same as yours doesn't it?" Sesshomaru sighed realizing how foolish he had been for hating his father for loving a human and creating a pathetic hanyou.

"It does," Rin said smiling before leaning forward to kiss him, "only mine beats for you."

"Good," Sesshomaru said touching her face gently, "Cause mine would stop beating for you. Rin…"

"Don't say it," Rin said taking his hand, "please because my heart cannot take it my lord."

"I'm sorry," Sesshomaru said catching Rin off guard. Never had Sesshomaru since she had been around said sorry, even when he was wrong and should apologize.

"Don't be just don't say it," Rin said looking at him placing her fingers through his long white hair. With her other hand she traced the purple marks on his beautiful face, "Sesshomaru…"

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever touched," Sesshomaru said kissing her lips, "and I have touched the most beautiful treasure and pieces of arts in the world. Rin nothing could ever mean as much to me… as you do. I've never looked forward to the day time before you came into my life, I had a real reason to search for power because I had something to protect… but then I realized that power doesn't have to mean ruling the world or controlling. Power can be how you effect people or someone, power is surrendering yourself. And here I am Rin I am yours even though it is only for a moment, because when this is all over it his bed you will share…"

"Please stop," Rin cried she couldn't bare to hear anymore or think of being with Halder, "I don't love him Sesshomaru I love you. I don't want to think about it please don't make me think about it."

Sesshomaru just watched her for a moment before pulling her to him so he could kiss her. His lips fell over her and showered her with affection as he pulled her kimono from her. Rin laid down as he took the rest of his clothing off and laid down on her, Rin smiled as her hand found his face and pushed away the fallen hair. He kissed her deepening it as the passion of the moment grew hotter and more intense. She felt him positioning himself as she kissed him waiting for the pain. To her surprise it didn't hurt quite as much, however it still hurt and so he was as gentle as he could be. It was different then there first time. It was not as quick Sesshomaru seemed to be holding himself back, trying to create a moment… a memory that she could hang onto when he was gone. That was when she realized he did not plan on coming back, she knew deep inside he planned on dying in this last duel.

She dug her nails into his skin as he kissed her and gently eased in and out. He stopped a moment so he could look down at her, and her hand found his chest where she gently moved her hand over his firm muscular chest. She smiled up at him and pushed herself up a little so she could reach him and release a gentle kiss. He let loose a small smile before bending down so he could kiss her and resume kissing her and repeating his slow motion so that they could be one. He loved her and this was his way of showing it, this time it wasn't about claiming her in his mind, making her his, possessing her, or some kind of victory. It was him wanting to me with her, and creating a memory for the both of them. It was his way of feeling like he had done as much as he could to show her how much he did love her… even if it took him awhile to show it.

It had gone on for an hour until he finally collapsed and she smiled laying her head on his chest. She wrapped her arm around him as he wrapped his only arm around her. She propped herself up so she could rest her chin on his strong chest and just watched him. He looked over at her then looked away, but he could not help but notice she was staring at him.

"What is it Rin?" He said staring at the ceiling. Rin just smiled bigger and laid her head back down on his chest.

"Nothing," Rin said biting her lip and sighing. Rin snuggled in more before he rolled her over and he looked down at her.

"What is it?" Sesshomaru said looking down at her and she just shook her head no making him growl, "Rin what is it? I am losing my patience."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Rin asked trying to hold back a laugh, "bite me?"

"Maybe," he said before nipping at her neck and arm making her laugh as she tried to push him away.

"It's just that…" Rin didn't seem to know what to say or even how to say it, "I… don't want… I'm so. I don't know."

"Rin you don't have to say anything it's not mandatory," Sesshomaru said looking at her, "I will never force you to do anything you don't want to again I promise."

"I didn't do this because you forced me to Sesshomaru I didn't do the first time because you forced me to," Rin said sighing as she looked him the blanket pulled way up over her but tucked under her arm pits.

"Oh really? Do tell," Sesshomaru said giving another small smile.

"I thought about it for awhile, what it would be like… and well although it frightened me I wanted to," Rin said smiling at him, "and Sesshomaru I've always just… I don't know."

"It's alright Rin," Sesshomaru said touching her face then placing his hand under her chin and kissing her. She just smiled and laid back down into his chest, "Rin…"

"Yes?" Rin said closing her eyes to sleep.

"I love you," he said making her look to him and smile before kissing his chest and then kissing his chin, then moving to his lips.

"I've always loved you," Rin said smiling down at him making him squeeze her down to him so he could kiss her some more.

Authors note: I know I know I know that was way mushy for Sesshomaru but you gotta admit when you fall in love you tend to change. Sometimes we realize the things we never thought about. If that makes sense. Anyways I am off now to go see my very OWN (not white haired) Sesshomaru. Someone I love but is being a stubborn butt and not wanting to admit his feelings… well he did unfortunately but most time that's when he has been drinking. Cough cough douche cough cough.

Later,

Love4horses

PLEASE COMMENT AND KEEP THIS STORY ALIVE TOO. Thank you to those who did comment that's what inspired this chapter! Hopefully I did not let you down.


	20. The last night before the journey

**Chapter 20**: The last night…

Authors note + Disclaimer: this is going to be short because it is well about their last night before the men leave. And thank you to those who reviewed! It means SOOOO much to me that I had to stop what I was doing and write this chapter fast.

I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters this is purely fan made. All I own is the plot and so on so forth.

Rin sat patiently waiting for Sesshomaru, and her memories began to take her back to the past week. Halder had gotten involved more into planning details of the march, and Rin met with Sesshomaru every chance she could get. Together they would stow away into the forest, or find themselves deep into the large noisy city. Sometimes they would even hide away in the castle's abandoned rooms.

"Rin," Sesshomaru said walking in unlike his usual emotionless stance, he was more worried… or more anxious.

"Sesshomaru," Rin said greeting him with a kiss and a hug. She wondered why this time his squeeze was so tight and lingering. Rin pulled away and looked into his deep amber eyes.

"We need to talk Rin," Sesshomaru said staring back at her. Rin just swallowed nervously afraid of the words that would be coming from his mouth.

"No we don't…"

"Rin we do," he said cutting in trying to not get mad at her for interrupting what he was saying he was getting used to it, "I leave tomorrow. Halder has just made it final."

"What?! No," Rin said looking to him with desperation before jumping into his arms, "please don't go."

"We already talked about this Rin," Sesshomaru said looking at her seriously. Rin looked up at him before letting go of the flaps of his kimono and turning so he could not see her tears, "you cannot hide your crying from me. I may not see it, but you forget I can smell them. Don't cry Rin… we both knew this was coming."

"No," Rin said walking towards the door before Sesshomaru blocked it making her jump when he stood in front of her growling.

"Act like an adult Rin you cannot walk away…" Sesshomaru said before she tried to push past him her face puffy and blotchy with tears. He grabbed her arm making her struggle which only made him tighten his grip.

"I can't let you go," Rin said grabbing his shirt, "I'll die without you."

"Your engaged remember," Sesshomaru said giving her a 'I don't believe you' look.

"I won't survive then either," Rin said pouting making him give a small smile, "Sesshomaru why can't you take this seriously? Why can't you understand… perhaps because your life has been so long, and mine won't last much longer. Every minute and second counts…"

"Rin you must understand that because I've lived so long, and it had gone on for so long… it seems like the moments I happiest the only moment I have ever been happy lasted seconds and will end soon as well. I'm afraid of the next second… cause it might not hold anymore happiness," Sesshomaru said touching her face, "Rin you are the reason I am going, remember?"

"I know," Rin cried with his hand on her face, "but that doesn't mean I am not scared."

"You should be," Sesshomaru said still stroking her soft face, "why shouldn't you? It's dangerous for you… you will be left alone with little…"

"Not me I am scared about you," Rin said quickly barely making the words understandable. Rin felt her lip quivering as she stared into his eyes, "how did we get to this? This wasn't your battle to fight…"

"It is now," Sesshomaru said kissing her lips, "your life is involved now. Naraku has plans for you that no one knows about, they've tried to capture you several time now. I love you Rin."

"I love you too," Rin said letting out a shaky sigh as he pulled her close into a hug, "I will never love anyone but you."

"I will never love anyone but you and I never have loved anyone like I love you. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner," he said stroking her hair as she cried into his chest.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you realize it any time sooner," Rin said sniffling before squeezing him tighter, "all that matters is 'now'."

"Your right," Sesshomaru said smiling at her before pulling away and taking her hand. The two took off towards the forest to take their normal stroll, but it was a little different then their normal walk. It was more quiet… both were in deep thought. Rin couldn't help but feel so down and sad.

That day was spent almost in silence as they finished there walk and then went to dinner when the sun was slowly lowering itself. Rin tried to smile like usual, but everyone was silent. It would be there last day in the castle before they would take off on their deadly mission. Halder was the most quiet as he stole glances at Sagoe who sat with her brother. It would be the last moment for them all to spend together, for if they returned their would be many vacant seats.

"I am going to retire early tonight," Rin said standing up and looking to Sesshomaru quickly before returning her stay to Halder.

"Very well goodnight Rin," he said his voice a little shaky. Rin smiled at him sympathetically.

Rin laid in her bed crying knowing that Sesshomaru and the men were packing there items. Everything was being prepared into wagons. Slowly her eyes began to shut and she drifted off into a terrible dream. Rin woke up and took deep breaths as she looked outside at the foggy and eerie night entangled with a bone rattling red moon. Rin bit her lip before snuggling back into her cozy bed. The door flung open and shut fast making Rin jump up before Sesshomaru placed a finger to his mouth trying to keep her quiet. Rin let out a breath jumping onto her knees bouncing into his arm. He held her close kissing her forehead.

"I thought I would be fine, that I could go without seeing you… I couldn't I had I have to be with you," he said kissing her making her hang onto him tightly.

"Thank you," she said looking up into his eyes, "stay with me tonight."

"I was waiting for you to ask," he let a rare smile slip again. It was a Sesshomaru he showed to no one but her. Rin cried as he kissed her face pulling her so close he could feel her heart beat.

"Well I've asked," she said pulling away so she could look at his face, "all I ask is for tonight…"

"You have me tonight," Sesshomaru said looking at her as normally as ever but with a passion burning in his eyes, "and forever."

"Good," she smiled before kissing him and wrapping both her arms around his neck as he gently laid her down. That night meant more to them then any, it was the last night before he took off. She couldn't help but love the feel of his chest. Her lover, her friend, her world. His Rin… his everything.

Authors note: I know it was very mushy, but hello so is love! We all act differently with the one we've fallen for then we would others. Believe me I know this first had… so sorry that things are kinda ooc. THANK YOU. Review and let me know what you think constructive POSITIVE criticism always appreciated. And I love comments that say they like things! And ideas are ALWAYS welcome… I will usually find a way to work them in so go ahead and share if you want to see something happen.


	21. Life and death

**Chapter 21:** Life and Death

Authors note: Wow I am so happy and excited with all of these new story faves and alerts as well reviews which I LOVE that I had to get started. Thank you all so much! It makes me want to try harder!

P.S- It brings more of the effect it brought me if you listen to these songs

"Again and Again" by Jewel and "Hero," the instrumental piece on like youtube or I prefer while listening to the part after the " " and the first half just listen to something sad. LOL.

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.

Rin sat up against the bed board hugging her knees as she watched Sesshomaru dress himself slowly. It was extremely early, he had to get to his room before anyone woke up so he could finish packing. Rin bit her lip before sighing and dropping her head, and yet Sesshomaru did not glance at her. He could not afford weakness. Not at this moment, not when danger was waiting for it so closely.

"Sesshomaru," Rin said softly, but he pretended he did not hear her. Rin knew he was trying to make it easier on him, and that he was afraid of letting go of himself.

"I have to go back to my room now," Sesshomaru said not looking Rin in the eye as he turned around leaving Rin feeling heart broken. He stopped a moment, but didn't look back at her, "…I'm sorry."

"Ses…" before she could get anything in he was out the door. Rin sat there with teary eyes as she hugged her knees letting her sadness wash over her. Rin couldn't leave her room, she couldn't face the day… or what would happen in a few days. Her whole world was spinning, the room, the town, the country, the world… and her heart was being torn and spilled all over. She knew this probably amused Naraku, she knew that this was probably falling into one of his many scheming plans. Naraku was not a good person in fact he was a terrible demon, but he was a very clever and smart individual. This scared her more then death itself, the fear of falling into a trap and losing Sesshomaru. In fact Rin would rather end her life there, just get it over with for no life was a life if Sesshomaru was not apart of it… or at least breathing in it.

Rin heard a knock at her door which made her jump before she called for it to be opened, was it Halder? Had he seen Sesshomaru leave her room? He would be so furious… she would have to tell him the truth. Rin watched as Gracie walked in and smiled at her trying to hide her knowledge.

"Late night?" Gracie asked smiling, "don't worry about explaining my mouth is sealed."

"Thank you," Rin said before bursting into tears making Gracie sigh before sitting down next to her.

"You two are so much of a crazy story I don't know anymore," Gracie said putting her arm around her, "what is wrong?"

"He is acting as if he doesn't care he is leaving! I feel like I… I just don't matter! He makes me so mad!" Rin yelled jumping up storming around, "stupid pig headed idiot! I hate him! I hate him!!"

"Wow," Gracie said in shock, "just know that because he doesn't notice your special doesn't mean your not. You're a very special person Rin."

"Thank you," Rin said sitting back down and letting out a sigh, "I just don't get it Gracie… he acts so loving, so true… like he really does want to be with me, then when he has me it all changes. I want to hurt him sometimes, sometimes I want to say goodbye, sometimes I want to disappear, and sometimes I wish I had never met him… but then I start to think about it and I don't regret meeting him. I love him."

"Wow," Gracie said looking at her unsure what to say, "love is stronger then anything out there in this world… including Naraku."

"I don't know about that anymore Gracie… I loved him so much, so deeply that it hurts. And yet when I try to be with another, I can't get myself to want to be with them," Rin said sighing, "what am I going to do? I'm losing it. I'm losing him. So I am losing me."

"First you are going to get dressed in a beautiful dress, and then your going to go out there and tell him you will see him later. Bid the men farewell and wait for his short and swift return," Gracie said holding her wrist, "you know how Sesshomaru is. He is who he is you have to except that, either you love him for the way in everyway he is… or you don't really love him at all."

"That's what's so hard," Rin cried, "I know I love him for it all… but it still kills me."

"Let's find you a dress," Gracie said no longer wanting to talk about that. She was having her own issues with her secret lover.

--

Rin stood looking at herself in the mirror trying to hold back the tear that wanted to fall as she watched her so normal figure. What was so special about her? Why couldn't she be more like Sagoe? Or the female demon back in her castle… or any of the other girls that were so beautiful leaving Rin feelings second best. She didn't blame Sesshomaru for not loving her like she loved him… he was beautiful, she was ordinary. Rin let out a sigh before turning and walking out the door as the men gathered in the large cobblestone streets. Rin walked down the stairs and out the door. The people greeted her, they needed her, they needed some hope, and she was all they had left. Rin shook hands and excepted hugs, but her eyes kept wondering to her lord who stood off to the corner with Halder. Neither talked to the other, for they both knew the other desired Rin… and this made it so their so called friendship wasn't strong. Sesshomaru loved Rin to his surprise, and Halder wanted Rin… needed the idea of her.

"Are we ready men? Say your goodbyes," Halder said looking over to Sagoe who was clinging teary eyed to her brother who was going to leave for a few days to secure the area. Rin walked to Halder catching his attention, "Rin…"

"Halder," Rin curtsied before giving him a hug in which she meant, although she did not love him she cared deeply about it. He was a good man, a very busy but good man.

"Until I return Rin," he said pulling away and leaving a quick simple kiss making Sesshomaru turn his head trying to keep his cool.

"Right," Rin said smiling weakly. Halder just gave her a fake smile before acknowledging someone else trying to get his attention. Rin stumbled to Sesshomaru through the crowd of people, and for that moment it felt like no one was there but them two.

"Rin," he said in his deep voice in his usual tone.

"I guess it's goodbye?" Rin asked trying to hold back the tears. Sesshomaru looked down at her saying nothing. Rin just took a deep breath before, to his surprise as well a few others, jumped into his arms nearly knocking him over. Sesshomaru stood there as he slowly lifted his arm to her back, and for a moment imagined never seeing her again… his arm squeezed tighter before hiding his face into her hair as she squeezed tightly. He was never a hugger, but at that moment the thought of losing her was so real. Before it was a game, but now… now it was real.

"Goodbye," Sesshomaru said softly close to her ear. Rin sniffled not letting go even though his grip was loosening, "Rin…"

"No," Rin said grasping tighter to him not caring who saw before whispering to him, "if you will then I will Sesshomaru… and if you try to then I'll try to live long enough until life brings us together. Love is here to stay Sesshomaru I cannot live if your not alive. Just look me in the eye because this is do or die Sesshomaru do not forget that. And do not forget I will stay in love until you say enough, because there is no giving in… there is no giving up on love."

"Rin," he said pushing away from her but not letting go so he could look into her ever so dangerously serious eyes, "I'm not giving up… I'm going for love. If only I had known, everything I had done was for love."

"Sesshomaru," Rin cried out before he pulled her back into a hug so that no one could see her tears. She let them loose as she heard Halder call the men back into line. Rin couldn't let go as Sesshomaru tried to slowly pry her off and when no one was looking laid a kiss gently on her lips. Rin cried as he kissed her forehead and slowly walked away. How was this happening.

"Goodbye for now until this life or the next," Sesshomaru said for the first time sadness stretching across his face. Rin watched holding her hands to her chest before taking something out of her pocket and running to Sesshomaru, "Rin you must go back…"

"Take this," Rin said handing him a small bag the size of her hand. Sesshomaru took the small bag that had been kept in a pouch in her sad beautiful blue dress. He placed his hand on the back of her head pulling her into his chest so he could kiss the top of her head. He quickly let go and turn swiftly marching away as fat as possible so his, although he wouldn't admit he had them, emotions got the better of him and he turned around and made her his taking her with him.

Rin cried hugging herself as the men marched away further and further. The cold autumn wind blew past her sending the chills down her body. She couldn't help but watch as Sesshomaru's long silvery hair began to disappear as the men went to make their stand. Soon Sesshomaru would take off on his own, they were slowing him down… but he wanted Rin to think he was going to stay with the others. Rin slowly turned to face Sagoe in one corner watching her secret loved on walk away, and then to Gracie who could see the pain on Rin's face… the same as the pain on Sagoe's face as she slowly turned to walk back to the castle holding back her tears for when she laid in her bed. For the first time Sagoe and Rin both understood each other and was not threatened.

"Come let us go inside," Gracie said holding out her older hand. Rin took it feeling her lip quiver slightly as they entered the castle.

Rin walked to her room feeling as if she were a ghost walking past the workers who were trying to clean the mess and prepare rooms for the soldiers to stay in the castle protecting it. Rin walked up the staircase not knowing that she was being followed by three others. Rin stopped and slowly turned her head to look at the door that once hid Sesshomaru at nights and him a few hours ago. Rin breaths came in beats as she tried to blink back the tears. She bit her lip before turning to face the large dark brown oak door which stared at her unblinking unchanging. Her hand found it's cold metal feeling the same way as she slowly turned it scanning the room with her watery eyes shutting the door behind her. She walked in slowly looking around the room at all of the things he left behind. Rin placed her hand to her mouth before rocking back and forth and falling to her knees letting out a scream of pain as the tears cam pouring down she fell forward laying on the floor gripping at the large white rug he had placed there soaking it with her tears.

Gracie placed her head down as she heard the sobs/screams of pain that fell from that poor tortured girl, Soton who had come back early placed a hand on her shoulder before they walked away giving her a moment alone. Jaken walked out from the corner and stood by the door feeling for once sad and sympathy he had never felt for a human before. Rin's pain was felt through the whole castle, some thought it was for Halder… and others knew better. Rin crawled desperately to his bed where the smell of him still lingered. Rin cuddled into his giant covers as if they were his arms, and fell asleep crying to his memory.

Sesshomaru sat by the fire as he thought of the reason to live, his reason to live. What she was doing, where she was at, how she was doing. Was she in her bed? Crying herself to sleep? Was she in the garden? Thinking about him at all? Was she out with her horse? Angry with him for leaving? Where and what could she be doing?

He slowly opened the little pouch that hung under his kimono around his neck. He pulled out a small chunk of her hair that she had cut off and tied together with a silver bow, the ruby necklace he had bought for her what seemed like so long ago, and a small piece of parchment saying, 'now you have a reason to return. Return this to me. I love you. –Rin'

"Rin," he softly whispered into the cold crisp autumn air as he glanced the items and kissed it before placing them back into the safety of the little brown cloth bag and tucking back into his kimono for safe keeping. Sesshomaru looked up into the star filled sky as the others around him slept, even the large pop from the fire pit did not stir him from thinking about Rin.

--

It had been two days and Rin had not left Sesshomaru's bed, all of his scent was slowly fading away to nothingness. It was as if everything was trying to erase him from her life, she cried into the pillow again hugging his giant blanket into her chest as she sobbed thinking about him and the way he moved, the way he smiled when he did, the moments they spent together.

--Flashback--

"_What is it?" she giggled feeling her heart beat. He took her hand and placed it on his heart. _

_"It beats the same as yours doesn't it?" Sesshomaru sighed realizing how foolish he had been for hating his father for loving a human and creating a pathetic hanyou. _

_"It does," Rin said smiling before leaning forward to kiss him, "only mine beats for you."_

_"Good," Sesshomaru said touching her face gently, "Cause mine would stop beating for you. Rin…"_

_"Don't say it," Rin said taking his hand, "please because my heart cannot take it my lord."_

_"I'm sorry," Sesshomaru said catching Rin off guard. Never had Sesshomaru since she had been around said sorry, even when he was wrong and should apologize. _

_"Don't be just don't say it," Rin said looking at him placing her fingers through his long white hair. With her other hand she traced the purple marks on his beautiful face, "Sesshomaru…"_

_"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever touched," Sesshomaru said kissing her lips, "and I have touched the most beautiful treasure and pieces of arts in the world. Rin nothing could ever mean as much to me… as you do. I've never looked forward to the day time before you came into my life, I had a real reason to search for power because I had something to protect… but then I realized that power doesn't have to mean ruling the world or controlling. Power can be how you effect people or someone, power is surrendering yourself. And here I am Rin I am yours even though it is only for a moment, because when this is all over it his bed you will share…"_

_"Please stop," Rin cried she couldn't bare to hear anymore or think of being with Halder, "I don't love him Sesshomaru I love you. I don't want to think about it please don't make me think about it."_

_Sesshomaru just watched her for a moment before pulling her to him so he could kiss her. His lips fell over her and showered her with affection as he pulled her kimono from her. Rin laid down as he took the rest of his clothing off and laid down on her, she smiled as her hand found his face and pushed away the fallen hair. He kissed her deepening it as the passion of the moment grew hotter and more intense. She felt him positioning himself as she kissed him waiting for the pain. To her surprise it didn't hurt quite as much, however it still hurt and so he was as gentle as he could be. It was different then there first time. It was not as quick Sesshomaru seemed to be holding himself back, trying to create a moment… a memory that she could hang onto when he was gone. That was when she realized he did not plan on coming back, she knew deep inside he planned on dying in this last duel. _

-End of flashback-

Rin sniffled trying to hold back the tears as she thought about her Sesshomaru. What was she going to without him? He couldn't die, he wouldn't die… would he? Why was he doing this to her? How could he put her in such a position? Was love not enough for him to stay? To live? Why… was he ever going to return. And for a moment she started to think about what would happen if he died, and then she knew she couldn't live without him. She did owe him her life, and her life she would give if he was not there to spend it with.

Rin stood up and walked out of the room feeling almost lifeless and emotionless. Rin walked up some stairs to where the prince's room was and opened the door and closed it behind her as tears poured down her face. Rin walked outside onto the balcony and looked down at the small houses way bellow before looking up into the dark night sky. She grabbed a hold of a large pole that held a large stone cover over the beautiful white balcony, and pulled herself up onto the balcony. Rin held the top of the stone cover as her bare feet felt the pressure of the balcony under them.

"Goodbye my love perhaps we will have to wait until the next life time," Rin said crying as she slowly loosened her fingers and leaned forward prepared to let go, "I can't wait for you… and I can't live without you. I'm sorry…"

Authors note: I know I know what a cliff hanger. So I don't know what is going to happen guys?! Is Rin going to let go or will something save her from the long fall ahead. I guess we will have to just see… what do you think? Let me know!


	22. Strangers in common

** Chapter 22: **Strangers in common… 

Authors note: I am so frustrated I hate people who make little community things placing peoples stories on it saying the worst of something. Someone put it under "The worst Inuyasha stories" UGH how rude! JERKS. Anywho it makes me REALLY appreciate those who have been reviewing which has been many. And if you have been following please leave a small comment so I know! It makes me feel so happy! Thank you very much! So far thank you:

Mistress Ayako

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If I didn't add you in then I am sorry I will get to it later!

Rin's heart pounded in her chest as she looked at the ground maybe twenty feet or more bellow her. She closed her eyes thinking of Sesshomaru and his every movement, his every word… and the thought of his death crossed her mind. This cold limp lifeless body so much paler then normal… his crimson crescent moon and markings all fading in color. No longer did he have the beautiful hue to him… instead it was a cold and silent beauty. Rin's sobs caught in her throat as she opened her eyes watching a couple tears fall down cutting through the cold and harsh frosted air.

"Rin," a voice caught her off guard making her look back to see who was there, "you don't have to end things like that. How do you think he will feel when you are gone? He has chosen to marry you, it would break him surely to know you killed yourself… or that you died at all. As much as I hate the idea of it I cannot let my love…"

"Sagoe?" Rin said looking to the beautiful girl standing there, "I do not love your lord."

"I know," Sagoe said looking to Rin, "but that does not mean you should end your life? I know your heart belongs to another… I saw it the day they left. You share the same pain as I."

"I am not strong enough for this," Rin said sniffling as she stood facing the earth but looking at Sagoe, "I cannot bare the idea of being without him. Even if my lord does come back I made a promise to marry, uh…"

"I know," Sagoe said looking down, "I no longer hold it against you. But the mighty Sesshomaru would have gone to battle for no reason. I watched the way he looked at you, he would be displeased if you were not there when he returned."

"I love him so much I have for so long," Rin cried letting go one hand and holding it to her mouth as she tried to hold the sobs inside.

"Naturally," Sagoe said taking a few steps forward, "but do you not want to honor that love by giving him a reason to live? We can get through this together."

"How?" Rin cried biting her lip as she looked at Sagoe, "I cannot live without him that long… who knows how long he will be gone. You should be the one to marry Halder, and if I am not here… then I cannot be in your way."

"All I want is for Halder to be happy Rin," Sagoe said looking to Rin seriously, "I know you love Sesshomaru… maybe Halder will understand. Rin do you know where your heart is? Do you think you can find it? Did you trade it for something, somewhere better just to hide it? It doesn't mean you have to end your life to end the pain. Do you know where your love is? Really? Do you think that you lost it? I know nothing has turned out like you wanted, bless my soul you're a lonely soul and that is why I cannot hate you for something not of your own making. But you won't let go Rin you and I both know it, and that is because you hold your love in your heart. Come with me Rin…"

"I can't," Rin cried looking back at the ground.

"Do you know what your fate is Rin? It's not this… are you trying to shake that? You can do it… you can find it. The strength is deep with in you, and that strength is love. I waited for Halder many many years for him to leave right after and be gone for many years again. Love will help you keep your sanity. Do you think you can find it? With everything your hiding behind right now Rin do you? Can you find it? All we need is the air we breathe, a place to lay our head, and love. Love Rin… help it give you strength. Except it. Just take my hand…" Sagoe said holding out her hand. Rin looked at Sagoe before taking her hand and falling onto the balcony floor with a thud. Rin looked at her bursting into tears as Sagoe pulled her into a hug, "it's alright. Everything is going to be alright now."

'Sesshomaru…' Rin thought crying as Sagoe stared out over the balcony as the girl she not so long ago hated cried on her shoulder. A tear fell down her cheek but she kept a stone emotionless face, "I can't live without him Sagoe."

"I know," Sagoe said still staring out as Rin gripped to her.

"I can't be without him," Rin said feeling tears hit her like water balloons.

"I know," Sagoe said feeling her own face slowly turning into one of pain and sadness.

"So what do I do?" Rin asked not letting go of her desperate death grip on poor Sagoe.

"I know. We go after them," Sagoe said not sure what to say at first.

"What? Really?" Rin asked pulling away to look at Sagoe's also pained face, "how?"

"We will travel after them… we will ride hard and swift. Tomorrow morning early, tonight we pack and get a few hours shut eye. Take only those we trust, "Sagoe said grabbing Rin's arms as she looked at her, "even though it is you my love will marry I would like to spend as much time with him as possible."

"Take him from me please," Rin laughed a cry making Sagoe smile.

"We will get our men back Rin. Even if we have to die honorably trying," Sagoe responded before releasing Rin's arms. Rin looked at Sagoe feeling a warm feeling she hadn't felt before from Sagoe, and she saw Sagoe had the same thing Rin felt for Sesshomaru rested in those beautiful golden eyes of hers. They were more alike then either had cared to really try and notice.

"Until the morning then," Rin said smiling at her newest friend. Sagoe smiled back nodding her head before walking off to her room which was not too much further then where her lord rested. Rin made her way to Jake's room and banged on the door.

"What in the hell are you making all this racket this late in the night child!" Jaken squeaked his little beak flapping fast at her.

"I am too leave in the morning and wish you would come with me Master Jaken," Rin said falling to her knees. How grown she had become, and how much of an amazing women she was showing to be. Jaken stared at Rin's broken face.

"And where do you suppose you are going?" Jaken asked looking at her like she was crazy.

"To go after Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said seriously when Jaken was about to go after her she spoke up before him, "I can't waste time so give me a moment. No matter what you say about love I keep coming back for love, no matter what you say about life I keep learning every time I leave that I have to let my spirit be free to make choices like this. I am going whether I have to leave you behind. I've loved our lord like every second was the last one, he is still apart of everything I do… he is on my heart like the marking of a scar on skin. It hurts to think that I could stop admit that I'm wrong then change my mind, in all honesty Jaken… I can't live without him. I can't…"

"He will kill me…" Jaken whispered softly to her afraid.

"If I live every moment trying to go on like this I will die, because the memory of him marks everything I do. He is apart of you and I," Rin said standing up, "I'm going…"

"Wait! Let me pack," Jaken sighed slamming the door and muttering about how she was such a stupid child for dragging him along. Rin smiled before going to Gracie's room which was shared with a few other servants.

"Rin?" Gracie asked rubbing her eyes while yawning. Rin just took her hands in hers.

"My dearest and truest friend," Rin said giving her a watery eyed smile, "I am leaving come sunrise. I am going after my lord and it would mean to world if you were to come with me."

"Rin," Gracie said looking at her young companion.

"Bring your lover if you so wish as well. I trust him, but only people I trust I am asking along on this journey. So what do you say my dearest Gracie?" Rin pleaded with her eyes and heart. Gracie looked at her and could see the pain in Rin's eyes, "I can't live as long as he is gone."

"I'll pack," Gracie said kissing Rin's hands, "anything for you my dear. Anything at all. I am now your servant… I will follow you until the ends of the earth."

"Thank you," Rin said smiling at Gracie her companion. Gracie nodded before letting go and closing the door leaving Rin to run back to her room to prepare for the morning to come. She was going to make sure her lord was going to live, even if it meant giving her life for his.

--

Rin was awake and read before the sun had even begun to rise. She grabbed her things and ran to the kitchen to take as much as she could pack. To her surprise her group was already there. Jaken was stocking up on all kinds of gross things as Gracie was taking practical food, the dance teacher Vin was getting a lot of foods that would last a long time. Sagoe and Soton were taking everything that looked good, they were going to travel comfortable… Rin chuckled making them all look to her.

"We wondered when you would be awake Rin," Jaken squawked eating some dried salamander. Rin laughed demons ate the weirdest things. Rin began to pack what room was left in her bag with food that she could stand and that would last awhile, who knew how long they would have to journey.

Once they were done they took off for the stables trying to battle through the darkness of the morning. Once they reached it they saddled their horses and threw their belongings plus horse feed on two horses. Their personal belongings traveled on their own horse.

"Oh Gracie stop fussing!" Sagoe snapped at the older woman who was complaining about the horse being uncomfortable and scary.

"Your horse is one of the best bred and trained military horses Gracie it will not let you down," Soton said riding beside his sister.

"If it makes you feel better until you are a better rider you can ride my horse," Rin offered making the gray stallion snort.

"How about not!" Gracie said tilting her head up so that she could be a little sass making Vin laugh along with Rin who just held onto the reins looking over at the sun slowly rising to meet the traveling group. Something felt so normal, so peaceful to her to be journey once again. That's when she realized that is what she most loved, ADVENTURE. She enjoyed the thrill it brought as she traveled with her companion, and started missing Ah-Un.

"It's alright darling," Vin said making Gracie shoot him a glare. Apparently she didn't want anyone to know of their obvious love affair, and Rin knew why. It was unacceptable for someone of his status to be with someone like her. As long as she worked at the castle, she would either be banished from that land or the least would she would lose her place in the castle… then no one would accept her to work in their business. Although Vin was not entirely familiar with their customs and rules, he respected the fact that Gracie needed to keep it hidden for herself. Rin hated it! They were such a beautiful, odd, but beautiful couple.

"Well does anyone have the slightest clue as to where we are actually heading?" Jaken snorted making Rin look to Sagoe who just shrugged.

"This was the direction they took," Rin said agreeing that she too held no knowledge.

"I know exactly where we are going," Soton smiled feeling rather useful, "I had a look at the maps while they planned out the route incase I needed to evacuate Ri… you guys."

"Right," Sagoe said feeling a little sad, "well the point is we are going to hurry along now. They have a good days ride ahead of us, we must ride faster then they are."

"Wait… how much faster?" Gracie asked nervously, "you don't mean…"

"No slower then a trot," Soton agreed with his sister. Rin nodded loving that idea.

"Oh no," Gracie and Jaken sighed.

"Would Master Jaken like to ride with Rin?" Rin asked as Jaken bounced around unhappily.

"I!" he squealed nearly falling off as Rin caught his arm lifting her onto her horse. Jaken slowly opened his eyes and let a sigh of relief wash over him, "stupid girl what have you gotten me into!"

"I am sorry master Jaken," Rin said sadly making him feel bad. Jaken just sighed before trying to make himself comfortable in-between the front of the saddle and Rin's slender body.

"Do not worry about it child this Jaken is just getting old and grouchier with every season," Jaken sighed as Rin gave her horse a squeeze as he went from a walk to a trot then a more comfortable canter to warm the horses up before they went to a full fledged gallop to catch up to the men who went no faster then a trot or maybe on safe open fields a canter. Their eyes had to be open for their plan to work, Rin's little group did not… their only concern was finding them. And they were off finally… on their way to find the group hopefully in one piece. But if only they knew, Sesshomaru was soon to part on his own separate journey which would make Halder stop what he was doing to help Rin. So then whose fault will it be for the disaster to come? Sesshomaru for leaving? Or Rin for leaving having Halder stop his plans which would so have worked? Or all of them? For Naraku knew what they were planning, but not what Sesshomaru was up to. Naraku had some plans of his own, and Rin was apart of them.

Authors note: Alright people here you go! So Rin doesn't kill herself! As for Sesshomaru you will just have to wait and see my dears! But please review and let me know what you think! Thank you to my readers! I hope you enjoyed this little twist with Sagoe and Rin! Did anyone see it coming? I didn't see it coming! It just kind of happened. So what do you think in general! Thank you!


	23. A story of a hero

**Chapter 23**: The story of a hero… 

Authors note: Alright my dearies! I am so just happy on what a wonderful group I've had review! You've all made this so just… MUAW! I love you guys! Thank you so much for your support! I know I am getting all mushy! Thank you too my new reviewers and ESPECIALLY to my persistent reviews who have been following and leaving me MULTIPLE reviews. I LOVE YOU GUYS. You keep my story alive!

Rin sat carving at some fish she had caught while Sagoe stirred the fire, Jaken snored not too far away as the girls sat up in the dark alone. Three days they had uneventfully traveled and began to worry. Rin couldn't stop thinking of Sesshomaru constantly, although Jaken smell the groups scent much more clearer now Rin still worried she would not catch up in time. She was dying to see her lord Sesshomaru. Sagoe looked over at Rin wondering what about the girl held the hearts of two powerful lords. Rin just sighed as she finished scaling the silvery fish. They had plenty of food, but it was all in the fact that they didn't want to just use their food up… they needed to perform all the normal traveling ethics as well tasks.

"How can you love him?" Sagoe asked making Rin look up through the fallen black silky strands of hair at the beautiful golden haired hanyou.

"What?" Rin asked holding the fish in one hand and the knife in another. Sagoe just smiled a laugh before finishing what it was she meant.

"Sesshomaru-sama," Sagoe said making Rin smile at his name.

"How can I not? Just his very name puts a satisfied smile to my face. You all my only see the roughness of my lord, but I see the soft side that he also possesses. He didn't have to bring me back to life, but he did anyways. He didn't have to let me follow along constantly getting in the way and causing him more stress then he needed, but he did anyways. He didn't have to love me back, but he did. Of all people to choose, and this includes the beautiful youkai demoness back at my home… he chose a little mortal human girl. It's the fact no one sees what goes on behind the door with us two. How about you Sagoe, I can see why you would like Halder but why do you love him? How can you love him?" Rin asked making Sagoe swallow understanding everything Rin was saying.

"Because the way he moves, and talks, all our conversations, how giving he really can be… he sounds to be much like your lord when it is just the two of us. So I can now understand your lord, as well understand him a little. And Halder saved me too when I was much younger that is how we became friends," Sagoe said going off back into the memory.

--Flash Back--

"Sagoe!" her mother called out followed by her father and brother. Her name rung throughout the town as the storm came in swiftly forcing them back into their home to cry. Sagoe was a little girl she would seem about nine or ten to the human eyes.

Sagoe squinted her eyes as she pushed past the dangerously rough wind pushing her in the opposite way of the town. She tried to grasp her little fingers onto a thick tree as she screamed out into the howling wind that carried her voice farther and farther away. Sagoe kept screaming hoping someone would locate her, and she could no longer hang onto the tree as all her little strength had been blown away in the attempt of hanging on and surviving. She hit the floor with a thud and the wind started pushing her down hill causing cuts and bruises too damage her skin.

"Father!" Halder yelled through the forest hanging onto his horse which was large enough to stand and walk in the wind. Halder stood by its side both being pushed down by the wind, "FATHER!!"

The wind was wild and crazy and both were soaking wet from the pouring rain. Halder caught a glimpse of a small body not large enough to be his fathers rolling helplessly and limply on the cold wet muddy ground. Halder squinted his eyes more holding a hand over his eyes so he could get a better look. Halder was about 12 to the human eyes as he pulled his horse in the direction of the girl.

"It's a little girl!" Halder yelled to his horse before patting it's soaking wet and walking forward with his horse. There laid a limp and muddy girl who seemed to be turning blue. He picked the girl up and placed her on the back of her horse before trying to get out of the storm as fast as possible. There was no way to go back to the castle due to the massive wind. It started hailing and thundering so he went to his secret hide out which was a little cave in the darkest part of the forest. It was covered by many trees so the wind was not AS bad there. He placed the girl down and pulled his bag off his back trying to light a fire. It took him awhile as almost every stick he found was wet.

"Shhh don't wake her," he whispered a yell to his large white horse who snorted and stomped his feet several times.

"Hmmm," she said as she began to mumble and sit up holding her head. Her whole body was shivering and her lips felt chapped.

"Before you start freaking out I am prince Halder and I have rescued you," he said hastily just lighting the fire so she could see her surroundings. She swallowed nervously before looking around.

"Where am I?" Sagoe asked holding her sore arm.

"In my secret hideout deep in the forest. I found you lying on the ground in a puddle of mud," Halder said scooting over as he fed the fire some more pieces of wood. Sagoe took off her soaking wet jacket and sat by the fire, "what is your name?"

"Sagoe," she said a little nervously as she combed at her sticky twig filled hair. She hated what the thought of how she looked at that moment was, especially in front of another… in front of a guy. Let alone the prince of her home.

"It is nice to meet you Sagoe," Halder said stabbing at the fire as the horse stood by the entrance and walking out.

"OH NO!" Sagoe squealed making Halder look to him.

"What is it?" Halder asked hastily making Sagoe look back at him.

"Your mount! He has taken off!" Sagoe said nervously.

"He is just going to go and find some food no worries milady," he said throwing something on the fire too cook. Apparently this boy was prepared for something.

"Why were you out here? Were you lost and trapped also?" Sagoe asked curiously. Halder just laughed.

"No way could any storm keep from getting home if I so choose. Nor would I ever get lost out here," Halder laughed making Sagoe go red.

"I am sorry some of us are just not as strong as YOU prince Halder!" Sagoe stood up making him look up at her in surprise.

"I am sorry I meant no disrespect," Halder said looking to her seriously, "I've had training out here since I could walk. Plus I am older then you."

"How do you know this?" Sagoe asked placing hands on her hip.

"Your brother has told me how old you are. Your brother is Soton is he not? We have had training together for quite awhile," Halder said smiling at her as she sighed and sat back down.

"That is indeed my brother," Sagoe said rather enjoying the fire.

"Dinner is served," Halder said handing her half of his fish. Sagoe never liked fish much but she was indeed hungry.

"Thank you," Sagoe said eating it rather hungrily. Halder just smiled as he watched the girl who slowly fell asleep next to him. Halder did not sleep that night feeling it was his duty to protect her. However when the sun started rising he started to drift asleep. Sagoe laughed to herself as she got up and walked out happy to see the sun shining down at her. Not far off was a large pond and without hesitation she waded in cleaning all her clothing off and clearing out her hair. She then laid out on one of the rocks to dry under the beautiful sun. Halder had awaken worrying where the girl had gone and ran out yelling her name.

"Sagoe! SAGOE!" Halder yelled making her sit up and call back to him.

"OVER HERE!" she yelled making him follow in the direction he heard her voice.

"There you are," he sighed in relief as the girl stood up finally pretty much dry. All the caked on dirt from the night before was gone, and her hair was clean and twig free leaving it a beautiful silky gold color. He was in awe at her beauty.

"Good morning my lord," Sagoe smiled happily feeling much better then the night before.

"Your hurt," he said finally noticing the many wounds and bruises on her arms and face.

"Oh," Sagoe said touching her cheek and feeling it sting, "it could have been worst. If you hadn't save me my lord I surely would not have made it to see this most glorious sun. Thank you."

"Your welcome," Halder said smiling at her before they walked back to the cave where the large white horse stood waiting. Halder climbed on before helping the girl up behind him. Back to the kingdom they headed through the drying earth that had taken quite a beating. Many trees had fallen from the deep storm. They entered the large gates and into the town as everyone cheered for their safe return. The king had already made it back to the castle with his men right before the prince had left to find him.

"SAGOE!" her mother ran out crying as her father pulled her from the prince's mighty horse. Soton walked out and nodded respectfully to the prince as her parents thanked him and bowed repeatedly swearing their lives to him for her safe return.

"Really you need not do that," Halder said smiling at them for the first time having the town actually happy with something he had done, "it was my pleasure. You have a special daughter."

"Thank you again prince Halder," Sagoe said smiling up at him as he smiled down at her, "goodbye."

"I will see you again soon," he said smiling at her, "tomorrow we should go for a ride…"

"Alright that sounds nice if it is alright with you momma and papa?" Sagoe asked turning to her parents as they nodded their approval.

-Flashback ends-

"We spent nearly every day after that either riding over our country and hiding away in the cave. He even kissed me once twenty years after that. But I was young and naive and scared. As well it was the kiss I always dreamed of, but from a man of no power… someone who could spend everyday with me. Then I made a new guy friend who was exactly like my father and I spent all my time with him for a short period of time, but he was killed. I went into grieving and shortly after that Halder started going on his adventures. Perhaps I became a bad friend and scared him away," Sagoe said looking at the ground as he talked about Halder, "if only he had ever known he was my only and one true love."

"Wow," Rin said looking at her newest friend, "that was a beautiful story."

"Yeah I like to think so," Sagoe said kicking at some dirt, "after he left I knew things would never be the same. So I took up learning to fight with my brother, and then I couldn't save my parents when we went on a short trip. It pains me a lot that I spent so much time learning to fight and I couldn't even save my parents life, and yet they let me keep my life. I wonder a lot and ask myself why, my brother couldn't move because he was employed in the military and I had no way of getting a job. We had so many new people moving in because of Halder's journeys and brining back different kind of people making our beautiful home more diverse. So I decided to move away and was saying my goodbyes as Halder had just came back from an adventure. I finally got him to pay some attention to me, he had no idea I was leaving… some times I believe he was punishing me for Takio. But when he found out about my parents from Soton, he came to me. I then said my goodbye and he wouldn't let me leave. He offered me a place in the castle… a job. I took it for my brother after three days of persistence from him. I couldn't leave my brother, he is all I have left. After that Halder and I were best friends again, that is, while he was there and not traveling."

"Wow you guys were meant for each other," Rin said smiling at Sagoe, "I will help you win him back."

"Thank you," Sagoe said smiling at her newest friend. Sagoe and Rin stared at each other for a moment getting to know each other, they had both found the friend they needed in an unlikely friends.

"Well we should go to sleep soon the day will be long and sore," Rin said nodding off and looking at the ground thinking of her lord. They were so close, so very close… and Sesshomaru was about to travel off on his own. Rin needed to hurry before it would be too late.

Rin lay down thinking about the love of her life wondering what he was doing at that very moment not realizing he was wondering and thinking the same thing as he sat away from the group holding a little bag pulling out the contents dangling them in his large hands. He lifted them too his nose taking in her lingering scent. The woman he loved, the woman plaguing his dreams… the woman keeping him alive.

"I love you Rin," he whispered into the air closing his eyes and trying to picture her standing in the field of flowers nearing the castle she claimed to love. And then a bad feeling came fluttering through ruining her image making the rest of his night uneasy…

what was to come?

Authors note: I know this was really short compared to how long it took me to write it, I have been just so drained from work that my brain goes capoot and then I have nothing to write. So I figured I would ramble until something came out and here we go, I hope it was some what enjoyable hearing a little of someone else's history. And don't worry they are maybe a day or so away from the group, hmmm wonder why Sesshomaru can't smell them… hee hee. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!


	24. A bit of trouble

**Chapter 24: **A bit of trouble… 

Authors note: Thank you for your reviews and yes it was rather shorter so I will work on making this one longer just for you guys!

Rin woke up to the smell of sulfur, it was a very distinct and smelly smell that made even her human nose wrinkle. It made Vin who was a full youkai choke and pass out, Soton and Sagoe were having a hard time keeping their breath. Even though if you looked at them Soton would look human and Sagoe youkai they were both lower hanyou's more human blood then youkai. Gracie put a hand over her mouth as she started shaking Vin, Rin ran to his side and new that something terrible was about to happen.

'Sesshomaru,' she worried wondering if they too were being poisoned with it. Rin pulled out her bow and arrows from her horses pack who clearly was frustrated by the smell as he stomped his hooves at the earth. The other horses were clearly in distress as they tried to run away, something big was coming.

"Sagoe!" Soton yelled holding his sister up as she slowly began to drift in and out.

"Leave me get out of here," Sagoe coughed feeling her body go limp, "before you feel it's effects."

"Something is suffocating me," Soton said feeling going body going slowly limp, "Rin run…"

"HELP! HELP!!" Rin screamed frantically as everyone around her began to go limp. Gracie collided into Rin pointing a scared and shaky finger as something began to make the bushes around them rustle, "what is it?"

"I… don't know," Gracie said as Soton fought whatever it was effecting him. He however unlike his sister or Vin was able to fight it sense he held more of his fathers human blood then his mother youkai blood.

"Fooooooooodddddd," it hissed viciously making Gracie jump and Rin get the shivers, "ssssstay ssssstill humansssss."

"Um right," Rin said shooting some arrows making it squeal frantically before she cowered over her friends protectively.

"I've come for you human," the snake like youkai broke from it's hiding spot revealing it's hideous form. Rin's eyes widened and Gracie moaned in fear.

"For me?" Rin asked curiously, "why?"

"It'ssss what my lord wantssssss," the snake said as it slithered towards her.

"Hold still Snelth," a dark youkai walked out transforming into it's human form making Rin and Gracie aw at it's beauty. Long dark hair flowed with deep green eyes that glowed almost hypnotizing to the human girls. Rin couldn't help but look over the broad bare chest man who almost glowed beautifully. He was almost the opposite of her lord, instead of amber eyes his were green, instead of long white silvery hair his was pitch raven black, instead of a cold calloused face, his was eerily warm inviting and held a charming smile, "Rin…"

"How do you know my name?" Rin asked as Gracie grabbed her arm, "lord Sesshomaru will have heard my screams and smelled me by now. Leave us be and I shall ask for your mercy."

"I do not fear your lord," the man said looking her directly in the eyes smiling mischievously at her, "he will not hear you, nor can he smell you in any way. The only thing he will smell if he comes near is Snelth's deadly breath… which is too much to handle for youkai type."

"Please do not hurt my friends," Rin pleaded frantically making him laugh.

"I have no intentions of such."

"Then why are you here?" Rin asked frightened, "what do you want?"

"You," he said simply making her bite her lip before looking back at the fallen on the ground, "and if you do not comply with my request my companion here will eat your sleeping friends."

"Oh," Rin said looking back at her friends nervously before taking a step forward.

"No," Gracie said grabbing Rin's arm. Rin looked to Gracie with eyes full of fear, but even fuller of hope.

"Sesshomaru will come for me, first you must find him," Rin whispered softly enough only they could hear, "I will be fine. Promise you will not harm them any of them in ANY way."

"You have our word," he said making his snake friend sigh in aggravation of losing his wonderful lunch.

"Very well then you have mine," Rin said turning to stare at Gracie as Gracie nodded and released her friends arm. Gracie let some tears fall as she thought of all the possible things that could happen to Rin.

"NO!!" A voice yelled releasing some arrows at the men making them squeal as they turned into flames and Rin's gray stallion took charge making the snake hiss and retreat as the youkai grabbed Rin's arm. Soton released more shots into the creature making him yell before familiar black wings grew from his back and he took flight her still in his hand. But Rin scratched at it making him smack her before she bit his wrist and another arrow planted into his shoulder making him drop her.

Rin screamed loudly as she came crashing down towards the forest hitting the top of the tree and the branches painfully slowed her down until she met the ground with a painful and loud thud. Gracie and Soton gasped before running to her side as she laid there moaning in pain unable to move, she knew she was hurt pretty badly.

"Don't touch me," Rin said wincing painfully as Gracie fell to her side. Rin softly cried, "Sesshomaru…"

"We have to hurry and get her to the group," Soton said as he gently lifted her up noticing her arm was broken, "oh poor Rin…"

"It hurts," she cried wrapping her hurt but not broken other arm around his neck. The others began to awaken as the stench was further and further away and no long noticeable.

"It's alright," Soton said carrying her feeling her strength coming back, "Vin and Sagoe ride forth and warn Halder and Sesshomaru of our coming."

"Alright," Sagoe said looking at Rin wondering what had happened when they passed out. Together Vin and Sagoe took their horses and took off with great speed to warn the group they were on their way. Gracie held the rest of the horses so that the other two could get their with speed not having to worry about fighting horses or anything else. It was faster just them two. Together Soton carried Rin quickly with Gracie not far behind.

--

"Sir someone approaches with great speed," a man said seeing two horses riding up the dirt road hastily. Halder turned to get a better look noticing also.

"Are they friend or foe?" Halder asked preparing his sword.

"Well news has also reached us that there was a battle deep in the woods. Of whom we know not… but rumors are it is some of our own."

"Hmmm very well," Halder said as he stood waiting for their company to reach them. Halder's mouth dropped when they were in view, golden hair, sharp eyes… that porcelain face, "Sagoe?"

"My lord!" one of the men yelled as the two reached them and slowed down, "it is Sagoe and Vin."

"Sagoe," Halder ran out dressed in his armor taking her into his arms making everyone watch not sure what to think. They had known them too be great friends for so many of hundreds of years… but they also knew that now he was engaged to Rin.

"My lord," she said also in shock as he pulled away and looked her in the eyes.

"Ever is your sight a joy, but why have you come?" Halder asked his smile turning into a fade and for a moment her mind wondered off as she stared into the face of the one she loved.

"My lord," Vin said breathing heavily still on top of his horse, "it is Rin…"

"Rin?" He asked slowly peeling his gaze from Sagoe to Vin. Sagoe looked down shaking her head to get her thoughts out. She backed up before looking back up.

"She is hurt I was sent to stop you to warn you of their soon arrival," Sagoe said looking at anything but him.

"Where is she? How hurt is she?" Halder asked worried about the small girl's injuries, and the story behind why they were following them.

"They are on their way now Soton is carrying her," Vin said as Halder looked at two men who were ready to receive their orders.

"Take a wagon and pick them up," Halder said pointing to one of the spare wagons that had most of the contents used, "and hurry!"

"Lord Halder," Sagoe said not sure what to say, "she should be fine with a little proper care."

"Then why did you not take care of her Sagoe?" Halder asked her without looking her in the eyes, "why bring her to me?"

"Because I did not have the proper utensils," Sagoe said with watery eyes. Never had she felt he didn't care for her like she did at that moment, "I'm sorry."

"The castle has every known plant known to man why do you think I traveled the world? I wanted us to be knowledgeable of everything to have everything to be above everything," Halder said angrily, "and you tell me you could not take care of something simple?"

"We were already on our way here," Sagoe said turning so she couldn't face him.

"Are you sure it wasn't your hatred for her that drove you to let her go on such a risky journey?" Halder snapped turning to face her only to be met with the same anger.

"NO! Her and I befriended each other before we came on this equally dangerous mission! Now I regret it! I regret wanting to see you so badly I…!" she turned and ran off deep into the camp unaware of where she was going until she ran across one of her fathers old friends. He showed her to his tent and let her rest in there.

"MAKE WAY!" A man yelled several hours later as the wagon came barreling through. Several of the healers brought along ran to their side moving the girl into the medical tent. Sagoe was in there when she heard the news of their return to help as much as she could. Rin was fine after she was given a sedative that made her feel little pain as they began expecting her. She had broken her arm in two places a rib and tore a muscle.

"Sess…homaru," Rin moaned as they began placing everything in it's appropriate spot. Lucky for her Sagoe was most skilled at setting bones. Rin woke up and looked around everyone was gone. Rin tried to sit up but felt a terrible sharp pain in her ribs. She grabbed at it and laid back down before closing her eyes wondering whether Sesshomaru had heard and was angry. Sagoe walked into the tent to see the girl laying in agony.

"Here take this," Sagoe said handing her something that smelt terrible, "it will help with the pain. It's a recipe my mother taught me, do not insult my mother…"

"Alright," Rin said shoving it in her mouth as she looked at the laughing Sagoe. It tasted different, and had a decent after taste.

"I was only kidding about insulting my mother," Sagoe smiled, "but it made you take it didn't it?"

"That was very rude, clever, but rude and tricky," Rin said feeling her muscles relax a little causing the pain to slowly go away, "is lord Sesshomaru mad?"

"We need to talk," Sagoe said taking Rin's hand in hers. Rin looked at her in confusion.

"What are you talking about Sagoe?" Rin asked frantically, "is he that mad?"

"No… he doesn't even know," Sagoe said giving her a sorry felt look. Rin just looked at her in confusion.

"Why not?" asked Rin not quite sure what to think of what she was hearing. What indeed was Sagoe trying to tell her? And why did she sound so worried?

"They cannot find him," Sagoe said as Rin slowly sat up unsure how to take it all in, "they have searched the whole perimeter… some believe he has taken off on his own."

"Why are they not searching for him!" Rin yelled bursting into tears.

"Because he is far too gone, Halder has found it useful. He believes that if Sesshomaru attacks or causes attention which he knows he will… they will not be aware of Halder's attack," Sagoe said softly, "I'm sorry Rin…"

"I knew he was going to do this," Rin cried softly, "I knew he was only using Halder for his own gain… I knew it the night that, that… I knew he planned to die."

"Do not think such perhaps he will save the day," Sagoe said trying to fake a smile. But they all knew that if Sesshomaru could not defeat Naraku before… what made this time different. If only they knew that… this time was different VERY different, whether it was good or bad was up to them. The fate of the world rested in their hands, and all was going to be decided within a matter of days.

Rin sat up making Sagoe look to her as she stepped out of the bed holding to her side. But nothing Sagoe was saying or pleading could get Rin to stop, Rin was going to find him no matter what it took. She slowly made her way to the prince's tent as he sat with his men preparing their next route of attack with Sesshomaru gone.

"Rin?" he said as she pushed the curtain to the tent open making all the men look to her. Sagoe walked in frantically behind her, "Sagoe?"

"I tried to stop her milord," Sagoe said worriedly as she grabbed Rin's arm. Rin pulled it from her.

"It is alright Sagoe let Rin speak," Halder said making Rin look to Sagoe who looked to the ground.

"She has every right as me to speak," Rin said feeling bad for Sagoe who shot her a glare.

"I never said she didn't, I was merely allowing you to say something before she takes you back to your bed," Halder said looking up from his document and then staring at Sagoe, "she has had permission to speak openly to whomever she wishes for a long time now."

"Thank you my lord," Sagoe said nervously before looking to Rin who only smiled. Halder then snapped out of it and looked to Rin.

"And?" Halder asked looking to Rin. She just bit her lip trying to regain the courage she had just lost.

"Lord Sesshomaru," was all Rin could say before tears came to her eyes, "we have to find him. Please can we go after him…"

"NO!" Sagoe yelled not wanting Halder to get involved that close to danger, "it is to dangerous for you to get involved in my lord."

"Sagoe is right Rin it would be perilous to leave our post so soon," Halder said looking from Sagoe to Rin. One part wanted to help Rin and the other wanted to make Sagoe happy.

"Please my lord I am going after him with or without you," Rin said ignoring Sagoe's protest and turning to leave.

"Wait Rin!" he yelled standing up looking past Sagoe for a moment, "I will help you."

"No!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "this is ridiculous he is gone!"

"Sagoe!" Rin cried out making the girl turn to her with water red eyes.

"You lose your love so you take mine too," Sagoe said softly so only the two could here before she turned to leave a broken hearted Rin. Halder watched the two wondering what words had been exchanged.

"We will prepare to leave now and only take a few men," Halder said looking to Rin, "I will do anything for you Rin you should know this now…"

"Thank you," Rin cried turning to leave unable to hear anymore words that belonged to Sagoe. Rin couldn't drag anyone else into this, she had made the mental note to go on her own as she grabbed her beautiful gray stallion and quickly mounted.

"Were you really thinking of leaving on your own?" A familiar voice caught her attention.

"Soton," Rin said happily unaware that Halder too was right behind her. Sagoe followed even though she was angry with Rin for involving Halder, "Sagoe…"

"Don't say anything," she interrupted as she stopped her horse. Gracie and Vin followed behind not too shortly with one of the packed horses, "are we ready?"

"Yes," they all agreed as they together began traveling off into the forest as Halder and Soton followed Sesshomaru's scent which was already starting to fade away. Rin was in the middle, her and Sagoe were not talking… it was almost as if they had never made friends at all.

"Sagoe," Rin said after several hours of awkward silence riding. Sagoe ignored Rin as Rin yelled her whisper a little louder.

"What do you want Rin?" Sagoe asked not looking to her old friend. Rin just let out a soft sigh knowing she would be angry if she were in Sagoe's shoes.

"I tried to leave before you guys found me," Rin said softly making Sagoe just sigh before getting angry again.

"Perhaps you should have tried harder," Sagoe said before getting her horse to go faster. Rin just let out another sigh as Soton rode up next to Rin through the long golden grass that reached their knees.

"She is just upset that Halder still isn't wavering about you. Don't take it personal, I think she just wants him to listen to her like he used to," Soton said rubbing her arm as he rode beside her. Rin just nodded uncomfortably as she watched the golden hair of Sagoe bounce as she rode behind Halder.

"Sagoe?" Halder asked smelling her presence.

"Yes milord," Sagoe asked still riding behind him as she usually did in public.

"We are not in public you can ride beside me or do you not see me as you used to," he said softly as she nodded and rode up closer to him, "is it just me or have I been blind all along?"

"You are not blind you have always seen clearly my lord," Sagoe said respectfully. Halder laughed before looking over to her his charming smile made her blush, his smile got wider when she blushed and turned from his deep gaze.

"Then I do not share Rin's heart with another?" he said trying to pull his mind from wondering to dangerous territory.

"Oh," Sagoe said hoping he was talking about something else, "well I do not know…"

"You cannot lie to me after all this time can you?" Halder said sensing the falseness in her voice, "you have befriended her… you must know something."

"I cannot tell you as much as I wish too," Sagoe said looking away from him, "perhaps some other time…"

"Hmmm," Halder said letting out a sigh, "Sagoe…"

"But I do understand her and I have a theory for you. Her and I share the same love for our lords," Sagoe said looking down and away from him as he stared at her. Rin watched from the back smiling inwardly as Soton frowned physically.

"Do not frown Soton it does your face no justice," Rin smiled over at Soton, "things are happening as they should."

"Yes milady," Soton said bowing his head respectfully, "I am just so worried about my sisters heart being hurt once more. Grief is something that plagues her often, she is a great woman… I hate to see her hurt anymore especially from the same cause."

"I know and that is because you're a loving brother Soton she is lucky to have you. This is a journey that has many folly's, and it is called life. We all learn to handle ours differently, I think that she knows very well how to handle hers," Rin said touching his arm, "do not worry for your sister, but do not stop worrying for her."

"Um right," Soton asked looking to her confusedly, "I'm sure that makes sense to you so I will go by it."

"It will come to you in your own time Soton," Rin said smiling over at him, "and thank you for coming along and everything you have done for me."

"My pleasure milady," Soton said smiling at her. Rin took his hand and squeezed it before releasing it.

--

"Hmmm they get close," the man with black wings said as he watched from his far away position.

"Do not strike yet," a man said into his head.

"Why not it would be so easy," the black winged man said hiding up in his tree.

"I want to break them before you take her," the man said once more making the black winged man sigh.

"They are stronger then they seem. They have the prince with him. Take the girl, kill the prince, and do what you please with the others," the voice repeated in his mind, "but not yet… wait until I give command. Wait until they are in the canyon near the castle… it will allow you an easier escape should something happen."

"Yes lord Naraku as you wish," he said before leaping off the branch into the sky watching them from above and leaving time short and broken, and things to come were about to be bigger then they imagined.

Authors note: I hope you all enjoyed it! It was two pagers longer then it has been recently lol instead of five it is seven! WOOP WOOP I know that still isn't much but it's getting a little more into the final battles I truly hope you enjoy it! Sorry I know it has been a little slowly lately, hopefully not this chapter... but I am working on improving each chapter. Thanks again guys!!

-Love4horses


	25. Kagome's inspiring tale

**Chapter 25:** Kagome's inspiring tale… 

Authors note: Sorry it took me so long, perhaps it was the low amount of comments ( but that is alright I am back and so is another chapter. Well at least I am now working on it, but once it is up it will be. Right… erm confused yet? I think I confused myself. ) Oh well here it goes…

Rin sat looking up at the stars, they had been traveling for nearly three days and still no sign of Sesshomaru. This was distressing Rin greatly. She needed to know he was fine, she needed a sign… and she was just about to get it.

"HEY! RIN!" A girls voice screamed excitedly making Rin jump and the others stir uncomfortably.

"Who in the name…" Gracie muttered as both Halder and Soton jumped up extensively ready to fight.

"No harm," a little fox demon squeaked hiding behind one of his dark haired female companions.

"It's alright Soton Halder," Rin said standing up running out to meet Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Rin you've grown so much!" Kagome said as she hugged the once small girl.

"Thank you! You still look the same Kagome," Rin smiled, "still as pretty as ever!"

"Thank you," Kagome blushed knowing Rin had always had a little admiration for her, since she was so different. Inuyasha hid back a smile, damn right his woman was still pretty, forget pretty she was beautiful. Kagome glanced back at Inuyasha and rolled her eyes at his little smirk, "where are you heading?"

"We are looking for Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said biting her nails, "he took off and now we can't find him."

"KEH Really? We just saw him maybe a day ago," Inuyasha said looking at the group wondering why she was traveling with humans and hanyou's.

"You did!" Rin yelled more then asked making Inuyasha jump at how loud her voice could go. She really had grown, and the more he looked at her… she kind of reminded him of Kagome. Rin too was beautiful, he could see why every time Sesshomaru talked about her a spark would light in his eye the way Inuyasha did when he talked of Kagome.

"We did," Sango said as she let go of Miroku's hand, "he told us to go protect you. Yet he never told us you would be traveling or why."

"That is because he doesn't know," Rin said blushing making Inuyasha laugh thinking how alike Rin and Kagome really were.

"There is nothing funny about that Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled pointing a finger at him her other hand resting on her hip.

"Sure there is it sounds a little familiar KAGOME," Inuyasha said smirking at her. She hated when he did that, but found it so hot at the same time. She just turned trying to push thoughts away but grinning inwardly.

"Anyways INUYASHA where do you think your going Rin?" Kagome asked the scared girl.

"Was he alright? How did he look? Was he hurt?" Rin asked barely taking a second to breathe or annunciate the words.

"Slow down Rin," Miroku chuckled before nodding as he thought back on it, "well to start off he was very worried about you. That's all he talked about, he didn't tell us anything other then that."

"You could tell he was in LOVE," Shippo chanted making Rin's eyes widen before giving them a look.

"Is that…" Sango whispered glancing over at Halder. Rin gave a small nod that made them go "OH".

"Anyways," Kagome said giving them a look, "he was very worried about you. You could tell he cares very much for your safety, he said not to let you leave the castle…"

"You mean not to leave her room was what he said," Shippo laughed making Kagome glare at him, "well he did!"

"Shippo shush!" Kagome snapped pulling him off of her back. Shippo was a little taller since Rin had last seen him, but he still looked the same. Almost all of them did, it had only been about ten years.

"Yes Kagome," the little fox demon whimpered trying to escape her wrath. Kagome was a month or two months pregnant so had a shorter temper well had more of a temper.

"Anyways Rin why are you not back at the safety of the castle," Kagome said looking at Rin seriously, "Sesshomaru would be most displeased."

"I do not care if it would displease my lord or so, I need to see, I mean need to KNOW he is alright. He has no heir who would take over his place?" Rin tried to think of a quick excuse.

"Keh duh ME," Inuyasha said crossing his arms like usual. Rin just gave a weak smile before looking back to her companions.

"Um… please set up camp with us we can talk more in the morning," Rin said afraid of the things that could have possibly been said.

"Right," Kagome said before unpacking her traveling gear and laying out her bed. Inuyasha found a spot close to her so he could keep an eye on her.

--

Kagome had laid there for several hours unable to sleep, and when she glanced over she saw neither could Rin. Kaome sighed before noticing the young girl sitting up and hugging her knees. _Is she crying?_ Kagome thought as Rin placed her head on her knees so that any tears that were shed would soak into her kimono.

"Rin are you alright?" Kagome asked sitting up making Rin jump. Rin just looked to her with watery, but not teary eyes.

"You startled me Kagome, I did not know you were awake," Rin said biting her lip feeling her lip quiver.

"Nor did I know you were awake either Rin. What troubles you? I can tell when someone is suffering from a broken heart," Kagome said making Rin nod before swallow nervously.

"I cannot talk of it out loud at least not here," Rin said looking to Kagome who nodded in understanding.

"Then let us take a walk. It is cold you should bring your blanket," Kagome said already practicing her motherly instincts and duties.

"Yes Kagome," Rin said before grabbing her blanket and placing it around her shoulders like Kagome did, "Kagome is it true?"

"Is what true?" Kagome asked after ten minutes of walking away from camp. Rin thought about it a moment before deciding to just come out and ask.

"Are you really pregnant?" Rin asked making Kagome blush before nodding, "well how do you feel about carrying a demons baby inside of you?"

"Well I have never carried a humans child inside of me so I wouldn't know the difference," Kagome joked smiling her charming smile.

"I mean Inuyasha is a hanyou Kagome even they rarely want to take on a human woman to give him children and be his mate. How did you get Inuyasha to want such things?" Rin said sadly as images of Sesshomaru crossed through her mind.

"Rin it has nothing to do with the fact of getting him to do it, they have to want to. Things just… happen," Kagome said biting her lip, "it wasn't easy for him. I nearly left and went home but…"

"Tell me the story," Rin said sitting down on a log under the clear starry sky.

"Well its not simple, it really involved all of us. We all took off of each others relationships, Miroku and Sango, and Inuyasha and I. If it hadn't been for those two getting together they way they did I wouldn't have realized what I realized, and never gave him the ultimatum," Kagome said sitting down beside Rin. It took her a moment to find the place in her tale where she wanted to begin. Finally finding it she began…

--Flash Back--

"Sango are you alright?" Kagome asked a crying Sango. All she could do was look at Kagome and shake her head no, "what's wrong?"

"After… all… this," and she broke out into fresh tears, "I can't take it anymore! I can't! You must go on without me!"

"Sango please!" A frightened Kagome stated hugging Sango who pulled away, "where are you going!"

"Take Kirara and go when your journey is done send her back to me," Sango said running off still in her exterminators out fit.

"SANGO!" Kagome yelled as Kirara sat by her feet looking confused giving a soft meow, "where will she go?"

_"Meow…" _ Kirara responded sniffling at her companion running away before transforming into her full demon self letting Kagome on.

"Take me back to the village Kirara," Kagome said as the demon took off into the air.

Once they reached the village Kirara found a safe place to land letting Kagome off. Naraku had been severely injured and went off into deep hiding, not to be seen for a year. Kagome was now nineteen and going on twenty, they had all be through a lot and found many shards. But there was still a lot remaining.

"Miroku!" Kagome yelled storming into the room making the man jump. He let out a sigh of relief realizing it wasn't Sango coming back to punish him.

"Oh, Kagome, it's just you," he said sitting back into the chair as a girl batted her eye lashes at him making him feel guilty for what he had been caught doing, well almost doing…

"Don't _Oh Kagome _me you jerk what did you say!" Kagome yelled pointing a finger on you.

"Keh! It's more like what he did!" Inuyasha said sitting in the corner with his arms crossed.

"More like got caught ALMOST doing," Shippo laughed jumping onto Inuyasha's shoulder before Inuyasha knocked him away.

"Wait… what?" Kagome said fearing the worst as Miroku put his head down in shame, "you didn't…"

"I didn't!" Miroku yelled angrily.

"Almost did," Inuyasha laughed, "because you got caught."

"Not funny!" Kagome yelled glaring at Miroku, "SIT."

"Wait…!" Inuyasha yelled flinging to the ground making him yell at her once he was able to get up, "What did I do!"

"It's what you better not do!" Kagome yelled getting frustrated with men. Inuyasha looked at her confused. What was she talking about? "It' doesn't matter. Miroku… tell me exactly what happened."

"WHY! Why do YOU or ANY of you need to know my business! It doesn't matter!" Miroku yelled getting frustrated with everyone in his business all the time, "I wasn't going to do it! I had second thoughts!"

"She still caught you kissing that girl in the room though," Shippo said making Miroku slump his shoulders over as he thought of that very moment. He had been kissing that beautiful, young, BEAUTIFUL girl… when he started having second thoughts. When he told her no she wouldn't except it and ripped open his shirt kissing him as Sango walked in. He tried to go after her, but by the time he pried the girl off of him he was too late she was gone.

"It doesn't matter I will talk to Sango, why does it matter we aren't even in a full relationship yet!" Miroku said more to himself then the others, "why should I care!?"

"You are so disgusting Miroku! To call yourself a monk!" Kagome yelled furiously. Miroku just looked at her.

"I love woman! I'm sorry!" he said frustrated, "she has been around me for awhile to know I have an appreciation for woman. I can't help it! It's just me! She will forgive me, if she loves me she will understand this."

"If you love someone you want to be with them and them only!" Kagome yelled furious with Miroku.

"Right," Inuyasha laughed making Kagome's eye twitch for a moment.

"INUYASHA!!" Kagome yelled making the house rumble and everyone cower down. Shippo knew what was coming next and ran as far from Inuyasha as possible before Kagome's voice rang through every house and hut around there, "SITTTTTTT!!"

"KA! GO! ME!!" he yelled as he was flung into the ground repeatedly before she slowly stormed from the door.

"Miroku," Kagome said breathing heavily as she stood at the door, "she's gone."

"What?" he asked looking to Kagome who slowly turned her head to look at him.

"She gave us Kirara and said she was leaving. She is gone she is never coming back, she said she cannot journey with us. YOU broke her heart, whether you are together or not. It's a matter of respect for ones feelings. How could you?" Kagome said starting to walk out before turning slowly once more, "how would you react or feel if you saw Sango alone with a man kissing her shirt just partially off in a room?"

'_I'd kill him_,' Miroku thought softly before looking to the ground as Kagome walked out, '_And I would no longer be able to stand… I am such a fool._'

Miroku walked down the grassy area of the village thinking of the moments Sango and him shared. For the first time he began to realize how much of a pathetic pervert he was. As he got older the more perverted he had become, if only he had thought that perhaps… it wasn't about catching as many beautiful woman to bare him children as it was to find him that one woman to bare him children then he would never have held off on being with Sango so long. Perhaps he had assumed she would wait for him to be ready, and in doing so he took advantage of how long.

'_Idiot, fool… I knew some where deep inside she was the one I could spend my life with. But instead I wanted to chase my dreams and lust for other woman, and all I did was get no where… never ended up with any of them instead I waited so long I lost the one who has put up with me. How could she? Would I have put up with it? No… I guess not, she is too good and pure that I never thought of what it would be like to deal with that. Only of my own selfish needs and fears. She has never tried to intentionally hurt me, it is not her fault men are drawn to her beauty as well her personality. I of course was jealous… and in so took that too deeply and let it fuel my fears. I'm sorry Sango, I'm so sorry…' _Miroku thought as he paced left and right. Kirara slowly walked out making Miroku look to him. For a moment they locked eyes and he had one more chance, _'Either I can live a single life and let Sango go off alone hopefully finding a place to take comfort and refugee from the damage I have done. I could go on pursuing freely woman of beauty and such… and live without her wondering day to day whether I have made a terrible mistake. OR… I could go after Sango and try to win whatever remains of her heart back. I could give up my life of woman chasing and seek solitude in love with the woman who has stood by me through these past few years. I could make a life for her and I, seek company from her the most amazing girl in the world. So strong, brave, caring, giving, devoted, faithful, loyal, loving…_"

'Meow,' Kirara said before Miroku nodded and she transformed taking flight with him on her back. Together they scoured the forests until FINALLY hours later Kirara was able to sniff out Sango's scent through all of her tears. With a dive of excitement the demon dove down through the trees until she hurt the earth shaking it slightly.

"SANGO!" Miroku yelled making Sango stop and back up slowly before turning to run. He ran after her speeding up not wanting to lose her before jumping on her to stop her.

"Get off of me!" she yelled hitting him through the darkness as she tried pushing him off. Finally she stopped and just held her hands on her eyes to hide the tears as Miroku looked down at her.

"Sango stop fighting me," Miroku said trying to not squish her as much but not moving from his position.

"Get away from me! Please, please go… just let me go. I cant," Sango hid her face as Miroku felt a flood of emotions he didn't want to make her cry the only other time that he had made her cry like that was half of year earlier when he had been drinking and temporarily possessed and tried to strangle her. But quickly he was able to snap from it and apologized and pleaded with her. He told himself he didn't ever want to see her cry like that again.

"I can't, I can't let you go Sango," Miroku said touching her face making her turn, "I… love you."

"Don't say that! How dare you mock that word with you tongue! The one that was down another girls throat!" She yelled before slapping him making him sit up so she could scoot away and sit up. He sat there holding his cheek, never had he been slapped that hard or furious by her. So hard she held her wrist in pain.

"I'm so sorry," he said watching her and the pain expressed on her face, "I'm so very sorry. I wasn't…"

"Save your sorry and lies for your whore!" Sango yelled using a word she wouldn't use often if ever, "I'm done believe in you Miroku!"

"Don't say that please believe me!" Miroku yelled grabbing her hand, "I love you, I love you I really do. I'm sorry that's just the way I was made I had told you this before, but I am ready to change give me a chance to change please."

"Stop please… stop filling my head with," before she could finish he interrupted her.

"I am not lying to you Sango. I love you," he said as heartfelt as he possibly could, "and I swear I am ready to try I am your just don't go. Please don't leave me… you're my only reason any more. The only thing keeping me a float, I had always known this but took advantage of your love assuming you would wait I am sorry. No more will this happen, never again. I will never love nor touch anyone but you I promise and I swear."

"Miroku," she cried shaking her head no, "I waited so long I don't know why I did other then blinded by my love or infatuation…"

"Don't say that please don't," he said kissing her hand, "my heart has been yours for awhile now. Embrace it please, make it your own… do not let it foolishly wonder off again. For it will never desire to ever again. Just one chance one more chance! Tell me what ever you want and I will work on it please."

"Are you serious?" Sango asked wiping her teary eyes, "do you swear?"

"I am serious and I swear and I swear I am serious and I am serious about my swear," he said pulling her into his arms desperately.

"Promise and swear you will never talk to another woman about bearing your child or sleeping with you, you will never cheat on me. That you won't talk about attractive woman, that you will not make googly eyes… that you will not hesitate again?" Sango asked pulling away and looking him in the eyes, "that we can finally be together no more waiting no more due dates… just it's it. That's it it's us… holding hands getting married raising babies?"

"I promise I swear and everything in-between. I will no longer act or behave or be a pervert. I will be yours if you will be mine," Miroku said kissing her lips gently before pulling her into an embrace.

--

"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked walking out side where she sat crying, "Sango will come back. Don't cry…"

"I know she will come back," Kagome said sniffling, "Kirara came back with Sango and Miroku, they made up they are finally a couple."

"Then why are you crying?" Inuyasha asked as he watched hug her knees tightly.

"I realized something," Kagome said standing up and walking to him, "I've done a lot of thinking."

"That's never good," Inuyasha joked a very inappropriate joke at that moment that her brother had taught him.

"Inuyasha," she said turning from him and crying some more making his eyes widen.

"Wait, Kagome, don't cry! It was just a joke," he said before she started to walk away towards where the bone eaters well was, "Kagome where are you going!"

"Home," Kagome said as they were finally approaching it, "Inuyasha…"

"What do you mean? You can't go now… we are so close to find the location of another shard. You can wait to go home later Kagome," Inuyasha said grabbing her arm before she turned so fast to yell at him.

"I'M GOING HOME INUYASHA!" Kagome then broke down into tears as Inuyasha sat on the ground his arms behind him holding him up. Kagome turned away from him placing both hands on her face and crying. For a moment Inuyasha was afraid to breathe let alone move. Slowly he stood up and poked her before backing up. But nothing had happened, why? Why was she still crying?

"Kagome stop crying will you? What's gotten into you?" he asked grabbing her arm more gently and spinning her around.

"I don't belong here," Kagome cried making him look at her confused, "I'm going home… here are the shikon shards."

"But, Kagome…" he said as she placed them in his hand, "if you give me these and return home…"

"I'm not coming back," Kagome said turning so he couldn't see the look of defeat on her face, "I'm too tired…"

"Then go back to Kaede's hut and rest," Inuyasha said placing a hand on her shoulder, "I'll watch over you don't worry."

"I hate moments like these," Kagome said catching him off guard once again. He just looked at her in confusion before she turned to face him again.

"Moments where I can't talk to you cause I am afraid to ruin them Inuyasha! I can't get over you as long as I am by you," Kagome said trying to be serious no more crying.

"What are you talking about Kagome?" he asked grabbing her wrist so she couldn't run off like normal.

"You will always love Kikyo! I told you I didn't care I just wanted to be with you but I lied! It's been awhile and still you have no place for me in your heart, and I have no place here in this world Inuyasha," she said looking at him sympathetically, "and I need to make no place for you in my heart. I can't do that here, and as long as I have the shard I can lose myself again and return and hurt all over again. I can't go what Miroku and Sango went through Inuyasha! I'm leaving and you can't stop me!"

"Stop fighting me Kagome!" he yelled hanging onto her wrist as she tried pulling it away, "Kagome!"

"Let me go! Please," Kagome said crying again, "I'm dying here. I can't live here Inuyasha… my heart isn't strong enough. Please let me go, and go find happiness where you most want to be. Let me go…"

"Why are you asking this of me. You know how things are how they always have been," he said softly unable to take in all she was saying.

"If I stayed Inuyasha I would wonder why what stopped me? My own selfish wants and desires? Or your momentary need for me?" Kagome said before he interrupted.

"My need for you is not momentary! Kagome I!" before Inuyasha could finish se interrupted him.

"Yes it is! Until Kikyo comes back and then I have to feel this pain in my chest and stomach. I can't take it! Have her replace my spot," Kagome said looking down hating what she was saying, "and… and, I'm sure you will be happier."

"Don't say this… besides who cares what I am happy with. What about Miroku and Sango?" Inuyasha said making her look to him and shake her head no.

"They have each other now," Kagome smiled weakly, "tell them I am happy for them."

"What about Shippo?" He said getting frustrated with this whole stupid conversation.

"Shippo has Sango and Miroku, you and Kirara," Kagome said turning so she couldn't see the look on his face.

"But he loves YOU," Inuyasha said frustrated that she wasn't listening to him, "what about me!?"

"What about you!" Kagome turned speedily making him back up before she calmed herself down, "I love you Inuyasha… but I am done thinking of only you."

"Kagome… think hard about it. And when you really do you wont go," he said crossing his arms and turning around. Kagome took a deep breath knowing he was right, which is why she wasn't going to think about it. Instead she walked up behind him moving her hand through his hair making him jump as she unfastened the bead rosary from his neck and letting it fall. Inuyasha quickly caught it before turning to see Kagome slowly walking away. Was she really going? She slowly made her way to the bone eaters well trying to push the loud sound of her beating heart from her head, "Kagome!!"

"Goodbye Inuyasha," she whispered softly placing her hands on the edge and slowly placing her knee up.

"KAGOME!!" he yelled running so fast knocking her from it that she barely saw it coming. She hit the ground roughly as he landed on top of her.

"Inuyasha let me go!" Kagome screamed as he grabbed her wrists holding her down.

"No! Your not leaving I won't let you," he growled making her tremble.

"Let go," she struggled making him growl again, "I'M GOING!"

"I'll destroy it so you can never leave again. Your not leaving me, ever," he growled before biting her in the neck marking her. She screamed out in pain as she pushed on him not really thinking of what was going. Was he really going to kill her for not wanting to help him find the shards. His eyes went red as the connection was made and she could feel a soft warm feeling flowing through her as they began to glow a golden color taking away the pain making it a more amazing feeling. _What's happening_, she thought to herself as he slowly began to retract his fangs. The golden aura remained and Inuyasha felt drained slightly falling on top of her. She was so confused as to what was happening. Kagome felt his tongue gently lick the inflamed bite marks as they slowly began to heal, "now your mine Kagome…"

"Why," Kagome asked as he lay on her both trembling from the experience.

"Because I love you," Inuyasha whispered tiredly, "and now I've made you mine, and so there fore… I am yours."

"What?" Kagome asked her eyes widen. Had he just made her his mate? Had she forgotten!

"Did you not want this Kagome? Do you not love me back like you said you did?" Inuyasha asked softly and drained.

"I do love you Inuyasha," she said softly as he slowly gained a little of his energy back.

"Well now we can be together, now we are together," he said feeling her tremble as he kissed her lips making her feel even more nervous. His hand slipped through her hair onto the back of her neck making his kisses more passionate…

-End of Flashback-

"I think I will end my tale there," Kagome blushed making Rin giggle happily at the happy ending, "well at least you finally ended up together. My ending will not end so happily."

"He loves you Rin I could see that. He shows it surprisingly more then Inuyasha even showed for me before that night," Kagome squeezed Rin's hand.

"Really? He's told me he's loved me, and in all honestly," Rin began to blush, "we've shared a bed. But it is I who has said that I cannot be with him. I am engaged to Halder. He is a good man and his people need me, and not a war between Sesshomaru and Halder."

"Yes but I am sure Halder would understand that you and Sesshomaru have had something before he even knew you existed," Kagome said looking at Rin seriously, "do not give up hope… the golden haired one catches your prince's eye more then any of you think."

"Really?" Rin asked happily, "… but he is a prideful honorable man. He will stick to his word, even if another catches his eye…"

"Perhaps you and your friend can work up a scheme. Perhaps you can come up with a plan," Kagome smiled happily, "I will help you…"

"Thank you Kagome," Rin smiled wider then she had in awhile, "I am so glad you have come. I would have been lost without you."

"I'm sure that is not entirely true. However we should head back to bed," Kagome said smiling as the girls got up not realizing they were being watched. Giving away some valuable information.

Authors note: Alright all I hope you enjoyed that! Thank you to the two who commented on my last comments! If I hadn't got them, I don't know if I would have erm… written this. Plus I watched some episodes that made me want throw these guys in. Thanks for reading! So what do you think? Was it long enough?


	26. Siblings and Dark wings of Pain

**Chapter 26**: The power of love ALL kinds (Siblings…) and the wings of pain

Authors note: I am SOOOOO sorry that I have taken so long to get started, however I will devote almost all my time on this chapter just for those of you who reviewed and I was so absorbed in other things to get back to this. But here I am fully devoted fully refreshed from my mental resting. I am so excited where to begin what to do… you all should know you have about as much clue as to what's going as I do. I mean I know what I am going to HAVE happen the possible twists I will decide from however I have no plans or ideas, I write better that way. Thank you for reading and sticking through even though I was going through a rough patch, and super thanks to those who reviewed.

Sesshomaru passed through wondering about what had happened to Rin, whether she was being fitted for her wedding dress. Or was she thinking about him? Was she planning for her wedding? Or was she dreaming of him by her side. Was his Rin possibly torn between him and another? Or was her heart fully his?

The ground had been a crispy golden color where few green sprouts shot out still full of life. It was like Rin even through the storms and being trampled… she stood still young vibrant. Her sweet smile came to his mind and he cringed when he thought of all the time he brought tears to those warm calming brown eyes. Why was he so cold? How could he have pushed her away so long not taking it seriously until the possibility of other men or youkai came into the picture? At time he thought perhaps it would be best for his human ward to take on a husband and raise a family, but with time her unending devotion and loyalty he could not let her go. He would not admit to that at first, then again how could he? To proclaim that he indeed after saying he would never love again let alone accept a human in any way like that would be out of the question. So he cut her off emotionally, but he couldn't help with more time together as well as the possibility of losing to someone he didn't see as better then him out raged him.

_How did I let this happen. Fool this Sesshomaru is, _he growled under his breath as he walked through the forest feeling uneasy as he let himself slip into a unapparent sadness. Even in some of his deepest darkest most depressed moment Sesshomaru would show very little IF any emotions at all. Only in private would he show them to those he could feel safe letting, uncomfortably, loose of these so very well guarded emotions. _Why didn't I see it coming? How could I be so foolish to think no one would love her? It's Rin, she caught this Sesshomaru's eye and then breath. Even if she is nothing extraordinary… she is Rin and doesn't need to be. Now she will be gone, but at least if I die I will die for a noble cause. For Rin… _he caught a whiff of something that pulled him from his tormenting and punishing thoughts.

"Come out of hiding, come where I can see you," Sesshomaru said coolly as well as calmly. He had been expecting this youkai, a messenger he had hired long ago. The cheetah demon walked out with light yellow skin and long light and dark brown hair and little yellow and polka dotted ears on top of his head. He wore a yellow outfit which consisted of a yellow hakama and a sleeveless shirt which looked like a kimono only cut down in certain ways. Made specially for his fast and flawless speed and movement. He needed to move freely and heavy or too loose of clothing would infringe on that.

"I have the news you desire," the cheetah youkai bowed to the inuyoukai lord. Sesshomaru bowed back knowing he was very providential to have this type of rare youkai in those parts serving him. They were very faithful, devoted, and hard working… a rare breed MOST especially in that area. Most of those regions were ruled by Inuyoukai's, although those breeds were slowly dieing out themselves with the Naraku sending everyone in a frenzy attacking others trying to gain more land and more slaves to sacrifice. It was a sad thing, but he cared nothing for it… not like Rin did. Even though she shouldn't. It was none of their business, it didn't interfere The Western Lands. When such happened, he would take matters into his own hands.

"What news do you have for me Hayai," he said standing with grace and power. The cheetah demon did not fear Sesshomaru, and in fact he rather enjoyed the stoic lord… he had none enough of him and met him with a few times. He could sense those who would attempt in deceiving him, he knew this lord was on a mission for love… he could sense her all over him. His nose as most cheetah youkai's were way more sensitive.

"Naraku stills stirs in his castle he has not yet sensed your presence. However he has sent men out close by where you left behind the back up. He sent three youkai, two were middle class and one was upper class. They are heading for a traveling bunch deep in the forest," Hayai said looking at him reading the worry on his face.

"Did you get names descriptions?" Sesshomaru asked hastily growling unnecessarily at the cheetah youkai.

"No names just that their a group of five woman, and six men well five and then a youkai boy," Hayai said quickly making Sesshomaru sigh.

"Rin would be alone with just her hand made and possibly that foolish hanyou soldier," Sesshomaru snarled slightly at the word. Although he had grown more accustomed to them, he still had a harboring dislike for the kind.

"What if others traveled with her?" Hayai made a good point.

"When did they leave? Did you know where?" Sesshomaru sighed wanting to get there to at least clear his conscious.

"They left a little before I sir it took me nearly seven hours to get here to warn you I have no idea where they have progressed my lord. However they were heading in the same direction as I. OH and they were in a mighty hurry they were following the one with wings, he had ran into them before and was showing them to the general location," Hayai said bowing feeling horrible, "but I shall accompany and help you further."

"That is not necessary you have a home to return your debt has been paid your families allegiance is no longer mandatory. You are no longer held to the life long debt your family has been paying off to us Hayai too many of your faithful breed has died, no more of you should die. Naraku would find too much joy in it," Sesshomaru said before turning around and slowly making his way away from the shocked youkai. Was that it? Was his family really free?

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Hayai hollered to Sesshomaru who had been some what of a friend throughout his life time. He had even met Rin on several occasions and liked her more then any the woman Sesshomaru had ever encountered. Especially now that she had grown up, there meetings were never many. Throughout his life time he had been called on by Sesshomaru thirty five times in the life time of debt his family owed him.

"What is it Hayai?" Sesshomaru asked not turning to stare at the young future youkai lord.

"Call upon the cheetah clan whenever you need an ally. You have done much for my family and country. Good luck," Kayai nodded his respect for the great lord. Sesshomaru turned to glance on him, and there certainly was no smile… but he gave a small courteous nod before turning back to his mission.

That cheetah demon had a better nose then even Sesshomaru… and he could sense that something very bad was brewing. Sesshomaru was still going to need him. So either he could return to his home as he was freely given the demand, he preferred to say option out of pride, or follow and help Sesshomaru once more to feel his task was TRULY complete.

--

Rin stopped nearly running into Sagoe with her horse, they were all tired the sun would lower soon. They were in a very tight nit line. Kagome and Inuyasha took the lead side by side, Soton next to his sister Sagoe, Rin uncomfortably next Halder Gracie and Vin, and Miroku and Sango took up the rear. Shippo was out keeping an eye out for things, though really he just didn't like horses. They were much bigger then him, and just… didn't seem right.

"What's that smell?" Sagoe asked wrinkling her nose making her Soton laugh and shake his head.

"I think you are still delirious my sister," Soton chuckled at his sisters dispense. Sagoe shot him a very angry youkai look that made Soton turn his head knowing he embarrassed his poor sister.

"Your sister is right Soton we should be prepared. Call back your kitsune before he meets an unkind visitor," Halder said pulling his horse to a halt. Most horses would have been spooked by the demonic powers of the demons, but these horses were special… raised and trained around demons. Pulled from their mothers at a young age and cared for by demons, Halder had a fancy at taming things… he wanted things that weren't meant to be his. Some how he just had a habit of doing such things, the things that intrigued him the most… unfortunately for Rin. She was a hobby for him herself.

"Shippo can handle himself," Inuyasha snorted walking beside Kagome not wanting to be on top of no stupid beast. He was afraid that any moment it might spook and hurt his beloved pregnant Kagome.

"Inuyasha what if he cant this time," Kagome pleaded looking at him with bubbly eyes.

"Ohhh damn it Kagome! SHIPPO!" Inuyasha yelled after growling at her. Shippo came scuttling back but not at Inuyasha's call.

"InuyaSSHHAA," Shippo squeaked looking back as two demons raced through after him.

"What's wrong Shippo can't use your great fox powers on lowly demons?" Inuyasha snorted taunting the kid.

"There is TWO of them if you hadn't noticed _Inuyasha_," he said his name as if it were a naughty word and taunting the poor hanyou with it. Inuyasha just glared at Shippo as he jumped for Kagome's leg and scurried up as Inuyasha began to grin.

"Feh! Piece of cake," Inuyasha said walking forward and pulling out Tesusaiga. The first demon laughed and gurgled pleased at what he found, "you want a piece of me huh?"

"Inuyasha don't taunt it! Kill it!" Kagome yelled pulling out her bow and placing and arrow in it. She released the arrow yet they were able to dodge it. One was a hyena demon with furry skin and a silly uncontrollable laugh. His tongue was long and hung unattractively, he wore tight cloth pants to fit his odd shaped legs. The other was more of a lizard demon, his skin was green and he was built like a human man… minus ears. His skin was not fleshy like a humans, it was more of a bubbly some parts scaly texture… and it's face crumpled in with rivets and bulges that looked liked filed down horns.

"Ahhh!" Soton yelled pulling out his sword and charging his horse at the lizard slicing into one of the demons while Inuyasha was getting ready set off an attack. The one who was not cut sliced at him pulling him from the horse which instinctively ran back to the safety of his herd. Shippo grabbed the reins to hold it still as Sagoe called out.

"SOTON!" Sagoe screamed kicking her horse harder then needed getting the mare to take off with great speed.

"Soton! Sagoe no…" Rin said frantically as Soton grabbed his bleeding side trying to fend off the laughing hyena drooling its nasty saliva on him as it snapped at him when ever his sword fell from the pain in his side.

"SAGOE!" Halder acted instinctively for his former best friend. He charged his horse after Sagoe who was nearing her failing brother. Reaching out he grabbed her reins turning her. Sagoe smacked at him.

"That's my brother!!" Sagoe screamed as Halder let go and charged the demons hating the smell of her tears.

_Damn it Soton… she can't lose anyone else. Damn it Sagoe, I don't think I could lose you…_ he thought as he let out a battle cry flinging his sword not letting out a attack afraid of harming his mount and Soton. The lizard spat Halder hitting in the chest making him fly off his horse.

"Foolsss," a familiar hiss came from the bushes. He sprung out at Halder laying painfully on the ground already becoming paralyzed.

"NO!" Sagoe cried unable to take what could happen, "SOMEBODY!"

"Sesshomaru," Rin cried feeling so hopeless as Inuyasha was about to let loose his attack.

"Inuyasha NO!! You'll kill them!" Kagome screamed making Sagoe look to them hopelessly. Rin pulled out her sword it was specially made for her and it was one with her. Sesshomaru had it made for her, very light and easy to transport on her.

"Damn you Sesshomaru," she hissed for leaving her as she squeezed Ingwë, her horse's preferred name, and let him give her a jolting speed. It was their time to prove their worth, "we are not just some tag along or extra burden we are useful! Let's show them what we've practiced! What we've got!"

The horse snorted in agreement throwing its head up calling into the wind the huge gray dappled stallion gleamed under the sun almost a blue gray color as he charged snorting as Rin held her sword against the pressure pushing back against her. The hyena laughed licking it's lips swinging it's blade at them. Rin hadn't expected him to throw a boomerang type of blade.

_Oh shit_ Rin thought for the first time worrying closing her eyes feeling her horse moving regardless beneath her. But something chimed in her telling her not to worry almost a soft voice whispering to her calmly… a deep manly voice. Rin opened her eyes just as her leaped perfectly into the air over the moving missile a height Rin hadn't really been prepared for. If Ingwë hadn't moved the way he did to keep her on and nearly trip himself she would have face planted the earth probably breaking her neck. Sagoe had gasped holding her hands too her face. Rin grasped his hair holding her sword high giving off a battle cry as she sliced at the snake making him gasp as he was about to devour the prince who lay their limply his body shudder to fight off the venom which would surely have killed a human. The snake squirmed flopping around as Rin swung her sword releasing a blast of blue fire that was making it squeal and hit the ground repeatedly making the earth shake.

"You stupid wench you don't know who you've messed with," the Lizard hissed and within second his tongue was out and around her waist pulling her off the horse and to the ground painfully making her scream out.

"Rin!" several people screamed out. Even Soton fought his wound to get to her. Kagome pulled out another arrow shooting it while it wasn't paying attention it squirmed as Rin and half of his tongue fell to the floor. Rin grabbed her stomach feeling the stinging acid burning through her close and getting her skin. She quickly ripped it away revealing her midsection as inappropriate as her lord would say that was it was indeed necessary. Rin screamed out feeling the pain as wiped the excess off before it could do any more damage. Rin grabbed her sword and ran to Soton as Sango jumped off letting her Hiraikotsu fly through the air knocking back the hyena demon making him growl at her. Miroku leaped off ready to defend his wife as it blocked her second attack with his own weapon before throwing it at them. Miroku quickly opened his void before the bee youkai that usually helped in Naraku's schemes flew out of the trees.

"Naraku…" Sango said as the demons weapon slipped into his air void, "damn it! It's a trap!"

"Rin!" Shippo squeaked seeing something coming their direction. Was it Naraku himself? Was today the day they were going to face Naraku? Possibly their last day?

Rin cried out as she felt something stick into her back. A blade the hyena demon had a spare blade, which it sliced through her back. Rin stumbled forward placing her hand on her back feeling the thick fresh blood run out of the pulsing throbbing wound.

"Why?" Rin cried looking into the sky, "would this happen. What did we do to deserve this?"

Scream came from all around as the hyena went on to attack the Miroku and his group as Inuyasha held off the lizard who spat at him making it hard for Inuyasha to get attack in. He heard Kagome's screams as they were forces to scatter, they all abandoned the horses as Shippo was given the job to take them along with Gracie and Vin and hide. Keep their mounts and the older folks safe.

"Kagome!" he yelled out as the Hyena sliced through her as she turned to look at Inuyasha moving towards Sango blocking her attack and catching her chest not enough to do more then barely open it before getting her from the back slicing her as well. He was so fast for the mortals that he stabbed his sword through Miroku pulling out. Miroku fell down beside his wife waiting for the youkai to finish them off. Rin's eyes filled with tears… she was the reason they were out there. It was her fault they were being slaughtered. Inuyasha was being distracted and was hit with the acid which didn't bother Inuyasha he was strong. Rage built up in him he released his attack on him there was no one behind the stupid demon, "AH!!" he screamed feeling everything inside him boiling. He needed to get to Kagome she was on the ground which was covered with blood mixed between Kagome, Sango, and Miroku. The hyena demon laughed victoriously looking down at Miroku… he was taunting his victims. They knew it was the end, he just wanted them to fear him as he drew their last breaths, "Wind Scar!!"

Rin got up running against the pain at the hyena approaching quietly behind Inuyasha slowly lifting his blade as the lizard was being taken down by Inuyasha's sword power. Rin sliced at the air sending a wave of pulsing blue flames that only attacked the hyena before cutting through it and then taking it's head off. Inuyasha nodded to her before taking off to the hill where his friend where Halder was slowly starting to the feel back in his body more and more Sagoe sat nursing him. She had no weapons nothing to fend them off as she pulled both her brother and the prince out of the way without the lizard knowing so Inuyasha could properly deal with him.

_Sesshomaru _Rin swallowed falling to her knee as grasped as her back feeling the blood soaked shirt and the wound which was still bleeding. She could barely keep her balance on her knees the pain was just so great. She could see Sesshomaru in her mind and slowly thought she saw him walking out of the clearing of the forest into their field of grass. She could see the long swaying hair and his beautiful face, but soon her lord was not there… and in her place was a familiar man with long black hair and a bare chest. He walked down the hill look her in the eyes as if talking to her. _Comeeee… come to me._ It hypnotized her taking away the pain giving her glimpses of Sesshomaru. _I will spare their pathetic lives Rin… just come with me…_ he said as she slowly stood to her feet looking back at the ground. Kagome lay in Inuyasha's arms as he let silent sobs out. Miroku lay on Sango's barely able to sit up lap as her own blood slowly mixed with her husbands. Sagoe sat with her brother and prince Halder. _Don't look back…_ he whispered in her head. Rin turned and started walking towards him. Inuyasha turned to look at her.

"Wait! What the hell!" Inuyasha yelled as Kagome coughed praying for her baby. Rin looked back at them.

"Tell him I love him! And I'm sorry… I'm doing this for," she began to sniffle as she looked at them. The demon was at her side to make sure she did hesitate.

"No he'll finish us off if I let you go!" Inuyasha yelled cradling Kagome.

"He will if I don't go with!" Rin yelled as he jerked her into his arms before sprouting wings and taking off into the sky. Inuyasha cussed furiously as the black winged creature took off with his half brothers love.

"Damn it," Inuyasha said softly with nothing but the smell of blood surrounding him and all he could do was let loose, "DAMN IT!!"

"Inu… yasha," Kagome sputtered looking at him as tears fell from his eyes onto her cheeks.

"I didn't come this far to lose you," Inuyasha said hiding his eyes with his long hair, "damn it Kagome… damn it. Don't… even think about leaving."

"Inuyasha," she whimpered feeling the pain going cold.

--

Rin felt fear as she let go of her grip on the bird demon hoping she would fall and die. How did this man always charm her? Why did she go? Why did she not fight him herself? All she knew was she was afraid and she was sure that terror hadn't even really begun for her. Rin kicked off a shoe trying to leave a scent trail with out the man with the wings realizing so, and then kicking the other off before letting small things go like pieces of her kimono she would rip off.

--

_What the hell? Why do I smell blood? It's so heavy and rich… perhaps I am too late and the group is now nothing but cold corpses. _Sesshomaru's gaze turned from left to right as he walked through the trees further and further looking in every direction before the smell got stronger and familiar. He speeded up seeing the clearing of the forest as he ran through it and saw two separate groups. _My half brother? His wife… but they were. Halder? How… Soton and his sister? RIN. _

"Where is she?" Sesshomaru growled down by Sagoe and Soton within a second making her scream not knowing it was him. She tried to catch her breath as he stood there in front of here breathing heavy and lividly, "WHERE IS RIN!"

"Gone," Soton choked revealing his wound, "we were attacked. Some how they found us."

"YOU FOOLS! You were to PROTECT her keep her in the castle!" he growled snatching at the boys collar making Sagoe squeal in fear of the great inuyoukai.

"Please don't hurt him!" she screamed getting onto her knees and bowing repeatedly.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Sesshomaru growled tossing the boy painfully back onto the ground.

"I am sorry lord Sesshomaru it is my fault she is here I fuel her passion to find you," she said nearly letting slip her love in front of the still partially immobilized Halder. Sagoe went grab at her but Soton got in the way, "she was going to kill herself!"

"What?" Sesshomaru stopped his rage slowly melting his red eyes slowly turning back to his golden ones, "why?"

"She believed that would be the last time she would see you," she whispered so only he could hear. Sesshomaru nodded once before sitting onto his knees.

"Rin," he sighed softly his hand on his thigh as he slumped in defeat, "I don't know exactly where his castle is… I may not find her in time."

"Do not lose hope my lord," Sagoe said cradling the prince in her arm and lap and her other on her brother.

"He doesn't deserve you," Sesshomaru said nodding to Halder not sure what had happened or even cared. He got up and turned around walking towards his brother who sat there with his wife, "is everyone still alive?"

"Why do you care you bastard! This is what I get for watching over that human girl!" Inuyasha yelled as Kagome murmured in his lap.

"Because I understand your feelings I will let you get away with that once little brother. But I need… some assistance," Sesshomaru demanded instead of asked.

"No way in hell!" Inuyasha yelled, "I'm not about to leave my wife to fucking help YOU!"

"We will take her to where the camps are, all of them… if any should die I swear whether things turn out the way I plan that I will bring any and all of them back," Sesshomaru said desperate and surprised he would even ask his brother this no matter how much closer they had been since the begging. There was still a little rivalry… things that got tucked way down, "just… help me get to Naraku in good fighting condition and I can do the rest. Then take Rin and get out… I will give you my Tenseiga which WILL be returned to me if, after I get out."

_Kagome,_ Inuyasha thought as he looked down at her and a low growl escaped, "only because I want to get revenge am I taking that deal, brother," he said as if he were mocking the title, "but if you don't keep your promise…"

"Don't make any promises, LITTLE _brother_, that would jeopardize our current circumstances. I don't want to have to kill you," Sesshomaru growled making Inuyasha smirk.

"FEH I guess you've grown," he snarled a insult making Sesshomaru lower his eyes never before actually, slightly, enjoying having a little sibling rivalry the bickering and insults… and name calling. After awhile it wasn't total torture and he thought maybe someday they could actually get along like a family _Heh doubt it_ Sesshomaru thought glaring at his brother.

"At least someone has," he said falling into the game.

"Yeah but you got all softened up over a GIRL," Inuyasha mocked him as he stroked Kagome's hair.

"Heh look whose talking… you have tear streaks through the dirt and blood little brother. You shouldn't let your tears escape at least in public little brother. Crying is for woman and children," Sesshomaru spat, "and the weak."

"Feh a least I HAVE heart worthy of having love to let a tear escape when your lover is dying. You are just heartless," Inuyasha scowled showing his sharp teeth.

"How dare you!" Sesshomaru growled almost radiating a new hatred. Apparently Inuyasha struck the nerve he wanted to cause he gained a smile before remembering Kagome was in need of some attention to save the baby, "hurry and get your wife and then come help me collect the others. Where are those stupid human mounts?"

Authors note: Now how was THAT was it at least some what worthy of the long wait? Or was I disappointing? What did you like? What did you not? Just don't um be TOOOO harsh… I am very sensitive. However it is 3:38 Am and I want to get this up so I will not proof read as usual. I am so lazy I know… I need to start doing that. Anywho thanks much guys!


	27. Driven by love

**Chapter 27:**Driven by love: Sesshomaru's greatest weakness...

Authors note: I thought I would get an early start. One review it made me so happy that I decided I would start writing right now, there will probably be few interruptions from my family wanting to take over the damn only computer in our ENTIRE apartment. Anywho here I go…

Sesshomaru's foot came down heavily on a twig vengefully, Inuyasha walked beside him without hesitation. They had swiftly gotten the whole group back to Halder original party by Kirara and Ah-un's swift appearances when they were called. Healers were attending all of them as best as they could. Sesshomaru had taken his brother onto his original path wishing he had asked the cheetah demon just where that damned castle was.

Neither talked… not only because they were worried about the ones they loved, but because they felt uneasy with one another. Neither had ever traveled alone with the other. Inuyasha felt relieved knowing that his friends and family were being cared for, where as Sesshomaru was worried knowing his lover was in the hands of Naraku now. Inuyasha caught Sesshomaru's attention when he stopped and sniffed at the air.

"What is it," Sesshomaru demanded not looking at his brother wrinkling his nose. Inuyasha just scoffed as if his brother really didn't know.

"There is a demon near by," Inuyasha said crossing his arms as Sesshomaru just smirked and walked on.

"You just now noticed?" Sesshomaru said walking forward without his brother, "Scared of a little fight Inuyasha?"

"Feh I look for a fight," Inuyasha tried to sound tough but Sesshomaru didn't make a sound he just kept walking forward, "are you always like this?"

"What might that be?" Sesshomaru asked indulging in his brothers ramblings as another easy way of insulting him.

"So well… as Kagome would say un-cool? Your very… statue like. Your such a bastard," Inuyasha didn't know how else to explain it, "how does Rin deal with it? I don't know how…"

"I would silence yourself little brother before I take out my anger on you," Sesshomaru stopped and growled gritting his teeth. He wanted nothing more to fight that stupid hanyou, but at that moment he needed someone to get Rin out while he fought Naraku.

"Strike a nerve? Just a question. Don't you ever wonder yourself? What a girl like her sees in you?" Inuyasha walked forward unafraid of his older brother.

"I don't have time for this," Sesshomaru said still not looking back but walking forward. Inuyasha just let out a small huff hoping he would get a good practice run in before going into the castle wherever that might be.

"Sesshomaru," a demons voice rang through the forest making Sesshomaru stop and blink before shifting his gaze to his right.

--

Rin sat on the cold floor feeling her body tremble, where was she? The place was dark and stunk of sulfur really bad. There was an eerie red glow through the dark which was supposed to be light, and from the looks of it she was in a cell. Hesitantly she got up and walked to where the bars sat where she could hear terrible screaming sounds. Rin's eyes stung with pain not from the tiny tears escaping, but it was very hot in there considering how cold the floor was… the walls were extremely hot.

"Hello?" a small voice came from down the way making Rin blink nervously as she could see a teen boy grabbing the hot handle bars.

"Hello," Rin's soft shaky voice replied his inventation, "who are you?"

"I could ask you the same," the man's voice sounded deeper like he was around her age if not a little older.

"How long have I been in here? Where am I at?!" Rin said panicking knowing she would never see her lover again except when she closed her eyes.

"Your in Naraku's confinement. You've been here for maybe two hours. And my name is Kohaku what is yours?" the boy said comforting her a little, "I am a prisoner also."

"Kohaku?" Rin said remembering his name, "Sango's brother?"

"You know her? How is she?" Kohaku asked hurriedly, "who are you?"

"I am Rin," she said trying to block out the image of the demon slayer on the ground.

"Sesshomaru's ward Rin? I remember you," he said putting a finger on it, "didn't a I try to…"

"Yeah," Rin said quickly cutting him off remembering back to those days, "but you were possessed. Speaking of that… why aren't you right now?"

"Naraku out grew his need for me and instead placed me in here," Kohaku said thinking of the many years he had spent in there, "I think he has forgotten about me… he hasn't sent anyone to kill me yet."

"Well that is good because your sister will want to see you when you get out," Rin lied knowing that they probably wouldn't make it out. More screams came from down the way making Rin's skin crawl. She had just a simple human nose but she could smell blood so heavily… it was such a rich bold stink that her nose began to twinge.

"What is that screaming from?" Rin asked unsure of whether she truly wanted to know or not.

"Youkai and hanyou… very rarely a human. Naraku absorbs them to keep his strength while he hides out," Kohaku said feeling uncomfortable at the thought of the process. It was painful they were beaten and sometimes partially mutilated so they couldn't fight back as Naraku practically ate them. Rin cringed at every blood curdling scream, "don't worry if you're here long enough you'll get used to."

"I don't know about that," Rin said feeling heartbroken, "and I hope I am not here that long…"

"No one can save you here," Kohaku said sadly, "I dreamed of being saved so many times. The food is little and nasty… the watery is muggy and tastes terrible. This is not a place any would wish to stay or plan to stay, but some things are out of our control lady Rin."

"No either Sesshomaru will come for me or my fiancé Prince Halder will with his army," Rin said hoping against all odds, "or I will save my self."

"That is very brave but your best bet is to hide whenever they walk in so they forget you exist and let you live long enough to see him hopefully killed," Kohaku said getting closer to the wall so he could talk softer to her. Rin did the same reaching out and grabbing his hand. Kohaku squeezed it hearing the large black iron door fling open and he quickly let go and ran to the back of his cell. Rin did the same, but she was not so lucky because they knew she was there.

"Get up bitch!" the guard a husky boar like youkai with tusks curling out of his mouth snarled as he threw the cell door open. Rin hugged her back to the wall ignoring the hotness that was scolding her already wounded back.

"Get off of me!" Rin screamed as he stormed in grabbing her arm and dragging her. She scratched and clawed at him making him throw her against the wall.

"I will eat you if you don't stop!" he bellowed grabbing her by the hair and throwing her out of her cell. She got up trying to run down the long hallway of cells away from the large iron door. She felt the ground shake as his huge feet plopped while running after her. She screamed as he made great speed and grabbed her again.

"No let go! Get off of me!" Rin screamed hitting him as he grabbed her by the hair and began walking back. She grabbed onto his hand that held her hair as he lifted her off her feet a little. It hurt so bad she started kicking but the more movement she made the more it hurt. He was nearing the large iron door and Rin grew panicky and saw it gleam at her. He had a sword on his side, it hurt her as she grabbed it and stabbed it through his side. He squealed as the blood squirted out when she twisted covering her in his smelly black blood. He dropped her and fell to his knees grabbing his side before she swung the blade once more and decapitated him. Rin stood there shakily the sword in both hands held to her side as she took deep heavy breaths covered in his stinky blood.

Rin looked out the tiny hole in the black door and saw a large metal bridge and decided that she was going to have some company getting out of there. Rin checked the beast for his keys and when she found them she took off for her cell. She stopped at the cell beside the one that had held her, and quickly fumbled with the keys. After trying many keys Kohaku realized it wasn't a demon coming for him, but in fact it was the human girl Rin.

"Kohaku," she breathed as she pushed the door open and hugging him. He couldn't believe he would finally be leaving that cell as she hugged him frantic for someone like her so she wasn't lonely, "I wasn't going to leave you."

"Thank you Rin," he said taking her hand and pulling her back towards the iron door. Rin held the youkai sword beside her even though she couldn't make it transform or do anything it was still metal and could still kill. Kohaku stopped to look out the window of the door making sure the coast is clear.

"You know the way out of here right?" Rin asked making him to her and think about it.

"I was possessed most of the time, but I do have many memories. So, um, I hope so," Kohaku said giving her a look that showed uncertainty, "no promises."

"Great," Rin said slumping her shoulders and wiping some of the blood off of her face.

--

Halder moaned as he woke up feeling his body ache, but the memory of the battle had come back to play in his mind. He began to be tormented by the sight of Sesshomaru and realizing Rin had been taken away. He was to protect her, she was his fiancée and still he couldn't even protect that. Why were things so complicated? And did Sesshomaru love Rin? Was that why he didn't like Halder even though he claimed to be alright with him. Halder didn't understand although he tried, but perhaps he really just didn't want to. Rin was something special, a gift something to be treasured not kept hidden. He let out another small groan.

"Don't over exert yourself milord," Sagoe said walking in to the tent letting the flap fall behind her, "your recuperating well prince."

"You know you of all people have earned the right to not call me my lord or prince," Halder said slowly sitting up feeling where the poisoned had burned through his armor onto his skin leaving marks.

"It will heal," Sagoe smiled sitting down beside him her long golden hair up in a bun on top of her head.

"Thank you Sagoe… but will it leave scars?" Halder asked worriedly touching the nasty bubbled skin that had many infect sores.

"You will be perfect again in no time Halder," Sagoe smiled touching his arm. He looked up at her catching her eyes before she let them slip and she pulled her hand from his arm. He quickly took her hand in his catching her gaze once more not letting it fall, "I should go…"

"Where?" he asked not breaking their eye contact. Sagoe swallowed nervously.

"Anywhere but here," Sagoe said nervously trying to stand up but he did not release her wrist, "my lord…"

"Sagoe," he said still looking up at her, "it's these little times that help to remind there is nothing without love. Before you I never had any friends or anyone who really cared before. I want you to be happy more then I want anythi…"

"Please stop," Sagoe said breaking the eye contact, "I must go…"

"Sagoe wait," he said letting his lingering emotions get the best of him.

"Your medication will be ready soon I must go finish looking after the others before I can bring it to you," Sagoe said bowing nervously before running out of the tent to stop and catch her breath. Her shoulders dropped and she let out a breath she tried to hold in.

"Sagoe," another healer caught her attention so she could move back to the attention at hand. She walked into the tent where Kagome and Sango lay wrapped up and sleeping. Sagoe finished mixing the herbs into a paste before placing it in their food and waking them.

"Inu…yasha?" Kagome asked unable to fully open her eyes. Sagoe shook her head before answering.

"It is Sagoe I am here to bring you your food lady Kagome," Sagoe said placing the food beside her, "your medicine is inside so you can eat it without being to grossed out by it. Make sure you eat it all for your baby's sake."

"Where is my husband?" Kagome asked coughing as she sat up carefully to not touch her throbbing back to anything.

"He left with Lord Sesshomaru," Sagoe said looking sympathetically at Kagome, "they made a deal which saved your lives."

"How could he?" Kagome cried, "why?"

"To save you," Sagoe said gripping her hand, "they made sure you all made it back here safely. You would have died out there, Inuyasha couldn't lose you so he agreed to do what his brother asked."

"He was supposed to wait for me!" Kagome cried, "he can't take on Naraku alone."

"Don't anger yourself milady your wounds! Master Inuyasha is not going to fight Naraku he is supposed to make sure Sesshomaru gets inside fully energized and take Rin out…"

"Rin? What happened to her?" Kagome asked as Sango woke up stirring her made trying to get her to eat.

"She was taken by a demon in exchange for our lives. We believe to Naraku for that was the direction he flew," Sagoe said as Sango caught on.

"Did Miroku go also?" Sango asked nervously.

"No lady Sango Master Miroku is in the tent sleeping along side the kitsune. His wounds are healing a little slower," Sagoe said bowing before leaving to get the rest of her needed herbs.

"What ever will happen to Inuyasha," Kagome whispered sadly.

"He will be fine Kagome Inuyasha knows what he is doing. Have faith in your lover, have faith in his love for you. It will bring him to you," Sango said trying to smile from her bed. Kagome nodded sadly before looking at her food before closing her eyes and eating it for her baby.

--

Sesshomaru stood there silently as Inuyasha pulled out the Tetsusaiga. Sesshomaru glanced at his brother and the sword that he tried to take from him. The irony was that Inuyasha needed the sword, Sesshomaru needed nothing… so he thought. Rin had without his knowledge become a need, a consistent… something to calm his rage. Inuyasha looked to Sesshomaru curiously.

"You won't need that," Sesshomaru scowled before throwing, "how pathetic."

"I will…!" before Inuyasha could finish his insult a demon jumped up and stood before Sesshomaru.

"I thought I told you to go home Hayai?" Sesshomaru said as he watched the cheetah demon bow down before him.

"You released my family of their debt my lord so I no longer HAVE to listen to your orders. I thought you might like this," he said handing a tiny sandal like shoe to Sesshomaru that was surely Rin's.

"Where did you find it?" Sesshomaru asked as Hayai smiled before leading the way.

Hours later they came on the spot and began to search more thoroughly of the place. Inuyasha was the first to find another shoe off more east and hollered for the other two. Hayai fetched Sesshomaru and they went to where Inuyasha found her other shoe. They then knew she had been leaving clues and sniffed out the rest of her scent.

--

Rin and Kohaku walked through the iron door carefully walking over the metal shaky bridge. Rin looked down and saw molten lava and gasped. Kohaku squeezed her hand to encourage her to keep moving. Rin nodded and squinted her eyes feeling pain from the heat, her lungs were filling up with stuff humans shouldn't ingest. Together they made their way to another door which led to the castle.

"Stay close Rin and be careful. Try not to touch the walls," he said still gripping her hand.

"Why not?" Rin asked as they curved around the door way and down the wall. Kohaku didn't look back at her as they made their way the large hallway with many doors.

"I know my way a little from here now," he said walking past the endless rooms of suffering people.

"Why not touch the walls Kohaku?" Rin asked nervously as he gripped her hand pulling her speedily down the hall.

"We are inside a volcano Rin we must be careful. The walls are scorching hot it is not good for our flesh," Kohaku said as the stair case came into view. But as they saw the stair case some youkai came out grunting. Rin stopped yanking Kohaku back, but it was too late they were spotted. Rin gasped upset about their last chance slowly become less of a chance and more of a death sentence.

"Kohaku," Rin said hanging onto his hand as they slowly walked backwards. Rin swallowed nervously feeling her mouth get dry, "we can't out run them."

"I know," Kohaku said as Rin held up the sword and waited for them to advance.

"You little wench what makes you think you can out do the likes of us," a demon that looked more lizard like then the lizard demon from before. Rin began to shake uncomfortably as she faced the demon. It was accompanied by another Hyena and Boar demon. Rin charged the demon but with a swift hand it snatched her so she could not fight.

"Kohaku run!" Rin yelled as Kohaku watched unable to fight he had no weapon. He could run or get caught. At least if he ran he could get help for Rin, so slowly and unsure he turned to run. Rin swung her arm out catching the hyena demon off guard when she swung the sword out cutting him through the belly as his innards fell out onto the floor and it howled in pain.

"You wench!" the demon holding her screamed throwing her to the ground painfully. Rin sat on her hands and knees as the demon advanced on her before she swiftly swung around taking the un-expecting demons head off.

"Enough," the boar growled before kicking the sword from her. He grabbed her by the hair dragging her up the stairs and out of the dungeon area. Kohaku quickly and quietly snuck out as well.

--

Sesshomaru stood uncomfortably sniffing the air. Why hadn't Hayai just gone and found the actual location of Naraku? How did he let himself get fooled. These tracks led to somewhere totally different. Inuyasha watched his brother intrigued in what he was doing. Inuyasha couldn't understand why he was doing this after all. Was it some vengeful thing for Kagura or to prove something? It certainly was not for Inuyasha and his little group.

"Why are you doing this?" Inuyasha asked looking at his older brother. Sesshomaru did not turn to answer, and if he had his look would have remained one of annoyance of his brother.

"Not for you," Sesshomaru growled before following the scent of Rin's items. Inuyasha just smirked.

"Obviously not because I would never except your help," Inuyasha said before crossing his arms as he followed behind his brother, "so then who are you doing this for? What's your beef with Naraku? Are you trying to prove yourself better then a pathetic hanyou? Are you getting revenge for Kagura…"

"Don't say her name," Sesshomaru growled finally turning to look at his brother, "she was in the past."

"Is someone a little touchy about it?" Inuyasha mocked his older brother obviously getting a kick out of it.

"No," Sesshomaru turned, "I'm doing it for Rin. Kagura was the past it is Rin who has been with me. She is mine to protect. Not that I need to answer to the likes of you…"

"So then what's going on between…" before he could finish Sesshomaru interrupted.

"Do you always talk so much?" Sesshomaru snapped losing his cool with his brother, "I am trying to find Rin and all you can do is ask me RIDICULOUS questions that are none of your business."

"No," Inuyasha said laughing inside at how easily love made his brother a target, "I thought all hanyou and humans are pathetic."

"They are," Sesshomaru said walking up the hill feeling heat. Inuyasha just smirked again.

"So then why are you going out of your way for a pathetic human?" Inuyasha teased loving every moment of making his brother irritated.

"Watch it, brother," Sesshomaru warned, "Rin is different…"

"How so if she were to be your mate and have your pups…" Inuyasha started getting all saracastic, "they would be hanyou…"

"Enough!" Sesshomaru turned around his eyes red as he growled, "if I didn't need you I would kill you right here as you stand."

"You could try, brother," Inuyasha said placing his hand on his sword. Sesshomaru was about to give in when Hayai showed up with a piece of her outfit.

"Sibling rivalry? I can feel the heat… however the trail leads this way Lord Sesshomaru," Hayai said as Inuyasha loosened up and released the hilt of the Tetsusaiga. Together they journeyed up hill following the scent on her fallen items.

--

The day was advancing to night and the camp was unnerved by everything going on. They waited for Halder's plans of attack which seemed to be held up by Halder who had been resting. Night slowly began to fill the camp as Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had been gone for a little while. Kagome slept trying to not disturb the sleeping baby inside of her. Sango stayed with Miroku who faked he wasn't hurt that bad.

Sagoe walked out looking down the hill to where the trail that would lead them to where they needed to go. How had things gotten so crazy? How did she sit there and nearly let them kill the one she loved and her brother? What had happened to Rin? Would Sesshomaru ever bring her back? If he did would Halder still take Rin as his wife… so many things plagued her mind.

"Sagoe?" a man's voice caught her attention making her spin around and see Halder.

"Shouldn't you be planning your next moves?" Sagoe asked used to him so often using that as an excuse.

"I should be back there I realized that my life had been so sheltered, I had been so bent on not letting myself stay in on place afraid to be hurt. But what's most important in life is the ones we have in our life, and the possibility of losing them," Halder said standing beside her. She looked lovely in her long red dress which fit well and helped her golden hair stand out. Halder was wearing a green outfit he had picked up on his travels. His long brown hair matched his golden eyes. Sagoe looked over at him catching his golden eyes with her silver ones… their eyes locked and shared a moment that neither knew possible. Sagoe broke it not wanting to interfere with Halder and Rin, "What bothers you?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to fight…" Sagoe changed the subject as he looked at her with intrigued interested eyes. He had a dream that he couldn't let go.

"Sagoe you are a healer your not meant to fight," Halder said trying to soothe her worries, "I still love you the same."

"What?" Sagoe asked hastily. Halder realized what he said and smiled at her.

"I thought you knew that already," Halder stated before laughing, "since we were children…"

"Stop," Sagoe said not wanting to hear anymore, "enough."

"What are you telling me you don't love me back?" Halder asked taking her by the hand.

"No, I mean yes… I do, but…" Sagoe held a hand to her mouth as she tried to express herself.

"But what?" he asked before taking her hand from her mouth and pulling her to him kissing her lips. Sagoe fell into it for a moment as his hand met her face.

"Rin," she said before pulling away and looking up at him, "you engaged to Rin. I will not be the woman on the side."

"I know Sagoe… this is all unexpected for me," Halder said taking her hand, "I care about Rin…"

"There you go then," Sagoe said turning around as he grabbed her arm turning her towards him.

"But I've loved you," Halder said looking down at her, "so tell me right now you don't love me…"

"I can't," Sagoe said trying to pull away, "it doesn't matter you've made a commitment to Rin."

"I know but she…" Halder paused and looked at her, "I'm sure she would… not understand. It would surely cause a war between Sesshomaru and I."

"I doubt that one," Sagoe said thinking of Sesshomaru, "it's about honor. You need to talk to her about it first. Besides we both know I wouldn't be to take up queen… she makes the people happy."

"Sagoe it doesn't matter," Halder said as she pulled from his grip and shook her head no.

"If it is meant to be then it will be," Sagoe said before walking off to look after her patience. Halder stood there under the moonlight watching Sagoe's form disappear as he began to think about the situation. Rin who was beautiful and Sesshomaru's ward so that would make them allies (so he thinks) and she did make the people happy. They enjoyed her they wanted her as their queen. They had known Sagoe for years, she was not queen material… she was ordinary and worked in the castle. But Sagoe made HIM happy, and he loved her.

--

Rin squirmed in the large boars hands as he dragged her through the chambers higher and higher up until they entered a throne room. Rin gasped as he threw her to the ground which was burning hot to her skin. Rin slowly began to look up the floor was decorated with the red and black tiles to keep the ground from burning anyone. Rin went tense keeping her eyes down as she resumed her position when the sound of heavy footsteps filled the room.

"So…" a deep voice Rin remembered mostly in her darkest dreams. Rin dared glancing up at the more then amused hanyou, "this is the great Sesshomaru Lord of the Western Lands' greatest and only weakness? A pathetic human…"

"Yes milord," the boar demon seemed so cowardly compared to the way he just was moments before Naraku had entered the throne room.

"Hmmm," Naraku said walking to her, "get up." Naraku was shocked when Rin did not obey his command, "are you not unaccustomed to respecting those higher then someone as lowly as yourself?"

"You are no one but a fake, and I am soon to be queen. I listen to no one," Rin said not looking up at him.

"Then why are you on your knees human?" Naraku growled getting dangerously close to her.

"Because I am honoring the memory of my lord. Not the likes of you," Rin said breathing heavily as she thought of her lover, "I will die honorably for him…"

"Die? No not yet you aren't," Naraku said grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet, "I will use you to destroy the great Inuyoukai. If you are his greatest weakness, then you are my greatest strength. With the downfall of Sesshomaru everyone will fear me…"

"Not Inuyasha he has a settle to score with you Naraku," Rin glared at him.

"Aren't you a feisty one, aren't you that little brat who followed Sesshomaru around like a sick puppy dog?" Naraku said gripping her upper arm tightly as she leaned away from him. The boar demon laughed making Naraku look to him with a wicked glare, "silence. Seems like Sesshomaru is as pathetic as his father and his pathetic hanyou half brother…"

"Are you not a pathetic hanyou yourself?" Rin said before his hand quickly released her and crossing her face hard making her fling back into the floor with a thud. Rin slowly sat up clenching her teeth before raising her hand to her very red cheek which was stinging painfully. Rin flinched when her hand met her cheek painfully, he hit her rather hard… but she would not cry even though her eyes were pricking and stinging with a sensation that normally brought tears to her chocolate brown orbs, "I thought so."

"You will pay for such an insult," Naraku spat making her flinch once more as he walked towards her the earth trembling making poor Rin feel uneasy.

"Let go!" Rin screamed as he grabbed her arm lifting her up and looking at her with a vengeful stare that spoke a million terrifying bloody words.

Authors note: I realized that I had been writing too much so I decided to cut it off at ten pages so I have a page to work with to get one more quick chapter up before I go camping not tomorrow but the following day. So tomorrow I work though… so I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you to my reviewers your reviews got me to post this chapter!


	28. Sacrifice's: Sesshomaru's strength

**Chapter 28**: Sacrifices: Sesshomaru's strength… 

"There… her scent is fading but she is around here," Sesshomaru said almost spilling his relief on his face, "I think she is still alive…"

"She is I am sure of it," Hayai said reassuring his long time partner. Sesshomaru nodded before looking around, "but the question is where?"

"I think I have an idea," Inuyasha growled spotting something way up on a volcano, "that volcano was a cave entrance right there…"

"Sesshomaru!" Hayai yelled as Sesshomaru took off after them afraid he would be even a second too late. Inuyasha ran after him being passed up swiftly by Hayai who was at the top where the Cave entrance was before even Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru was there at his side briefly and together they entered Inuyasha still barely catching up. That was when he realized how much difference there REALLY was between a Hanyou and a Youkai.

Together the group walked through the cave following it down to a large iron door. Inuyasha looked at Sesshomaru uncertain, but Sesshomaru had no hesitation when it came to Rin. He loved her, and he wished he hadn't waited until there was someone else involved. He let out a sigh that Hayai hadn't caught, but Inuyasha did. He knew what was on his brothers mind, and that was why without precaution he swung open the iron door. But if Inuyasha didn't know better, Naraku was expecting Sesshomaru… that was why he took Rin.

"Easy now brother," Inuyasha said more encouragingly then usual. Sesshomaru just ignored him and pushed the door the rest of the way open before walking in to emptiness. Rows and rows of rooms were there, and any could have held Rin. Or worst she was with Naraku.

"It's alright Lord Sesshomaru I have a good sense of direction," Hayai said before walking down one of the three halls. Now Rin's life was in the hands of a Cheetah youkai. Sesshomaru was a little hesitant and wanted to split up, but that would pose too much of a threat… he needed to get to Naraku unharmed and un-winded.

"He's right I can smell the bastard down this way," Inuyasha snarled folding his fingers together in a ball that showed his very OBVIOUS detest for the hanyou.

"I can smell him as well, but he's been in every part of this forsaken place… his scent is everywhere," Sesshomaru said making a good point.

"Yeah but his scent is much stronger down this way," Hayai said before throwing in, "milord."

"That doesn't mean he is down here Hayai. That could mean he lives down this way and spends most of his time there. He could be on another part of the castle," Sesshomaru growled before he heard a noise that caught his ears. _Rin_ Sesshomaru breathed as the others stopped hearing her cries also.

--

"Let go!" Rin screamed as Naraku dragged her angrily, "Let go now!"

"Who are you to demand of me wench!" Naraku yelled slamming her up against the hot wall. Rin's eyes squinted in pain as she kicked around her legs dangling both his hands gripping the front of her dress. She opened her eyes hearing the dress tare as she noticed three figures far down the hallway.

"Sesshomaru," Rin whimpered making Naraku turn around to see the three walking down the way.

"How did they find here so fast! You… how?" he growled angrily as Rin let out a scream to let them know she was there. They all began to run up before Naraku dropped her and began dragging her.

"RIN!" Sesshomaru yelled frantically as he watched her disappear down another dimly lit hallway, "RIN!!"

"Guards!" Naraku yelled in anger. His plans hadn't even been set into motion yet. All he could do was slam the door and scream out profanities and curses. He angrily shoved Rin to the floor of the large room which happened to be a platform over the middle of the volcano. Rin looked over at the edge which had no ledge and led straight into the hot smoldering red volcanic magma.

"Release me now!" Rin yelled feeling braver with Sesshomaru following behind her, she had feared perhaps he wouldn't have even known she was missing. But Inuyasha was with her lover.

"I will use you against Sesshomaru," Naraku said walking towards her again, "and you will help me…"

"I would die before I help you!" Rin yelled before standing up to face him. Anger was growing richly on his some what human like face, "I am not afraid to die…"

"You shouldn't be, but you should be afraid of what I will do to you before you die," Naraku grinned evilly making Rin glare at him with semi watery eyes.

"I am not afraid of you," Rin snarled as Naraku's men poured out the doors and more guarded it so Sesshomaru couldn't enter, so they thought, "Sesshomaru will slaughter your men and get in here…"

"Oh I plan on it," Naraku smiled with wickedness Rin's skin began to crawl.

--

"Sesshomaru there is too many!" Hayai said as men began to pour through the doors and running to them and behind them. With ease Sesshomaru extended his whip from his hand destroying those in his way before pulling out Tokijin and letting loose an attack. Inuyasha decided to stay behind with Hayai to keep the youkai from coming up behind Sesshomaru when he dealt with Naraku.

"I will stay with you! Sesshomaru go we will be in shortly!" Inuyasha yelled pulling out Tetsusaiga before letting loose his own attacks as he began to fight individually the hundreds of demons crowding in through the narrow hallway.

Sesshomaru fought his way through the hallway to get to the door before letting loose his green acid whip spilling youkai blood over the stone floor. The blood began to boil on the hot pavement, but Sesshomaru did not think on it… only of getting to Rin. He quickly got past the door seeing Naraku grabbing Rin holding her up in front of him.

"Run Sesshomaru! Please!" Rin screamed unable to imagine Sesshomaru falling because of her. She did not want to be his weakness, nor his down fall.

"Rin," Sesshomaru breathed lowering his weapon as he watched Naraku smiling wickedly, "Naraku you coward release Rin! She has nothing to do with this!"

"Your wrong," Naraku laughed making Rin shiver feeling his demonic aura pulsing against her.

"Leave me Sesshomaru! Go! Fight another day!" Rin screamed as Naraku's hand closed tighter around Rin's throat making her gasp for air as she clawed at his long clawed hands.

"Shut up," Naraku growled nearly strangling her. Sesshomaru moved in attack before Naraku raised his own weapon up to Rin's throat.

"I'm so sorry," Rin cried making Sesshomaru shake smelling an over whelming whiff of fear coming from Rin. Was she really ready to die? Over him? He couldn't allow the only person who ever really loved him and would have done anything for him die on his account.

"Stop crying Rin," Sesshomaru demanded as he held his sword up in anger.

"Be careful Sesshomaru," he said pushing the sword closer to her throat. Rin tried pushing back further but all she found was the painful spiky armor as the smell of blood filled the air where the sharp sword broke her skin. Sesshomaru winced closing his eye feeling his body want to fight to strike out, but his heart screaming that Rin was in the way.

"Release her now and fight me you coward!" Sesshomaru was losing his edge.

"Surrender yourself for her life," Naraku said wondering whether Sesshomaru would make such a selfless act for a human girl.

"NO!!" Rin screamed out fighting against Naraku and the blade ignoring the pain of the blade cutting her flesh and more blood spilling out on her.

"Rin stop!" Sesshomaru yelled feeling so hopeless. Rin struggled a little then stopped before feeling hopeless.

"Is it a deal Sesshomaru?" Naraku asked squeezing her arm making her wince in pain. Sesshomaru was losing it he couldn't stand what she was going through, "she will be completely free to go."

"No! Don't please I plead of you!" Rin cried out losing the feeling of her legs.

"Stop moving!" Naraku yelled shaking her a moment getting frustrated with the intolerable girl, "she's a feisty one Sesshomaru. It would be such a great shame to lose something so…"

"Damn it! Damn you Naraku," Sesshomaru growled, "I will take the deal… what do you want of me."

"Toss your weapon to me," Naraku said glaring evilly in triumph as he watched Sesshomaru throw his weapon defenselessly to Naraku. He glanced up to see a broken hearted Rin, "I want her to watch as I absorb you…"

"You said she would be free to go Naraku," Sesshomaru growled as he tossed Rin forward.

"She will be after I assure you are dead," Naraku said walking towards him. Sesshomaru glanced at Rin who watched him in horror. Sesshomaru blinked feeling everything going in slow motion as he watched Naraku come and extend his hand slashing out at Sesshomaru wounding him terribly. Rin gasped in horror as Sesshomaru fell to his knees Rin's screams ran through his head as he looked up at Naraku then looking to Rin and smiling. He closed his eyes seeing better moments as he smelt the smell of blood and fell something fall onto him. He opened his eyes uncertain of what happened. Rin sat on her knees before him and an angry Naraku stood behind her his long claws deep inside of Rin's back and coming out through the other end of her chest.

"Sesshomaru go," Rin said as Naraku pulled his hand out of her back and back to normal as she fell forward onto Sesshomaru chest. Sesshomaru looked to Naraku and then to Rin a tear falling from his eye as Rin fell into his arms. Sesshomaru let out a cry that made Naraku feel fear for the first time ever. Gently Sesshomaru touched her cheek holding her close before jumping up to his feet his eyes red and watery as he walked angrily towards Naraku.

Inuyasha ran into the room to help out Naraku and saw Rin laying on the ground bleeding profusely. Inuyasha gasped knowing the pain his brother was feeling, but didn't know how to help. All he knew was that he had never seen such a look in Sesshomaru's eyes. Naraku wisely picked up his own weapon before kicking Sesshomaru's far away.

"Take Rin out of here," Sesshomaru growled to Inuyasha.

"But Sesshomaru your hurt," Inuyasha said watching Sesshomaru cowering over the girl.

"I don't care! Where is Hayai! Get Rin OUT of here!" Sesshomaru growled as Naraku moved towards the only door. Sesshomaru was up on his feet with speed Rin in his one arm as he made his way to Inuyasha.

"Hayai is out fighting off the other demons he told me to come and help you," Inuyasha said as he took Rin in his arms. Sesshomaru looked down feeling sad as he touched her face and then looking away trying to hold back his rage as Naraku began to laugh.

"Has the great Sesshomaru found the same pathetic weakness as his deceased father and pathetic half brother?" Naraku wickedly watched Sesshomaru glare at him as Inuyasha watched with Rin still in his arms.

"Leave NOW!" Sesshomaru growled hoping Rin could be saved, "save her… please."

"Alright," Inuyasha said watching his brother able to finally understand his brother did have a heart after all. He knew Sesshomaru would find in time his love was what would save him. Inuyasha then turned and left out the door pulling the Tetsusaiga out of his sheath and fighting with one hand the best he could, "HAYAI!"

"Inuyasha!" Hayai yelled at the top of his lungs. He could see Inuyasha struggling… but where was Sesshomaru?

"I have Rin!" Inuyasha yelled as they fought their way to each other, "I was told to get her out of here."

"We can't leave him," Hayai yelled as the girl bled profusely on Inuyasha, "she won't live long…"

"She is the only thing keeping Sesshomaru sane, we cant let her die Hayai. Help me get her out of here," Inuyasha said as they slowly fought their way down the hall, "here take her…"

"What?!" Hayai yelled as Inuyasha pushed the girl into his arms.

"Your faster then me she needs help now. I will go back and help Sesshomaru," Inuyasha said when the small human girl was finally in the cheetah demons arms. Inuyasha then let loose one of his biggest attacks killing any youkai or creature in its way, "now go!"

"Be careful Inuyasha and good luck. Your not as bad as Sesshomaru has said," Hayai chuckled before running with the girl at super fast speed.

'_Yeah well he's still as bad as I remember. Except now he understands humanly emotions which makes him no better then I or our father,_' Inuyasha thought before running off back to the room where Sesshomaru was releasing one of his attacks. Naraku was weakest at this moment, he had not expected their presence so soon. This was perfect Naraku was being entertained by Sesshomaru he hadn't even noticed Inuyasha come in, "Bakuryūha!!"

"What the…" Naraku turned as the attack hit him making him call out in pain as he was attacked by the attack scent from the Tetsusaiga.

"Sōryūha!!" Sesshomaru angrily released the power of his sword Tokijin to combined with his half brothers VERY powerful attack Bakuryūha. Naraku squealed as his body was torn into many pieces but as he exploded he let out an attack of his own which cut through Sesshomaru's chest and stomach. The wound was large, but Sesshomaru only glanced at it before falling to the ground.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha yelled before running to his brother. Sesshomaru pushed Inuyasha away, but after thinking about ditching his older brother there to die… he realized that there was another person involved, Rin. Inuyasha grabbed his brother's arm lifting him and wrapping his arm around his neck. Sesshomaru only growled before excepting the help out of that disgusting place.

--

"A little longer Sesshomaru," Inuyasha huffed and puffed carrying the weight of his brother when someone scent caught Inuyasha's nose.

"There is a boy," Sesshomaru huffed every word feeling his body trying to heal itself, but unable to.

"I smell him, KOHAKU!" Inuyasha yelled knowing Sango would want her brother back finally.

"Inu… yasha?" Kohaku asked as he walked out from behind a tree, "did you find Rin?"

"Don't, say her name…" Sesshomaru winced after growling to the boy. He didn't realize who the boy was until the smell brought memories to his mind.

"I need your help Kohaku," Inuyasha said trying to hand Sesshomaru over to Kohaku. The boy shook his head no and Inuyasha understood that Sesshomaru was pretty intimidating, "just watch over him while I go and get help. I will be FAST."

"Alright," Kohaku nodded as Inuyasha set down Sesshomaru.

"Hold on Sesshomaru Kohaku will look after you. I will be back shortly and then you can return to Rin," Inuyasha said as he stood up.

"Tell her… I love her," Sesshomaru breathed feeling his body shut down, "and I did it. I did it… I secured her future."

"Hang on damn it!" Inuyasha yelled before running off super fast breathing heavy with anticipation.

--

"Halder?" Sagoe said startled when he appeared in front of her, "you frightened me my lord."

"I'm sorry Sagoe," Halder said looking at her, "if I made you uncomfortable with me. You are right I care deeply for Rin she would make a great queen… and, I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"Oh," Sagoe said watching as he placed a hand out to shake her hand. She had hoped he would fight for her, "right…"

"Good," he said smiling charmingly at her as she placed her hand in his and he pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly. Sagoe let out a tear before they came crashing down, she had not yet told Halder that Rin had been brought in moments ago, "why are you crying Sagoe?"

"I'm so sorry," Sagoe cried pulling away from him, "it's Rin…"

"What about her?" Halder asked getting annoyed swinging her around to face him, "they just brought her in. I am trying to treat her but the injuries are serious."

"What?" Halder asked in shock, "where is she? We must not waste time…"

'I knew he loved her,' Sagoe thought her eyes getting watery before pointing to a tent not saying a word. Halder did not say a thing to her as he walked down the grassy path of the large camp until he found Rin's tent. He swung the flap open and watched the girl laying on the bed covered with a white sheet. The white sheet was severely covered with blood that poured from her wounds. He walked closer to her touching her forehead which was on fire, and yet her hands were so cold…

"She's fading," a nurse walked in with Sagoe behind her. Sagoe did not raise her eyes from the floor.

"I'm so sorry milord I am trying," Sagoe said when she caught his gaze on her.

"Fix her!" Halder yelled before walking out of the tent unable to see the mess laying before him.

--

"Halder my lord!" A guard youkai with long black hair and purple eyes caught the hanyou prince's attention.

"What is it Aijirou?" Halder asked his hand at the temple of his head.

"Master Inuyasha has come asking your assistance. Lord Sesshomaru has been severely injured," Aijirou said bowing before pointing to where Inuyasha had been standing impatiently. Halder made his way slowly to where Inuyasha stood pacing back and forth.

"Inuyasha? So you have returned," Halder said respectfully, "I heard your brother has taken injury?"

"Yes and he needs your help! I can't carry him on my own! We must hurry!" Inuyasha said feeling way to antsy for his liking.

"Alright well let us get a carriage hooked together and we will go to him," Halder said calmly making Inuyasha get angry.

"That's not good enough damn it! He needs help NOW!" Inuyasha said losing it.

"I will go," Sagoe said looking to the boys, "I know Rin would wish it of me. Gracie is already preparing the horses…"

"No not your Sagoe…" Halder started saying as he walked towards her. Inuyasha then caught the glimpse in Halder's eye, the same that was caught in Inuyasha's eye for Kagome and in Sesshomaru's eye for Rin.

"I am sorry my lord but this I must do," Sagoe said bowing respectfully, "she would wish to see him should one of them die. They need their goodbyes."

"Sagoe," he said not catching on to the fact that she was hinting they loved each other the way she loved Halder, "I will come then…"

"Are you sure my lord?" Sagoe broke in making Halder nod his head. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"Feh! Can't we get a move on it!" Inuyasha started running back in the direction of Sesshomaru and Kohaku. Sagoe grabbed one of their well bred horses followed by Gracie on her own as well pulling Ingwë Rin's gray stallion with her.

--

"You're the brat who tried to kill Rin," Sesshomaru gasped as the boy glanced at him uncomfortably, "I would have killed you…"

"But I didn't hurt her. I was under a spell. She has been a good friend," Kohaku said glaring at Sesshomaru, "it is you who let her end up in that place…"

"Silence yourself human," Sesshomaru growled before looking away. Kohaku did as he was demanded.

"She is a human also," Kohaku said hugging his knees. Sesshomaru shot him a warning glare.

"What of it?" Sesshomaru growled holding in his pain.

"She belongs with humans," Kohaku said looking at him, "someone who won't endanger her life…"

"Enough," Sesshomaru said turning his head, "I offered her that many times… but she chose to stay. Until…"

"Until what?" Kohaku said glaring at the demon lord, "what did you do to her?"

"It's none of your business boy," Sesshomaru growled, "but she is going to stay with her hanyou fiancé. Not that it is in of your business either."

"Hmmm," Kohaku said watching the handsome lord. It had been several hours and the bleeding hadn't stopped. _Where is Inuyasha?_ Kohaku wondered before letting out a sigh.

"You are uneasy," Sesshomaru said smelling his uneasiness. It was making him sicker, "they are almost here…"

"I'd ask how you know, but I already know. I spent enough time with your kind," Kohaku said having a normal hatred for Youkai. Not only was it in his blood to exterminate them, but he had had a pretty bad experience with them recently. Not many treated him any good, in fact there weren't any full fledged demons he liked.

"I don't like your kind as much as you don't like mine," Sesshomaru said wanting to pick a fight to get his worried mind off of Rin.

"Then why is Rin around?" Kohaku said hitting a nerve.

"Say her name again and I will tare your throat out," Sesshomaru said easily with a growl.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha yelled as he ran beside the fast paced horses. They were trained to be handled by demons so they feared little, especially the gray stallion trotting proudly beside her.

"There he is! Hayai go help him up," Inuyasha said as Hayai made his way to Sesshomaru. The gray stallion nickered as Hayai helped the great lord of the Western Lands up on the magnificent beast. Sesshomaru snarled knowing he actually needed help.

_Yeah but I beat Naraku_, Sesshomaru thought to himself. After all those man years worrying about Rin, they were finally over. But so were the days he would miss of her picking flowers and giving them to him. Of them traveling together, she would now soon be a bride. _Rin,_ he thought as he balanced magnificently on top of the blue gray dappled stallion.

_Sesshomaru… I need you_, Rin whispered into the breeze making Ingwë snarl before prance bouncing on his front feet trying to get away from Gracie.

"Stop it! Bad Sesken!" Gracie said saying his human given name which he hated. The horse pulled on the lead rope nearly pulling the fragile woman off her own horse as he took off towards the camp. Sesshomaru clung on using all of his youkai special abilities to summon the strength to hang on.

Sesshomaru jumped off hastily grabbing at his wound when the horse finally stopped next to a tent in the middle of the campsite. Sesshomaru looked at the horse as it pawed at the earth towards the tent. Sesshomaru looked at the horse once more before looking at the tent. A woman walked out nearly falling back in surprise of the bleeding youkai in front of her.

"Lord… Lord Sesshomaru?" the older healer said looking at him double checking, "your hurt. You must seek medical attention my lord…"

"What is in this tent?" Sesshomaru asked already able to smell her scent. He didn't need to hear it, so he pushed pass the woman into the tent where Rin lay covered in blood, dirt, and suet from the smoke of the cave, "Rin…"

"Sess…" was all she could manage to crackle as she looked over to Sesshomaru wealkly, "Sessho…m…ar… u."

"Silence Rin do not strain yourself I am here with you now," he said feeling his own body failing him. He sat beside her as she opened her eyes hazily unable to make out his face.

"I can't see you," Rin cried as she reached out at his figure. His hand found hers, "I'm so sorry…"

"Enough Rin," he said feeling a lump rise in his throat.

"Your hurt," Rin said focusing her eyes and seeing all the blood and flesh hanging from his chest.

"I will heal within time," Sesshomaru said stroking her hair, "I am going to leave now. I will be back later."

"No," Rin cried out making him look down at her hearing her faint heart beat.

"Rin you will be fine," Sesshomaru demanded more then questioned, _please be alright._

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru, I can't… it hurts," Rin cried gripping at his sleeve, "I can't hold on any longer…"

"Rin no you need to stay with me you need to be strong… for your future husband," Sesshomaru said making Rin turn her head from him and cry.

"Sesshomaru," she cried taking her hand from him. Of all things to say at that moment, "I only stayed long enough to see you one last time…"

"Don't say that you will be fine," he said calmly not faltering even though his heart fluttered rapidly, "your body will heal…"

"You need not lie to me my lord. My body is broken, it was broken before this wound… it can't hold on any longer. If it weren't for my hearts will to see you again once more it would have given up long ago," Rin said her voice cracking, "I… love you."

"Don't say it like it's goodbye," Sesshomaru said angrily, "tell me you love me. But tell me it like it won't be the…"

"Tell me you love me," Rin said softly her hand squeezing at his sleeve.

"Rin I will not until… you will be fine," Sesshomaru said not looking down at her. He heard a soft plop and realized she was not gripping his sleeve anymore, "Rin?" he asked before turning to look at her. He couldn't hear a heart beat, her eyes were closed, and her face was paler then normal, "Rin?!" He stood up shaking her a little and when she didn't stir he knew she was gone. "Rin…?" he said softly before his breaths got heavy, "RIN!!"

--

A loud voice rang through the forest catching the group off guard knowing it was Sesshomaru. Then with it the sound of screams and then explosions this time in the forest. Trees were flying from their rooted place in the ground or being sliced in half. Inuyasha knew it was his brother. Sagoe swallowed nervously behind Halder. It was coming towards them.

"Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha asked when Sesshomaru appeared in front of them blood covering his white uniform. Deep breaths made his chest heave in and out heavily as he glared at them with red eyes, "Rin…"

"You," Sesshomaru growled pointing at Halder and Sagoe, "you failed to heal her! Why! Why were you not back there healing her!"

"Sesshomaru no!" Inuyasha yelled leaping into the air catching Sesshomaru's blade with his own. Sesshomaru did not care who he fought, but something would die… something would pay. Sesshomaru with a vengeance and fury driven by hate and loss nearly took Inuyasha's life as he let loose an attack he hadn't expected.

"Enough!" Sagoe cried out catching Sesshomaru's attention again. Halder jumped off his horse pulling out his weapon ready to defend Sagoe.

"Enough Sesshomaru it isn't her fault Rin was injured and died," Halder said sadly but not the way Sesshomaru felt Halder should as her fiancé.

"You! You defend her!" Sesshomaru was losing it as he watched the man supposed to take his place so uncaringly use Rin's name.

"Rin is gone and killing anyone else won't bring her back! Give it up! You can not win it's over!" Halder yelled angrily making Sagoe place a hand to her mouth as Sesshomaru's face grew into one of complete emotion and his breaths got rapid and heavy. Inuyasha backed up ready to run. Sesshomaru had a red and pulse surround him constantly pulsing as his he began breathing harder and harder complete anger and range controlling him. He let out a yell to cover his tears as an explosion erupted from where he stood sending them all flying as well trees and chunks of earth.

Inuyasha slowly sat up grabbing his head as he looked to where Sesshomaru stood on his knees his back slumped and his hair covering his face. Inuyasha stared in wonder and disbelief. Was Sesshomaru fully healed? Was that his missing arm… back in it's place? Inuyasha took some steps forward towards his brother. Sesshomaru stayed there in that position.

"Why her?" Sesshomaru asked knowing who it was without looking, "it was supposed to be me…"

"It wasn't your fault. It happens," Inuyasha said looking to his brother, "I don't think it was meant to be you to die…"

"It was supposed to be me!" Sesshomaru yelled looking up at Inuyasha his normally purple markings pulsing red as his heard beat rapidly in his chest, "it was meant for me… that blow. Why… why did she…"

"Did she sacrifice herself for you?" Inuyasha asked curious at such a selfless act.

"I was sacrificing myself for her… and she did it any ways. Why? So foolish…" Sesshomaru said not showing his watery eyes to his brother, "foolish thing those humans…"

"She did it out of love," Inuyasha said uneasy with talking to his brother as if they actually didn't dislike each other, "she wasn't being foolish. She was giving her life in exchange for yours… because she loved you."

"How do I go on without her?" Sesshomaru whispered, "where did I go wrong?"

"No Sesshomaru… it's," there was no arguing with his brother, "we should get back to camp Sesshomaru."

"Go without me I will come back later," Sesshomaru said looking at the hand that wasn't there before. Was it her sacrifice that gave him back his arm? The arm that he could never use to hold her… "do not burry her before I get back. I need a moment."

"Yes, brother," Inuyasha said walking off to tell the others of his plan.

--

Sesshomaru sat gazing at the moon feeling at his arm as he thought about Rin. How would he get through this life without her? How was he going to survive without her sweet smile and laughter. He had never cried before… he had never felt the weird stinging sensation he felt in his eyes. Not even when his father died.

'_Rin I am so sorry…_' Sesshomaru thought as he paced through the forest before slicing at a tree releasing some more of his built up pain as the realization of it all began to sink in. She was gone, she was really gone…

_Rin I am so sorry I let you down. Did I disappoint you? Should I be feeling guilty? I couldn't see the end… I thought I had won. I took your soul out into the night, it may be over… but it won't stop there Rin. You touched my heart, you touched my soul, you changed my life and all my goals. My heart was blinded by you. I kissed your lips, I held your hand, I shared you dreams, and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend… you have been the one, you have been the one for me…_ Sesshomaru stared at the stars wondering if she could hear his thoughts, _Rin… I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it… I thought you'd, Rin… my Rin. When I wake Rin, realize its my dreams you took with you. As you move onto the next life remember me, remember us, and all we used to be. I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile, I've watched you sleeping for awhile. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears, and you know mine. We had our doubts, and I love you I swear that's true I cannot live with out you. I will still hold your hand in mine when I am asleep, and I will bare my soul in time when I am kneeling at your feet. I'm so hollow, I'm so.. I'm so, hollow. Goodbye my Rin… my lover, my world, my everything. _

Authors note: (READ ESPECIALLY IF YOUR MAD) Alright all I know that was sad and probably corny at the end when I threw in some Jame's blunt and mixed around to something different with the same thing almost. But it totally suited them at the moment. Anywho DON'T hate me or get mad at me! I have plans it isn't over but it is going to get tricky… and a lot of angst. So leave me some comments and let me know what you think I hope you all enjoyed it regardless. I will be gone for 5 days! I am going to b out camping far away from a computer so I will begin the next chapter and then finish it when I get home… alright? There is probably about three chapters maybe four left. ) stay tuned and DON'T STOP READING. I promise Rin will come back! I shouldn't have let it slip but I don't want you guys mad at me. )


	29. Like a heart needs a beat

**Chapter 29: **Like a heart needs a beat…

Authors note: SO I didn't get an early start as I hoped, I had to hurry and pack so I am now starting it. My goal is to get it up tomorrow but thank you to those who reviewed. It made me more then excited to get started on this chapter. Thank you very much my readers! Special thanks to

OneWorld-OneDream: Yes poor Rin… but at the same time Brave Rin. Poor Sesshy poo his feelings are really brought out into the open for everyone. The only one he cares about, and the only one to ever really show him REAL love and affection just died for him and he wasn't able to stop it or bring her back? Talk about powerless aye?

Sesshomaru420: Sorry to make you so sad and leave it there! I had to leave something some what unforgettable for the moment. I am glad you liked it! But I am back and here it goes, I am not even going to check it (as usual) so I can just get it up to you!

Mistress Ayako: Your review made me laugh and smile. That's funny you called someone at your camp Sagoe… I hope they didn't take too much offense to it. Yes vent I understand… and Halder is an well to say it plainly some what of an ass. But he is just very confused, (remember he doesn't know about Sesshomaru and Rin) so he thinks if he just leaves her for Sagoe, which would be unacceptable, Sesshomaru would surely kill him or attack his city. Anywho thank you for your comment, but yes perhaps Sagoe deserves someone better… but we love who we love. As Rin and Kagome has shown D thank you much for your reviews! They keep me going!

Thanks guys! I appreciate all the support! It really keeps my story alive!

Rin lay on the table cold and lifeless as an orange red pulse came fluttering through. The healers screamed and hid as the warm pulse shook the room and Rin's bed. Rin's arm twitched as her heart let out a tiny beat. One of the nurses witnessed standing up slowly making her way to inspect the body. The others watched her as they crouched hiding from the previous red pulses being sent their way. Even though the glowing red pulses had gone away still a red aura enveloped Rin… the deepest sadness radiated off of it.

_Rin…_ something whispered to her as she wondered the lonely field towards a pathway where many others met up to walk the lonely white paved road. Rin inspected the weeping people as she got onto the road. They were all translucent… like herself. That was when Rin realized she was dead, tears flooded her eyes like the others… she could feel their pain. So many things were left unsaid.

"Sesshomaru," Rin cried as she inspected her hand standing in the road as others watched her passing by.

"This way child," an older man said trying to coax her to follow. Rin could not speak through her tears all she could do was cry and shake her head no, "there is no going back. We must go face judgment… this is no place to stay."

"I'm not ready," Rin said as she looked back at where she had awaken when her body had fallen incredibly limp and the pain went away.

"No one ever is child," the old man said holding out a hand and patting Rin's when she finally hesitantly took it. Together they made their way slowly towards where the giant white light grew larger and larger.

--

Sesshomaru stood in the wind with his eyes closed trying to find her scent anywhere he could. The only images he could see in his head were the ones he had just witnessed as he ignored her final wishes… a simple expression of affection for her sacrifice. Her final sacrifice.

"Damn it!" Sesshomaru spat letting his hand fly taking down another tree which fell down alongside its many destroyed brothers. _Damn it,_ he thought as he turned to see Inuyasha standing off in the distance, "What do you want?"

"We are planning her... the burial," Inuyasha said bravely, since he was the only one brave enough to come collect the very unstable Sesshomaru.

"So soon," Sesshomaru hissed not daring to turn around to reveal his water logged eyes, "her body has barely gone cold…"

"Her body was going cold when I brought her back Sesshomaru. There was nothing they could do," Inuyasha said waiting for an attack.

"It's my fault," Sesshomaru growled more to himself then Inuyasha, "she would still be alive if it weren't for me. If I had told her sooner, she would have never followed me… if I hadn't brought that youkai bitch into the castle she wouldn't have been threatened, if I hadn't made her feel unloved. Perhaps she wouldn't have excepted Halder, and if I hadn't interfered with them… she would have let go and never come after me. If only I didn't close my eyes for that second I would have seen her coming, I would have seen her about to take the attack and I could have…"

"Could have what Sesshomaru? Pushed her out of the way and left her there unprotected for him to do with as he pleased? She loved you enough to be that brave," Inuyasha said a little skeptical of his older brothers emotional out-letting. Sesshomaru had never been so talkative ESPECIALLY to Inuyasha, "she was a woman in love, and she wanted to be worthy of your love."

"I didn't tell her," Sesshomaru growled again closing his eyes crumpling both hands together, "I loved her… before she died. I wanted to believe she would make it… and in my own pride I didn't tell her. I never tell her… until it's too late."

"Well go say your goodbyes before its too late Sesshomaru," Inuyasha turned to leave his brother with his final words. Sesshomaru sighed before glancing back to where his brother once stood. He decided it was time to face the truth, he would go and at least say his goodbyes.

--

The ladies watched as the red glow began to pulse more and more. Another thump in her chest, but no consciousness. They all crowded around her unsure of what to do, would she mysteriously come back to life? Or was she going to remain dead? Was there anything they could do to help her through the struggle?

"Get Sagoe we need all the able hands we can get," the original nurse who had gone to her demanded of a younger nurse.

"Yes mam," the girl bowed and ran off after Sagoe.

"Are you alright?" Sagoe asked Halder who sat in his tent laying his head on his hand. He moved his head to look up at the voice who had caught his attention.

"What are you doing here Sagoe?" Halder asked looking down and away from her. Sagoe looked at him sympathetically.

"I came to check on you milord," Sagoe said knowing he was probably finally getting the full blow of Rin's death.

"You know well that you do not have to call me that at all. You've been a big part of my life for so long Sagoe," Halder sighed, "you are better off without me…"

"Why do you say such things!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "I am safer with you! I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you!"

"Everything around me seems to disappear," Halder said hiding his face from her, "I don't know if I ever loved her Sagoe, but I did care for her. I was afraid of letting anyone close Sagoe, and I don't know… but if I hadn't been so hasty I wouldn't have gotten hurt and…"

"You didn't know it would happen! If you hadn't gone to rescue Soton he would be dead and probably me as well," Sagoe shot out before realizing what she said, "not that our lives are more valuable then Lady Rin's."

"You know your lives mean the world to me there fore I take no offense to that statement," Halder said rubbing his forehead, "I don't know what to do anymore…"

"I know my… I know Halder. I am so sorry for your loss she was an amazing woman," Sagoe said thinking back to her short but some what pleasant time with Rin.

"Yes she was and it is a terrible loss. I would say for what cause, but I know it was for the greater good. Naraku is gone, and now the world is a better place," Halder said as Sagoe walked closer to place a hand on Halder's shoulder.

"You will be a great king," Sagoe said smiling a watery eyed smile at him as he didn't turn his head to look at her only placed his hand on hers.

"You deserve so much that no one is good enough for you," Halder said softly trying to hide the tears in his voice. His heart was being pulled in so many ways.

"Sagoe!" a young woman's voice yelled down the rows of tents. Sagoe turned her head slipping her hand from Halder who did not move from his slumped position.

"Tsumi," Sagoe said loud enough the girl was able to find the tent, "what is it?"

"It's Lady Rin," the girl gasped making Halder spin around to look at them.

"What about her?" Sagoe asked grabbing the girls shoulders.

"I was told to search you out for your assistance Sagoe. It seems there is yet a heartbeat again, although it is faint," the younger healer known as Tsumi panted as Sagoe looked back at Halder who was apparently listening.

"I am on my way," Sagoe nodded to him hoping to ease his pained heart. With speed they began their way towards the tent where Rin's once lifeless body laid in peace.

Sagoe reached the tent and saw Rin's body glowing a bright red color and images of that same aura came back to her thoughts. Apparently it did so to Halder because a look of suspicion and hope rose in his eyes. Sagoe didn't need any other hint… she knew she was hanging on for or because of Sesshomaru.

"Get Sesshomaru," Sagoe commanded Tsumi ignoring Halder's glare.

"No need milady he is coming up the hill," the young girl said pointing as the pulse got higher and her heart beat stronger.

"Is…" Halder didn't know what to say or question. All he knew was that they shared the same red pulse.

"Sesshomaru!" Sagoe yelled looking at Halder who stared at her trying to pry her eyes for answers… but somewhere he hoped for many things, "Sesshomaru!!"

"What," he growled not daring to enter the tent. The pulse hugging Rin got stronger and wilder with his presence.

"It's Rin," Sagoe said finally breaking eye contact with Halder. Halder turned to leave unable to stay and get his hopes up. Sesshomaru looked at her blankly for a moment before taking a step forward and glancing in. Rin's red pulsing aura was lighting up the room, "it grows bigger with every step toward her you make."

"What is it? What are you doing to her?" Sesshomaru asked hopeful but not showing it, "are you hurting her?"

"No Lord Sesshomaru this is all between you two," Sagoe said showing what she meant through her eyes. He looked from her to Rin who still looked lifeless, "perhaps all she needs is a little shove?"

"What is this?" Sesshomaru asked as he took a step forward and the red flashed out blinding everyone in the room but him. He could hear the heart in her chest slowly beating a little. A linger of hope.

"Bring her back Sesshomaru… she thinks she is dead. Bring her back," Sagoe said holding a hand over her eyes to cover them from the brightness.

"Rin," he said as the girls left the room to leave them alone, "wake up Rin."

--

_Wake up Rin,_ whispered throughout the wind. Rin shivered as the breeze made goose bumps.

"Come along child," the old man said patting her hands.

"I can't," Rin said feeling his presence, "he's here I have to find him…"

"It's nothing," the old man said looking around, "no one alive walks this straight my dear."

"Then why do I hear his voice?" Rin asked searching the lonely road through the half living spirits.

--

"Rin," Sesshomaru said touching her arm making it accumulate little bumps, "I walk the streets alone now without you Rin, and I hate being on my own after all the time I spent with you. Everyone can see that I fell and I am going through hell thinking about you somewhere else or with someone else."

--

"No! I can hear him!" she yelled hearing his voice and everything he said to her. She ran pushing past the crowd, "Sesshomaru!"

--

"Sesshomaru," she whispered softly.

"Rin? Talk to me," he said grabbing her hand, "I'm so sorry. How did we go wrong? It was so good and now it's gone. Come back to me Rin. I am tired of praying our paths will cross and that what we had isn't lost… because you are always in my heart and thoughts."

--

"Sesshomaru!" Rin cried out finally stopping her frantic running, "I love you…"

--

"I love you," Rin whispered softly turning her head.

"Rin come back to me!" he said frantically feeling his heart pound as the pulse began to fade, "you will always be in my life even if I am not in your life because your in my memory! I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you left…"

--

"Where are you?" Rin cried out sagging her shoulders frantic to find him. She looked down at her translucent body.

_You when you remember me and before you send me free, listen please. Somebody wants you, somebody needs you… somebody dreams about you every single night. Somebody can't breathe without you its lonely, somebody hopes that someday you will see that somebody is me. That somebody is me Rin… Rin…_ Sesshomaru's words whispered through the air.

"Sesshomaru!!" Rin screamed out franticly feeling her body shake as things became more visible. Her heart reappeared beating wildly in her body.

"He calls for you child," the old man said smiling at her, "your child inside of you is still living… so it is not your time yet. His love for you is too strong for even death this time, and that combined with the child's heart beating inside of you, well, you are being pulled back to life. Go to him…"

"That can't be true I can't be pregnant," Rin said looking at the older man who seemed familiar.

"My dearest granddaughter… as long as I have waited in this place to bring you back to our family I know a thing or two. I can see it there inside of you, so small and just created… it will not be able to be sensed by youkai or hanyou for another month or so. But it is in there…" the old man smiled making her look at him in shock, "as grieved as I am that you will not be joining us, I am happy for you that it is not yet your time. You have much more to live."

"But you're my…" Rin didn't know what to say, "I don't…"

"Do not speak just go," he said pushing her making her hit the ground before waking up in the bed where Sesshomaru blinked down curiously at her.

"Rin?" he asked as she glanced around.

"Grandpa?" she asked looking around before seeing Sesshomaru looking down at her with a confused look on his face.

"No Rin," Sesshomaru said looking down at her his hard expression softening, "it's…"

"Sesshomaru," Rin said grabbing at him painfully wrapping her arms around him. Sesshomaru stared down at her astonished by what happened. He could smell fresh blood and realized just because she was alive didn't mean she was alright.

"You need some medical help," Sesshomaru said turning to leave over whelmed and unable to know what to do, "Sagoe!"

"Yes Lord Sesshomaru," Sagoe ran in from his loud yell.

"She needs treatment. See to it she is alright," Sesshomaru demanded as he walked out and too his tent. On the way he glanced over to see Halder glaring at him. Sesshomaru let it slide this time for he didn't know what to do.

While in his tent Sesshomaru paced for hours waiting for news on Rin. But his biggest worry was how to let Rin know in such a state he was going home and she was to marry Halder. He couldn't bring her along with him anymore, she was too much a threat to him… and he was worst a threat to her. She was too much of a worry on his shoulders now at her age, many would get at him threw her. It wasn't Halder she came after and Halder would surely stash her away in the castle to sadly whither away… but safely. He growled at the thought of Rin raising his children, of Rin sharing the same room let alone bed as Halder made him want to tare Halder's head from his body. He hated himself for making such a choice.

It was not an easy choice that Sesshomaru had made, but it was one he saw most fit for her. He loved her, and yet for once he would not be selfish. Though his heart would stagger not wanting to leave so it may stay with her… he knew it would rest better knowing she was safe. Besides it was unethical for a youkai to take a human mate, so he reminded himself over and over… he could possibly lose his lands in a war at such a preposterous act in their eyes.

"Lord Sesshomaru," the young youkai healer said as she walked. Tsumi made sure to bow respectfully, "Lady Rin is well and wishes a word with you."

"Tell her I am busy," Sesshomaru said staring at the wall of his tent, "tell her we will talk when she is well."

"Yes milord," Tsumi said bowing and taking off for the tent. Rin did not take this news lightly.

"Tell his majesty I demand his presence now," Rin said remembering that technically she was still soon to be queen, if she could help it.

"Yes milady," Tsumi said nervously.

"Let me handle it," Sagoe said glancing over at Rin and nodding respectfully to her. Rin nodded at Sagoe who took off for Sesshomaru's tent.

"Why do you not go to her?" Sagoe asked angrily to angry to give him his proper title.

"Do you not know how to show respect to your superiors?" Sesshomaru asked snapping back at her.

"I do not respect those who do not deserve it," Sagoe snapped, "to those who are being called by the only ones who TRULY love them. The only one to love you…"

"Then you should not show respect to Halder as well," Sesshomaru snapped turning his gaze to her finally, "you show him respect when you've been by his side so long and then has the audacity to be marrying Rin. What kind of man is he?"

"The kind you were about to give Rin to," Sagoe snapped back angrily, "my lord."

"The kind I am giving her to as an alliance treaty," Sesshomaru said looking away.

"Yeah I bet you can't look at anyone let alone yourself how could you do that!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "my lord!"

"I'm not doing it for you! You are not my priority and neither is your people!  
Sesshomaru yelled, "this is for Rin! I care nothing of your feelings or…"

"Or apparently Rin's! She died to prove her love for you! And this is how you repay her! You don't deserve her! MY LORD," Sagoe yelled as she stormed out fumingly but stopping at the door, "I or any of my people will not do your dirty work. You can tell her yourself. And she said she demands your presence. As the future queen to Halder you should obey her, out of respect."

"Hmph," Sesshomaru sighed as Sagoe left fuming with anger. Halder found her pacing muttering to herself.

"Sagoe what bothers you?" Halder asked grabbing her shoulders as she pulled away.

"Sesshomaru!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "that pig headed stubborn son…"

"Whoa whoa now Sagoe where is all this hostility coming from?" Halder asked as Sagoe stopped and bit her finger trying to control the shakiness of her arm.

"I hope you guys find happiness together," Sagoe said shakily walking past him as the tears fell from her eyes and she took off for anywhere but there. Halder watched her worriedly feeling a pain twinge at her heart. Sagoe couldn't hold it in anymore she let out her tears feeling sorrow for herself as well Rin. Perhaps she deserved someone better then Sesshomaru.

--

It took several hours for Sesshomaru to get any courage to do what he was about to do. Every step felt heavier and heavier for the great daiyoukai. He began to have doubts but then he told himself it was for Rin, not himself… he wasn't going to get his heart get in the way of her safety anymore. NEVER again will it be her life for his.

"Sesshomaru?" Rin asked rolling over to see him walk in. Sesshomaru took a step in and looked at her. Although Rin was cleaned up she was still by far damaged. Marks marred her delicate face and body. However her body was regaining its strength, "you came…"

"How are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked simply as he sat down in a chair not to far from her.

"What are we going to do?" Rin asked looking at him desperately.

"We aren't going to do anything Rin," Sesshomaru sighed, "you are going to marry Halder as planned. It will keep an alliance between our cities."

"No Sesshomaru!" Rin cried out weakly, "I won't do it!"

"Do as I tell you Rin, I am your lord remember? I don't need you dragging me down or getting in my way anymore. I leave tonight," Sesshomaru said getting up as Rin watched him her eyes wide her mouth partially open unable to speak. A squeak came out as she felt her body begin to shake.

"Don't leave me, please," Rin cried watching the back of him stop in the door way.

"Be a wise queen and rule with every part of you," Sesshomaru said trying to move but unable to as his eyes began sting with that sensation he despised.

"Why?" Rin asked feeling her body shake as tears filled her eyes more and more.

"Do not cry Rin it does not befit one who is to rule. Be strong," Sesshomaru swallowed as Rin turned her head unable to watch him walk away.

"I have no reason to live," Rin said more to herself then to him.

"Such thoughts are for the weak. Be stronger then you are," Sesshomaru said hoping she would hate him so it would be easier to walk away. He needed to hear those words, he needed her to tell him to leave.

"Your everything," Rin cried each part of the words, "I, I just… why are you doing this!"

"You need not know my motives," Sesshomaru growled, "you are not yet queen. But I don't love you…"

"Then why did you say what you said?" Rin asked angrily feeling her body shake and tremble, "do not lie to me!"

"I didn't say whatever you think I said! But… I do love you. But I can put it aside and I have. You are no longer inside of me, it is what is best for the both of us," Sesshomaru growled before walking away.

"Don't come back if you leave," Rin said softly, "if you do this if you leave I will no longer hold any part of you in me."

"Good," he said finally leaving her. Although he was far enough he could not hear her cries of pain, he could steal smell the rich scent of her tears.

--

"Halder," Sesshomaru said feeling himself shake uncomfortably, "I am leaving. Take care of Rin do not hurt her. I will not stay for the wedding, I will send my wedding gift with Jaken who has returned to the castle to get it. Consider it an permanent alliance between us something no other clan or land has. Good luck."

"Oh, uh, what…" Halder muttered as Sesshomaru took off leaving everything and everyone behind. He took one last glance at the tent which held the one he loved in.

"Good bye Rin, find happiness, peace, and safety," Sesshomaru whispered into the air before turning and leaving for his home able to use his powers finally. But if only Sesshomaru knew, if he REALLY knew… they needed each other, they needed each other like a heart needs a beat.

Authors note: Thanks for reading! I hope this was some what decent for the long wait considering lol… I did this in a day and didn't proof read it so here you go folks!


	30. The wedding and silent whispers

**Chapter 30: ** The wedding… 

Authors note: I figured well I should keep going since I have all these ideas in my head! Grrrrr so here I go I am starting on another little chapter.

Rin lay in bed for a week as they traveled back to the castle. Her heart was in desperate pain as she thought back to the day she was brought back to life, because of her child and Sesshomaru's supposed "love" this thought made her laugh. Not really but it made her pretty mad and upset. He hurt her more then she thought even possible. Rin began to slowly get up and walk around through the castle as memories of the previous weak had ran through her mind.

She had many visits from Soton, a few from Sagoe who tried to pretend she was alright, and a lot more then usually from Halder who wanted to discuss getting married as soon as possible. He couldn't tell her he was having doubts, and so he needed to get it done. Rin spent her free time crying and wishing she could hold true to her threat about not holding in piece of him. The biggest problem was his child was growing inside of her.

"Rin?" Gracie asked walking in slowly watching Rin stir at the window, "what are you looking at?"

"I don't know," Rin said staring into the sky wondering if it were possible to die without any pain, "Gracie?"

"Yes milady?" Gracie said sitting on Rin's bed.

"Do you care about me?" Rin asked unable to look at Gracie.

"You know I do Rin," Gracie gave her shoulder a warm squeeze, "what can I do for you?"

"Do you know of…" Rin couldn't get herself to say it, "I don't want to live anymore."

"Rin no!" Gracie said standing up, "do not even think of such!"

"I can't do this," Rin said trying to keep a straight face but her eyes began to give away.

"Yes you can," Gracie said comfortingly.

"I'm pregnant," Rin said looking to Gracie, "Halder will know it isn't his…"

"Not if you get married sooner and well you can trick him my dear," Gracie said stroking her hair, "move it for tomorrow."

"I suppose your right," Rin cried softly, "but it won't look like him. He is Hanyou and Sesshomaru is full Youkai."

"Yes but all children turn out different look perhaps you had some gene in you stronger then his. I will go give the news my lady," Gracie jumped up before Rin could stop her. Gracie knew what the punishment for treason was, and being engaged to the prince and then bedding with another was included in that. She was going to make sure no harm came to Rin… even if it meant switch the babies at birth. This was a sad thought, but Sesshomaru abandoned her so Gracie was going to look after her.

Gracie announced it to Halder first who agreed to it before she announced it to the workers who began to work harder on setting up the large beautiful alter for the ceremony. Many chairs where being aligned for the many royalties invited as well as the higher military men.

--

Sesshomaru paced in his castle past Rin's door several times like he had for the past week and a half when the youkai female he was engaged to walked out. For a moment he hoped it was Rin who had chased after him, but no such luck for Sesshomaru. He just glared at her as she faked a smile. She had changed many things including clearing Rin's room of her things.

"Hello dear," she faked a sweetness in her voice that he knew didn't belong. He just scuffed and walked past her.

"Get out," he growled still moving down the hall to the main hall and into his meeting room which had a nervous looking Jaken sitting there.

"My lord!" He squeaked nervously as he bowed low to the floor.

"What is it Jaken I am not in a good mood," Sesshomaru snarled as he sat in his large fluffy chair.

"It's about Rin," he said standing back up. Sesshomaru sat straight up his ears perking at the sound of her name.

"What about her?" he snapped anxious for the news.

"They have moved the wedding to today," Jaken said nervously, "perhaps you should go stop her…"

"Never," Sesshomaru snapped showing the whites of his fangs and sitting back into his seat.

"Perhaps you should go and check on her Lord Sesshomaru at least give her your blessing," Jaken said knowing how his lord truly felt before bowing and leaving. Sesshomaru waited for Jaken to be all the way down the hall before running out of there and out of the castle and onto a cloud floating towards the kingdom.

--

Rin wore a beautiful flowing white dress she had never seen before. It was something foreign Halder had bought her as a wedding gift. Rin was already half way down the isle as she glanced back at Gracie who pushed encouragingly. Rin grasped the white roses and lilies so hard they were oozing wet stuff.

"You look beautiful Rin," Halder said glancing at Sagoe who watched sadly along the side. Rin knew what he was staring at and had put a lot of thought into what she was about to do. It was best for them… Sesshomaru was right. It was easier that way.

"Halder thank you," Rin said trying to smile at him. He gave her a weak smile and she looked down, "but I can't do this."

"What are you doing Rin?" Hlader asked looking around, "you don't mean it."

"I do and so do you," Rin said glancing at Sagoe, "I don't deserve you."

"Don't say this," he was turning red from embarrassment, "what did I do wrong?"

"It's not what you did wrong… it's what I did. I am pregnant with another's child," Rin said making the crowd gasp as Halder's eyes went wide in shock. He stepped away from her as the guards ran at her.

"How could you?" Halder asked unsure of what to think. Rin didn't fight against the guards what she did was wrong.

"NO!" Soton yelled making Sagoe look over to him with wide eyes, "it's my child!"

"What!" Sagoe gasped knowing it wasn't the truth, "no!"

"I forced it upon her when Halder was gone!" Soton yelled looking to Rin who shook her head no, "it wasn't her fault I seduced her and lured her into a situation she couldn't back out of."

"Soton," Halder said looking at his friend, "how could you? Behind my back? I couldn't see…"

"You hurt my sister repeatedly! You didn't deserve either of them! It happened awhile back I'm sorry," Soton said looking to Rin who was staring at him with a partially open mouth.

"No this…" Rin said as Halder shook his head and walked away as the guards dragged them off to await their punishment.

--

Rin sat in the bottom of the castle where all the prisoners were held. Rin cried helplessly inside of the cell knowing that their fate was death. She didn't care about herself, but about Soton's innocent life. She had repeatedly asked to talk with Halder, but he held himself in his study not allowing anyone in as he thought of what was going on. He didn't even know why he cared. He should just kill them and get it over with, but something wouldn't let him.

"Rin?" Soton's voice caught her attention. He had been placed next to her.

"Are you alright?" Rin asked her voice teary filled.

"I've taken beatings worst then that," Soton said grabbing the bars as Rin crawled to the front and stuck her hand through and he grabbed her hand.

"They hurt you," Rin cried feeling sorry for him, "why?"

"They may kill me, but if you did not consent the worst that can happen to you is you will be banished," Soton said squeezing her hand, "but your are with child Rin. Not only does my loyalty truly belong to you, but if they kill you Sesshomaru's wrath will be upon…"

"He cares nothing for me," Rin said hugging the cold bars, "I want to die. I was prepared. I am going to tell them the truth."

"Think about your child," Soton said angrily, "I am already in this and I am prepared to die. I will not back down, I will say I threatened to spread rumors to Sesshomaru Rin."

"Please let me die why won't any of you let me just ease this pain," Rin cried her long hair sticking to her sticky face, "it hurts so much. I can never forgive him I will never forgive him!"

"Rin?" a soft feminine voice caught their attention.

"Sagoe?" Rin asked trying to see through the dark, "how did you get down here?"

"I know my way around this castle," Sagoe said smiling sympathetically as she crouched down to her level, "you look a mess."

"Thanks," Rin let out a half sob half laugh, "I'm so sorry. I couldn't do it… not when I know you feel for him the way I feel I mean felt for Sesshomaru."

"Tell Halder he will understand," Sagoe said grasping her free hand.

"No he won't, and it doesn't matter I except death with open arms Sagoe. I wasn't ready, but I have nothing to live for now," Rin said looking at Sagoe through the dark.

"NO!" Sagoe yelled angrily, "If it is true if you are pregnant then you have something to live for! Something that needs you! I will not let you do this! And I will not let my brother go down for this!"

"Sagoe," Soton said making her jump.

"Soton?" Sagoe asked scrambling to the cage to hug him, "brother."

"Do not worry about me sister you will be taken care of. I am willing to give my life for Rin's help me persuade Halder it was me and force," Soton said as she pulled away.

"NO!" both girls yelled before Sagoe spoke up, "If you will not talk to Halder Rin then I will."

"Sagoe wait!" Rin yelled falling helplessly, "do not mention his name! It will start a war!"

--

"Halder," Sagoe knocked on the door and pushed it open. She was warned he didn't want company but she did not care. Halder didn't turn to her.

"I bet you think I am a fool," Halder said staring at his oak table, "as the rest of my kingdom does. I know you've come to ask me to spare your brother Sagoe, but I cannot look weak to them. They must be punished."

"Why?! He had no part in it!" Sagoe cried out falling to her knees at his feet.

"He confessed Sagoe you heard it!" Halder said lifting his head from his hand as she grabbed at his pant legs.

"Please my lord! I beg of you please!" she cried out, "believe me when I tell you it was not him!"

"Not him?" Halder asked angrily, "then it is another? Why am I to believe you? You are his sister?"

"I know who it was! I wouldn't lie to you and you know this!" Sagoe cried out as he stood up. Sagoe sat up straight still on her knees.

"You knew all this time that there was someone else," Halder said looking at her, "and didn't tell me?"

"I didn't know of a physical affair but I knew she loved someone else," Sagoe cried into her hand, "I knew it from the moment she tried to kill herself when he left."

"What do you mean?" Halder asked looking at the girl gasping for air as she sat back down so she could rest on her hand.

"I couldn't tell you because I thought you loved her, and I loved you," Sagoe cried being honest taking him back, "so I knew how she felt! To love someone who does not love you back, someone who was out of your reach. I'm so sorry my lord…"

"How could you! If you loved me you would have told me!" Halder yelled grabbing her by the arms.

"I promised her I wouldn't my lord I'm sorry!" Sagoe cried as he dragged her to her feet, "I promised I would keep…"

"Not about that! If you love me you would have told me you love me Sagoe?" Halder said loosening his group on her arms, "you let me go so long believing so many things. How did I get this way? How did I get here?"

"Halder?" Sagoe cried as he had released her and turned his back on her, "it wasn't Soton. But I am afraid to tell you who…"

"I will let your brother go," Halder said not looking at her.

"It's not Rin's…" Halder cut her off by putting his hand up.

"If I let both go they will question my authority," Halder said looking back at her.

"Then take me in as an accomplice too. I knew the whole time," Sagoe said angrily making Halder look at him.

"Sagoe wait," Halder said frantically grabbing at her.

"Let go! She loved him since a child and I understand it! That's why I didn't tell you! Because you don't care about anyone! It was only natural for her to love Sesshomaru!" Sagoe yelled as he loosened his grip on her.

"Sesshomaru? I should have known," Halder said looking at her, "all the signs were there. That bastard how could he? He knew we were engaged… and then he just left her like that?"

"That is why she welcomes death so freely. She devoted herself for so long and then he throws himself at her when he sees her with another. How could any girl resist the one they love? And then he leaves her as if they never happened," Sagoe said grabbing his arm, "so that is why I will die by her side."

"Sagoe," he said as she reached the door and she looked back at him, "your wrong. I care about somebody… I always have."

"She couldn't lie to you Halder, she had to tell you because she knew… of how I felt. She didn't want to cause any pain, to any of us," Sagoe said nodding before turning to leave Halder with his thoughts.

--

"What's happening?" Rin asked as a man swung the door open and grabbed Rin.

"Let her go!" Soton yelled running along his cage.

"Don't worry you'll join her shortly," the guard said pulling her up the stairs. She did not struggle as she was led out and dropped onto the dirt filled ground where she would await her punishment. Soon Soton was brought up and placed beside her, and then to their surprise so was Sagoe.

"Soton Rin," Sagoe said her eyes full of tears, "I tried…"

"What are you doing here Sagoe!" Soton yelled angrily at his sister.

"I turned myself in as knowing it was happening," Sagoe said looking at them, "I've lost all of my family. I will not be left alone, and will not let Rin die alone knowing she did this for our sakes."

"That's the point Sagoe I did it so you would live happier lives," Rin said glancing at her, "I had no idea he was going to jump to my offense like that!"

"Well here we are," Soton said looking at both girls he cared about, "I'm sorry Rin…"

"I'm sorry too," Rin said as tears filled her eyes, "you guys shouldn't be here."

"I'm sorry I let it get this far," Sagoe cried as Halder walked out to see the three in the dirt on their knees. Halder shook his head and looked away unable to see Sagoe down there ready to die along side them. Then he realized how truly passionate Sagoe was… and there was only one way to spare her.

"Let them free," Halder said looking to the people who watched waiting to see what would happen.

"What!" the military men said angrily as most of the crowd let out a sigh knowing it was no Soton's child, "they are traders! You are weak!"

"I made my decision!" Halder yelled angrily before turning back into the castle. If only he had known that this made his people love him more, even if it made his men look down upon him for being such a "weak" leader.

They gasped as their bonds were cut. Rin looked to her friends hugging them thankful they were still alive. Soton grasped his sisters hand before helping both the girls up. Rin didn't know what was going to happen after that, she had no where to go. Sagoe hugged Rin ready to go and thank Halder. Soton looked at Rin who shrugged.

"What will you do now?" Soton asked looking at her as she let out a sigh.

"Find a place to call home," Rin said looking to Soton.

"You have a place here," Soton took her hand and smiled weakly.

"No I don't, I had a place here. They all look at me differently now. I don't belong," Rin said smiling back at him weakly.

"I am going with you then," Soton said nodding to her.

"No you are not your place is with your sister," Rin said touching his shoulder as Gracie ran out learning of what happened. They were spared.

"I have no home here either… they believe I am the one who bedded the prince's fiancé before he did," Soton gave a smug smile that made her smack his arm, "the generals will not let me back in. I now am in the same boat as you. When do we leave my lady?"

"I leave now," Rin said patting his shoulder.

"Not without me you aren't!" Gracie said ready to go, "so to the stables it is?"

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to your sister Soton? And what about Vin?" Rin asked Gracie and Soton.

"He is already packing the horses for us," Gracie smiled a cheerful smile.

"It will be easier on her if I don't say goodbye. As well on me. Not to mention you will leave before I am in the castle. It is best we leave now," Soton said leading the way to the stables.

--

Sesshomaru walked through the cobble stone streets. People had abandoned their posts, it seemed so empty. Was it for the wedding? He was sure it was over by then. He saw the women and children slowly leaving the castle grounds. People watched him nervous, had someone warned him of Rin. Was he going to punish her himself.

"Is the wedding over?" Sesshomaru asked an elderly couple.

"Oh Lord Sesshomaru have you come to punish the girl yourself?" the old women asked in fear, "it is already over. Their punishment has been decided. Surely you would not harm her for it?"

"Excuse me?" Sesshomaru asked in confusion.

"For Lady Rin… did you not know? Perhaps I shouldn't tell," the older woman said looking to her husband.

"I demand you tell me," Sesshomaru growled as the old women got the chills and grabbed onto her husband.

"Lady Rin admitted to treason with general Soton," the old woman said nervously, "miss Sagoe turned herself in for knowing about it. They were sentenced to…"

Before she could finish Sesshomaru was gone and in the castle searching out Halder. He didn't smell her blood perhaps they hadn't done it yet. He wanted to protect her not condemn her. So why would she… with Soton? And then admit to it? Even though she made a mistake he would not let her be condemned for the fact she was the reason Naraku was destroyed.

--

"Halder," Sagoe said when she had found him.

"Leave me be," Halder said feeling his pride shattered and his name wounded, "leave me be…"

"Thank you My Lord," Sagoe said desperately, "thank you so much…"

"Do not thank me for being weak," Halder said growling, "I just wish… that you would love me the way you love them."

"I do… I saved you from making a mistake," Sagoe said walking in, "you must understand. There is something I need you to hear I cannot disappear I've tried again and again. I know we said a lot of things, but you are always on my mind… its like this all the time. Say it's because your mine all mine, and if you will… I will try to let it go. If you try I will try to let it show us the way cause love is here to stay just look me in the eye this is do or die, I can not say enough until you say enough. There is only given in there is no giving up in love."

"Sagoe," Halder said looking at her, "your face is all I see again and again again and again… it's like this all the time. Because I am yours. I've been yours for so long I had no idea you felt the same."

"I have," Sagoe cried as he walked to her grabbing her arms, "for so long since the day we met…"

"I'm sorry," he said before dropping his lips to hers, "if you will, I will. If you try, I will try. If only it hadn't taken so long. I love you…"

"Halder," Sagoe said her eyes still wet with tears as she had been waiting for that moment her whole life. He touched her face before dropping his lips to hers once again.

--

"Halder!" Sesshomaru yelled busting the door open and seeing Sagoe and Halder in an embrace, "you… how are you free?"

"What?" Sagoe asked before glaring at him, "this was all your fault!"

"Excuse me!" Sesshomaru asked growling, "where is Rin."

"Hopefully as far away from you as possible," Sagoe said angrily.

"She is alive? If not I will have your head. I should kill your brother," Sesshomaru growled angrily, "just tell me they made it out safe so they can live a happy life together…"

"What?" Sagoe and Halder asked still holding each other's hands.

"I heard that they admitted to…" Sesshomaru could not finish it, "just tell me they made it out alive so she can finally live happily!"

"You bastard!" Halder yelled as Sagoe pushed on his chest to hold him back, "this is all your fault!"

"I will kill you!" Sesshomaru growled lifting his hand up.

"NO WAIT!" Sagoe screamed out standing in front of Halder reminding Sesshomaru of when Rin did the same for him.

"I want answers," Sesshomaru growl his hand still in the air threateningly.

"They were never together," Sagoe said looking at Sesshomaru, "all she thought about was dying to escape the pain. So she figured everyone would be happier if she told…"

"Go on," he said when she paused unsure whether she should tell him about it all.

"She told that she was pregnant with another's child. Soton took the credit ready to say he forced it on her. I told Halder the truth that it's YOU who she was with, and then he having a heart after the mess you left for him to pick up let us go free," Sagoe said glaring at him angrily.

"She's pregnant?" Sesshomaru asked looking at Sagoe before looking to Halder, "I have to go…"

--

Rin rode on top of her gray stallion very uncomfortably afraid of the possible child inside of her. Memories began to flow back to ones of her and Sesshomaru and it was hard for her to hold back the tears. She turned her head trying to blink back the watery tears that escaped her red puffy eyes. Rin patted her gray stallion's neck as he tossed it. They had decided on traveling from town to town until they found one suitable enough for them.

_Are you alright?_ Something said in her head making her look around. It was the same voice as the one in the field before her horse jumped over the large attack.

"What?" Rin asked out loud trying to pretend she wasn't crying.

"What?" the others asked looking to her knowing she had been crying. It wasn't hard to smell her tears.

"Nothing," Rin said looking away from them and sighing. _It was all in my head._

_No it wasn't,_ the voice said in her head again before the horse snorted and tossed its head again.

"You?" Rin asked her horse out loud making the others look at her.

"What?" Soton asked riding up beside her.

"Oh nothing," Rin faked a smile.

"She is losing it," Vin whispered to Gracie who just nudged him, "she is talking to something that isn't there. Obviously the stress of this is too much for her."

_Yes milady it is I. I have been protecting you for awhile waiting for the right moment. For the moment you would be with child so I could make a full connection with you. But let your company be aware there is a small village near by,_ the voice said in her head again as the horse sped up.

"There is a small village near by," Rin said loosening the reins so the stallion could freely move.

"Yes there is how did you know this? I have a friend who lives in there," Gracie said making Soton look to her.

"That is where we will go," Rin said as Gracie nodded and veered to the right. The rest of them followed.

_So you can read my thoughts?_ Rin thought in her head.

_As long as you are open with them, _her horse said in her mind. Rin just sighed not at all too shocked, there seemed to be a lot of strange things happening to her.

_But how and why? _Rin asked curiously.

_I was sent to you to make sure things fell into place. I am your protector… and the elderly people who housed me knew of this. They can see things and called upon me. I do not know yet myself, but I know that the pup you carry within will play great importance in the future. _The voice said in her head.

_Is it a boy or a girl? _Rin asked curiously.

_A girl, _he said to her happily.

_A girl? What is her name?_ Rin asked curiously.

_What does your heart tell you?_ The voice said making Rin sigh, _I know you are down now but she will become your greatest joy. She will ease your heart ache my lady. _

_I hope so because I feel to broken to be a mother. I don't know how to, I was orphaned so young,_ Rin said sighing again.

_You've had many care takers in your life my lady. Gracie has seen to your care like a grandmother or a very over protective mother would. She will aid you as long as she can, _her horse gave a snort as they neared the tiny village nestled into the forest. It was full of many kinds of youkai. They climbed off their horses ignoring the stares as they followed Gracie to a house.

"Gracie?" an elder woman said smiling before hugging the other older woman. Rin smiled weakly as she was shown where to put her horse.

_I will see you later Ingwë, _Rin thought patting his muzzle. He just snorted and nodded.

_I will be with you every step of the way,_ he thought back to her making smile before kissing his cheek and walking out of the stables.

--

Rin lay in a warm fluffy bed as night began to roll in. It was not like the large mats she was used to it was more on some weird metal thing. Everything in that region was weird, very much different from the way she was raised. There was very little bamboo things and they didn't sit on mats to eat. They ate at something they called a table. Rin rolled over closing her eyes trying to not think about Sesshomaru. _Perhaps I will meet another… but I will never love again. _

_Rin_, something called her name and she wondered if it was her horse. Rin stood up her bare feet touching the cold floor her long dress still clinging to her. It was a beautiful dress even though it had dirt on it. Rin wasn't ready to change, she just wanted to sleep a dreamless sleep. _Rin comeee to me… _the voice whispered to her making her look around and feel drawn to its powerful command.

Rin walked outside to where the voice was calling her from. Fog and mist rolled around as she made her way through it all. She could feel the mist stirring as she stepped down on it walking through the town where the forest was free of small huts. Rin could feel something uneasy in the air, but the voice was so overpowering and so overwhelming.

"Hello?" Rin's voice rang through the openness, "is anyone there?"

"Hello Rin," a voice popped out from behind her and she recognized him. It was the dark haired man with the wings.

"You?" Rin asked looking at him realizing he was still alive.

Authors note: Alright hope you guys enjoyed! I am going to work on probably the final chapter or MAYBE the second from last. I am debating on writing another short story after this for these guys… but of their daughter growing up. Now sure yet… we will see I suppose. It would be funny to see Sesshy as a over protective Daddy trying to scare them boys away. And perhaps… I could even bring Sagoe and Halder into it… with a son. OHHHHH that would be fun! I already have some ideas of one shot or REALLY short stories about how Kagome and Inuyasha end up together finally and Sango and Miroku. I made music videos for those guys on Youtube and thought about writing stories to them also. ) What do you all think?


	31. These chains that we've made

**Chapter 31: ** The chains that we've made…

Authors note: I had so many different ways of how I was going to make the last chapter. I then got stuck between the Rin admitting to it and then another was Rin just said she couldn't do it because she knew Sagoe loved him and it was obvious he loved her back. And then he excepted that and then she stayed in the castle to live out her pregnancy which she told in private. Word Spread to Sesshomaru the wedding had finally ended (not knowing it was Sagoe instead of Rin) and then he sent an invitation to them for his wedding with the youkai lady I can't remember what I named her. And she decides to go for Halder's sake to keep the peace. Then when Sesshomaru sees her with Halder not realizing Sagoe was around and the TRUE wife of Halder, he cannot bare it. Rin separates from the crowd unable to witness the wedding, when Sesshomaru saw it he decided to talk to her to ask her why she actually went through with marrying another. Rin then tells him she didn't… then they are left in a dilemma she hates him, and he tries to win her over. But I decided this way was more dramatic so just you wait and find out. If you like the end I just told you better then I will write an alternate ending at the end of the story. But I have to have at least two or three people want that. Thanks for reading guys!

Sesshomaru420: Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. But yes that was harsh of Sesshomaru to do that, although he believed himself capable of it as well… thought it was best for them all. He was CLEARLY wrong as we all are sometimes. He is about to realize just how fragile love is… that once trust is gone it's hard to get back.

**WARNING: **Fluff alert slight OOC-ness. Just remember when you fall in love a lot changes including who you are IF you have TRULY fallen in love. So here we go…

Rin watched the man standing in front of her holding out an hand. Rin looked at him as if he was a stranger, what made him think she would take his pale hand. Rin looked down at his hand then back up at his handsome face. He smiled at her making something inside of her go as warm as a fire. Rin swallowed nervously looking away trying to break the connection he was making with her.

"I can ease your pain," he said his hand still holding out. Rin looked back up at him desperately wanting the pain and the betrayal to just melt away.

"How?" Rin asked curiously, "how do you even know about it?"

"It screams to me I can feel it radiating from miles away. I decided to seek you out and here I am. From the moment I laid eyes on you I knew you had to be mine," he said looking at her with his deep eyes piercing through her.

"What makes you think I will go with you?" Rin asked instinctually placing a hand on her stomach which protectively held her daughter.

"Because I know what you suffer from. I can take it away, and I can make you whole again," he said taking a step forward. Rin stepped backwards hitting a tree.

"Why should I trust you?" Rin asked angrily, "you worked for Naraku."

"Only so I could claim you," he said stepping towards her making her nervous.

"How can I believe you?" Rin asked stepping towards him feeling the pain tearing at her.

"You're a lonely soul like me Rin, but only because you won't let go of what your holding onto. Why would I lie to you?" he asked standing in front of her pulsing with something that made her feel strange and yet safe.

"Why wouldn't you?" Rin asked slowly look up at him seeing his handsome facial expressions.

--

Sesshomaru had finally gotten closer, he could smell her sweet scent. But why was it moving around so late at night? What was the weird smell he smelt, it smelled like bats. He made his way towards the village before seeing Rin standing there with a strange man. Then he remembered him in the forest with Soton and Rin, he was fighting Sesshomaru for her. Apparently he was determine about having her. Sesshomaru got close enough he could hear and see, but not be smelled by the demon.

"What makes you think I will go with you?" Rin asked placing a hand on her stomach.

"Because I know what you suffer from. I can take it away, and I can make you whole again," he said taking a step forward. Rin stepped backwards hitting a tree.

"Why should I trust you?" Rin asked angrily, "you worked for Naraku."

"Only so I could claim you," he said stepping towards her nervousness apparent in her body.

"How can I believe you?" Rin asked stepping towards making Sesshomaru growl softly, _why is she walking towards danger?_

"You're a lonely soul like me Rin, but only because you won't let go of what your holding onto. Why would I lie to you?"

"Why wouldn't you?" she asked looking up at him as he placed a claw gently on her face.

"Because if I wanted to I could have killed you by now I only want to take away your pain and suffering. But you must be mine in exchange," he said slowly lowering his lips down to hers. Rin just closed her eyes as his lips slowly fell onto hers. Rin squinted her eyes trying to push what was slowly invading her mind… an image of Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru's jaw muscles tensed as he bit down, what possessed her to do this.

"No!" Rin yelled pushing him away making him glare evilly before taking her arm pulling her to him, "NO!!"

"You will be mine!" he yelled angrily that sent chills down her spine as he grasped her arm tighter and grew large fangs. Rin screamed making Sesshomaru run, but by the time he got there he had already sunk them into her neck releasing the poison. Rin fell limp in his arms as Sesshomaru let loose his acid whip catching the dark bat youkai off guard. He tried to scatter dropping Rin's body as he tried to take off into the air. With two flicks of Sesshomaru's hand the bat youkai's wings came falling off and he crashed into the ground.

"I'm going to enjoy killing you," Sesshomaru growled walking past Rin's limp body. Sesshomaru whipped his hand again as the creatures eyes went wide and was cut into many pieces. Sesshomaru turned to Rin whose body was convulsing and jumping. Something was turning her?

Sesshomaru fell to his knees beside her grabbing her with both his arms. He flipped her over and her skin was turning gray and her hair seemed to be growing as the blood ran down from her neck down to her white and dirty dress. It was so tight fitting half of her breast were pushed up and the red blood poured in between its cracks and crevices called to him. Rin lay shaking in his arms, what was happening to her? He inspected the wound and was thankful he hadn't marked only injected her with some of his youki. Sesshomaru had to do something her body was slowly dieing and turning into something else. Sesshomaru placed his mouth to her neck and began sucking at the wound spitting the black blood out until slowly it was filling with fresh blood. When all that came out was Rin's red blood he stopped sucking and looked at her neck longing and desirably.

"Rin?" he said shaking her as her body was trying to fight the poison injected in her. It was too late to get what had already spread so he was hoping it wouldn't affect her. Rin's eyes fluttered as her hair had stopped growing and her nails had also ceased turning into claws.

"Where… what?" Rin began to fight before realizing who it was. She looked up at Sesshomaru before touching her neck where the wound was slowly healing instead of remaining bleeding, "I feel…"

"Shhhh don't talk," Sesshomaru said with her sprawled in his lap.

"Different… I feel fine," Rin said not feeling any pain, "it doesn't hurt anymore. It's gone…"

"It healed," Sesshomaru looked at it in surprise. Had she gained some of his youki and used it instead of being poisoned by it? Was it just enough for her human body to evolve from? Rin nodded letting go of it before touching her stomach, "the child is fine…"

"How do you know?" Rin asked pulling away from him so she could crawl away from him.

"I was told about it, and now that I know I can sense her," Sesshomaru said looking at Rin who stared blankly under the star filled sky. It lit him in such a way that made him so beautiful and pleasing to the eyes. More so then he already was, "Rin I'm not asking for a second chance I'm begging you. I know I hurt you, but please giving me reason not choice. Because I will make the same mistake again…"

"You said this to me before," Rin said holding her arm as she looked at him.

"Because it is true Rin. Can we talk and not just speak, I know I barely keep my promises. But my reflection has bothered me Rin I know I made a mistake," Sesshomaru said as he stood up walking towards her.

"No!" Rin yelled standing up and backing away from him, "I don't trust you anymore! How can I ever trust a word you say!"

"Rin," he started towards her again, "I am sorry you don't…"

"No, I know what it takes and I won't hesitate anymore. I won't ever listen to you again. I told you not to come back, because I don't care anymore. I am through with you, so there is nothing left to say. I'm alright, and I don't mind. Your no longer creeping in my head Sesshomaru, because I am okay… I am on my way away from you," Rin said glaring at him before stepping towards him pointing a finger he backed up noticing her appearances she was a little different, "you have gone to far, this is who you are. Now YOUR back is against the wall, and I don't care at all. Here is the price you have to pay, and I can hardly wait. I'm tired of having you lingering in my head, I don't need you. I won't let you bring me down again. It's just the way you are, and it's just how it is…"

"Enough," Sesshomaru growled as he watched her. Rin stopped but her glare remained constantly on him. She looked the same but she had green mixed in her once chocolate orbs, as beautiful as it was… at that moment she used them with hatred. Her hair was now down a little past her waist. Her nails were a little longer and he could smell that she had taken on some of the demons traits. He was turning her into a youkai, but Sesshomaru had stopped it… and there was still some in there. So was she a Hanyou? No there wasn't enough in her for that… but she was no longer human. She was ¼ youkai so still mostly human, "Rin listen to me and listen to me good. I will not repeat myself. I have gotten as dull as old barbed wire from living, I am constantly hearing about other lands being torn apart by each other. Killing for no reason woman and children all dead, it should have cut me right in two but it didn't. I don't know why it didn't, but I want to feel something Rin and I only feel when I am with you.

"If your telling me that's just how it is I don't buy it because I remember all those kisses we've shared. I felt that somewhere in my soul that time stood still and I cant let go. I can't tell you because I don't know when it was I got cold… how did I get so cold? I know I've hurt you Rin, repeatedly, but I have never loved… not until you. This Sesshomaru feels nothing, except for with you. I hate that I am jaded and I make you cry. But still you stuck with me for so long only you know why. But damn it all I'm done Rin I swear because I don't like what I've become… so please come back to me. I just want to feel something again, something that's real something that moves me. Something that proves to me I am still alive… like when I run my fingers through your fingers cross your face and through your hair, when I breathe you in like air. I just want to feel… something. Come back to me Rin."

"No," Rin cried shaking her head unable to stand it everything he was saying the way she was feeling all the power she felt was overwhelming her but not as much as the desire to run into his arms, "NO! You hurt me too many times. You left me alone and scared… how could you!"

"Rin," he said looking away from her, "I did say all those things to you, I lied when I said I didn't. I have a lot to say Rin… I have been thinking on my time away. I miss you and things weren't the same. Everything inside never comes out right Rin, and when I see you cry it makes me wish I die instead. Rin I couldn't bare to see you die once for me… never have I felt this way. This time I know I am to blame, and this Sesshomaru never admits it. But it is getting harder to get through the days, as you get older blame starts to turn to shame. I can never seem to say to you just what I want to… I'm sorry I am bad Rin, I am sorry I hurt you, and I am sorry for the things I said. I know I cant take them back, but Rin I… I need you. I've never admitted that. Every single day I think about how we came all this way, the sleepless night and the tears you cried. It's never to late to make it right, that is why I am here. I love how you kiss, I love how you sound, and the way you make my world go round. I just wanted to tell you Rin, even if you don't want to hear it… I'm sorry. I'm sorry Rin, I'm sorry."

"Why?" Rin cried falling against a tree, "are you doing this to me? Can't you just leave me alone? Let me die in peace."

"Don't talk like that," Sesshomaru said stepping towards but she flinched and shook her head no.

"Why because it's weak and pathetic? Well guess what Lord Sesshomaru, I am a human I am weak and pathetic! So leave me alone!" Rin cried out trying to sound serious but she just broke down in tears.

"I can't make you come back, I can't take back what I did. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. Before you turn to leave again, and throw away all these years think of everything we used to be. You say that your over me, but I'm asking you begging you… not to leave. I know right now it's hard to breathe, hard to think, and hard to see all the reasons we should work it out. It might be easier to go, but if you walk away we will never know how strong we could be at the end of this. I know that sorry is not enough but I will do everything anything to make it up. What if I told you I would stay, would you still walk away? What if I told you I loved you? Would you say it's too late? What if you could feel what I feel when I watch you slowly drift away? What if your wrong, what if I am right, that you could move on… Rin I need you to stay. Please do not prolong my suffering. You're the light to my soul Rin, you are everything. You're the strongest person I know Rin…"

"Please no more," Rin cried turning her head so he couldn't see her tears, "I can't trust you Sesshomaru…"

"I know Rin I know this. But if you give me a chance you will see that no rush, even though I need your touch. I don't want to rush your heart. Until you feel on solid ground once more, until your strength is found. I know I hurt you before, and I treated you unkind. Broken wings need time to heal Rin before a heart can fly I know this. Trust in me once more, and you will find a heart so true. All I want to do is give the best of me to you, and stand beside you. I will fill those canyons in your soul, like a river that needs you. I will walk a step behind in the shadows so you shine, just ask it will be done and I will prove my love until your sure that I am the one," Sesshomaru said stepping in front of her as she cried pushed up against the tree, "just tell me what this Sesshomaru can do to make things right."

"I don't know," Rin said turning to look back at him, "you broke me."

"I know and I am so sorry how can I fix you Rin," Sesshomaru said touching her face, "you're the only home I have Rin. Days just go so slow without you… even though I was surrounded by a million people I just want to go home. I miss you. I keep the letters I was writing to you, each a line or two… I'm fine how are you. I was going to send them but I know they weren't enough, my words were cold and flat you deserve more then that. I got to be back with you, let me go home Rin… I've been too far from where you are and I need to be with you. This Sesshomaru needs you, because I can't stand feeling like I just stepped outside when everything was going right. I know just why you can't trust me, I let you down when you always believed in me. But I want to go home, Rin let me go home… let me be with you. I feel so alone, and I miss you. This Sesshomaru has never been so desperate, so powerless. I made many mistakes, but I am done just… give me a chance ONE last chance the only you need give me. It will all be alright, I will be what you need of me from now on."

"Sesshomaru," Rin said her face slowly making its way up to him, "I've been holding on a rope ten feet off the ground, I'm hearing what you say but I just can't seem to find the words to reply with. You don't seem to understand how bad that hurt. Not understanding why you brought me back… did you hate me that much you wanted me to suffer? I would take another chance, take fall, take a sword through the heart for you. I love you with a fire red Sesshomaru but its turning fire. Its just too late to apologize. I needed you like I need air and water. You showed me how much your words mean nothing," Rin said glaring at him thinking back to that day.

"I'm a man of my convictions Rin call me wrong call me right. But I am bringing my heart to this fight, you may not understand what I did but I need you to know where I stand," Sesshomaru said looking down at her with a soft face one she didn't know he possible of, "hate me if you want to Rin, but love me if you can."

"Sesshomaru?" Rin asked looking up at him swallowing nervously caught off guard by the fact he was actually trying, "I don't understand…"

"I've reached the only logical conclusion Rin, love isn't suppose to make sense. This isn't a thinking thing it goes deeper then that. It's a physical and emotional devotion, something I can no longer hold back. There isn't any reason why, it just is… this a no thinking thing Rin. Forget all we once knew, forget all the lessons we learned. This is down to you and me Rin, things go deeper then what we've been taught. Do you remember Rin when I was talking to you when you were coming back to life. I meant every word I said," Sesshomaru said touching her hair, "how did we go wrong? It was so good and now it's gone, and I pray that our paths will cross, what we had isn't lost. Because your always in my heart and thoughts. Somebody wants you, somebody needs you, somebody dreams about you every single night. Somebody cant breathe, without you its lonely somebody hopes that someday you will see… that somebody is me."

"You will always be in my life even if I am not in your life," Rin repeated thinking back to it.

"Because your in my memory," he said touching her face, "you when you remember me and before you set me free Rin… listen please. That somebody is still me."

"Sesshomaru," Rin cried looking up into his deep golden eyes.

"That somebody is me," he said pulling her into a hug which she didn't refuse, "it's me."

"I'm…" Rin didn't know what to say, "sorry. I just am so scared…"

"It's alright Rin," he said still holding her close to his body realizing it was the first time he held her with BOTH arms, "I was broken when you died. I realized when I had a second chance at your life I never wanted you to die for me again. I never wanted it to come down to your life or mine. I'm sorry it took me that to realize you are my life now. I never thought it would come to this, that I would be so…"

"Strong?" Rin asked that not being the word he was going to say. He was going to say weak, until he realized that it truly was strength that love gave him. It gave him the ability to give him the strength.

"Yes," he said looking down at her which seemed so soft like usually except for her brown eyes which had swirls of green. Rin let a weak smile escape.

"I heard you were still engaged though," Rin said looking up at him as he looked down at her and let out a sigh, "is it true?"

"It was but I kicked her out," Sesshomaru said looking back down at her, "she wasn't you."

"I see," Rin said looking to him and looking down, "promise there will be no more games? No more stupid ideas that I would be safer some where else? I'm tired of feeling torn apart… and all your thoughtless words that broke my heart. Promise me that you will not give me a reason to leave anymore. I need to know there is something I can believe in."

"I promise Rin," he said pulling her close again. Rin nodded before pulling away and nodding back to the village. Sesshomaru followed her through the dark and slowly fading fog and mist. Rin reached the house and slowly cracked it open a little before walking in allowing Sesshomaru in her. Sesshomaru watched Rin with his usual face as she walked past him to where the room she had to herself was.

"Let us rest tonight," Rin said looking up at him without a smile. Sesshomaru's eyes lowered knowing he had left a mark on her heart, one that still bled even though she tried to forgive him. Sesshomaru walked into the room as Rin shut the door. Sesshomaru walked to the bed and looked at Rin curiously. It wasn't quite what he was used to.

"Can't we just go home?" Sesshomaru asked looking back to the funny invention. Rin just sighed before climbing onto the bed and rolling over. Sesshomaru copied her wondering why she turned in the opposite direction of him, "I'm sorry…"

"I know," Rin sighed not wanting to talk about it at that moment, "I'm trying to forgive you."

"I know," Sesshomaru said looking at her with desperate eyes, "every step every turn that I take every thought every move I make seems to bring me closer to you. If the day is done Rin and I haven't found you then tell me so I can go down another road and try again. How can I find the love we both use to know, maybe I can find a new way… but I hope you will forgive me someday. But nothing is going to slow me down until I get you back fully, but nothing is going to slow me down starting now Rin. I'm going to find a new way, I am going to find away to hold you because I just can't stand sitting around waiting for you to just come back around. I will do what it takes Rin."

"I know," Rin said turning over to face him so she could look at him with heartbreaking eyes. Sesshomaru touched her face.

"If we buried our swords and didn't fight anymore can you imagine all the mountains we'd move if we loved a little harder. There is no telling all the walls we would break through if we loved a little harder. You could help me change things… I am not afraid anymore to love Rin," Sesshomaru said smiling weakly at her, "just think of how much better off we would be if we opened up our hearts if we believe. Just one more shot Rin… lets start over new."

"I want that," Rin tried to smile back as she didn't resist his hand, "your arm… it's back."

"Yes," Sesshomaru said placing it under her head so she could get closer to him. She laid her head on her chest letting out a sigh trying to imagine how things would be and a smile came to her face when she imagined standing beside Sesshomaru watching their daughter, "I love you."

"I've always loved you," Rin said looking up at him with eyes full of emotion, "I'm sorry it took you so long to realize that."

"Me to," he said smiling at her a smile no one but her ever saw, "I want to hear you, I need to feel you. You are the light that leads me to the place where I find peace. You are the strength that keeps me walking, you are the hope that keeps me trusting Rin. Your everything. How can I lay here by you and not be moved by you? Tell me how could it be any better then this?"

"Sesshomaru…" Rin asked looking at him feeling moved by his words. He never opened up and yet there he was with such a tender soft voice telling her what was in his soul. The very words he held back from her so long, so many years he didn't share them.

"You calm the stores and you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, you never would let me fall. You steal my heart and you take my breath away. Your all I want Rin, and your all I will ever need. You make me want to be better, to be a good lord and rule wise. Your everything, you everything to me, your all I want and all I need, everything Rin your everything to me. Everything inside of me, everything that I crave, everything that fills me. You move me in everyway. You inspire me. You scare me. You loved me when I was darkest, and I love you through all the dark. So could you tell me how it could get any better then this? Any better then to just look at you. It fills me with something I cannot explain. You are poetry itself Rin, and I do not deserve."

"I've learned something," Rin said scooting in closer to him.

"What is that?" Sesshomaru asked watching her every blink.

"Life isn't always beautiful lord Sesshomaru, sometimes it is just plain hard. It can knock you down and break your heart. Life isn't always beautiful you think your on your way, and it ends up just being a dead end road at the end of the day. I was always missing your face, and I got tired of walking all those lonely miles. I wished for just one minute to see your beautiful face, I realized I could dream but life didn't work that way. But the struggles make you stronger, the changes make you wise… and happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.

Then you realize life isn't always beautiful tears will fall sometimes, but it's a beautiful ride. Especially when its with you, and I know I will be fine in time. Time heals all wounds my lord, and I think we will be fine," Rin smiled at him for the first time a genuine smile, "another day has almost come and gone. There were times I wanted to hide away and lock the door, a single battle lost but not the war my lord. Tomorrow is another day. More hard times will start circling around, a couple of drops and they will all start coming down. I might feel defeated in those times, and I might hang my head I might be barely breathing but I am not dead. Tomorrow is another day, and we will make through whatever comes. I'm not going to let it get me down, I'm not going to lose any sleep tonight. Tomorrow is another day and I am not afraid so bring on the rain. Tomorrow is another day Sesshomaru and I am thirsty anyways so bring on the rain. Bring on the rain."

"Well hasn't little Rin become brave," Sesshomaru smiled at her moving forward to kiss her, "together we will face whatever come Rin I have faith now."

"Me too," Rin smiled as he went for another kiss. Rin smiled placing her hand on her cheek. Rin watched him for a moment as a spark lit in her eye, and one in his matched hers. Rin bit her lip as he pulled her closer before gently nipping at her neck slowly moving them into more soft kisses which he showered over her skin. He quickly rolled over so he was leaning over her. Rin's hand found the curve of his neck as his hand grasped hers lifting them above her head attacking her exposed skin.

"You're the life to my soul, you're my purpose," Sesshomaru whispered into her ear as he moved to kiss her lips. Rin smiled as his hands glided around her waist. She laughed as it tickled her he just smiled as he showered her with more kisses. Rin kissed his cheek as she pulled away so he could look at her. Rin smiled at him as she watched him contently. Her hand slowly reached up so her fingers could softly touch the purple marks on his cheeks. After tracing them she gently stroked his cheek with the back of her hand before using his muscles to lower himself low enough to kiss her once again. Rin's arms wrapped around him as he kissed her neck and then her lips. Gently she sat up so he could undo the back of her dress, while he did this her hands fumbled for his armor. Rin felt a little more relieved when the dress was finally off. She smiled remembering his words _you steal my heart, and you take my breath away,_ Rin's smile wider as he began kissing down her neck as she wrapped her legs around him. He smiled up at her before attacking her flesh once more.

Rin gripped his strong arms as they became one, and he couldn't control it anymore he had to make her his. He stopped a moment dropping his mouth to her neck and carefully sank his teeth into her flesh marking her. Rin winced for a moment as the blood slowly began to run down her neck. Rin just closed her eyes feeling him lick the spot and slowly begin to proceed with his original motion.

When he had finally finished he lay down on top of her not moving. Rin was able to hold his weight, and she welcomed the protected feeling as he slowly drifted in and out of sleep. Rin stroked his long silvery white hair as he rested his head on her chest the sheets only covering their bottom half. After awhile Rin slowly feel asleep to wake up to Sesshomaru watching her. She smiled up at him as the sun slowly began to peak through curtains of the window. He touched her face observing the healed spot where now two purple marks like the ones on his face on her neck where he had marked her.

"We are one now," he said placing a hand on her face looking her in the eyes, "and in doing so we will get married when return. The whole human custom you desire. But you cannot wear this dress."

"But why it was a gift from my former…" she laughed when he gave her a look and growled. She just nodded before pushing up onto her elbows so she could reach Sesshomaru's inviting lips.

"I want a BIG wedding," she smiled at him and even though he did not smile back his eyes smiled back at her.

"Alright," he said resting his hand on his hand which was propped up by his elbow. She rolled onto her side so she could face him.

"I want EVERYONE to come," she smiled mischievously.

"Alright, wait… define everyone," Sesshomaru lowered his eye brows.

"EVERYONE Sagoe Soton Gracie," Rin said smiling before thinking harder on it, "Kagome, Miroku, Inuyasha…"

"Wait, wait, wait you want my annoying half brother there? I had to talk to him and that was to find you. I would rather kill him before invite him to my I mean our wedding," Sesshomaru said placing a hand in her hair.

"Sesshomaru," Rin growled angrily. Her growl sounded very humanly compared to Sesshomaru's canine growl, "you said whatever I want. I want Inuyasha and his friends to come. As well Soton Gracie Sagoe Halder all of them."

"Halder AND Inuyasha? Do you want me to attend this wedding? You can't have both pick one," Sesshomaru growled rolling over making Rin smirk before sitting up.

"No I want BOTH," Rin said giving him an smirk that showed she liked the power, "if you love me…"

"Fine," Sesshomaru gave half a sigh half growl. She just smiled feeling rather pleased.

"Thank you," she said kissing his cheek even though he didn't turn towards her.

"Whatever," he said not turning over.

"I love you," Rin said making him smile but not turn. It was nice to hear it again.

"You better," was all he could respond to her with.

"Well I do," Rin said touching the skin of his regenerated arm.

"It came back when I thought I lost you. I don't know how or what happened but the same red pulse that brought you back healed my wounds and gave back my arm," Sesshomaru said turning towards her his expression still the same as usual, "I would have given both arms to keep you safe and bring you back. I love you Rin. No one has ever risked their life for me."

"I would do it again," Rin said looking at him with love. This did not make him smile only frown.

"I never want you to do that again. I was giving my life for you," Sesshomaru said hastily and with deepness in his voice.

"As was I," Rin said back with the same tone in her voice, "my life is nothing without you. I found that out the hard way."

"The same feeling goes here. So I guess it would be wise for neither of us to put each other in such a predicament again. I will not lose you," Sesshomaru said touching her face but not smiling, "ever again."

"I understand," Rin said moving forward to give him a kiss but he stopped her.

"I never want you to take what was due for me. I am serious Rin I demand that you never do such a thing again. Someone must live for our daughter and you are the one more eligible to be a parent," Sesshomaru said holding her hand and watching her seriously. Rin watched him a moment before nodding. He gave her a kiss that lingered a moment before finishing what he had to say, "on a happier note I cannot wait to bed wedded to you. Prepare your things Rin and let your friends know. We leave come noon time."

Sesshomaru then stood up to redress himself as Rin watched her lover slowly put back on the armor that held his powerful stoic form. Back to the great daiyoukai Lord Of the Western Lands. And she was to be his Lady, for she was already his mate. This thought made her smile, and she knew that he had won most of her heart back. Through all the chains they had made, one broken link could not destroy them. They would soon head for home where she would help make things better, after of course her very large extravagant wedding. She had so much to do, most of all invitations!

Authors note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As I said above let me know if you would like it or not. Next chapter will be the final chapter. It may take a day or two to get it done but it will be a big priority. By the way my Youtube user name is: MizzMarie729 so if you want to you can check out my Inuyasha/Kagome and Miroku/Sango video's which will give you an idea of what will be to come for the next two short stories and then POSSIBLY a story with these two and their grown up daughter. How will Sesshy feel with his daughter getting older and boys starting to be drawn to her. And Halder and Sagoe's mischievous curious son who seems to pick on their daughter a lot. Anywho let me know if you would be interested in that story line. Anyways hope you liked it!


	32. Forever and memories

**Chapter 32: **Forever and memories…

Authors note: Thank you for all of your reviews! And thank you all for reading once again. Let me know what you thought about the idea I had, and whether or not you want the Alternate ending. ) Thanks guys!

Mistress Ayako: Yeah I don't know what the children would be, but I thought it would be interesting considering the "parents past". Rin is now like 3/8ths demon because of the vampire bite. Sesshomaru is 8/8ths so yeah the child would be 5/8ths and Sagoe is also a hanyou she just has more of the youkai blood in her then her brother. So it's more like their child would be hmmm… they aren't too far apart. It kinda of evens out actually. Two hanyou's both the demon inherited the dominate gene and then a human and a full youkai. But yeah I already messaged you about the whole song thingy. Yeah there was a song or two that I just took and mixed around to make it Sesshomaru's and what not. I heard them and thought "THAT IS SO THEM" so I wrote it, too show that EVERYONE has a soft side if they TRULY love someone. D I warned of the FLUFF. But laughter is alright lol… I mentioned a little OOCness. Anywho I hope you enjoy )

peckforever: Hey thanks much for your review! Yeah she would forgive him no matter what, she was finding it hard to resist. But as I sent you in a PM it would be the same happy ending but I would just change how it happened. Instead of the Soton saying Rin's baby was his it would be they just discussed it before the actual wedding and then they get an invitation from Sesshomaru (thinking she had married him after all and kind of a respect thing, as well vengeance for the pain of it all) and they go and then they have a discussion there which will slightly be different but will end with their wedding instead of him with the youkai lady. Anywho I am glad you liked the happy ending! Awwww I'm sorry to make you sad about it ending, but I decided that I would possibly make a second one. One with their daughter, but obviously they would be in a LOT of it. Thanks again!

Sesshomaru420: Thanks so much! You've been my most faithful reviewer! It makes me happy to have someone especially someone like you constantly following and reading this story. Yeah I thought it was pretty crafty to thow in Rin's new divine power of control, since he PROMISED he would do ANYTHING to make her feel safe with him. So Rin needs to use that WISELY. To her UTMOST advantage evil grin anyways thank you for your reviews! And I hope you like this chapter I am ABOUT to start. Laters.

Rin sat on top of her gray stallion as the others unnerved by the sudden appearance of Sesshomaru, and Rin's different appearance. Her hair and nails had grown over night, and most of all.. two purple stripes were on Rin's neck where you mark your mate. No one asked questions, they just followed Rin's orders.

"So where to my lady?" Soton asked looking at Sesshomaru with a glare Sesshomaru was starting to get angered by.

"Back to The Western Lands to where Lord Sesshomaru's castle is," Rin said looking to Sesshomaru who stood beside her not wanting to ride a horse ever again, "Lord Sesshomaru…"

"I will move beside you Rin but I will not get on one of those pathetic human beasts," Sesshomaru said crossing his arms. Rin just smiled not wanting to fight about that with him.

"Alright my lord," Rin said as the group started for the West following Sesshomaru's silent lead. He very rarely showed affection in public, so Rin did not take offense that the most he did was walk by her side. But when they ran he was in the lead and they made a thinner line.

--

It took them a week before they had reached the Western Lands and then another several days before they reached the castle in the higher mountains. Out of all of Sesshomaru's castles his preferred one was the one in the mountains because Rin smiled the most their. It was where she grew up, where his new life with her as a child had began. He didn't bring her there until she was ten to give her a little time not chasing after Naraku. Those thoughts made him cringe of all the things she had been put through.

_She has been so strong, even when I put her as for down as she could go. She never questioned me, and she never betrayed me. Yet all I did was hurt her. I am so surprised she has taken me back. I am more surprised I happened to fall in love,_ Sesshomaru sighed sitting in his study while Rin was busy with planning and sending invitations. _Invitations,_ Sesshomaru cringed as he saw Halder and Inuyasha both at once at something he was SUPPOSE to enjoy, _Damn it Rin,_ he thought as he began to write his signature approving both Rin's wishes for the weddings and the catering ALL the things he was thankful he was no part of but gave permission for. He began to REALLY regret what he did, now he had to suffer EVERY wish of Rin's for maybe a year until he could use the phrase, "that was in the past." He smiled as a thought of her in a dress popped up, and the night before which they spent every second un-wasted.

There was so much going on in his realm since he had been gone, so many villages had been attacked… and people were moving in on territory not of their own. Many people's villages on the outskirts had been destroyed and they were asking his permission to move in on his lands. Some were humans, and now that he was taking a human as his wife and mate… he couldn't use the excuse "I hate humans." Sesshomaru could only smile at how things turned out, was this how his father had hoped it would? Was it how his father imagined him and his human's future before he died? All he could do was sigh thinking how much a like he was with his father. But at least he could finally understand his father, and admire him. Because he realized that he would die for Rin, no questions asked. _Hmmm isn't ironic I suppose. I'm sorry father, and now I can finally understand Inuyasha. She was made of the same love I share with Rin. I mean the hanyou is still obnoxious, overbearing, and disrespectful. But he is family, and he is the same as my daughter will be. I thought I would never fall in love like this, how did I go so long not knowing? _Sesshomaru hated his new found conscious it seemed to get him thinking more then he liked to do.

_I wonder what Rin is doing,_ Sesshomaru thought before standing up to go and find out. He walked through the castle until he finally found one of the three handmaids he hired for her against her protest. Secretly she enjoyed it, and he witnessed it when he spied on her.

"Where's Rin," he demanded with the authority he's known sense he could remember.

"My Lord Sesshomaru," the human handmaid bowed before speaking up once more," she is in the fitting room awaiting someone to fit her for her wedding dress my lord."

"Good," Sesshomaru would never say thank you to someone that low, even if he felt gratitude. For some reason he felt he needed to see her, which he felt often after being so far away from her. More then several hours and he felt a twinge in his heart… something he had never felt before. The realization that he was losing her to someone else, and then the fact of her being away just showed him what he really wanted… what he really needed which was Rin.

Sesshomaru turned the corner passing the many rooms which were factories for different things. At the moment everything was focused on the weddings which would take place in three days. He stopped at the door and cracked it open silently not to disturb her… and there she was. Sesshomaru let a small smile escape his lips as he burned the image in his mind. She was looking at herself in a mirror playing with her hair trying to see how she liked it. All she wore was the under dress from her wedding gown which was a wedding present from Sagoe and Halder. Rin would never tell Sesshomaru Halder had any part of that dress. Sesshomaru swallowed as he slowly closed the door behind her a loud enough for her to hear. Rin jumped before turning to look at him. A shy smile danced on her face as he walked towards her.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin said her smile growing wider, "what are you doing in here. Don't you have business to attend to?"

"It can wait," he said walking towards her. Rin turned to look at him but he turned her around, "I have something for you."

"Really?" Rin asked with curiosity. Sesshomaru just nodded before turning her head so she couldn't see. Rin laughed as both his arms reached over and placed his arms around her neck. Rin closed her eyes as she felt something fall onto the skin of her collar bone. Rin opened her eyes as he finished fastening it… this time with both HIS OWN and not a temporary arm, "Sesshomaru…"

"It belongs to you," he said as she turned to face him her long slightly wavy from the bun she normally held it in hair hung down her back against the white soft thin tight forming under-dress. He couldn't help but notice it as he looked at where she placed her hand. The beautiful red ruby and diamond necklace he had bought her when it all truly began, "I promised I would bring it back to you. It's the only thing that kept me going through everything that happened Rin. It made me feel you were with me always…"

"I was," Rin said smiling up at him her hand still resting on the beautiful jewels on her neck.

"Wear it for the wedding," he said smiling down at her making her smile widen, "it's the only thing that I want at that wedding, other then you of course."

"Your request will be granted," Rin smiled at the fact he was smiling again.

"I missed your smile Rin," he said touching her face as she placed her free hand on his chest.

"I missed not having a reason to smile," Rin said looking up at her lover her mate. He let out a sigh as his free hand wrapped around her waist and a mischievously look flashed in his eyes. One she was beginning to know well.

"Rin," he said pulling her closer kissing her lips gently feeling the passion that rose in his stomach every time. Something he had felt before, but not quite the way he did knowing he was hers and she was his, "I love you. Which has never been a word this Sesshomaru used even if he felt it. Perhaps is why it took me so long to say it to you."

"I love you too," Rin said blinking as he dropped his lips to hers squeezing her not wanting to end their embrace.

"Rin!" Jaken squeaked walking in to see the lovers entwined in their embrace. Sesshomaru shot him a look with red eyes.

"Get out!" Sesshomaru growled a yell that made Jaken jump frantically, "and next time knock!"

"Why are you so upset?" Rin asked with a laugh as he let out an angry sigh.

"You could have been undressed. Then I would have been out on a loyal servant," Sesshomaru said turning his head from the door back to her.

"That would have been bad yes," Rin shrugged before looking to the door, "but why?"

"Because I would've killed him," Sesshomaru giving her a look that said 'come on now' Rin just laughed, "I would lose it. So apparently I need to have a…"

"Miss Rin," a servant said walking making Sesshomaru stop and growl for a moment.

"Get OUT!" Sesshomaru looked like he was about to lose it as the maid fearing for her life turned on her heals.

"Calm down Sesshomaru," Rin said with a smile as she walked to the door and placed a chair in front of it to jam it. Sesshomaru turned his head to look at her as she slowly slipped the short arms off of her shoulders. Sesshomaru watched as she let the dress that clung to her so nicely dropped, and he forget EVERYTHING at that moment bothering him. Rin smiled bigger when a smile formed on his face as he walked towards her with her dress partially hanging off.

--

Rin rolled over leaning on her elbows so she could look down at Sesshomaru who had managed to fall asleep. He had been working so hard since they got back. Everything had seemed to go wrong leaving poor Sesshomaru in high demand for his help. Rin was not too torn by the fact he was constantly in his study or in the meeting room with his generals, she herself had been preoccupied with the wedding.

_He seems so at peace,_ Rin thought as she watched him move a little and as his head turned to the same, _he has been so busy. I don't know how he does it. He comes in so late and leaves before I waken. _ Rin couldn't see how it is he managed to fall in love with HER so simple and plain. He was so beautiful and miraculous. Rin began to wonder if he had started his vows… however, she didn't expect much. But she wanted hers to be perfect so they started running through her head. _He's so beautiful,_ Rin thought before he opened an eye then both.

"Your watching me," Sesshomaru stated before turning his head to face her as she shook her head yes and blushed. He pulled her close to him so she could lay on his chest, "I had a dream…"

"Really? What about?" Rin asked curiously as she nuzzled into him trying to find her comfortable spot.

"You," he said plainly closing his eyes again enjoying the momentary rest with Rin.

"Me?" Rin asked in surprise. Normally that wasn't a good thing, when he had a dream that involved her he usually ended up grouchy or wouldn't talk to her, or would say it made him worried.

"I think it was more of a memory correct me if I am wrong," Sesshomaru said thinking back to his dream, "we were in the forest talking and I didn't answer your question. I was stubborn and walked away leaving you there. You never returned to camp, I was so scared… and so I went after you. There were men who had harmed you and so I killed them, but the final one was a youkai and he poisoned me with a trick. I couldn't remember what happened after that, but I remember waking up with you laying on me. It all came back to me Rin… I was spilling my heart to you at that moment. All my desires and feelings came pouring out. I promised I would remember the next day, and I tried to persuade you to be with me but I couldn't do it I was in so much pain so I told you to lay with me. Was that a dream? Or did that really happen?"

"It did," Rin said thinking back to that night when she was seventeen. Rin turned eighteen several months prior a little after the engagement to Halder. Sesshomaru nodded and sighed.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to remember," Sesshomaru said touching her face, "I wish I would have remembered sooner."

"Me too Sesshomaru, it was the first time anyone had ever touched me. First time I had ever been kissed. I always wanted it to be you, but it was as if it didn't exist. It only haunted my memories," Rin said looking at him not avoiding his touch, "but here we are and I'm planning our wedding. Which by the way I sent Inuyasha his invitation this morning. Halder and Sagoe already sent back that they will be there. In fact they got married several days ago, it is too bad I missed the wedding. But they are trying to have a baby…"

"Good for him," Sesshomaru said trying to be nice but the look on his face showed he VERY much so did NOT care a bit about Halder. He still had a grudge about the whole thing.

"Sesshomaru my love are you being sour again?" Rin joked as she bit her lip before moving up to kiss him. He did not reject her kiss but he glared at her.

"No," Sesshomaru stated, "I just don't see why BOTH let alone ANY of the two. Why does anyone have to be there?"

"You don't want to be seen marrying me?" Rin said giving him a sad look turning his words around.

"Rin," he said to let her know he wasn't kidding, "don't expect me to be happy that day…"

"Sesshomaru! I expect you to smile the whole damn time!" Rin said catching him off guard with her use of language. Her hand slapped to her mouth before Sesshomaru let a smile slowly creep on his face, "sorry."

"Don't be," Sesshomaru just watched her amused with his mate, "I'm going to enjoy watching you in your dress… and I'm going to enjoy even more taking it off."

"Sesshomaru," Rin smiled before moving up to kiss him, "my lord you truly are an animal."

"Do tell," he said watching her with a smile, "I will do anything to keep you happy Rin, I hope you know this."

"I'm starting to," Rin said smiling at him. He couldn't help but hold onto the guilt of what he almost did. He almost separated them permanently… he almost lost her to something worst.

"I will protect you at all cost," he said making sure she knew this, "I will never love anyone but you."

"I hope so," Rin smiled at him never wanting him to be with anyone else even after she died, "do you think I will live longer?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru smiled at her, "the amount of youki you got transferred is enough to sustain a long life. A little less then a hanyou's, but way more then a humans. Unlike me you will age faster, I will not age much before I die… you will still grow old."

"And that is why I will cherish every moment possible," Rin said looking at him with high hopes, "you make me happy. When your not making me upset."

"I know," he laughed at her sarcasm, "you're the only thing Rin that has filled me with a completeness, and happiness…"

"You should save this for your vows," Rin said looking at him with eyes full of emotion.

"Vows? I have to write what?" Sesshomaru asked trying to play off he didn't know. He had actually already worked on it and was pretty much finished with it.

"You forgot," Rin said her eyes lowering to ones of hurt. He shook his head no.

"I didn't I have something," Sesshomaru said kissing her forehead, "but I have to get back to work Rin."

"Oh of course," Rin said as he kissed her quickly before standing up and looking down at her before walking away. Rin just smiled before getting up as well and calling for the maids to help her finish her dress.

--

Finally the big day arrived and the castle was in an uproar. Rin was worried about getting ready as well as finishing last minute details. Neither her or Sesshomaru had much time to see each other in the past few days between establishing a new village of humans, and Rin's planning the wedding with Gracie. Soton, at Rin's request, became the head of the army.

Rin stood still as the maids including Gracie were fitting her into her beautiful bright white dress. It was different then the traditional weddings, Rin had taken a liking to the styles Halder had brought home to his people. And the dress she had worn at Halder and hers wedding was exquisite… so this one had to be better MUCH better.

"Rin you called for me," Jaken said walking in looking up at the girl standing in front of him.

"Yes Master Jaken," Rin smiled sweetly as he closed the door behind him trying to hide his tears. She looked so beautiful and they weren't even done with her yet, "are you… crying?"

"No," Jaken squeaked turning around.

"Master Jaken… your crying," Rin smiled as Jaken shook his little head no.

"It's just that Rin looks so… grown up. So beautiful," Jaken said blubbering into his hands.

"Oh Jaken," Rin smiled a big smile, "I would like to ask a favor of you."

"What is it child," Jaken asked wiping away the tears so he could look her in the eyes.

"You're the only father figure I've ever known, you've taken care of me since I was a child," Rin said smiling down up at him.

"Yes and? Get on with it," Jaken said trying to not get emotional again.

"Well Rin would like to ask if Master Jaken would give her away? If he would walk her down to aisle," Rin said making his little beaked mouth pop open. All he could do was shake his head yes as he covered his big beady eyes, "so you will?!"

"Yes!" he squeaked ecstatically. He began to blubber again, "it… is… a duty… I will take… on … with pride!"

"Good," Rin smiled kissing his cheek, "it will start soon make sure everyone is in their seats please."

"Yes Lady Rin," one of the maids said running out to the garden. The music began to play as everyone took their seats uncomfortable with what they were sitting on, most were used to mats… but Rin wanted chairs.

The garden was heavy with the scent of floral and baked goods. The grass was green and lush, a long white carpet with silver edges went all the way from the alter to the door where Rin would be exiting from. The chairs were white decorated with red roses. The alter had a small black platform with a little one higher so the priest marrying them could stand a little higher then them. A large canopy was above the alter held light see-through curtains that dangled on the sides and behind the alter.

Rin stood patiently for her cue as the doors swung open and everyone owed and awed at how wonderful Rin truly looked. Rin glided down the isle feeling as if she were on top of the world. Everyone gasped as she walked by them, she was so beautiful… she looked perfect. Jaken cried walking beside her. Sesshomaru looked at Jaken wanting to frown at him, but realizing Rin had always been like a daughter to Jaken. Jaken was just happy for them… or otherwise. Sesshomaru's face softened when he caught her eyes, she was coming closer. Rin walked up the steps slowly as Jaken took a seat. Standing before Sesshomaru was his mate, and soon to be bride.

"You look beautiful Rin," Sesshomaru said with such sincerity. Rin smiled up at him. She was wearing a long flowing white dress. It hugged her just right revealing her curves… it clung to her chest pushing them up. It's sleeves did not cover her shoulder but wrapped around her arm with strands of jewels that hung in a U shape against her arms. Rin was surprised that Sesshomaru was dressed in something different for a change. He wore his usual outfit but it was darker in color, and he wore no armor. He was one to stick to the old ways, but if new was what Rin wanted… he was happy the wedding was that way for her.

"Thank you," Rin said watching him patiently as Miroku began the service. Finally came the vows…

"Would you like to go first Rin?" Miroku asked as Sango watched from the audience holding their baby along with Kagome who was holding hers.

"Alright," Rin said blushing feeling nervous, "well…"

"It's alright Rin don't be nervous," he said smiling at her in away that seemed to take away all her fears.

"For so long I had closed off the idea of love, I knew that it would take me from you. Then something happened for the very first time… with you. My heart melted to the ground, for the first time… I was in love. I knew everyone could see it, and they thought I was crazy. At first I believed I was too, but slowly more and more… I fell in love. Many told me not to think about, everyone said not to act on my foolish humanly desires. But it was more then desires, and I tried so hard to ignore them but they were getting through for so long. I knew they just wanted to protect me. But nothing was greater then the comfort of you, and all I could see was your face. I knew I was in love with you, no matter how hard they tried to pull me away. It cut me open, it dug so deep… my heart was crippled by it all. I knew you were the one, but you were my lord… and I was your ward. At the most a friend. It began to drain all of me, they found it hard to believe… but I was wearing my pain. I didn't care what they said, I knew it… and I still know it. I'm in love with you. Through all the pain, all the things that went wrong… all the times I thought I would shatter. I love you.

"I want to go with you where ever you go, I want to lay with you forever. I want to stand with you where ever you stand… and I want to be with you forever. Because there is a song that is inside of my soul, it's one that replays over and over blaring until I go deaf. It sings of a heart that needs someone, a heart that jumps up praying to be only yours. It sings that you're my only hope. It is a song of the stars, of a love longer then the galaxy. When it feels like my dreams are so far, it sings over and over reminding me of the plans we have and will make. I am given you all of me, and I want you… and at the top of my lungs I will shout to the world of the love that saved me. The one I love. I love you," Rin stared at Sesshomaru with deep love as she bared her heart to him. Sesshomaru watched her moved by her words, words that would save him over and over again. Rin smiled when she finished, he wanted to reach out and kiss her… but knew it would ruin everything.

"Very touching very beautiful," Miroku nodded hurriedly, "now Sesshomaru-sama it is your turn."

"Right," Sesshomaru said looking back at Rin finding his inspiration, "Rin whenever I am alone with you, you make me feel as if I am whole. Something I had never truly felt. With you Rin I feel like I am home, and like I am young again. However far away I will always love you however long I stray and whatever words I say I will always love you, I will always love you Rin. I wish I had told you sooner. I don't know how you do it but you make me feel as if I am free. Until the end of time Rin I am yours and my love will be yours alone. There is no telling where I would be without you, when I am down you're the only one who can pick me up. The right one is hard to find Rin, that is why I am holding onto you… because there is only one person meant for another. You're my one person I am meant for. In the good and bad, even through the heart ache, we have a special bond that will never break as long as we remember our feelings for each other. Like I said before you're my soul mate.

"But Rin I am still learning how to believe, I am trying not to stray trying to see things your way. I am still learning how to trust because it is so hard to open up, but I would do anything for us. I'm still learning how to bend, how to not hold myself back when it comes to letting you bend. I will be there until the end Rin, I will be a lover and your friend. I'm just trying to understand how it's all in someone else's hands, that there has always been a bigger plan. But I don't need to understand anymore Rin, because you came into my life… I spent so much time thinking. You showed me how to put meaning into words, and a real heart in my chest. It was something I never knew how to use, until you… I am thankful we crossed paths Rin. That day and every day after led us to this day, and I wouldn't change any of it. You've changed this Sesshomaru for the better, and I love you Rin. Forever."

"Sesshomaru…" Rin said her eyes watery with such words. She hadn't expected much, and he gave her a symphony.

"Alright, alright, you take her right?" Miroku said not wanting to read how it was fully said in one of the many visited placed by Halder.

"Of course," Sesshomaru said glaring at him as if that wasn't suppose to be a question.

"And you take him right?" Miroku said hurriedly to Rin who nodded before answering.

"I do," Rin said with a big smile.

"Well kiss the bride she's yours now," Miroku said patting Sesshomaru on the back making Sesshomaru glare at him again as Miroku's smile slowly faded and he took some steps back. Sesshomaru then turned back to Rin pulling her to him so he could kiss her. Rin's arms wrapped around his neck forgetting everyone watching.

--

Everyone had enjoyed the cake and the dancing. Sesshomaru was finally able to escape the crowd and hunted down Rin for another dance. Rin was talking with Kagome, Sagoe, and Sango. The girls stopped talking to each other as Rin smiled walking to her husband. Sesshomaru smiled at her take her hand.

"Hello wife," he said trying to get use to the word.

"Hello husband," Rin said squeezing his hand.

"I want to dance," he said making her giggle as he pulled her onto the dance floor. Meanwhile Inuyasha and Halder were talking.

"And that is how it is done," Halder said after talking about how to make something that Inuyasha didn't even care hearing about. Inuyasha rolled his eyes in annoyance, all night Halder had been badgering Inuyasha. The minute Halder's back was turned to grab a snack Inuyasha ducked out among the people trying to hurry away. Once the dance ended Rin and Sesshomaru left the stage. Sesshomaru lowered his eye brows at the sight of Halder searching for someone, _it better not be Rin. _Inuyasha then popped out.

"Did he see me?" Inuyasha asked hushed making Rin smile and Sesshomaru growl.

"I doubt it why?" Sesshomaru asked looking at his brother, "never mind I don't need or want to know."

"The stupid fucker won't leave me alone! I think he is in love with me!" Inuyasha said ducking again when Halder looked that way, "I see why you never really liked the guy. Fucking annoying!"

"At least somebody agrees with me," Sesshomaru said smiling before looking to Rin who was glaring at him.

"You guys are mean grow up," Rin said before walking off to where the girls played with the babies.

"KEH… you got a feisty one," Inuyasha said to his brother who just looked at him and shrugged.

"Yeah I guess I do," Sesshomaru added as he tried to not feel uneasy next to his brother. Finally they were able to have a civil conversation.

"Can we kill Halder?" Inuyasha asked as Halder caught glimpse of them. Sesshomaru was going to say yes but Rin glanced at him giving him a look.

"Unfortunately not until Rin is gone," Sesshomaru said watching Halder make his way over there, "but we have to make it look like an accident."

"Sounds good," Inuyasha said waiting for Halder to look away and when he did both Sesshomaru and Inuyasha ducked out of sight so when Halder looked back they were gone.

"Halder," Sagoe said knowing what was going on, "why don't you spend some time with me."

"Yes my love," he said walking to her and kissing her placing a hand on her tummy. She too was pregnant.

Rin glanced at Sesshomaru who stood across the way looking at him. She made her way to him, she already missed him. He took her hand and pulled her into a kiss then a hug.

"I'm happy," Rin said as he held her tight.

"Then I am happy," Sesshomaru said closing his eyes so he could picture her.

"I love you," Rin said still clinging to him.

"I love you too," Sesshomaru added, "I always have and always will.

Together they danced away the night their wedding night the happiest day of their life… so far.

Authors note: Sorry it took me so long to get this up! I have been really busy! Super sorry! But man I am tired I am going to sleep all. Leave me some love! Then I will start writing again soon… )


	33. PREVIEW Under the Bloody Moon 2:

**PREVIEW- **This is a preview of the first chapter I just put up. Go and check it out!

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**Under the bloody moon2: **

**The twists of fate… **

**Chapter one: **The royalty of the Northern and Western Lands…

Summary: Nearly eighteen years after Rin and Sesshomaru marry and have their daughter Midori, he is often taking off to expand his territory. Mean while Rin is alone raising her daughter, and a war is being planned behind everyone's back. A war set against the Western Lands… two Sesshomaru may not be able to fight. One keeping his family, and two keeping them alive. Meanwhile Halder and Sagoe bring their children to visit Rin. How will Sesshomaru feel when his daughter and Halder's outspoken son team up... and get into more trouble.

Authors note: Hey guys yes I am finally back! Sorry I just didn't know how I wanted to start it! Sorry it took me so darn long! But here I am, and here is the first chapter to my new story. Thank you those who read my original and are now moving onto this one.

A young woman ran around the castle garden her mothers eye strongly on her. Midori, little sweet Midori. It meant green, which was Rin's favorite color at the time. Akemi, that was Rin's daughters middle name… or more of a knick name. It meant beautiful which Rin loved calling her daughter because Rin loved making her daughter smile. Sesshomaru wasn't around very often, and Rin was left alone at home while Sesshomaru was extending their territory. Rin tried to tell herself, more like make herself believe, he did it for them. But for awhile he began to crave more power, as if he had lost it by having a family.

He barely spent time with his family anymore, and Rin didn't know how to keep her daughters questions at bay. Now Midori was almost eighteen herself, and Rin was beginning to feel like her youth was slipping away from her. Rin still had a youth to her, the wrinkles had not yet started appearing. But Rin was starting to feel as if everyday went by way too fast. There was times when Rin thought of leaving, but knew that Sesshomaru wouldn't allow it.

'Ha,' Rin thought angrily. When it came to her daughter, not even Sesshomaru could stop her from making her happy. A sigh escaped as she watched her daughter sit down on the ground and pick a flower. Jaken was some where running around trying to keep an eye on the unruly teen, "Midori!"

"Mama?" Midori asked looking up at her mother standing by a nearby window watching her.

"Are you staying out of trouble?" Rin asked her daughter as Midori stood up, wow how tall she had grown since a child.

"Hai mama," Midori said her long flowing dress looked much like her mothers. It had become a fashion in their region do to Rin, and her fondness of it.

Surprisingly Midori did not have her fathers silver hair, but inherited a more brown red color do to her mothers dark brown almost black hair. She did not inherit one or the other, but it met in the middle. She did however have her fathers eyes, and his crescent moon on her forehead. Her cheeks were free like her mothers, and her ears were not as long as her fathers… but they were pointy. She had grown into quite a woman, and yet her father was barely around to see it. So every time he would come home from business he would be so surprised how much she had grown.

"I would like to talk with you," Rin smiled at her daughter. Midori nodded before walking back to the castle. She was so much like her mother, and Rin knew it.

--

"Momma," Midori asked turning the corner.

"My daughter," Rin said her face glowing in the light.

"You wished to speak with me?" she asked her mother, "when is father going to be back? It has been nearly five months since he left."

"I know sweet heart, but papa said six months," Rin said looking sympathetically. Midori just nodded softly before lowering her gaze to the floor, "you know what he does for us…"

"Not anymore mama he only does what he does for himself now," Midori said watching her mother drop her own gaze before continuing with her speech, "why do you let him make you feel like this momma. I know your always crying and unhappy late at night…"

"Enough!" Rin yelled looking up at her daughter, "you know nothing of the sort. I love your father so I stick by him and his decisions…"

"Maybe you shouldn't. He obviously doesn't love us, otherwise he would be with us. And a woman shouldn't let a man put her in any position mother, truly you…" Midori was cut off by her mother.

"Enough I said Midori! Who filled your head with such poisoned idiocy?" Rin asked feeling her anger building up, "a woman's place is by her husbands side no matter what. We should be grateful for what we get…"

"If this is what marriage does to you then I will never marry!" Midori yelled angry that her usually so strong mother was letting herself get so weak.

"You will marry who your father tells you," Rin said feeling her breaths get shallow and her body get shaky, "but enough of this…"

"But mother," Midori said before her mother raised her hand for silence.

"I said enough of this Midori," Rin said trying to regain her posture, "I brought you in here to talk about an upcoming event… not of your father. He will not be here for it, otherwise it would probably not be allowed."

'There was time when I got whatever I want… but now he doesn't quite seem to care,' Rin thought back to the beginning and how happy they were, how happy she was.

--Flashback--

Rin was holding the baby in her arms when Sesshomaru walked in with a semi smile. He seemed so happy about their daughter, and it showed on his face. Rin handed Midori over to her husband and mate who bounced the little bundle of joy in his arms.

"She's beautiful like her mother," Sesshomaru commented softly. A smile erupted on Rin's young face.

"She's got my heart like her father does, and his eyes…" Rin smiled placing a hand on the baby and kissing Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru just smiled before looking back at the baby, "what should we name her?"

"Can we name her Midori?" Rin asked giving him a look her couldn't deny, he still owed her.

"If that's what you wish," Sesshomaru said kissing her forehead before sitting down and rocking his daughter. Rin watched him in aw of how sweet of a scene it truly was.

-End of flashback-

"What do you wish to talk to me about then?" Midori asked trying to not upset her mother anymore.

"Do you remember young Lord Juro? And Lady Aneko? The daughter of King Halder and his wife Sagoe?" Rin asked as Midori watched her mother.

"Yes I remember them. I remember that their son was a snotty child, but I did like very much Aneko. Although she is a year and a half younger then I," Midori said fiddling with the long sleeves of her dress.

"Well they are coming to visit for awhile," Rin said smiling at her daughter. They were in one of the smaller meeting rooms. It wasn't used often, but Rin remembered Sesshomaru playing hide and seek with Midori in that room. Whenever he would play… after hours of begging and playing.

"Is that so?!" Midori said a whole new excitement in her eyes, "when will they be here?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, and that is why we are having new dresses made. Rooms will be cleaned and decorated for them, as a dinner party is also being prepared. So you should get to class early today, and then get to the dressing room so you can be fitted for a dress," Rin said touching her daughters face. Midori smiled before running off to find Jaken who scolded her for taking off when he turned his back for a second.


End file.
